I've been drafted - great fun

[Anarky]

Today it happened. The letter arrived, the one I never hoped would come. It was actually funnier than I thought, but still, it pisses me off to no end.

Dear Future soldiers,

In a couple of weeks you will be drafted. I already welcome you to that. The recruitement will last for 2-3 days.

This recruitment is taking place to evaluate your personal abilities so that you can be placed in our nation's army. There will be a professional, educational, sportive and psychic evaluation of your personal abilities.

...

We will try to evaluate whether you have leading capabilities or not, so that you can maybe advance and take responsibility within the army.

This recruitement will be your first contact with the army. There are certain rules you have to obey and personal needs and preferences you will have to put aside. You will hereby save us a lot of work.

We only want your best.

Isn't that just hilarious? "Do whatever you want, as long as you do what we want"

Blah, I know I'm unsuitable, I know I will never be in the army (screw all that "hero"-talk), I know they don't want me. So why the hell do I have to bother? But what worries me most is that they might get funny ideas and try to keep me there. And what's even worse... it takes three days, so I have to hang around with a lot of racists, hillbillies and other assorted idiots there. Great fun.

[Katie]

Ugh! Makes me glad they only make the GUYS sign up for selective service here.

Good luck! Hopefully it will all work out the way you want it to :)

[Anarky]

Well, there isn't many ways the thing possibly can turn out. With my bad eyesight, there's no way I could keep friend from foe. Besides, I can't do this because of "moral reasons".

But still, it's a tremendous waste of time and resources for them and for me. So why the hell do they even draft me, despite the fact that they know that I won't ever be one of their "future soldiers".

[Katie]

Indeed.....

I have found that most governments rarely do anything the easy or logical way. The shortest distance between two points is almost never a straight line in their collective eyes.

That is why we have $500 hammers and toilet seats in Washington DC :lol:

[Raph's Girl]

oi ve!

Im glad I can never be drafted....shell there's no way I'd be allowed in the military with my bad back, bad eye site, and all the other stuff wrong with me. :P

My brother wanted to join the military but they turned him down cuz he's colour blind. :lol:

[Sewer Bull]

Gah. I hope they won't recruit you. With you and Matt in the army, Poland's peaceful days are numbered :dead:

But what worries me most is that they might get funny ideas and try to keep me there. And what's even worse... it takes three days, so I have to hang around with a lot of racists, hillbillies and other assorted idiots there. Great fun.

Three days?:o What's that, a whole recruitment camp?

I was drafted three years ago. It took the whole month and comprised three visits paid to the Army's local office. The first one - I showed myself to them, proudly presenting that I am a good citizen, alive and kicking, who received the Sacred Letter and who is not afraid of fulfilling his national duties. The second one - that whole physical/health/intellectual assessment that stole the whole day of mine. Finally - I came in to pick my "Soldier's ID" up.

I'm sure everything will be alright with you.

[Jester]

I might be showing my ignorance...but what exactly does the Swiss Army do?

[Spitfire]

I've heard the Military is a big waste of time but that's just what I heard from people who served in the US army so I don't know what it's like there. My Step Dad said "Go to college and then get a job. Use the money you get from that to buy a gun and then shoot people.getting shot at isn't half as fun as it looks on TV."

[iris]

Anarky, I'm sorry you're being drafted. Sounds like it won't be fun. Maybe you can just tell them your screen name is Anarky and they'll leave you alone. :ohwell:

I might be showing my ignorance...but what exactly does the Swiss Army do?
Play with knives? :P

My Step Dad said "Go to college and then get a job. Use the money you get from that to buy a gun and then shoot people.getting shot at isn't half as fun as it looks on TV."Just play paintball. Less jail time.

[Anarky]

I might be showing my ignorance...but what exactly does the Swiss Army do?
Nothing worth mentionning. They move troops from point A in Switzerland to point B in Switzerland. Then they wear flashy uniforms and they.. uhm... that's about it.

[Jed]

So did you not get a choice in getting that letter and being drafted? Or did you sign up?

[Anarky]

So did you not get a choice in getting that letter and being drafted? Or did you sign up?
Every young man has to go through recuitement here. It's not like in the US where you can just go and say "Army? Totally my thing. I'm in." No, here it is like "Army... oh f***". And I was so hoping that they'd forget me, or look at my medical record before they make me appear before them.

Gah. I hope they won't recruit you. With you and Matt in the army, Poland's peaceful days are numbered

Prepare for invasion, we're coming Tuesday morning 8am.

[Dinny]

I feel your pain, man. Next year the Greek Army is going to send me a letter, but my short-sightedness should get me out of it...hopefully...:(

[Jed]

What happens if you ignore it and don't show up?

