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Cure
10-04-2017, 05:38 PM
**** was scary back in the day, but these are fun conversations to have now that people can look back and laugh. What did your parents do to punish you guys?

My mother would throw dry rice on the floor and make me kneel on it for hours on end. After a while the little grains would cut into the skin and leave scars and ish. And another time my mother got so angry that she ripped out the little rod thing to open and close the blinds and whipped me with it. Good times.

Oh, and being Latino, I am quite familiar with la chancla.

What about you guys?

Andrew NDB
10-04-2017, 05:39 PM
Spanking. By my mom if it was something relatively minor. By my dad if I was really bad. Belt reserved for extreme bad behavior.

plastroncafe
10-04-2017, 07:23 PM
I'm from New England and was raised Catholic, all punishment was emotional in nature.

Of course the fact that I was a good kid who never really got into trouble probably helped.

TurtleWA
10-04-2017, 08:52 PM
I was spanked.

However I don't use the same approach with my child. It was a very ineffective way to modify my behavior and show consequences for my actions. I do approve of some of my parents decisions in raising me but this is not one.

Do the others that have posted approve of the way they were punished? Would you use the same methods with your child? Or do you already use the same as your parents?

Katie
10-04-2017, 09:32 PM
“Go pick your switch”

As a kid, you think maybe a long skinny stick is best, but that felt like a whip. Then next time, you maybe pick a thicker one, but that leaves bruises and welps.

Then you just do your damnedest to never get caught.

MsMarvelDuckie
10-04-2017, 09:48 PM
Spanking or standing in a corner. My mom usually sent me to my room. Step-dud was the real disciplinarian- but he is a douchebag with a short and overactive temper and frequently got out of hand with his "punishment". At times he even punished me for no real reason at all except that he had a bad day and I got on his nerves somehow. He is a prick, and a lot of what he called "punishment" would certainly be considered abuse. Mom was always more understanding; I think the fact that I was basically a good kid kept me from having to deal with his idea of correction too much.

CyberCubed
10-04-2017, 09:49 PM
There is some disturbing stuff being posted in this thread. As for me, nothing more than a quick slap in the back or top of the head...and that was about it.

The rest of you sound like you may have been abused and not even realize it. I realize for those of you who are 30-40 years old this is dating back decades to the 80's (or 70's?), but if this happened in the modern year it would not be tolerated if it were reported.

Andrew NDB
10-04-2017, 09:57 PM
Of course the fact that I was a good kid who never really got into trouble probably helped.

I don't buy that.

And after I was like 11 or so punishment was just "Your video games are gone for a month!"

MsMarvelDuckie
10-04-2017, 10:05 PM
There is some disturbing stuff being posted in this thread. As for me, nothing more than a quick slap in the back or top of the head...and that was about it.

The rest of you sound like you may have been abused and not even realize it. I realize for those of you who are 30-40 years old this is dating back decades to the 80's (or 70's?), but if this happened in the modern year it would not be tolerated if it were reported.


Oh believe me I realized a LONG time ago what it was he was doing. And the s**t I mentioned is just what I'm willing to discuss publicly. I've said before what a turd of a human being he is and I will say it again. Belts were used frequently when he was the one disciplining me, even for relatively minor crap. The corner or grounding to my room were mom's usual mode. But she knew I'd just go sit and read in there for the duration. So it kept me out of trouble and I became a good reader- win-win as far as she was concerned.

DestronMirage22
10-04-2017, 10:13 PM
Oh, and being Latino, I am quite familiar with la chancla.


Oy, tell me about it.

Both the dreaded chancla and the cinto were the tools my mother used to punish me whenever I misbehaved or did something wrong. And whenever she didn’t have either (or maybe she was just in the mood for it) she’d resort to just spanking me like crazy.

But I didn’t make it easy for her. If she was gonna whup my ass anyways, she was gonna have to catch me first. :lol:

She’s always been an angry person, and I think at times she used those punishments as a means of venting that anger and getting rid of her stress.

Looking back at it, I can kind of appreciate being punished like that. It would’ve been impossible for her to discipline me any other way (as her parents did the same with her and that’s all she had known), and I would’ve ended up soft and a different person if she had done otherwise.

