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View Full Version : NK Seeking Help


Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 12:27 PM
I'm doing it so i can finally be dead.

plastroncafe
07-25-2016, 12:33 PM
Breathe, friend.
Just breathe.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 12:37 PM
that's the PROBLEM i won't STOP breathing.all of this could beover in 2 minutes if i could.

plastroncafe
07-25-2016, 12:41 PM
Did you ever get online contact information for your support team?
Because if you have, you should use it today.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 12:45 PM
Did you ever get online contact information for your support team?
Because if you have, you should use it today.
it doesnt matter because they cant help me every time i go in there i tell them EXACTLY what the problem is and EXACTLY what i need and everyone just shoves their heads up their asses and shrugs.

CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy
07-25-2016, 12:45 PM
Net, calm down. Other people aren't your problem.

Talk to someone and take some deep breaths.

Etsyturtle2
07-25-2016, 12:48 PM
What is this thread?

snake
07-25-2016, 12:49 PM
Calm down dude

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 12:50 PM
it doesnt matter if i talk to someone, all that will do is remind me that i cant tell the public what my problem is at absolutely any cost, and the peope i tell privately cant do anything eiother. ****ing nobody can.

thundermaster612
07-25-2016, 12:52 PM
Wait so NK, are you talking about self harm or just killing people then self harm or just killing people?

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 12:53 PM
oh i just want to be dead.

snake
07-25-2016, 12:57 PM
I know you're having an episode right now and getting anything through to you is near impossible, but nothing is gonna change unless you make it change. Get help. Serious help.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:00 PM
I know you're having an episode right now and getting anything through to you is near impossible, but nothing is gonna change unless you make it change. Get help. Serious help.
it doesnt matter because NOBODY wants to help me. and everyone that says they do is probably lying because otehrwise i would have gotten this ****ing help already, i have been shuffled from doctor to fuycking doctor and doctors have quit their jobs all probably because they dont want to help me and they just want me to suffer and they probably hope i'll bite tyhe bullet pretty soon so they can stop being fake people. unless they enjoy being fake people like hellary clearly does.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:01 PM
my first case manager person i think si the word, she was super nice to me and said she realluy enjoyed having me around and would ****ing drive me to a place to get what i needed her ****ing self

next week i come in, i'm told she's on vacation for three weeks.

i come in three weeks later, i'm told she doesn't work here any more.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:02 PM
they dont want to help me.

none of tehm do.

they will lie then resport to extremems to keep themselves from having to dedicate to that lie.

Etsyturtle2
07-25-2016, 01:05 PM
I think you're pretty mad and I feel bad for you

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:06 PM
i just want help and to live an actual goddamn life.

but everyone wants me to eventually kill myself, otherweise people wopuldnt do these thingd to me.

Etsyturtle2
07-25-2016, 01:08 PM
Dont kys.

What's wrong that you ned help with anyway?

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:09 PM
i can't say. if i said it, i'd get treated even worse.

plastroncafe
07-25-2016, 01:23 PM
It sucks how much trial and error there is in life, but...that's how it works.
Just because something hasn't worked for you doesn't mean EVERYTHING won't.

Breathe.
This will pass.

Tell yourself. Say it outloud.
Your brain is lying when it says no one can help.
It's lying when it says no one wants to help.
It's lying when it says this isn't temporary.

The Deadman
07-25-2016, 01:24 PM
but everyone wants me to eventually kill myself, otherweise people wopuldnt do these thingd to me.

Nobody wants you to kill yourself.

Etsyturtle2
07-25-2016, 01:26 PM
I want you to stay not dead netkeeper.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:32 PM
It sucks how much trial and error there is in life, but...that's how it works.
Just because something hasn't worked for you doesn't mean EVERYTHING won't.

Breathe.
This will pass.

Tell yourself. Say it outloud.
Your brain is lying when it says no one can help.
It's lying when it says no one wants to help.
It's lying when it says this isn't temporary.
i literally cant afford to tell myself that. myself is the only one i can trust because everyone else is fake, lies, and only acts in their own best interest. if someone says they want to keep me alive its probably because i provide something for them, almost certainly amusement because i am an incapable mess. or because they actively wish to prolong my suffering.

