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Panda_Kahn_fan
01-10-2016, 06:55 PM
All right, I've been waiting to try my own hand at a tmnt movie fanfic trilogy for years, and this is my take on a simple, streamlined origin story for the TMNT to start my writing off. I would like some opinions if you could, please? And please keep in mind that this is an outline, charter moments, character development, and good dialogue will come in the story itself.

Backstory

-Hamato Yoshi is a modern Japanese Ninja Practitioner, one of these guys who practices the ancient martial art to keep it alive. Coming from Iga Province and having an affinity for the martial arts, he began to study under one of the few masters of the nearly-dead art of ninjitsu; Master Mogo Masato, nicknamed 'oji-san' (the ancient one). There, he became friends with a fellow student named Oroku Saki, and both were learning the art in order to use it for stunt shows and reenactments.

-Both fell in love with the same woman, Tang Shen- a Chinese worker living in Japan on a temporary visa. Both tried to court her, but Yoshi won her heart. Shortly after they married, Saki snuck into their apartment and killed her, and a grief-stricken Yoshi decides to move to America. It isn’t until years later that yoshi learns the truth.

-Saki is from the Ashi (foot), a powerful yakuza family. In his enthusiasm for the martial arts, takes control of the foot clan, and remodels the crime family on a sengoku-era ninja clan. He combines modern weapons and tools with the weapons and techquines of the past. An army of Kevlar-armored mercenaries, armed with katanas and a sawed-off uzis.

-Having immigrated from Japan to New York teach ninjitsu to people in stunt work and the television and film industry, he is a good and honorable man with a good sense of ethics. After the death of his wife, Tang Shen, Yoshi decided to avert his loneliness by going to the pet store to buy a pet. While looking around at the various pets, Yoshi gets bit by a rat in a cage that manages to pierce his skin. Finally, he decides to buy four turtles, and leaves the shop with them in a glass bowl.

-But as he was leaving the pet store, a TCRI truck, careening out of control, lost a canister that was sent flying, and smashed all over Yoshi, and the four turtles in the open bowl he was carrying. Yoshi stumbled into an alleyway, dropping the bowl, as a startling metamorphosis took place. Finding himself with a new-found adopted family, Yoshi- now splinter- quietly cleans out his old apartment, and moves himself and his new family into an abandoned pumping station that connects to the sewers.

-Over the next fifteen years, Splinter raises his adopted children (filling the void left by his dead wife in his heart) teaches his four sons the art of ninjitsu- not only to defend themselves from a world that would never accept them, but also to defend themselves from the threats of the world above.

Panda_Kahn_fan
01-10-2016, 08:48 PM
First Film

-Fifteen Years later, reporter April 'O Neal is investigating a series of crimes, that indicate a Japanese criminal organization known as the foot is infiltrating New York. Wanting to silence the nosy reporter, criminal Daimyo the Shredder hires the street gang the purple dragons, to silence her. The Dragon's attack is defeated by four mysterious protectors who take out the entire gang, leaving only two goons on stage to flee. Upon seeing her protectors, April Promptly faints.

-They take her back to their lair, where Master Splinter tells the reporter their story. Believing there is a connection between the Oroku Saki in Yoshi's story and the Shredder who rules the underworld. She asks for the TMNT's help to investigate and take down the mysterious Foot Clan.

-April uses her reporter's skills to infiltrate a bogus security company that is a front for a foot clan operation. The turtles battle the foot soldiers inside, and literally bring down the whole building around them. Seeing his foot soldier easily defeated by these turtles, Shredder decides he must fight fire with fire.

-Shredder's goons place a tracker on April while she is at work, and use it to follow her back to the lair while the turtles are away. The lair is destroyed, master Splinter captured, and the original broken canister of ooze- which Splinter had kept all these years, and still has a little bit of ooze in it- is recovered by the foot.

-Offering the two Purple Dragon goons a chance for revenge, Shredder uses DNA samples from two powerful animals to turn the thugs into Rocksteady and Bebop. Donnie reverse engineers the damaged tracker taken off of April, the Turtles use it to trace the foot back to their hidden dojo. The turtles mow through the foot soldiers, then battle the rhino and warthog in an epic knock down, drag out fight that smashes up the whole place.

