Quote:
Originally Posted by ZariusTwo
Right...something a bit different this time around. I've decided to novelize the third episode before I write the script, as I feel I can improve a lot on the script by going with this format
|
It was a big improvement! (I'm not saying the 2nd story was generally bad, far from it...but it terms of maintaining that OT tone it was big.) The flow of the story was more in line with the OT tone.
I really liked this episode/story because of the OT episode references and "breaking the 4th wall" moments with the reader because
they make the story more engaged with the reader. Hmmm...as I reviewed in ff.net,
are you sure you're not mind-reading my ideas of my fanfic???
LOL, just kidding.
There's just so many things I enjoy about this: the OT episode references, "breaking the 4th wall", highlighting each Turtle's adventure with each episode/story, improvement on the subtle adult humor, the detailed fighting scenes (helps the reader, or at least me, imagine the fighting situation), the in-character dialogue, and Splinter's in-character advice. The paragraph structure was good too because instead of seeing repeated one lines over and over and over again, it gave the story some structure to appropriately designate one character's speech, emotions, and actions in one paragraph. (Otherwise the continual, unwarranted, new paragraph line each implies a new idea every time.)
It's almost uncanny how this fanfic could almost come across as a script of the OT show as the reviewer "Brooke Thomas" pointed out.
I know you mentioned that you like/prefer detailed reviews, I also hope you don't mind also the chapter by chapter review as well. I thought maybe it could provide a perspective of how the reader is interpreting it with each passing chapter. Extraordinary work ZariusTwo!
**applause**
And I also wanted to mention,
as IcyKali pointed out, thank you tremendously for taking both of our reviews ("My Seer, My Secretary") so courteously, especially with some critical aspects of the story. (It's just that we wanted to help point out some things with the standards that
you had set for yourself.) As IcyKali stated, it's rare for writers to do so because sometimes they ask for a more critical perspective but then get aggravated despite them asking for it. (
Which therefore reflects your impressive maturity ZariusTwo. ) Here's an exaggerated analogy of how some other immature writers get aggravated: similarly to how you point out to a "friend" that they have a phlegm coming out of their nose, but they start getting upset with you, just because you told them despite it being for their own benefit.