[Anarky]

What happens if you ignore it and don't show up?
I could go to prison for three months. I'll show up, but they better let me go again, otherwise I'll really have to go to prison, and that would piss me off a lot. But then again, with my left eye being almost blind, I get off easily.

[Ra]

...damn. That really bites Anarky :( Well, you could go and just goof of or something...pretending that you went into a coma before you get to go. Are there any loop holes for you to get out of this? If not, I sincerly hope you don't get called upon. The militery has recked too many lives as it is

[Anarky]

...damn. That really bites Anarky :( Well, you could go and just goof of or something...pretending that you went into a coma before you get to go. Are there any loop holes for you to get out of this? If not, I sincerly hope you don't get called upon. The militery has recked too many lives as it is
Swiss military costing lives? Hahaha... If they get killed, then they have accidents within the military. The last time we really needed our precious armed forces was a cleaning up job after a landslide. And for that, children, a country needs tanks, jet fighters, lots and lots of guns, houses, garages, more guns, uniforms...

Goofing off or coma-nonsense wouldn't help at all, since they'll just give you a new date where you have to show up for the test again. And they have seen enough people going the psycho-route to get off that they're no longer impressed by one more. I'll just go, answer truthfully, do my somewhat best at the sports exams (good thing I never could do a lot of things they want me to do. Climbing poles, running for 12 minutes straight and all that crap).

It's just that it's a tremendous waste of time and money. I mean, I even get free transport, which isn't too bad at all, but when you get to a place you don't want to go, do you want free transport?

[ThirdMarioBro]

Regardless of what country it is, the military is just a bunch of fat lazy old men who want to play with younger people's lives as though they are action figures. The army, navy, marienes, and airforce or each country in this world can kiss my ass.

Sorry you have to go through that sh*t Anarky. :(

[Nturtle]

Wow, that just plain ol' sucks dude. Don't they have to do some sort of medical examination first? They might not know about your eye if they haven't called you up for anyhing until now...

My dad had to go through something similar for about 2 or 3 weeks a few years after the India-China war. He said that though the whole training, drilling etc. was pretty miserable, the worst part of it all was having to be around the people who actually enjoyed that army stuff. :dead:

[That Matt Guy]

Show up at the recruitement drunk.

[Jester]

All the military spouces, members and kids might get a little ticked of by some of this...could you turn the anti-military stuff down a couple of notches...thanks.

[ThirdMarioBro]

Show up at the recruitement drunk.



^^Wiser words were never spoken.



...remind me to never move to Switzerland.

[Anarky]

...remind me to never move to Switzerland.

Oh, you're safe. That only applies to Swiss citizens.

All the military spouces, members and kids might get a little ticked of by some of this...could you turn the anti-military stuff down a couple of notches...thanks.

Sure we can. But I tell you what. At least in the US you can choose whether you want to be in the army or not. You have it good.

Show up at the recruitement drunk.

They'll make me show up again. But I will have some beer with me, you can count on that.

[iris]

At least in the US you can choose whether you want to be in the army or not. You have it good.We don't have mandatory service obligations, but the goverment can impose a draft when they feel the need. Usually that means resources are thin, and morbidity and mortality are high. Our military is seriously overtaxed right now; we would have a draft in effect if key government officials would allow it.

[GK Punk]

Makes me glad to know my health isn't good enough to ever be drafted.

While I have respect for anyone and everyone whom has fought and or died for their country, I just don't think I can do it.

Show up in a dress. When they ask why you are wearing a dress, tell 'em "Because it's comfortable and make me look pretty".

They'll send you home.

[ThirdMarioBro]

I love my flat feet and twisted back.

[The Stryker]

Man that sucks Anarky.

but it is true about the american army, we have it easy for now. "YOU VOLUNTEERED FOR THIS!......IDIOTS!!!"-Kurt Angle

[BartAllen]

Today it happened. The letter arrived, the one I never hoped would come. It was actually funnier than I thought, but still, it pisses me off to no end.



Isn't that just hilarious? "Do whatever you want, as long as you do what we want"

Blah, I know I'm unsuitable, I know I will never be in the army (screw all that "hero"-talk), I know they don't want me. So why the hell do I have to bother? But what worries me most is that they might get funny ideas and try to keep me there. And what's even worse... it takes three days, so I have to hang around with a lot of racists, hillbillies and other assorted idiots there. Great fun.
whats wrong with the army? youll be made into a killing machine. doesnt get more manlier then that

[Sewer Bull]

whats wrong with the army? youll be made into a killing machine. doesnt get more manlier then that

Oy gevalt, that wasn't really needed...:roll:

[Dr. Doom]

Show up at the recruitement drunk.

Or gay. =D

[Anarky]

whats wrong with the army? youll be made into a killing machine. doesnt get more manlier then that
I wonder... why aren't you a soldier then? Why haven't you gone "playing in the sandbox" yet?

