Quote:
Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie
And you would be the world's biggest doormat for it. Let's be honest here- a parent is not going to change or be less abusive just because the child bows down to them. All that does is teach the child to roll over and take it. Take it from someone who has been through it. As a child with an abusive parent, there is no such thing as respect because it does not exist for that child. The child must fight back against the abuse in any way they can, even if it means simply standing up and refusing to give admiration or esteem for cruel and inhuman treatment. Showing "respect" to an abusive parent does not make the child stronger- it makes them weak and more likely to allow further abuse later in life. It makes them seek to avoid confrontation or stand up for themselves because they confuse respect with fear. Abusive parents are not trying to instill respect but fear. That is how they control children. It is purely oppressive and unworthy of true respect.
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The aim of respect is not to hope another person will change, nor is it to change their actions. A cruel parent will be cruel regardless of whether a child hates them or loves them. There are ways of fighting back against abuse without holding hatred in your heart for another person or going out of your way to curse and attack them.
And on the contrary, dealing with a situation without holding grudges is the very definition of strength. Its easy to start disrespecting and slandering an abusive parent, thinking it will make things better, but it only ends not only making them angrier, but hurting you as well from all the hatred and feelings of revenge.