If I ever have any kids (right, like that’ll happen) I obviously wouldn’t do the same to them. I’d try my best to be loving and I’d never raise my hand to them. If I were to punish them, I’d go for something more psychological, like taking away their toys or not letting them watch tv, and then I’d explain why what they did was wrong and teach them not to do it again with kindness and words.


Edit:
Damn, maybe I did end up soft.
That last paragraph sounds so lame.

Andrew NDB
10-04-2017, 11:01 PM
There is some disturbing stuff being posted in this thread. As for me, nothing more than a quick slap in the back or top of the head...and that was about it.

The rest of you sound like you may have been abused and not even realize it. I realize for those of you who are 30-40 years old this is dating back decades to the 80's (or 70's?), but if this happened in the modern year it would not be tolerated if it were reported.

Pffft.

I spank my kid but the times I've actually ever had to do that are less than double digits, and she's almost 10. I can't fathom going as far as a belt but I don't disagree with its use at the time.

I even caught the end of physical punishment in school. It must have been kindergarten or into 1st grade... if you misbehave, the teacher has you walk up to the front of the class and she smacks your hand/wrist pretty hard with a ruler.

I don't necessarily think that's something that ever should have been gravitated away from.

CyberCubed
10-04-2017, 11:30 PM
If teachers dare to hit or abuse the kids in school now and it's found out about, they get fired and possibly face jail time based on the severity of it. I do remember when I was in 1st grade this one kid in the class always caused trouble and the teacher would sometimes pull him by the ear. Such a thing would never fly nowadays in the modern year.

It's kind of funny that we all remember this too. This all happened when we were kids but a lot of this stuff just stayed lodged into our memories for 20+ years.

TurtleWA
10-04-2017, 11:44 PM
If teachers dare to hit or abuse the kids in school now and it's found out about, they get fired and possibly face jail time based on the severity of it.

"A recent investigation by Education Week shows that in the 2013-2014 school year, about 110,000 students were physically punished nationwide. That's in part because in some states, including Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas and Texas, tens of thousands of students are paddled every year."

http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2017/04/12/521944429/where-corporal-punishment-is-still-used-its-roots-go-deep

CyberCubed
10-05-2017, 12:10 AM
And all those states are either southern or mid-western states. They're a little behind on modern times.

Candy Kappa
10-05-2017, 03:05 AM
holy **** you guys...

I've not been physically abused by my parents for misbehaving. My mom would put restrictions on video games, toys or TV time, only one time did she ground me and I managed to negotiate myself out of it. Usually she stalked to me instead of hitting me...

My dad did loose his temper and slap my second youngest brother once, and child protective services got involved and they had to go in family therapy.

MsMarvelDuckie
10-05-2017, 04:34 AM
Just a slap? Geez I WISH that was all I ever got. That's not enough to call CPS on here- or at least it wasn't when I was a kid. Might be now if seen by sone uptight ultra-left bleeding heart. But the stuff my step-dad did went beyond just spanking- which I DO sort of believe un as long as the parent doesn't go too far- and yes it WAS abusive. But he also is abusive in general, and not just to me.

ssjup81
10-05-2017, 04:49 AM
Under the age of ten, I was usually punished by going to bed early, no tv, and not being able to play outside. If I kept doing whatever it was I was doing wrong after being punished a few times, then I would get spanked. I guess like a three strikes and you're out type thing. Either way, it was rare I was spanked.

In my teens, I usually had my games taken away and forced to go to bed early, no tv or talking on the phone...If teachers dare to hit or abuse the kids in school now and it's found out about, they get fired and possibly face jail time based on the severity of it. I do remember when I was in 1st grade this one kid in the class always caused trouble and the teacher would sometimes pull him by the ear. Such a thing would never fly nowadays in the modern year.

It's kind of funny that we all remember this too. This all happened when we were kids but a lot of this stuff just stayed lodged into our memories for 20+ years.As far as I know, states like North Carolina can still legally spank kids in schools.