[Spitfire]

whats wrong with the army? youll be made into a killing machine. doesnt get more manlier then that
If that's how it is I'd rather be a Fashion desginer, very femine, and alive.

[iris]

Show up at the recruitement drunk.Or gay. =DIt worked for Jimi Hendrix. :roll:

Show up in a dress. When they ask why you are wearing a dress, tell 'em "Because it's comfortable and make me look pretty".

They'll send you home.Ha! I dunno... fatigues are pretty comfy and girls look good in them.

whats wrong with the army? youll be made into a killing machine. doesnt get more manlier then thatIs that a joke? :ohwell:

[BartAllen]

I wonder... why aren't you a soldier then? Why haven't you gone "playing in the sandbox" yet?
wow a veiled insult from anarky. thanks man. I really wish you would just come out and say you dont like me. lol.
about my earlier post i was being sarcastic.

and theres a real easy way of not having to sign up if you dont want to. well. atleast here in america there is. when i talked to my recruiting officer. a lot of people claim religious beliefs wont allow them to go into the military.

and believe you me. i tried very hard to get into the marines.

and wouldnt you have to pass some sort of physical fitness test? just eat a lot of cheeseburgers before you have to sign up. or claim that you have incontenince issues.

[Kid Icarus]

Show up in a dress. When they ask why you are wearing a dress, tell 'em "Because it's comfortable and make me look pretty".God, that's one of my favorite quotes from Kurt. :lol: .

Sucks you're bein drafted... rocks that you pry won't have to serve.

Good luck.

[damnhooligan]

My condolences, dude. You could always apply for the Civilian Service though, on the grounds you object with serving in the military There's load of jobs far less objectionable than being cannon fodder., like working with customs or health care or whatnot. I'd be all over that sh*t.

[Voltron]

Good luck, Anarky. Knock'em dead.

...Maybe that's what you should do. Treat it like an audition for a play. Bring in some lines from old war movies and shout them at the officers.

[BartAllen]

My condolences, dude. You could always apply for the Civilian Service though, on the grounds you object with serving in the military There's load of jobs far less objectionable than being cannon fodder., like working with customs or health care or whatnot. I'd be all over that sh*t.
thats why i wanted to get into the marines. the benefits after your SHORT time of service are amazing.

[cyberfox007]

I hope this is no from of conscription

i have dual citizenship and in one of the countries i may have to get drafeted but i can come up some "valid reason" for which not to go to the army.

im definatly not for the military life (although tactical epionage looks nice)

sorry to hear that, any way out of it?

[Anarky]

Well, technically, I was born unsuitable, so I don't really have to worry there. It's just that they might get ideas and that they just might try something. There's office service you see and with my education, I'd be predestined for that. But I definitely won't do my military service, and that has moral reasons, not fear or anything, like BartAllen has suggested. It's just that I won't fight or be trained to fight for something I don't stand for. And no, I don't feel that I owe my country anything.

But... there's a thing between social service and the military called civil protection, which is probably what I'll end up doing. And I'll get a nice pair of boots when I do that (oh yeah, and a stupid jumpsuit). Now that is something I'm ready and willing to do.

[Blondus]

I think the military in norway's really confused..

You show up, answer randomly on the test, refuse to piss in a cup, and they'll go "Uh... Yea, well, here's a compass and a key ring. Thanks for flying military of Norway."

:lol:

[Mecha Cow]

I remember when I got drafted for the French army...I got out of it though, since I wasn't born there and my nationality had changed since.

Anyway, good luck with it man, you shouldn't have to join the military if you don't want to.

[Kid A]

That love-letter the army sent you sounds a lot like "Uncle Schmarrn wants YOU .." Well I hope they don't want guys like you too badly in the army. I heard that if you drink a lot of ice tea before the medical examination your body produces a certain substance in your urine they pretty dislike. Because it's unhealthy or something. I forgot.

Or choose social service like me. It sucks a lot. :D

This recruitement will be your first contact with the army.
They seem to expect it won't be the last.

[Anarky]

That love-letter the army sent you sounds a lot like "Uncle Schmarrn wants YOU .." Well I hope they don't want guys like you too badly in the army. I heard that if you drink a lot of ice tea before the medical examination your body produces a certain substance in your urine they pretty dislike. Because it's unhealthy or something. I forgot.

A love letter? Hahaha...

"Do you want to go with me?
[ ]Yes
[X]No
[ ]Maybe"

It's just like the old days. :D And if they want me to piss in a glass, they can wait for ages. I won't do it. I think I'll have fun with them.

They seem to expect it won't be the last.

Well, they can kiss my ass every year if they want until I'm 40. I mean, they can do whatever they want, as long as they leave me alone.

[Kid A]

The problem is that they will send you to prison if you don't cooperate. That's the worst thing.

