Did you have a bully growing up in school?

[CyberCubed]

I'm curious if anyone here has had a bully growing up in any grade in school. I never really got into fights in school myself, ocassionally every so often there would be some random kid who started bothering me for no reason, but I always had people to back me up whenever it happened so nothing came to it.

For whatever odd reason, I always had followers no matter where I was. I never had a huge amount of friends, but I always had people who would back me up if I was in trouble or help me out. It must be my charming and eccentric personality.

So I can't say I ever had a real ongoing bully, what about you?

[Candy Kappa]

I had several bullies, but eventually they stopped after I had beaten them up. I had a lot of anger issues as a kid and bullying wasn't exactly helping.

[Krutch]

I did in grades six through eight, but once I hit high school, nah. I had a ton of friends and everyone seemed to just mind their own business and stay to their own clique.

Fist fights rarely ever happened, but when they did were never a part of school. I was always pretty good at defusing any situation before it escalated to physical violence as a teen.

I know high school bullying is a thing and I'm not naive to it, but in my life experience has only ever been a movie thing.

[ssjup81]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

I'm curious if anyone here has had a bully growing up in any grade in school. I never really got into fights in school myself, ocassionally every so often there would be some random kid who started bothering me for no reason, but I always had people to back me up whenever it happened so nothing came to it.

For whatever odd reason, I always had followers no matter where I was. I never had a huge amount of friends, but I always had people who would back me up if I was in trouble or help me out. It must be my charming and eccentric personality.

So I can't say I ever had a real ongoing bully, what about you?

Narcissistic much? Anyway, no, I never had a bully, despite wearing glasses and being overweight. I think I wasn't bullied because I had a slight reputation. I was quiet in school, but did get into occasional disputes...usually boys and would physically fight them. By 8th grade, I promised myself never to fight again because it's immature and stupid. In 7th grade, a boy felt me up, grabbing my boobs, and I punched him in the face and since he was light-skinned, it left a clear mark. He also hit back. This was also during a field trip. ^^ Anyway, his older sister (8th grader) planned on getting a bunch of students to beat me up...until she found out why I hit him and she apologized. I also didn't get in trouble. He did and he got suspended.

I think that's what solidified the, don't mess with Wendy thing and why I wasn't bullied. I wasn't popular or anything like that...just there.

Ignoring Cubed's ego-stroking, for those who did have bullies or were bullied, how did you deal with them? I feel that the information would be very good for younger members of the board.

[BubblyShell22]

I had a guy in high school who would constantly bully me for no reason and just say stuff even though I never did anything to him to deserve it. Luckily, he apologized in our junior year and said he was stupid for doing it and that he thought I was a nice person. I forgave him and all was well.

[Candy Kappa]

My advice against bullies isn't very good, but making them bleed usually makes them stop or rethink future actions. As a 1st grader I beat up a 8th grader for bullying my best friend.

My grade school gave two ***** about bullying and even teachers was in on the "fun". One of the students in my parallel class had ADHD and had a helper teacher. One of those helper teacher riled him up and watched him beat up other kids.

[Utrommaniac]

BOY, LET ME TELL YOU.

Honestly, I don't even KNOW how many I had. Well more than five. But not more than fifteen. Maybe.

I was a year older than my peers (stayed an extra year in preschool because I was actually YOUNGER than my first group), I was taller, and pretty heavy because of puberty (which started when I was nine). And then I was the Autistic kid that blabbed about my present obsessions to the point that it made me a target. This went on until I was a Junior in high school, but it was at its very worst in middle school. It's why I'm a little more reserved in talking about the sort of things I like, and why I tend to spill them out when I am comfortable about it. And why I feel embarrassed when I pour my heart out on something and then not get much response from it.

Fortunately I did have adults who tried to help me, but there were always too many to deal with. I didn't even know a lot of the names of the kids who picked on me. But they were generally the teachers that my peers hated because they wouldn't let them goof around; and for that reason, I liked them. Especially my eighth grade grammar teacher. She might not have remotely shared my love of snakes, but she was one of my rocks. The other was my content mastery instructor, who had founded a social group for kids with Aspergers, which was where I had my friends...who were all boys.
And I wonder why I can only find female friends on the internet...

One thing I have noticed is that I've NEVER see someone come out and say that they had been a bully at some point in their lives. And if I have, I must have shut it out. I've never seen someone admit that they had gone out of their way to harass another person - especially when they were young.
But I've always seen an outpouring of people say they were bullied.
I was even surprised to see that one of the girls I considered "popular" (ei "friends with other girls") was bullied because she was always really tall and lanky.

