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View Full Version : Greetings from Cracked! (And a question for the mods...)


Mxy
05-22-2016, 03:05 AM
Hey there! I'm Max Yezpitelok, a writer at Cracked and lifelong turtle enthusiast. I've written a couple of Cracked articles involving the TMNT before (not leaving the links so I don't look like a spambot, but you can find them easily enough), and I'm working on another one right now. The idea of my current article is: I'm gonna force myself to play every single official TMNT video game every published in a set period of time (a month? a week? haven't decided yet). And I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE, including Konami/Tiger handhelds, plug and plays, Nickelodeon browser games, and even Turtle Challenge.

I actually came here to start a thread in the Buying/Selling/Trading forum with the list of rare games I need to buy for the article, but it looks like I don't have permission to do that yet. I've definitely met the "account must be older than 7 days" requirement (turns out I registered in 2007 and never posted, for some reason), but I still need to make 20 posts to gain permission. The thing is, I don't wanna spam, and unfortunately I'm under a deadline, so I also can't wait for 20 posts to come about naturally.

So my question is: Is there any way I could bypass that rule and start a thread in the B/S/T forum? I promise I'm a real person!

Mew
05-22-2016, 06:28 AM
People here can visitor message or private message you if they want to let go of some games.

I have Nickelodeon TMNT for the Wii. I'm collecting TMNT games as well!

TheSkeletonMan939
05-22-2016, 06:57 AM
I remember noticing a few months back how your Cracked articles were pretty good. I have nothing to offer in the way of games or information, but I just wanted to say good luck and I expect nothing less than a splendillyriffic article from you! :trazz:

I've had a hard time enjoying Cracked lately so it's good to know I have something to look forward to from them and you. :)

Jester
05-22-2016, 09:30 AM
Sadly, that's all up to Krang, and he's a reclusive guy these days.

CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy
05-22-2016, 09:42 AM
Just go ahead and spam us, mate. We'll pretend to look the other way.

Besides, given the staggeringly immature* posts some of us make (you know who you are, creators of polls), we won't notice the difference.

*Go watch Wild Target right now.

Jester
05-22-2016, 09:50 AM
Heck, pimp your articles. I'm not sure I've read them...and maybe others missed them too.

Etsyturtle2
05-22-2016, 10:03 AM
Just go ahead and spam us, mate. We'll pretend to look the other way.

Besides, given the staggeringly immature* posts some of us make (you know who you are, creators of polls), we won't notice the difference.

*Go watch Wild Target right now.
Yeah, those poll makers are so bogus bro.

GK Punk
05-22-2016, 10:40 AM
I've got an idea but I want to run it by the other mods first.

Mew
05-22-2016, 12:39 PM
Yeah, those poll makers are so bogus bro.
I can agree. They should get off the 'Drome!

mrmaczaps
05-22-2016, 01:42 PM
Make a post here with a link to each of your articles so that will help you reach the 20 minimum needed and reply to comments as single posts...

I have a spare NES TMNT video game but sadly I don't know where it is or if it works...

Etsyturtle2
05-22-2016, 02:26 PM
I have nes Tmnt, too. It does work. I have no use for it anymore, either.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:26 PM
Make a post here with a link to each of your articles so that will help you reach the 20 minimum needed and reply to comments as single posts...

Heh, okay, I'll follow your advice!

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:29 PM
People here can visitor message or private message you if they want to let go of some games.

I have Nickelodeon TMNT for the Wii. I'm collecting TMNT games as well!

Hey, good luck with your collection!

I actually have all the console games already, between me and my co-writer for this article (Asher Cantrell) and friends of ours. I'm looking for harder to find stuff like the LCD handhelds of the 90s (I found all the Konami ones on eBay, no luck on the Tiger ones) and the plug and play games of the 00s.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:31 PM
I remember noticing a few months back how your Cracked articles were pretty good. I have nothing to offer in the way of games or information, but I just wanted to say good luck and I expect nothing less than a splendillyriffic article from you! :trazz:

I've had a hard time enjoying Cracked lately so it's good to know I have something to look forward to from them and you. :)

Thank you! I'll make sure to stop by here and let you guys know when the article is published (between me writing it and them laying it out and editing it, it could take a couple months).

