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-   -   kaiju april (http://forums.thetechnodrome.com/showthread.php?t=62709)

lonewarrior20 06-15-2020 07:55 PM

kaiju april
 
i'm going to be starting a new project and hopefully hiring the guy that did my miss mutant 2020 pageant. it's going to be with rise of tmnt. i can't help it i want to see april transform once so here's what i came up with for a script.

"kaiju April"

Scene the turtles lair, Donnie's workshop.
Donnie's tinkering with something, his goggles are down and he has a giant grin on his face.

D: And they called me mad, but I'll show them it can be done.

April pops up and she's wearing a strange dragon wraparound bracelet that has a slight ominous glint to it.

A: Hey D check out what I found at the underground city's swap meet for my mom, so... whatchya doin?

D: Thanks to some books I was able to get at the library and a few mystic items I "borrowed" from Draxum I might be able to fuse my tech and magic together to make the ultimate app.

A: And what does it do?

D: It's able to block all ads, even the ones that say you can skip but you really can't because they show up again after 5 minutes.

April starts to reach for the device.

A: Really? Now this I gotta try.

The device sparks and shocks her and the bracelets eyes glow slightly.

A: Ow! hey D, I feel weird.

April starts to grow and grow until she's almost tall enough to hit her head at the top of the lair.

D: I don't get it. my calculations say this shouldn't have happened. Don't worry April, I can fix this. I think.

A: Donnie!

The other turtles walk in to the lair.

R: Whoa D, you tryin to make an April parade balloon or something?

A: Very funny.

M: Maybe we should call Draxum.

D: No! I can fix this, watch and learn boys.

Donnie makes a few runes and now April has slited lizard eyes and sharp teeth. she then roars and starts to tear up the lair

R: Leo use your portal to get her outta here before she brings the lair down on us!

L: One cosmic portal coming up!

He waves his sword and opens up a portal under April and drops her through, the turtles then follow.

They are now in the middle of the city.

R: I didn't mean drop her in the middle of town!

Leo shrugs

L: Next time be more specific.

D: Ok, this should do it.

April now has a giant lizard tail.

M: You gave her a tail!

D: Ok, now I admit I've messed up a bit but maybe this'll do it. or this, or this, oh come on!

Each time this is done April gets something new. clawed feet, clawed hands, spikes, a long neck and snout.

R: You're just making it worse!

M,R,L: Call Draxum!

D: Ok, ok. I'm calling him.

L: Uh, guys she's looking at us and I don't mean a hey guys how's it goin look. more of a I wanna eat you look.

Dx: What is it, I'm busy making tomorrows meal.

D: I uh, may have borrowed some of your stuff and I think it turned April into a giant monster.

Dx: What! Show me!

R: Come on guys, while Donnie's chatting we gotta stop her from wreaking the city.

Raph is now in his giant red form and blocking April. She starts breathing fire.

R: That's some nasty dragons breath you got there!

Dx: My magic wouldn't have caused that! She's wearing the retou long charm!

D: What's a retou long charm?

Dx: Years ago in China there was a bracelet that absorbed magic and caused the wearer to turn into a rampaging dragon, but I thought it was destroyed during the boxer rebellion.

L: That's cool and all but how do we stop her?

Dx: You need to make an antiabsorbtion barrier and remove the charm. Can you make one of those?

D: Sure, why not.

R: Mikey, tangle her up!

M: One tow line coming up, cowabunga!

He then wraps his mystic item around her legs as wings sprout out of her back

Dx: Hurry, your bothers items are only feeding the charm!

D: Don't rush me!

April grows two more heads and necks.

L: Donnie we're rushing you!

D: Ok, done!

A green bubble envelops the bracelet

Dx: Now quickly, remove it from her!

L: Got it!

Leo grabs the bracelet and then drops it

L: Don't got it!

The bracelet drops into a sewer grate. April starts shrinking down and changing back.

R: Yo April, you ok?

A: I think so, just a little indigestion.

She burps and fire comes out of her mouth.

M: I don't think antacids will help that.

Dx: Next time, call me sooner.

R: Hey D, ain't you forgetting something?

D: Sigh, thank you for your help.

Dx: You're welcome.

Ding

Dx: My spinach puffs are ready.

A: Hey, what happened to my bracelet?

Show the bracelet with a bunch of other jewelry with Kendra from the purple dragons looking at it.

K: Oh, pretty. How much?

End?

now mind you i don't know how many page's it'll be or how long it'll take to get complete but i will post them here when their done.