DarthRaphael
07-25-2016, 01:39 PM
Not sure if trolling, or you actually need help.

Anyway, I changed the thread title. Any more talk about killing people or yourself and the thread disappears.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:43 PM
and then i get called a troll despite having this condition my whole life.

see how nice people are to me?

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:43 PM
oh wait youre in NC you probably want all of my kind dead

DarthRaphael
07-25-2016, 01:47 PM
I don't know you personally, so how do you expect me or anyone else to know if you are serious or not.

What about NC makes you think that I would want anyone dead.

What kind of help do you need.

The Deadman
07-25-2016, 01:48 PM
oh wait youre in NC you probably want all of my kind dead

Focus on the people that are trying to help you instead of the one who wasn't sure if this was legit or not.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 01:56 PM
if youre not sure what about NC is so despicable then you havent been keeping up and if you live in NC i have no idea how you could be unaware. there's a reason it should be wiped off the map.

and no, this is the perfect demonstration of how people treat me, let him treat me like ****. he'll just show everyone exactly what i experience. exactly what i'm talking about.

it REALLY says something when someone is very clearly suffering and others are talking to him but he STILL doesnt know if legit. this is what people are like. this is what they actually do. every single one of them.

DarthRaphael
07-25-2016, 01:58 PM
So are you saying you are someone that would be affected by NC HB2?

plastroncafe
07-25-2016, 02:01 PM
i literally cant afford to tell myself that. myself is the only one i can trust because everyone else is fake, lies, and only acts in their own best interest. if someone says they want to keep me alive its probably because i provide something for them, almost certainly amusement because i am an incapable mess. or because they actively wish to prolong my suffering.

If you didn't want help, you wouldn't be here.
You know your brain is lying to you.
Don't listen.
Breathe.

What you're feeling right now is going to pass.
It's temporary.

DarthRaphael
07-25-2016, 02:05 PM
Alright NK. You have some friends here that let me know that you are legit.

Let us know what we can do to help.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 02:07 PM
So are you saying you are someone that would be affected by NC HB2?
huh, well my profile DOES say i'm gay, doesn't it? in fact it's the first word present.

If you didn't want help, you wouldn't be here.
You know your brain is lying to you.
Don't listen.
Breathe.

What you're feeling right now is going to pass.
It's temporary.
except i feel like this all the time. that i can't trust anyone.

i want to. but not a single soul has proven they can be trusted. i'm 25 ****ing years old now. i've known CHILDREN that could get what they needed but i couldn't. this means i am not worth saving, to everyone.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 02:09 PM
Alright NK. You have some friends here that let me know that you are legit.

Let us know what we can do to help.
and you took their word over mine because the mentally ill can't be trusted, right? or is it the gays that can't be trusted?

plastroncafe
07-25-2016, 02:15 PM
huh, well my profile DOES say i'm gay, doesn't it? in fact it's the first word present.


except i feel like this all the time. that i can't trust anyone.

i want to. but not a single soul has proven they can be trusted. i'm 25 ****ing years old now. i've known CHILDREN that could get what they needed but i couldn't. this means i am not worth saving, to everyone.

You're not a child.
You're an adult.
It's time to act like an adult, and ask for help when you need it.
And to actually listen to help when it's given.


and you took their word over mine because the mentally ill can't be trusted, right? or is it the gays that can't be trusted?

Stop it.
Stop that right now.
You're looking for help, don't be a douche to people when you're looking for help.