Prowler
10-05-2017, 05:26 AM
The only time I've been slapped was when I was a little kid. And by slapped I don't mean with a backhand or anything of the sort. But being slapped on my hand whenever I did something wrong.

I usually was sent to bed early or was forced to study or something as a punishment.

I was never that much of a troublemaker anyway. At school, whenever I got into fights, I usually just reacted in self-defence. And whenever my mom yelled at me or talked to I'd get the point across.

If teachers dare to hit or abuse the kids in school now and it's found out about, they get fired and possibly face jail time based on the severity of it. I do remember when I was in 1st grade this one kid in the class always caused trouble and the teacher would sometimes pull him by the ear. Such a thing would never fly nowadays in the modern year.

It's kind of funny that we all remember this too. This all happened when we were kids but a lot of this stuff just stayed lodged into our memories for 20+ years.
Never saw a teacher of mine hitting a student. If a teacher did that here he'd never be allowed to teach again.

Andrew NDB
10-05-2017, 09:50 AM
I've not been physically abused by my parents for misbehaving.

I don't think anyone in this thread has been saying they were, either.

plastroncafe
10-05-2017, 10:30 AM
Really?
Reread the thread.

Prowler
10-05-2017, 11:09 AM
Really?
Reread the thread.
Maybe they just grew up thinking it was normal and never saw it as abuse.

MsMarvelDuckie
10-05-2017, 04:46 PM
If anyone is referring to me, then no. I knew from probably around 6 or 7 that it was wrong and not "normal". Never saw any of my friends' parents do any of the things he did. I just didn't really have the ability to do much about it. Long story but when I was 8 some stuff happened that caused several months of family and individual counseling. It got better for a couple of years but eventually things went right back the way they were before. Thing is he never showed his "true colors" where anyone could see- including my mom. Nothing anyone could do without proof and/or witnesses. He was the type to not leave marks or to let anyone see or hear him lose his sh*t. But I DID get some paybacks a few times. Learned to be VERY good at kicking "that spot" and then disappearing for a couple of hours before he could get back up....

Andrew NDB
10-05-2017, 04:55 PM
If anyone is referring to me, then no. I knew from probably around 6 or 7 that it was wrong and not "normal". Never saw any of my friends' parents do any of the things he did. I just didn't really have the ability to do much about it. Long story but when I was 8 some stuff happened that caused several months of family and individual counseling. It got better for a couple of years but eventually things went right back the way they were before. Thing is he never showed his "true colors" where anyone could see- including my mom. Nothing anyone could do without proof and/or witnesses. He was the type to not leave marks or to let anyone see or hear him lose his sh*t. But I DID get some paybacks a few times. Learned to be VERY good at kicking "that spot" and then disappearing for a couple of hours before he could get back up....

Good grief...

Candy Kappa
10-05-2017, 05:21 PM
I don't think anyone in this thread has been saying they were, either.

I'd say spanking or slapping a child is abuse, and it's been seen as such and been illegal in Norway since mid 70's

TurtleWA
10-05-2017, 05:48 PM
I'd say spanking or slapping a child is abuse, and it's been seen as such and been illegal in Norway since mid 70's

It definitely depends on the area a person lives. As well as a persons values and such. Some states in the US still have paddling/spanking allowed in schools. In mine and Andrews state of Washington "abuse and neglect does NOT include the physical discipline of a child..."

https://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/child-safety-and-protection/what-child-abuse-and-neglect

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=9A.16.100

Though physical discipline needs to be "reasonable" and "moderate."

IndigoErth
10-05-2017, 06:03 PM
[Yeah, not sure that's a can of worms I really should have opened, but it's too much text to waste now...]



The most common tactic of my mother... Lots of screaming (being sure she's the only one who gets to speak) and tearing apart any sense of self esteem she might have imagined was at risk of still being intact.

Used spanking some, but mostly just as a young kid. That was pretty much replaced later (I think as a pre-teen) by the handful of times I was hit/slapped; always across the face once or twice. Plus the time, after taking a friend home, she sat me on her bed to "talk" to me (always a bad thing), then just whaled on me. All because said friend had spent the night and like a couple of normal middle school girls we were mildly wild and stayed up half the night. So instead of ever asking/telling us to quiet down she just beat on me the next day.