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:32 PM
Sadly, that's all up to Krang, and he's a reclusive guy these days.

I rarely see him outside a suit, come to think of it.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:33 PM
Just go ahead and spam us, mate. We'll pretend to look the other way.

Like by replying to every post individually? I would never do such a thing!

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:44 PM
Heck, pimp your articles. I'm not sure I've read them...and maybe others missed them too.

If you insist!

The first one was a Christmas article about underwhelming action figures from otherwise cool series: http://www.cracked.com/article_19625_the-36-worst-action-figures-from-iconic-toy-lines.html Fun fact: this was gonna be called "20 TMNT Action Figures That Were Neither Mutants Nor Ninjas Nor Turtles" but they asked me to open it up to other franchises.

(Don't get me wrong, I got a lot of mileage out of my Pizzaface... but I still remember opening the present on my birthday, hoping to see Rocksteady or Bebop like I'd asked for, and seeing some ugly fat cook instead.)

The second was about characters you might not know live in the same universe: http://www.cracked.com/article_19323_6-movie-tv-universes-that-overlap-in-mind-blowing-ways_p2.html #1 is about the Daredevil/TMNT connection, which blew my mind when I found out about it since I'm a fan of both. I remember at the time they told me "No one's gonna know who Daredevil is", but the article did pretty well anyway.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:46 PM
Yeah, those poll makers are so bogus bro.

Someone should start a "Do polls suck or rule?" poll.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 02:49 PM
I have nes Tmnt, too. It does work. I have no use for it anymore, either.

For the article, I'm actually gonna play the DOS port of that game. I think it's interesting that it's literally unwinnable unless you glitch past a certain jump (I might pretend I didn't know that for comedic effect).

mrmaczaps
05-22-2016, 02:49 PM
Heh, okay, I'll follow your advice!

Look at that. Almost halfway there already!

MikeandRaph87
05-22-2016, 02:51 PM
You are already 45% of the way there. Just comment on something you find interesting around the vast selection of sections and sub-sections.

Who is your favorite turtle and is that turtle your favorite overall TMNT character. Also, what do you look for to inspire your parody ( I assume you try not to give it the finger but a playful nudge).

TheSkeletonMan939
05-22-2016, 03:28 PM
Thank you! I'll make sure to stop by here and let you guys know when the article is published (between me writing it and them laying it out and editing it, it could take a couple months).

Lookin' forward to it!

Can you do me a favor? When you get to TMNT Smash-Up, could you consider lampooning Ubisoft's decision to include not one, not two, but three Raving Rabbids as playable characters? :tlol:

Mxy
05-22-2016, 03:38 PM
Who is your favorite turtle and is that turtle your favorite overall TMNT character.

My childhood favorite was Leo (obviously). My favorite figure overall was Metalhead. I asked for "the robot turtle" for my 7th birthday I think, so in anticipation I created a "storyline" where my Don figure was trying to build a robot turtle out of my Legos but it kept breaking down (the idea was that he'd finally get it "right" when the Metalhead figure arrived). Then, of course, I opened the present and it was Fugitoid, so I had to wait until Christmas (my birthday's in February) to complete the storyline. It was worth it, though.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 03:41 PM
Also, what do you look for to inspire your parody ( I assume you try not to give it the finger but a playful nudge).

Nah, it won't really be a parody per se, more like a testimonial article where I'll document my "struggle" as I try get through the hard games, or the ones that just aren't very good, without going insane. It's gonna have a satirical tone but I think my love of the turtles will show through.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 03:42 PM
Lookin' forward to it!