Etsyturtle2
07-25-2016, 02:17 PM
Just because you live in ****ed up place doesn't mean you are ****ed up.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 02:47 PM
You're not a child.
You're an adult.
It's time to act like an adult, and ask for help when you need it.
And to actually listen to help when it's given.
but i've said it a dozen times. every time i walk in to see somebody, i tell them what my condition is and what needs to be done about it. every single goddamn time i just get "well i can't help you with that". my [new] psychiatrist made a ****ing joke about it and said "is there anything else i can /not/ help you with". to me. he said that to me. when every day i want to die.

i need help, i know what the precise problem is, and i know what can be done about it, but every single professional i've ever seen has told me they don't know how to get that for me. even my online friends that have the exact same condition don't help me. when they themselves already have it. the thing i need. they have it, they love posting about how good it makes them feel on social media, it makes me ****ing cry, and still i get no help

no help at all from people that were supposed to be my friends

Stop it.
Stop that right now.
You're looking for help, don't be a douche to people when you're looking for help.
okay, i will admit i'm really sorry for getting like that. i had to go get my emergency stash [that i'd only just acquired yesterday...] to calm my ass down once everyone left the house. now i realise i'm being so irritable when people are saying they want to help.

i hope this isn't why this keeps happening to me. i'm so sorry.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 02:48 PM
god damn though why do i sound like an insincere like lawyer or something whenever i just try to apologise, i swear to god it isn't sarcasm, mockery, or anything i'm just so bad at apologising and it makes me so anxious

Cure
07-25-2016, 03:33 PM
I hope you get the help you need. All I can really do.

Mew
07-25-2016, 04:21 PM
Look, Netkeeper. I don't want you dead. No one here does. But you cannot be like this. In order to get help, you need to be open to help. What makes you happy? Listening to music? Drawing? Watching anime? If something makes you happy keep your mind focused on that. Say if you like watching anime, or anything for that matter, watch it until your eyes fall out! Of course that was a idiom, but you should get the picture.

Have you tried any forms of meditation? I've read up on this and it can release stress. Hell, even listening to calming music to put you to sleep is meditation. You don't have to do that extreme crap you see in TV where you float up in the air like that one Street Fighter character.


Please, don't kill yourself, harm yourself, or harm anything. I will not go into detail but someone very close to me was having issues, too. That person got help, not by therapy, and is now way better. Write your thoughts down, Scream all you need to, please, don't kill yourself. I know you may take this with a grain of salt, but just please don't kill yourself.

CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy
07-25-2016, 04:25 PM
Look, Netkeeper. I don't want you dead. No one here does. But you cannot be like this. In order to get help, you need to be open to help. What makes you happy? Listening to music? Drawing? Watching anime? If something makes you happy keep your mind focused on that. Say if you like watching anime, or anything for that matter, watch it until your eyes fall out! Of course that was a idiom, but you should get the picture.

Have you tried any forms of meditation? I've read up on this and it can release stress. Hell, even listening to calming music to put you to sleep is meditation. You don't have to do that extreme crap you see in TV where you float up in the air like that one Street Fighter character.


Please, don't kill yourself, harm yourself, or harm anything. I will not go into detail but someone very close to me was having issues, too. That person got help, not by therapy, and is now way better. Write your thoughts down, Scream all you need to, please, don't kill yourself. I know you may take this with a grain of salt, but just please don't kill yourself.

Well damn. :tlol: Words of wisdom from Mew... miracles do happen. :twink:

Mew
07-25-2016, 04:28 PM
Well damn. :tlol: Words of wisdom from Mew... miracles do happen. :twink:
Thank you. I honestly didn't know I could be so wise. Maybe I'm secretly Splinter.

CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy
07-25-2016, 04:32 PM
Thank you. I honestly didn't know I could be so wise. Maybe I'm secretly Splinter.

Don't ruin the moment, kiddo.

Commenter 42
07-25-2016, 04:36 PM
Thank you. I honestly didn't know I could be so wise. Maybe I'm secretly Splinter.

You're my favorite. Etsy is a close second.

@NK - do they have you on anything right now? What's happening?

TheSkeletonMan939
07-25-2016, 04:38 PM
Thank you. I honestly didn't know I could be so wise. Maybe I'm secretly Splinter.

You're my favorite. Etsy is a close second.

I know we all like to go off on tangents here, but this is one thread where that isn't acceptable.

Commenter 42
07-25-2016, 04:40 PM
I know we all like to go off on tangents here, but this is one thread where that isn't acceptable.