And it would be:
"Do you want to go with me?
[ ]Yes
[ ]Maybe
[ ]Of course
[ ]Propably
[ ]Correct
[ ]I guess so
[ ]Super!
[ ]No, I prefer going to prison
[ ]No, I prefer doing all the suckalotic work no one else wants to do except of me because I don't like prison too much"

[Anarky]

Okay, tomorrow's the big day... and I'm so not looking forward to it. Sure, there's worse things that could happen, but I know that it's going to be dead boring. And I even have to dress like everybody else and all that. And I spent the whole day running after X-rays of my arm and medical reports of myself and all sorts of other assorted crap. And I gotta get up at 7am tomorrow... Ugh.

Anyways, wish me luck.

[damnhooligan]

Good luck, man. Bring a book to read while you wait. Preferably a steamy romance novel.

[Jed]

Good luck, hope you aren't good enough for the army!:P

[ThirdMarioBro]

Good luck Anarky, and do your darndest to fu*k with them because the army really is worthless.

[Peanut]

Don't worry, you're fat. You'll do just horribly.

[That Matt Guy]

Kill at least 10 people every day.

[Peanut]

Wait...aren't you Swiss? Why the f*ck do you even HAVE an army? Are you like the Canadian army? When a crisis arises we build sandbag forts and annoy people with our slingshots.

[That Matt Guy]

Those Canadians a pretty good shots with their muskets.

[Ra]

*blinks and looks at the Canadians behind her with their muskets* ...and I thought that they were peaceful...

Anyways, good luck Anarky (on not getting in of coarse ;) )

....what, do you actually think that we WANT you to get in? :o

[XERO]

I count at least 23,756 Canadian jokes since I've been on this Forum.:P

Good luck, Anarky.:)

[Anarky]

Here the annoying part begins. I got up an hour too early for no real reason. And when I realized that, I got angry and then I couldn't sleep anymore... yay!

Wait...aren't you Swiss? Why the f*ck do you even HAVE an army? Are you like the Canadian army? When a crisis arises we build sandbag forts and annoy people with our slingshots.

I've been asking myself the same question lately. I mean, nobody wants to attack the people who have everyone's money. You know, that's not just a cliché. However, they think that maybe the Fürstentum Liechtenstein will attack us soon, and those are some mean bitches over there... with their 100 soldiers and two tanks.

Kill at least 10 people every day.

That's a neat plan, but I think I'll stick with my initial plan, tagging all over the place. I have this idea of writing "The russians are coming!" somewhere... We'll see.
-------------------------
Okay, I'm back. My military career lasted for three whole hours (plus two minutes of debriefing). So I showed up there at 10am, and were sent to our barracks after giving our cellphones to the guy at the front desk. As we arrived, I started having a little fun and wanted to write something on the bathroom mirror, but I decided against it for some reason. We prepared our beds, the officer I dubbed "The troop's one braincell" showed up and led us to a big room where other funny looking people in uniforms were hanging and babbling useless junk. Then we got to hear a speech for an hour and three minutes (they said it would be an hour, so I made sure to check my watch every now and then) and then the real fun began. I was in group one, recruit number 118. As soon as I saw the schedule for group one, I knew that I was going home today because we had our medical checkup done first. I signed everything we could do volountarily, like blood tests (Hepatitis A-C and Meningitis and all other sorts of diseases) and getting an X-Ray taken of my chest and getting some shots. And the best thing about that was that it's all free. I almost pissed my pants thinking about me costing them at least 400 bucks and not playing in their team in the end. It was hilarious. So the examination began: Hearing: good, lungcapacity: good, blood pressure: good, heartrate: good.... and then my big moment came: Sight: worst thing ever. Hooray, I was off the hook and I could go home... after the doctor examined my crotch for some broken bones and making sure that everything is in its place. Great. So he did that, I got off, got free food after they took about a gallon of my blood and then I had to talk to the big doctor-chief-guy.

Not only am I unsuitable for military service, no, I'm also unsuitable for civil protection! Hahahahaha!!! So, here I am again, after having completed my military service.

[Duke]

Congratulations on sucking.

[zkarlette]

Well Im glad that at least you didn't get stuck with them:) Congrats

[Jed]

What's with the crotch checking for broken bones, I think if something down there was broken, you'd know about it...

[Fledermaus]

Yes! Now you can waste time more efficiently at the Drome!!:D

[Ra]

My military career lasted for three whole hours
:o Amazing. Truely amazing. The longest period of time in history and you survived with only minor brain damage :P
I could go home... after the doctor examined my crotch for some broken bones and making sure that everything is in its place
...o.....kay then.....
Not only am I unsuitable for military service, no, I'm also unsuitable for civil protection! Hahahahaha!!! So, here I am again, after having completed my military service.
:lol: Well, at least you don't have to worry about drafting for awhile then :P

Welcome back :D