Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo656
Anecdotally, the only people I've personally known who have attempted to initiate and maintain such an arrangement were women. Worked out great for them, short-term; twice as many guys around to work and pay bills and whatnot.
From the outside looking in, it appeared to be a transparent attempt at manipulating various men into supporting the woman's lifestyle. I'm assuming the men eventually began to suspect the same thing, because in the end nobody was speaking to anyone else. I've only seen it attempted a few times, but it always ended the same way. One guy moved halfway across the country to get away from the girl who f*cked him over so badly. Just up and fled in the middle of the night once he realized she'd been playing him for a chump. Bad scene.
On the surface, I would want to agree that it's a situation that favors the male - "More pu$$y! Whooooooo!" - but in my personal experience, most men want the women to get the f*ck out of sight as soon as the sex is over. Generally, you don't want them hanging around. Therefore, juggling multiple women may seem like Heaven on the surface, but Hell in actuality. The women, meanwhile, can get a lot more out of such an arrangement than just sex, so perhaps that's why they seem to be more proactive in instigating and maintaining a polyamorous relationship.
Again, this is just what I've observed up close. I'm sure it's different for some people, and there's all kinds of variables involved. It just doesn't seem like a good idea long-term. And the people who attempt it usually come off looking somewhat shady, for reasons not limited to but definitely including that.
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That's kiiiind of what I suspect the end result is. But I'm not entirely sold. Like has been said, I'd like to see lots of examples and data of... triples? Quadruples? that have weathered the storm for 50 years happily.
I've seen a few examples myself of in-progress ones. But early in their progeny. Many that have combusted within the first couple of years (equally as many with kids involved, sadly... that's when the social media family shots stop for a while) but two I know of that are still going. And one has only to dip a tiny bit into dating apps (it was my experience, anyway, the latest two go-arounds) of lots of folks, "normal" couples seeking "a third," generally another female, with the dude largely being the one speaking for both parties and largely being the "voice" of the couple. At least around here in Seattle. Like, a lot. Like a really large lot. Like 10 times out of 10.
It's just really interesting. Like, what's going on? Like, "careful what you wish for"... maybe? But it seems so multi-layered.