-April frees master Splinter, and he discovers that the Shredder is his old friend turned enemy, Oroku Saki. Shredder and Splinter fight as the turtles do battle with the two unstoppable mutants, and the battle finally brings the whole dojo complex down in one massive collapse. The turtles, Splinter, and April manage to escape, but their is no trace of Shredder or the mutant punks amidst the rubble and many foot solider corpses.

-April returns to her job, while the turtles begin searching for a new home. Splinter is finally able to put his past behind him, as the TMNT are ready to deal with any threat that may threaten their family or lives.

Tarris Vaal
01-11-2016, 04:22 AM
Seems a good start for the basis :)

It could do with some bulking up with details of how you intend to present the turtles themselves. At the moment, you've got the action section mapped out nicely, but there is little detail on the heroes or any drama between them.

To take a couple of examples:

90s movie had the Raph loner subplot
Nick has the Don/April relationship

These elements wind into and around the action so you have a combination of drama and action - and then as you say the comedy comes from within the script itself. It helps then to connect the viewers to the main characters and make them more invested in the action :)

Original TMNT Cartoon Fan
01-11-2016, 05:17 AM
[QUOTE=Tarris Vaal;1536833]

90s movie had the Raph loner subplot

/QUOTE]

Films don't need too much subplots based on one single of the turtles. They're too short for that! (unless there are four films, each for one turtle). Save that for the cartoons and comics instead.

Tarris Vaal
01-11-2016, 05:45 AM
I take that as an example only :) - but the heart of any TMNT iteration is the interactions within their family, so you want 'something' to go alongside the action as well. Else its just an action movie with mutants in it.

Panda_Kahn_fan
01-11-2016, 06:33 PM
Thanks for the input, guys! I do plan to give the turtles distinct personalities, and give subplot info to flesh them out. Moments like the elevator scene in the bay film, that's the kind of interaction I want to achieve. Some somewhat developed personalities for each character;

Leo; Team leader, Asian history buff obsessed with honor and spiritual discipline. Has the most affinity to all things mystical, extremely impassioned lover of the old ways, with just a touch of the mischievous in him. Would rather be a samurai than a ninja, and loathes the fact he and the other turtles cannot use their martial arts skills help everyone in need.

Don; Team techie, the gamer geek who builds the TMNT's gear, and does all the techie work around the lair. Always fascinated by new tech he encounters, and tries to get his brothers to take part in things like D2o rpg's and gaming. Has social anxiety issues and doesn't like talking to others in person much.

Raph; Hotheaded and sarcastic jerk who has anger issues, and wants to charge in first, and ask questions later. Slightly bigger and stronger than his brothers, he serves as the team's tank. A fan of extreme sports and action, he often clashes with leo's slower and more cautious approach. Would rather leave humans to solve their own problems, and only gets involved at his brothers' urging.

Mikey: Laid back dude who wants to have fun, he developed a surfer personality from watching old beach movies growing up. His brothers often dismiss him as a goofball, but he actually has a very caring and compassionate side- and a very big heart. Unlike other incarnations, however, this Mikey has a unique skill;his compassionate nature make him the teams medic. Much as Donnie acquired his tech skills, Mikey somehow self-taught himself basic medicine.

Etsyturtle2
01-11-2016, 06:45 PM
This is honestly really good. This has a nice ot feel with hints of other iterations. any scifi or space ideas?

MikeandRaph87
01-11-2016, 06:54 PM
Krang and Dimension X is coming in Part 3. Trust me, I got it straight from the source.

I like the idea of Mike knowing pharmesudicals. I played wi5h something similar in my fan fiction to give Mike expert areas and avoid being "the idiot of the group".

Panda_Kahn_fan
01-11-2016, 11:49 PM
I do have some ideas for sci-fi stuff. Anyway here's part 2:

Second Film

-The turtles bust up a gang of thugs who are robbing a bank in the Brooklyn area. They are aided by a mysterious masked vigilante who simply calls himself 'Casey'. Seeing the nutjob with the bats and hockey stick is far too violent with the lawbreakers' as he calls them, Raph tries to stop him but the two get into a fight, The turtle manages to defeat 'Casey', but a sucker punch knocks raph over, with the dirty harry-esque vigilante running off screaming into the night screaming 'the martians are coming!'