Can you do me a favor? When you get to TMNT Smash-Up, could you consider lampooning Ubisoft's decision to include not one, not two, but three Raving Rabbids as playable characters? :tlol:

Really? Three Rabbids? In a TMNT game? That's insane. Yeah, I'll have to comment on that. On the upside, it's gonna feel good to punch those Rabbids.

MikeandRaph87
05-22-2016, 03:54 PM
Here is a screenshot full of disappointment:
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/tmnt/images/5/55/TMNT_Smash_Up_Full_Character_Selection.png/revision/latest?cb=20130922004212

A number of us fans felt lied to because it was advertised as a game celebrating TMNT history, but it turned out all it did was throw Fugitoid and a made up utrom into the TMNT (2007) film. Three rabbids in a game that has zero connection is the perfect example of shoehorning a company's product into something else. Never heard of rabbids before and while it made me aware of them it did not make me interested. Quite the opposite. We may have gotten the Technodrome as a part of the backdrop of one battle stage, but that was as close to celebrating the various versions.

Candy Kappa
05-22-2016, 03:59 PM
The worst enemy in Smash-Up is the struggling ability to turn your body...

TheSkeletonMan939
05-22-2016, 04:08 PM
A number of us fans felt lied to because it was advertised as a game celebrating TMNT history, but it turned out all it did was throw Fugitoid and a made up utrom into the TMNT (2007) film.

Technically the Utrom isn't made-up; the Utrominator made an appearance in 'Same As It Never Was' for two or three seconds at most. I wish I was joking.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 04:10 PM
A number of us fans felt lied to because it was advertised as a game celebrating TMNT history, but it turned out all it did was throw Fugitoid and a made up utrom into the TMNT (2007) film. Three rabbids in a game that has zero connection is the perfect example of shoehorning a company's product into something else. Never heard of rabbids before and while it made me aware of them it did not make me interested. Quite the opposite. We may have gotten the Technodrome as a part of the backdrop of one battle stage, but that was as close to celebrating the various versions.

That's baffling. There's like 80 mutants to choose from and they go with that? I'd take a Slam Dunkin' Don variant over a Rabbid anytime.

That reminds me, there was another article I did at Cracked that featured the Turtles: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-video-game-mashups-too-awesome-to-exist/ This one is about ideas for video game mashups, and one was a Skylanders-type TMNT game that I'd love to see. It would be the perfect opportunity to mine the TMNT history for playable characters. Come on, Activision!

Mxy
05-22-2016, 04:11 PM
The worst enemy in Smash-Up is the struggling ability to turn your body...

Oooh, I'm looking forward to this one.

MikeandRaph87
05-22-2016, 04:20 PM
One more note, TMNT IV: Turtles In Time, there are two versions. One is the Arcade version that has been released as a download and on TMNT III: Mutant Nightmare (2005). While it is good it is not nearly as good as the SNES port. The differences are in the bosses and a mini-level. Rat King (on a footski) is the third level boss in thee sewers while Slash is the 4th level boss in pre-historic times (Triassic era) instead of a mud monster. You will also note that Razhar and Tokka are moved from the Golden Age of Piracy (1700s') level 5 and are placed in the mini-level in the Technodrome between level 3 and 4 guarding Shredder. In their place at the end of level 5 are Bebop and Rocksteady dressed up like a pirate captain and first mate. This version I would bet is a number of people's favorite overall TMNT game.