Probably one of the most messed up "punishments" was her once 'locking' me in the so-called wine cellar. Which is more just a small dug out area, technically part of the basement, beneath the kitchen with a dirt floor and low ceiling and a slightly rickety-looking door made of dark red painted wood boards. I don't know that it was actually locked, she has said it wasn't, but in my mind it was. I'm not even sure how old I was as that point... I don't recall if my sister was even around yet, and she was born when I was still just five. I'm guessing I may have been five or six...? Supposedly she didn't go too far away, not leaving me (though to me I thought she had), according to her she sat and cried on the nearby steps... but wtf.

In reality, I was actually a really good kid. Sure, any child is going to be frustrating and mess up, but I was never intentionally bad (even as a toddler I wasn't one to throw tantrums or anything) and wasn't really one to test boundaries too much. (And the way this woman was I didn't dare risk it.) And in front of other people, she damn well KNEW I was a good kid and would defend me as such, and certainly less trouble than a couple of those that were neighbors. But that view seemed to go out the window when there was no one else around. Largely this came from a mother who herself has major issues and was never medicated until I was mid-teens or so. (She's admitted that she sought it out because of how she was to me.) Rised by a woman who believes that mistakes aren't okay and, in I guess her screwed up mind, might even be regarded as intentional. (Or at least responded to as if they were.)

Naturally, my sister, inevitably the favorite, never really got the same level of punishment or abuse from her. I know she didn't have it perfect... Our mother did like to run after and hit us with yard sticks on occasion and she DID once break a heavy duty one over my sister, but far as I'm aware of that is about the worse she herself got. She didn't get near as much screaming (I think more often just stern talking to) and none of the intentional self esteem scarring. (Which you can definitely tell as adults.) Largely she had the benefit of our mother I believe trying to overcompensate on her in a better way because my sister is the younger one like her, while I'm the older one like her own sister she hates, so she seemingly chose me as the target to take her crap out on that she couldn't take out on her own sister or parents.


My dad was much calmer, yelling was infrequent and rarely was he physical and only recall a time or two. He was more likely to break stuff, but also infrequent. He was a better person than my mom, though unfortunately she dished out most of the so-called discipline, esp as he was often at work. Most of her more malicious, emotionally cutting behavior was done when he wasn't home or in ear shot. Hmm... wonder why.

CyberCubed
10-05-2017, 06:05 PM
I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.

drag0nfeathers
10-05-2017, 06:16 PM
Kids are pansies now... in my opinion it's the restraints we put on parents that have resulted in a generation of entitled kids who can't deal with modern life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying abuse is "okay" but giving your kid a smack now in then is not abuse. (this is a reason why I never reproduced... I'd end up in jail with todays regulations)

I got beat as a kid and I deserved every one I got. I don't consider it abuse at all. If I had gotten smacked for no good reason, then that would be different. I never got the "belt" or the "switch" or any of those things. I got a crack in the head normally if I misbehaved, but I learned quick. I generally wasn't a bad kid anyway.

The worst beating I remember was when I was around 5 years old. (and yes I remember this, and I know I had to be 5 or less because my dad passed away 2 weeks before I turned 6) For some reason I got the bright idea in my head to get up out of my bed at 10 at night, go down the stairs, go outside, and go visit my neighbors (who happened to be family) that lived across the street.

They phoned my house and my dad answered and was asked. "Do you know where your daughter is?" Of course he thought I was in bed... but I was not. I was there... Yea.... I got carried home by the collar of my pajamas getting a boot in the behind for every single step home as my dad strode. :tlol:

I got the worst of it from my brothers growing up. It wasn't so much abuse as brothers being brothers in the 80's...

I loved milk, but my brother called it "kick me's" So he would ask if I wanted some kick me's and of course when I said yes he would kick me. He would jingle the milk and ask again and of course I'd say no because I didn't want to get kicked again. So he would shrug and put the milk away so I'd be all "Nuuuuuu!" So he would reaffirm I actually DID want kick me's and proceed to kick me again.