-April O' Neal is reporting on the billionaire inventor, Baxter Stockman, and his latest inventions, the robotic vermin catchers called mousers. Here we meet April's new Cameraman, the Sicilian-American Arnold Jones. April begins to suspect that the eccentric scientist is somehow behind a series of daytime robberies that has been plaguing the city. April goes to share her fears with the turtles, who are settling into their new lair in an abandoned subway terminal.

-Meanwhile, Splinter seems distracted, as if something far off was calling to him. The turtles head out into the sewers, where they find the mouser creatures chasing around and fighting with what seems like an army of rats. The robots turn on the rats as soon as they see them, and the turtles have to fight them off. After they trash the robots, the turtles and April decide it's time to pay Stocktronics a little visit.

-Raph, Donnie, and April go to investigate Stockman's laboratory.. and a patrolling vigilante notices them sneaking in. They find an army of hundreds of the little monsters prepped and ready to do some serious damage. Stockman finds the invaders, and decides he wants the mutants as specimens.The three fight off an endless swarm of the little monsters,even April grabs a blunt object and starts smashing the things.

-Baxter unleashes his biggest creation, the giant mouser! The turtles and are about to be overwhelmed, when the crazy vigilante jumps in and helps Raph smash the big mouser, before the massive mouser swarm attacks them again. While Casey and Raph manage to hold them off, April and Donnie Manage to rewire the mousers, and they devour the building as both Stockman and the turtles escape.

-Meanwhile, Splinter walks out of the lair as if in a trance. Leo and Mikey, who had stayed behind, follow him. They soon make their way to the old lair, where they find themselves surrounded by rodents of every shape, size, and description. Splinter suddenly attacks the two of them, and they are barely able to hold their mesmerized sensei off. Finally, they manage to bring him down... just as a mysterious figure in bandages appears. The figure reveals himself to be the rat king, a mysterious being who has the power to control rats.

-He reveals to the turtles that he is holding their sensei in his power, and will not release him unless the turtles fight a battle for him. It turns out this 'Rat King' was once a scientist named Victor Falco, who worked with Baxter Stockman and TCRI labs years ago. Victor always loved the little rodents that they ran through the mazes, while Stockman loathed them. An exposure to a strange green ooze in a lab fire gave him the ability to communicate with and control his beloved rats. While Stockman left TCRI, and when on to find a way to destroy rats with his mousers. Rat King forces the TMNT into an agreement to help fight his war against the scientist trying to destroy his subjects.

-April recognizes the vigilante who saved them as Arnold Jones, her new cameraman who she only sees during the day. Taking his mask off, she confronts him, and he admits to trying to fight evil like 'those superhero guys on TV' do. Seeing the former college athlete (who had previously mentioned wrestling and fencing among the sports he studied before dropping out of college) is a very capable fighter, the turtles ask him to join them in their battle. the two teams regroup, and get ready for the final battle. April goes to keep an eye on Splinter and the rat king at the old lair.

-The Turtles and Casey return to take Stockman down, who has threatened to have his mouser army (thousands of which are activated from their dormancy in warehouses around the city) eat the foundations out from under Manhattan if his ransom demands are not met. Donning a suit of fly-like mech armor -the buzzkill- Stockman engages the turtles in Battle beneath the city. Casey and the TMNT manage to take Stockman and his army down in an epic battle, Baxter devoured by his own creations after they register 'buzzkill' as vermin. The rat king is prepared to go back on his word and keep Splinter enslaved- until April's pleading helps the rat break free, and he takes down his mysterious captor once and for all.

-Casey and Raph go on a thug-busting run to celebrate their victory,while Donnie Wants to investigate the TCRI labs that produced the ooze that also made them. And as Master Splinter talk, the two wonder if this isn't only the beginning of their troubles...