The Great Saiyaman 06-15-2020 08:43 PM

Not a bad start but please check your grammar.

Because you use "Your" (as in "you own it, it's yours") Where it should say "You're" (Short for "You are") and you use "Their" (As in "It belongs to them, it's theirs") where it should be "They're" (Short for "They are")

Also don't forget that a name should be written with a capital letter, April, Donnie, Leo, Raph, Mikey.

Trust me, if you want people to take your work seriously, put in some effort to get your grammar right.

lonewarrior20 06-15-2020 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Great Saiyaman (Post 1848492)
Not a bad start but please check your grammar.

Because you use "Your" (as in "you own it, it's yours") Where it should say "You're" (Short for "You are") and you use "Their" (As in "It belongs to them, it's theirs") where it should be "They're" (Short for "They are")

Also don't forget that a name should be written with a capital letter, April, Donnie, Leo, Raph, Mikey.

Trust me, if you want people to take your work seriously, put in some effort to get your grammar right.

i know i'm terrible with spelling and punctuation. so better?

lonewarrior20 09-08-2020 01:34 PM

thing is it will at most be 2 pages a month but i'll also post the sketch of the next page after each page is done.
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...Ge_rH-ouCbxHI4

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...KcT3pmcJYx_oo0

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...SHQ8BeUI7Psn14

oldmanwinters 09-09-2020 11:51 AM

The art looks really good! Even the rough pencils are quality layouts. Looks like this should be a fun story.

lonewarrior20 09-09-2020 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters (Post 1860601)
The art looks really good! Even the rough pencils are quality layouts. Looks like this should be a fun story.

thanks, the guy works in 3 hour sessions and this one took around 2 and 1/3rd sessions but thats with all the detail he's added. i'm now back on the 2 to 3 week waiting list. he's also going to do a halloween picture of lita and the weasel trio trick or treating. i was originally going to have the one that did the sailor moon picture but that would run around a hundred bucks due to multiple characters but with this guy because its time it'd be around 30 bucks. and i hate to say it he also does better quality.

lonewarrior20 10-17-2020 06:21 PM

here's the next page and sketch. i won't get another session until the beginning of november so be patient.

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...aZMEs9cgRuVsaU

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...S-X47IkNfhSQx0

oldmanwinters 10-17-2020 07:16 PM

Looks great! April's expression in the next sketch looks hilarious too!

lonewarrior20 10-17-2020 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters (Post 1864710)
Looks great! April's expression in the next sketch looks hilarious too!

wait til you see her dragon form.

lonewarrior20 11-18-2020 05:27 PM

next pages.
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...GU_h3TBwwOR2XQ

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...GLUMKbKsupdFuQ

oldmanwinters 11-18-2020 05:58 PM

Nice to see the newest page (pages) drop!

Really reminds me of "Attack of the 50-Foot Irma" so far!

lonewarrior20 12-23-2020 07:27 PM

here's a nice Christmas present www.furaffinity.net/user/thebigbadwolf01/ got the next page done
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...1BFLt0abHWAgD8
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...xsy5EBjoe-LnSI

oldmanwinters 12-24-2020 02:42 PM

Rock the Dragon! Merry Christmas!

lonewarrior20 02-08-2021 06:18 PM

next pages are done.
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...cxu5DquF1F02LQ

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EtvndMpX...jpg&name=small

oldmanwinters 02-09-2021 06:11 PM

Looking great!

I wasn't sure what April was holding in her hand in the bottom middle panel but the dialogue line was helpful (at first I thought she just crushed the couch by stepping on it, but after a second, I realized she picked it up).

lonewarrior20 02-09-2021 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters (Post 1879427)
Looking great!

I wasn't sure what April was holding in her hand in the bottom middle panel but the dialogue line was helpful (at first I thought she just crushed the couch by stepping on it, but after a second, I realized she picked it up).

yeah, he's adding extra and making it work better.

lonewarrior20 03-01-2021 06:10 PM

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/thebigbadwolf01/ got the next page done.

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...mxMVUZyk4uUSCU

https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca88...or3yd_vBZJfidM

Jester 03-01-2021 07:58 PM

You've got the "voices" of the characters down very well. I can totally hear these comics.

oldmanwinters 03-02-2021 08:49 AM

Did April lose the couch? I don't see it in her hand when she touches down in the city.

lonewarrior20 03-02-2021 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters (Post 1882565)
Did April lose the couch? I don't see it in her hand when she touches down in the city.

yeah, last panel of page 5, it's not in her hands.


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