Quote:
Originally Posted by BartAllen
I wonder if parents today just treat their kids like they're... well, precious little gems. I really do think that parents owe it to tell their kids they're goofy looking, and to bust their balls just a bit so that when they hear it from other people they're not as phased by it.
That does sound horrible, I know.
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No, I'm not going to agree, because that just purposely tears at their self esteem and can create similar/same issues coming from the opposite angle. And kids are all different and it's going to vary what they can take, how they take it, and the tone used probably plays a big role. Gentle teasing that isn't mean spirited is one thing, and like your cousin maybe it can pad some kids to be able to brush off other teasing later. But unfortunately plenty of families DO use it only in a mean spirited and/or criticizing way. Take a kid who gets enough of it at home and then gets it a school... Yeah, not good if there is no place to get away from it.
Big difference between coddling them as "precious little gems" and simply being a good parent/other adult who pays attention and talks to them and shows them how to cope when thing get crappy. Don't tear them up... (I have a mother who did that and will forever resent her for it) just teach them how to deal when life and OTHER people try to. How to accept their feelings about something and move on.
Side note, you don't even have to coddle them to make them unable to put up with crap in life. What example are too many adults providing?? For every kid who witnesses a parent have a fit at and bully a store associate in order to try to get his/her way, or sees them argue with a teacher over a grade or disciplinary issues instead of taking it up with their kid, or sees their parent's terrible behavior on the road, to name a few... Yeah, what is that teaching? That it's always someone else's fault, that it's right to flip out if you aren't getting your way, esp if doing so will GET you your way, and having a meltdown is the proper response. If they aren't being SHOWN how to deal, then they aren't going to learn how to. Even if they are NOT the coddled sort. An angry kid from an angry family didn't have to be coddled to learn how to respond with anger to everything that doesn't go their way...
Some are strong enough to step past their upbringing, but most are not.