Candy Kappa
05-22-2016, 04:25 PM
Not sure if it's available anymore, but Turtles in Time Re-Shelled could use a mention. It's sadly based off the Arcade version, but I thought it was a load of fun.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 04:35 PM
Interesting! I knew there were differences in the arcade version but didn't know what they were. Since I've played the SNES port a million times, for this experiment I'd already decided I'll be playing the arcade version and my co-writer will play the Re-Shelled one. Our idea is to play EVERY game, so whenever there are substantial version differences, we're gonna try to cover all of them. So for instance, on Tournament Fighters we're gonna play the SNES, NES and Genesis versions, because from what we've read they're different games.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 04:37 PM
By the way, if anyone's curious, here's the full list of games we'll be playing (assuming we can find all of them):

1. TMNT (NES/DOS) 1989
2. TMNT (II) (Arcade/NES) 1989
3. TMNT (handheld) 1989
4. TMNT II: Splinter Speaks (handheld) 1990
5. TMNT: World Tour (DOS) 1990
6. TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan (GB) 1990
7. Turtle Challenge (Video Challenger) 1990
8. TMNT: Manhattan Missions (DOS) 1991
9. TMNT: Turtles in Time (Arcade/SNES/XLA/PSN) 1991
10. TMNT II: Back from the Sewers (GB) 1991
11. TMNT III: The Manhattan Project (NES) 1991
12. TMNT II: Shredder's Last Stand (handheld) 1991
13. TMNT: Basketball (handheld) 1991
14. TMNT: Shredder Gets Shelled! (Watch) 1991
15. TMNT: The Hyperstone Heist (Genesis) 1992
16. TMNT III: Radical Rescue (GB) 1993
17. TMNT: Tournament Fighters (SNES/Genesis/NES) 1993
18. TMNT: Dimension X Assault (handheld) 1995
19. TMNT: The Next Mutation (handheld) 1997
20. TMNT (GC/XB/PS2/PC/GBA) 2003
21. TMNT 2: Battle Nexus (GC/XB/PS2/PC/GBA) 2004
22. TMNT 3: Mutant Nightmare (GC/XB/PS2/DS) 2005
23. TMNT: Mutant Melee (GC/PS2/XB/PC) 2005
24. TMNT Fast Forward: Ninja Training (mobile) 2005
25. TMNT: Battle for the City (plug) 2006
26. TMNT: Mutans and Monster Mayhem (plug) 2006
27. TMNT: Power of 4 (mobile) 2006
28. TMNT: Ninja Adventures Activity Centre (PC) 2007
29. TMNT (Wii/GC/360/PS2/PC/DS/PSP/GBA) 2007
30. TMNT: The Ninja Tribunal (mobile) 2009
31. TMNT: The Shredder Reborn (mobile) 2009
32. TMNT: Double Damage (browser) 2009
33. TMNT: Smash-Up (Wii/PS2) 2009
34. TMNT: Arcade Attack (DS) 2009
35. TMNT: Double Damage (browser) 2009
36. TMNT: Dark Horizon (browser) 2012
37. TMNT: Throw Back (browser) 2012
38. TMNT: Sewer Run (browser) 2012
39. TMNT: Ninja Turtle Tactics 3D (browser) 2012
40. TMNT: Rooftop Run (mobile) 2013
41. TMNT: Out of the Shadows (XLA/PSN/PC) 2013
42. TMNT (Wii/360/3DS) 2013
43. TMNT: Hero Portal (plug) 2014
44. TMNT: Training Lair (Kinect) 2014
45. TMNT (3DS/mobile) 2014
46. TMNT: Danger of the Ooze (360/PS3/3DS) 2014
47. TMNT: Battle Match (mobile) 2015
48. TMNT: Portal Power (mobile) 2016
49. TMNT: Mutants in Manhattan (360/One/PS3/PS4/PC) 2016

Did we miss any? The only thing I intentionally ignored were the Nick.com browser games where the TMNT are guest characters (like that Spongebob fighting game). We've got enough browser games as it is.

MikeandRaph87
05-22-2016, 04:42 PM
There is the Nick.com flash game that focuses on the 1987 Turtles facing Krang and the robotic foot soldiers as Krang attempts to blow up reality with a dimension disruptor.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 04:51 PM
Do you remember the name? It's not one of the ones listed? (Double Damage, Dark Horizon, Throw Back, Sewer Run and Ninja Turtle Tactics 3D). Also, whoops, just noticed I had Double Damage in there twice!