Relax.. I was getting there. NK is still the focus. Don't backseat mod.
Mew 's trying to help. NK will ride this out, and be better.

He just needs to know we're around.

Katie
07-25-2016, 05:21 PM
I'm going to make an educated guess that you are looking for medical marijuana. You can't get mad and frustrated with doctors who can't provide that when it isn't legal where you live. They'd be risking their jobs and families. There's always two sides to what is going on.

I know it sucks, but if it isn't legal they can't just make it happen. Your choices then are the illegal route, moving where is legal, or searching for an alternative therapy.

I wish you good luck in whatever you decide.

Powder
07-25-2016, 05:27 PM
You're my favorite. Etsy is a close second.


Don't be a contrarian champion of sh*tposters. You call other people out for doing that with Bayturtles, yet here you are trying to validate negative contributions.

Stop encouraging them, especially not in a thread where somebody is supposedly desperately seeking consolation or whatever over emotional distress.

Commenter 42
07-25-2016, 06:07 PM
Don't be a contrarian champion of sh*tposters. You call other people out for doing that with Bayturtles, yet here you are trying to validate negative contributions.

Stop encouraging them, especially not in a thread where somebody is supposedly desperately seeking consolation or whatever over emotional distress.

Whoa! I'm not man. I thought Mew was being sincere. I've had a private chat with NK, I know what's going on. I know it's bigger than just "breathing".

I have sympathy for his situation. Wasn't being a dick.

@ Katie - This isn't about weed, as far as I'm aware that is.

Mew
07-25-2016, 06:24 PM
Don't be a contrarian champion of sh*tposters. You call other people out for doing that with Bayturtles, yet here you are trying to validate negative contributions.

Stop encouraging them, especially not in a thread where somebody is supposedly desperately seeking consolation or whatever over emotional distress.
I just tried to help here...
I'd suggest not to go off on a tangent, though, as TheSkeletonMan939 said. :)

Raven
07-25-2016, 06:31 PM
Hey Netkeeper, if you need anything were here. Note sure whats going on but hope it gets worked out.

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 07:42 PM
I'm going to make an educated guess that you are looking for medical marijuana.
No, that isn;t it.

Commenter 42
07-25-2016, 07:47 PM
No, that isn;t it.

Are you feeling better now? Hope things improved in the last little bit.

Mew
07-25-2016, 08:08 PM
You okay Netkeeper? Have you calmed down? Did you try anything I suggested?

Netkeeper
07-25-2016, 08:24 PM
I've taken a nap andhad something to eat, but idk what I feel like.

DarkFell
07-25-2016, 10:36 PM
I will admit that I really don't know much about clinical depression, but I do know that a lot of negative feelings are often fickle and weird.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day for you.

If you are able to seek a good mentor within a family member, then that could be a good start.

plastroncafe
07-26-2016, 07:08 AM
I've taken a nap andhad something to eat, but idk what I feel like.

Naps are magic that way.
Glad to hear you're still with us.

GoldMutant
07-26-2016, 09:46 PM
Said my piece in the Despair Faction as I feel there are things that should be respected. Regardless, I hope things have simmered down Net and you're doing better. :) Just keep fighting and remember, "The only time a lawyer (or here, person) can cry... is when it's all over."

Netkeeper
07-27-2016, 12:53 PM
There's a jab at my blindness in there somewhere Gold, I just know it. :lol: I'm onto you!

Things have simmered down for the most part but I keep getting attacked by massive headaches, violent nightmares, and other such ********. This morning my nightmare appeared to just be build-up to the most painful headache I've ever had.

Ninjinister
07-27-2016, 01:03 PM
This isn't about North Korea?

Netkeeper
07-27-2016, 03:11 PM
I didn't choose what the thread got renamed to, exactly. :V

Ninjinister
07-28-2016, 03:15 AM
I didn't choose what the thread got renamed to, exactly. :V

Didn't realize it had a different one at any point.

In any case, as one of the previously deceased, I can tell you you don't wanna be part of the permanent crowd. It's literally the worst thing ever.