This is the same brother who would put his dirty socks in my mouth and squeeze orange peels in my eyes because he had to babysit me almost every night of his teenage life instead of being able to hang out with his friends since my mom bailed on us after my dad died. He would also wipe his boogers under my pillow so I would get all scratchy booger talons up and down my arms when I would put my arm under my pillow to go to sleep. You just gotta love big brothers... The only shining light is my even bigger brother (who teased him like he teased me) taught me a lot of weird little quirks that freaked him out so when he had his first child (my niece) I made sure to teach her all the those things so karma has now come full circle.

TurtleWA
10-05-2017, 06:37 PM
I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.

Yes you would think in 2017 there would be better methods to keep those without power (kids) in check. Something other than corporal punishment.

Spike Spiegel
10-05-2017, 07:12 PM
My mother still has a metal cane that is bent from her hitting me with it.

We lost a lot of brooms that way too. I'd usually have to bend over a couch or something when it was a scheduled punishment.

In my mid to late teens, once that didn't work any more, I'd get sent on "walks" and would get locked out of whatever house/apartment we lived at the time, sometimes without any shoes or socks on, for anywhere from 15 minutes to a few hours.

I probably wasn't a "bad" kid per se, judging from how my friends' parents always complimented me on my behavior. I was just raised as a hardline fundamentalist Christian, so questioning my mother was viewed as questioning God...

snake
10-05-2017, 08:04 PM
I got spanked a bit when I was little. Didn't really do anything lol

Some of you guys were f*cked.

Prowler
10-06-2017, 04:24 PM
I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.
Back i nmy parents' day kids still got smacked at school. My mom got hit with a ruler on the back of her hands once. She said it hurt.

Also, left-handed kids used to get smacked A LOT at school. Teachers basically forced them to learn to write with their right hands. I guess being left-handed was viewed as some sort of physical handicap back then?

plastroncafe
10-06-2017, 05:05 PM
Back i nmy parents' day kids still got smacked at school. My mom got hit with a ruler on the back of her hands once. She said it hurt.

Also, left-handed kids used to get smacked A LOT at school. Teachers basically forced them to learn to write with their right hands. I guess being left-handed was viewed as some sort of physical handicap back then?

Corporal Punishment was a big thing at Catholic Schools, which is one of the reasons my parents refused to send me to one.

Mom had to kneel on pencils, or was smacked around by nuns.
My grandmother, who was left-handed, routinely had her hand tied behind her back to keep her from using it.

The Left, or sinister, hand was associated with the devil.
And anyone who preferred that hand must also be of or with the devil, based on a passage from Matthew, apparently:

And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Prowler
10-06-2017, 05:31 PM
Corporal Punishment was a big thing at Catholic Schools, which is one of the reasons my parents refused to send me to one.

Mom had to kneel on pencils, or was smacked around by nuns.
My grandmother, who was left-handed, routinely had her hand tied behind her back to keep her from using it.

The Left, or sinister, hand was associated with the devil.
And anyone who preferred that hand must also be of or with the devil, based on a passage from Matthew, apparently:

Is that why left is sinistra in Italian?

Also, how convenient that communism, the enemy of fascism, is left-winged. :tgrin:

plastroncafe
10-06-2017, 05:42 PM
Kind of?
sinister (adj.) (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=sinister)

early 15c., "prompted by malice or ill-will, intending to mislead," from Old French senestre, sinistre "contrary, false; unfavorable; to the left" (14c.), from Latin sinister "left, on the left side" (opposite of dexter), of uncertain origin. Perhaps meaning properly "the slower or weaker hand" [Tucker], but Klein and Buck suggest it's a euphemism (see left (adj.)) connected with the root of Sanskrit saniyan "more useful, more advantageous." With contrastive or comparative suffix -ter, as in dexter (see dexterity).

The Latin word was used in augury in the sense of "unlucky, unfavorable" (omens, especially bird flights, seen on the left hand were regarded as portending misfortune), and thus sinister acquired a sense of "harmful, unfavorable, adverse." This was from Greek influence, reflecting the early Greek practice of facing north when observing omens. In genuine Roman auspices, the augurs faced south and left was favorable. Thus sinister also retained a secondary sense in Latin of "favorable, auspicious, fortunate, lucky."