Mew
05-22-2016, 04:51 PM
Hey, good luck with your collection!

I actually have all the console games already, between me and my co-writer for this article (Asher Cantrell) and friends of ours. I'm looking for harder to find stuff like the LCD handhelds of the 90s (I found all the Konami ones on eBay, no luck on the Tiger ones) and the plug and play games of the 00s.

Thanks! For Plug N' Plays, I'd assume to look at eBay.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 04:54 PM
I was able to find one of those on eBay (Battle for the City, made by WayForward, which I'm actually looking forward to), but the other two are nowhere to be found.

Mxy
05-22-2016, 05:03 PM
UPDATE: I just checked Nick.com and holy crap, there are way more browser games than I thought! TMNTpedia failed me! I'll have to add them all...

MikeandRaph87
05-22-2016, 05:35 PM
Do you remember the name? It's not one of the ones listed? (Double Damage, Dark Horizon, Throw Back, Sewer Run and Ninja Turtle Tactics 3D). Also, whoops, just noticed I had Double Damage in there twice!

Kickin' It Old School.

mrmaczaps
05-22-2016, 05:54 PM
Congrats on being one post away from 20...

DarkFell
05-23-2016, 02:25 AM
I wonder how ol' Daniel O'Brien is doing nowadays..

Powder
05-23-2016, 02:31 AM
You should play the 2 Usagi Yojimbo games too, as an added bonus. :trazz:

sdp
05-23-2016, 12:52 PM
Well you kind of spammed your way to 20 posts by double posting but it's for a good cause so that's ok. Cracked is one of the few mainstream "geek culture" sites I like so that's cool.

Another smaller website already did a huge retrospective and played all the TMNT games up until that date and that wasn't long ago so this has already been done and it was very well researched. Another take on it is nice but I hope it's not just the same or worsebut on a more popular site. When's the Deadline? because a decent amount of time is needed to do a good article on so much content . As far as browser games I remember the 4K!ds website definitely had TMNT flash games based on the 2k3 show but those are long gone lost to time.

Good Luck.

Edit:I mean to be constructive with my comment.

Mxy
05-23-2016, 05:57 PM
Hey, look at that, I am at 20! Thanks for the help, everyone! I'm off to the Buying/Selling/Trading forum now.

sdp, do you remember what site that was? Every retrospective I've found sticks to console games, and even then they usually forget some. This (http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/tmnt/tmnt.htm) is the most complete list I've found (there's still stuff missing, though) and I'm using it as my main point of reference, but it's completely different from my article. The writer has definitely played all or most of the games, but not for the article or under a time limit, and it's written as an informative guide and not a humor article. I'm not sure what the deadline is yet... originally I thought they'd want it by the time the new movie comes out, but it's already too late for that.

Good tip on the 4Kids games! I hadn't thought of that. Even if they've been deleted from the site, they're probably still somewhere out there (the oldest Nick.com games expired too, but they've been rehosted by lots of other "free flash games" sites).

TheSkeletonMan939
05-23-2016, 06:03 PM
Master_Splinter (not that Master Splinter, but a member here :P) has a bunch of 4Kids games on his website (http://mutantooze.org/games/games.html).

Mxy
05-23-2016, 06:15 PM
That's exactly what I needed. Thanks!

Apparently it takes an hour for the B/S/T posting permission to be activated, so I'm just passing time now.

TheSkeletonMan939
05-23-2016, 06:20 PM
So, how'd you get started writing for Cracked?

Cure
05-23-2016, 07:06 PM
So, how'd you get started writing for Cracked?

Do you feel weird that we just had a back and forth about Cracked and now someone from that site is here? I do.

Also, welcome, homie.

Mxy
05-23-2016, 08:40 PM
So, how'd you get started writing for Cracked?

