[plastroncafe]

In a perfect world all parties would feel comfortable and open about their wants and desires, but we don't live in a perfect world where all parties do.

The assumption that we live in that world omits very important cultural cues and expectations.

Margaret Atwood has a great quote about this:
Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them.

And in several cases women saying No have resulted in their being bodily harmed.

Here's the thing about consent:
If you don't get affirmative consent, you should assume the answer is no.
And if you're unsure if you're getting non-verbal consent, the onus is on you to ask for it, otherwise assume it is no.

I need to read more about the allegations against Ansari, but if he was making moves that she didn't consent to before the fact, then yeah...he's in the wrong. Consenting to one sex act isn't the same thing as consenting to all sex acts.