Meaning "evil" is from late 15c. Used in heraldry from 1560s to indicate "left, to the left." Bend (not "bar") sinister in heraldry indicates illegitimacy and preserves the literal sense of "on or from the left side" (though in heraldry this is from the view of the bearer of the shield, not the observer of it; see bend (n.2)).

TurtleWA
10-06-2017, 06:01 PM
All this 'left' talk has me remembering that I was once told that "the left eye is the window to the soul." Decided to do a quick search to see if the internet said the same thing. A quote from the first article I clicked on.
"If someone is not being sincere they will turn their face so that their right eye is toward you. If they are taking from the heart they will turn the left side of their face towards you to emphasise the left eye."
http://www.scienceofsoulmates.com/The_power_of_the_left_eye.htm

MsMarvelDuckie
10-06-2017, 10:18 PM
Interestingly enough for the current track of this discussion I am not only left-handed myself (how many of us here are? Show of hands, LOL!) but was also reprimanded in school for using it when young, before my mom told them to leave it alone and let me use the one that came naturally. That put a stop to it. I did learn to use my right a bit when I broke my left wrist in middle school and couldn't move my hand well, but I still do almost everything left-handed. (Except batting in baseball- for some reason I do that right-handed....)

And I will confirm what plastron posted about the origins of "sinister" from the Latin for "on the left". But in Roman times that was not a negative trait. On the contrary it was considered a sign of favor by the gods or of being born lucky. However it was later changed in Christian times to be a sign of witchcraft or wickedness. Left-handed people in the Middle Ages often concealed the fact or learned to use the other in order to avoid being accused of being heretics or witches.

FredWolfLeonardo
10-07-2017, 12:38 AM
I was physically spanked, sometimes pretty hard, but I don't mind it looking back. I wouldn't love my parents any less :)

Original TMNT Cartoon Fan
10-12-2017, 02:55 PM
**** was scary back in the day, but these are fun conversations to have now that people can look back and laugh. What did your parents do to punish you guys?

My mother would throw dry rice on the floor and make me kneel on it for hours on end. After a while the little grains would cut into the skin and leave scars and ish. And another time my mother got so angry that she ripped out the little rod thing to open and close the blinds and whipped me with it. Good times.

Oh, and being Latino, I am quite familiar with la chancla.

What about you guys?

All this sounds like nothing else than pure child abuse. Even by the standards of many years or decades ago, or what your parents came from.

Cure
10-12-2017, 03:26 PM
Only you know, it wasn't. I was a piece of **** who deserved it.

Original TMNT Cartoon Fan
10-12-2017, 03:30 PM
Only you know, it wasn't. I was a piece of **** who deserved it.

Still child abuse.

Cure
10-12-2017, 04:32 PM
Haha, nah.

Refractive Reflections
10-12-2017, 06:11 PM
I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.

Here's a dilemma for you CyberCubed, and anyone else if they want to answer. What happens if you have a 5-10 year old kid, who doesn't want to be disciplined with "time-outs"? Who still throws tantrums after taking away their privileges, starts using profanity on their own parents, spitting on others, vandalizes their parents' home. ...And still continues to hit others when he/she doesn't get their way, making a big scene shouting and making tantrums, knowing that their parents' don't want to create a big scene in public? How would you handle the situation CyberCubed?

FredWolfLeonardo
10-12-2017, 06:23 PM
Here's a dilemma for you CyberCubed, and anyone else if they want to answer. What happens if you have a 5-10 year old kid, who doesn't want to be disciplined with "time-outs"? Who still throws tantrums after taking away their privileges, starts using profanity on their own parents, spitting on others, vandalizes their parents' home. ...And still continues to hit others when he/she doesn't get their way, making a big scene shouting and making tantrums, knowing that their parents' don't want to create a big scene in public? How would you handle the situation CyberCubed?

What a spoilt and bratty hypothetical child.

Honour thy Mother and thy Father people.