Back in 2009 I was out of college/unemployed and had a lot of free time, so I was gonna start a blog to write about comics or games or whatever (one of my ideas was "10 Worst List Articles on the Internet", because I was so tired of those damn lists sites). Then Cracked ran one of their yearly "hey come write for us" articles and I figured, if I'm gonna be writing about dumb stuff, I might as well get paid for it. I signed up and after months of pitching I got one article approved, then another right away. Then they asked me to come aboard as a freelance editor, and now I pay the rent with crack money. I mean Cracked. I don't mind lists sites so much anymore, for some reason.

Do you feel weird that we just had a back and forth about Cracked and now someone from that site is here? I do.

Also, welcome, homie.

Thanks! Heh, I was actually gonna leave a post in the Ghostbusters thread when I was trying to pad my post count, but I think it's kinda creepy/sad when people on social media are talking about something and that thing shows up and goes "actually..."


For anyone wondering, after some extensive Internet archeology (thank God for archive.org), here's a list of every official TMNT browser game ever posted on 4kids.tv and Nick.com:

47. TMNT: Shred Head (browser) 2005
48. TMNT: Sewer Surf Showdown (browser) 2005
49. TMNT: Ninja Stars (browser) 2005
50. TMNT: Foot Clan Street Brawl (browser) 2006
51. TMNT: Turtling 2006 Snow Boarding (browser) 2006
52. TMNT: Mouser Mayhem (browser) 2006
53. TMNT: Shell Smash (browser) 2006
54. TMNT: Foot Clan Street Brawl 2 (browser) 2007
55. TMNT: Gunjin Meteors (browser) 2008
56. TMNT Battle Nexus: Castle Defender (browser) 2008
57. TMNT: Race to the Sewer (browser) 2008
58. TMNT: Ninja Mind Dojo Kensei (browser) 2008
59. TMNT: Shuffle Puzzle (browser) 2008
60. TMNT: Shuffle Puzzle 2 (browser) 2008
61. TMNT: Double Damage (browser) 2009
62. TMNT: Dark Horizon (browser) 2012
63. TMNT: Throw Back (browser) 2012
64. TMNT: Sewer Run (browser) 2012
65. TMNT: Ninja Turtle Tactics 3D (browser) 2012
66. TMNT: Mouser Mayhem (again) (browser) 2012
67. TMNT: Turtleportation (browser) 2013
68. TMNT: Mutation Station (browser) 2013
69. TMNT: Donnie Saves a Princess (browser) 2013
70. TMNT: Heist in a Half Shell (browser) 2013
71. TMNT: Trick or Treat Tussle (browser) 2013
72. TMNT: The Final Slice (browser) 2014
73. TMNT: Skewer in the Sewer (browser) 2014
74. TMNT: Booyakasha Blitz (browser) 2014
75. TMNT: Shadow Heroes (browser) 2014
76. TMNT: Mikey's Day Off (browser) 2015
77. TMNT: Battle for NY (browser) 2015
78. TMNT: Collect and Conquer (browser) 2015
79. TMNT: Casey Jones versus Evil Robot Ninjas (browser) 2015
80. TMNT: Pizza Like a Turtle Do (browser) 2015
81. TMNT: Comic Book Combat (browser) 2015
82. TMNT: Blast to the Past (browser) 2015
83. TMNT: Ninja Hack Attack (browser) 2015
84. TMNT vs. Power Rangers: Ultimate Hero Clash (browser) 2016
85. TMNT: Deep Space April (browser) 2016
86. TMNT: Mech (browser) 2016
87. TMNT: Kicking it Old School (browser) 2016
88. TMNT: Turtles in Space (browser) 2016

Pray for me.

Netkeeper
05-24-2016, 09:10 AM
At the risk of sounding very Tumblrina, I'm gonna say this thread is so pure and wholesome.

Anyway, you're nuts for going through all those browser games. I love it.