Etsyturtle2
01-12-2016, 04:48 AM
Oh Casey. The Martians are coming. This is both awesome and hilarious. I pplaud you. You are a wizard. harry

Panda_Kahn_fan
01-18-2016, 11:50 AM
part 3

-While the TMNT are beating up some thugs in an alleyway, they spot a man being dragged away by a big brute in a trenchcoat. Upon trying to save the guy, they finds the brute's skin is as hard as rock. The victim is rescued, and the brute flees.

-April does report on homeless people disappearing throughout the city. Her investigations lead her to believe that TCRI, the company responsible for so many of the turtle's problems, are behind it. When she tries to interview the facility's director, Dr. Krang, he is friendly but elusive about the whole matter.

-The turtles investigate the TCRI building, and discover that it is the source of the stone warriors attacking people throughout the city. Mikey wanders off away from the others, and swears he sees a freaky-looking brain slither out of a vat, and into a mechanical body. Meanwhile, the turtles find a huge machine filled with enough of the ooze to mutate an entire city!

-Raph accidentally trips an alarm, and the tmnt find themselves fighting through a swarm of rock soldiers. They are captured by the stone men's two leaders, general Traag and Sgt. Granitor. Only Donnie manages to slip away, and accidentally activates a half-finished portal while trying to tamper with security.

-Three armored warriors with pointed ears come barreling through the portal, and free the turtles. The entire group escapes the facility. Returning with their new friends to the lair, the tmnt discover they are the Neutrinoes, freedom fighters from the Neutrino world of dimension X, who's culture is in the 1950's stage of development.

-Zak, Dask, and Kala reveal Krang was an invader to their world, who tried to enslave their people, until the resistance managed to banish him through a portal into our world. Realizing their mistake when they learned there were sentient beings on this side of the portal. the three resistance fighters were sent through to help humanity.

-Dask and Donnie bond over techno-geek stuff, while Leo befriends Zak over the responsibilities of leadership. Kala and Mikey, ummmm, bond in a different way. :lol: Raph just grumbles about 'damn beatnik hippies' and goes off to his room.

(Continued next post...)

Panda_Kahn_fan
01-19-2016, 12:38 AM
-Mikey tries to tell the others about what he saw, but nobody believes him except for Kala (the Neutrinoes believed krang had a body). Trying to prove himself to the others, Mikey tries to get into Krang's building by himself, and foolishly gets himself captured. Mikey is taken before Krang, who reveals his true form. Krang reveals he is an utrom, a reptilian race who created the ooze to evolve themselves into a race of highly intelligent brain-like creatures. Banished to this world with an ample supply of his race's lifeblood, he created TCRI and began to mutate the kidnapped homeless people into his stone army (At least the willing ones, the unwilling end up on the dissection table) in order to take over the planet. It was during a mass transport of the mutagen that a canister fell out of a truck by accident...

-Splinter chastises the group for how they treated Mikey. The TMNT and their new allies infiltrate TCRI, and fight their way past Traag and his troops. Kala rescues Mikey, while Donnie hacks into the computer system and learns Krang's true plan; to finish his portal back to dimension X, and transport his technodrome here to terraform the planet. The TMNT and neutrinoes try to stop the portal, but the TCRI building ls destroyed as the Technodrome arrives, and starts tearing up the city. Even Splinter joins in the final earth-shaking battle, and began fighting their way through the battle fortress. The TMNT battle Krang inside his giant robot body. Donnie and Dask rewire the 'drome's portal, and caused it to implode in on itself, killing Krang and the stone army.

-The tmnt say goodbye to their friends, who slip back though the collapsing portal before it closes for good. What was left of the Dimension X tech was destroyed, and Donnie can't replicate it- much to Mikey's sorrow. After apologizing to Mikey, the four celebrate with a major pizza and movie night, finally ending the trilogy.

Panda_Kahn_fan
01-19-2016, 09:53 PM
so, anyone intersted in seeing this become an actual fanfic? and should it get more than 3 parts?

MikeandRaph87
01-19-2016, 10:00 PM
so, anyone intersted in seeing this become an actual fanfic? and should it get more than 3 parts?

It is up to what you have creatively.If you think it has a satisfying conclusion then leave it be. If you feel there is more to tell thn tell it. You have an audience here.