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Indigo
05-13-2004, 02:17 PM
A friend sent these to me...they're pretty funny.


HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.

2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM, DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.

3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPER SIZED.

4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."

5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.

6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."

7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."

8. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION

9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.

10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.

11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."

12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.

13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.

14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA &PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY.

15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.

16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK HARD

17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"

18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"

19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."

I want to try a few of these xD

Voltron
05-13-2004, 02:20 PM
I do that anyway.

Hannah
05-13-2004, 03:00 PM
I've done those soooo many times.

raphael_is_cool
05-13-2004, 03:07 PM
3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT SUPER SIZED.

Haha, I'm gonna do that

The Defibrillator
05-13-2004, 05:34 PM
Lay off the caps lock, homie.

Ryona
05-13-2004, 07:35 PM
Indigo, don't worry about what he said about the caps. It's suposed to be like that; Just like David Letterman's Top 10.

MGMae
05-13-2004, 10:14 PM
Number 2 is a staple in my diet of insanity. :D

damnhooligan
05-13-2004, 10:46 PM
This list could have equally been titled: Surefire Ways to Get Your Ass Kicked

Though, honestly... I've employed a few of these methods at my old job, at my mum's bookstore. I frequently paged myself while customers mulled around the fiction section, giving me odd looks when they realized I was the only employee working that day.