Spike Spiegel
10-12-2017, 06:54 PM
Honour thy Mother and thy Father people.

That's hard to do when a parent is an alcoholic, has a personality disorder, or suffers from some other serious psychological issue. And it's all too easy for even well-behaved kids to become victims.

Also, if a kid curses at people, vandalizes property, spits on people, and acts badly, they had to have learned that behavior somewhere. That sort of thing doesn't develop in a vacuum.

TurtleWA
10-12-2017, 06:55 PM
Here's a dilemma for you CyberCubed, and anyone else if they want to answer. What happens if you have a 5-10 year old kid, who doesn't want to be disciplined with "time-outs"? Who still throws tantrums after taking away their privileges, starts using profanity on their own parents, spitting on others, vandalizes their parents' home. ...And still continues to hit others when he/she doesn't get their way, making a big scene shouting and making tantrums, knowing that their parents' don't want to create a big scene in public? How would you handle the situation CyberCubed?

Easy answer. Go to Dr. Phil.

IndigoErth
10-12-2017, 07:58 PM
Unless he/she has genetically severe mental/emotional issues, that kid most certainly has parents who should be ashamed at their clear failures; either terrible parenting or an utter lack of it. Whole family should probably at least start with counseling...

And if they still refuse to straighten up, well... reform schools and others for problem kids are a thing for a reason. *stifles evil grin*

Katie
10-13-2017, 01:23 PM
I agree. If a kid acts out that badly and there is no illness involved, it is a clear failure in parenting where the kid has learned he will get his way if he causes a big enough scene.

My mother would have dragged me out of the public space and I would have gotten hell from both parents at home. Terrible behavior should never be rewarded just to shut the kid up. If he gets what he wants by screaming and causing a scene, guess what? Junior learned a new skill.

ETA: “doesn’t want to be disciplined with ‘time outs’...”. WTF? What kid gets any say in the punishment? This puts too much power and control in the kids hands. I don’t care how you want to be punished. If you act out, there is a punishment. Period. Of my choosing.

FredWolfLeonardo
10-13-2017, 02:25 PM
I believe parents have a right to be treated with respect and honoured even if they're the most cruel and painful people you can imagine.

They have that right simply by being parents. Even expressing annoyance at them is absolutely forbidden in my moral values.

CyberCubed
10-13-2017, 02:37 PM
Katie, you don't have any kids, do you? Would you repeat the things your mother did with you if you did?

TurtleWA
10-13-2017, 02:55 PM
I believe parents have a right to be treated with respect and honoured even if they're the most cruel and painful people you can imagine.

How are you defining honor and respect?

FredWolfLeonardo
10-13-2017, 02:57 PM
How are you defining honor and respect?

Talk to them with decency and don't go out of your way to belittle them.

If they are doing something wrong, lovingly explain their error to them without the slightest hint of annoyance and sarcasm in your voice.

If they ask you to do something thats not immoral, do it without questioning them.

Respect their wishes and financially support them.

If they wish to be left alone, do not disturb them but go out of your way to make sure they are doing well and let them know you'll always be there in case they need you.

plastroncafe
10-13-2017, 03:10 PM
Yeah, I never did truck with that Keep Sweet stuff.

I will always love my mother and father, but that doesn't mean I'm going to set myself on fire to keep them warm.

I do feel the need to add that for much of my growing-up years my mom had a sign hanging in the family kitchen:
Be nice to your children, they pick your nursing home.

TurtleWA
10-13-2017, 03:14 PM
If they ask you to do something thats not immoral, do it without questioning them.

I'm glad this is part of the definition. Because when you said "the most cruel and painful people you can imagine." Well I have a very good imagination. Let's just leave it at that. :ohwell:

Katie
10-13-2017, 03:58 PM
Katie, you don't have any kids, do you? Would you repeat the things your mother did with you if you did?

I raised a child for the past six years. Not my biological child, but I raised him. And yes, I would absolutely have marched his a$$ out of a public space if he acted out like that.

He’s a good kid though and that’s because before his mom died she raised him well and punished as necessary. And from what I understand we have similar styles in that regard.