[Wesley]

I guess I had a bully for a year or so in school, though he wasn't a stereotypical bully. He was an annoyance rather than an enemy. He didn't beat people up or carry out any threats. He rarely lost his temper and was actually calm most of the time. He usually ran away from a fight (similar to OT Shredder).

I had an odd "frenemy" relationship with him, as he both liked and disliked me at different times for some reason. He seemed to have a split personality, as he acted like two completely different people every now and then. There were many times that he talked to me as if we were good friends. I was well able to stand up to him anyway and even scare/humiliate him a few times. Anytime he pushed me, I pushed him back. Anytime he insulted me, I insulted him back. I said a lot of good one-liners to him. He said ridiculous catchphrases such as "I'll fight ya for a fiver" and "I'll tell my mummy on you".

One time, this kid was chasing a few girls with a stick in the cloakroom and I hit him from behind with my school bag. In the wink of an eye, he had disappeared, persumably being weakened in the process. Another time, he wrote on my ruler that I was a "cool dude."

I never really got into fights myself either, as I would walk away before things got heated. I never felt I was on my own, as I did have a lot of people to talk to and I was confident enough to handle bullies anyway. I was a good student and was clever enough not to say or do anything bad when a teacher was present, so teachers were usually on my side.

The best advice I can give about bullies is to make your own mind up about them and not pay much attention to what other people think of them.

[Cure]

Not really, no. I wasn't a bully, either, but I did make a girl cry once which I still feel bad about today.

[TheSkeletonMan939]

Originally Posted by ssjup81

Ignoring Cubed's ego-stroking, for those who did have bullies or were bullied, how did you deal with them? I feel that the information would be very good for younger members of the board.

I'll tell the youngsters what they shouldn't do: expect "telling someone" to solve the problem. That's what I did and I was so foolish to think that it'd stop. 4th - 6th grade a pack of assholes made school hell for me and they're the reason I'm so antisocial today.
The best way to deal with a bully is to make them hurt. Sock them in the face if they're pushing you too far. Schools discourage this these days (which I think is abhorrent) but whatever disciplinary punishment is handed down is a fair price to pay for averting potential years of further misery.

[Krutch]

Originally Posted by Candy Kappa

As a 1st grader I beat up a 8th grader for bullying my best friend.

So... you were 6-7 years old when you beat up a 13-14 year old?

[Cure]

Physical vioence isn't always smart, at least not around here. There are so many gangs and whatnot that if you punch one kid you might as well pick a fight with all ten of his friends, who more than likely are packing. A kid got shot in my school my sophomore year. Metal detectors are a thing now but, you know, they're not gonna forget **** just because the bell rang.

[CyberCubed]

Originally Posted by Cure

Physical vioence isn't always smart, at least not around here. There are so many gangs and whatnot that if you punch one kid you might as well pick a fight with all ten of his friends, who more than likely are packing. A kid got shot in my school my sophomore year. Metal detectors are a thing now but, you know, they're not gonna forget **** just because the bell rang.

Hot damn. Living in the gangsta hood is rough.

[TheSkeletonMan939]

Originally Posted by Cure

Physical vioence isn't always smart, at least not around here. There are so many gangs and whatnot that if you punch one kid you might as well pick a fight with all ten of his friends, who more than likely are packing. A kid got shot in my school my sophomore year. Metal detectors are a thing now but, you know, they're not gonna forget **** just because the bell rang.

Yeah, that's a no-win situation. One of the reasons I never fought back was because I was a pretty scrawny kid and one of my bullies was essentially a giant compared to me. You've also got to assess whether the bully's buddies just stick around him as "moral support," and will back off if violence starts, or if they're ready to actually take a punch for him. Stay away from that second group.

[Candy Kappa]

Originally Posted by Krutch

So... you were 6-7 years old when you beat up a 13-14 year old?

Yeah, I was 7.

[Wesley]

Originally Posted by TheSkeletonMan939

Yeah, that's a no-win situation. One of the reasons I never fought back was because I was a pretty scrawny kid and one of my bullies was essentially a giant compared to me. You've also got to assess whether the bully's buddies just stick around him as "moral support," and will back off if violence starts, or if they're ready to actually take a punch for him. Stay away from that second group.

My bully's cronies didn't hang around with him much, just a few times. Oddly enough, they didn't seem to like him (one of them got angry at him once), but they still talked to him for some reason. They didn't back him up at anytime.

[plastroncafe]

Only in Jr High, and that was mostly due to me being way more interested in cartoons and turtles than New Kids/boys.
Socially awkward social climbing never goes well.

These days my bully is now engaged to the girl I had a crush on in grammar school.

[CyberCubed]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

These days my bully is now engaged to the girl I had a crush on in grammar school.

Do you still keep in contact with her? Is he an abusive boyfriend/husband to her or is he now a gentlemen?

[plastroncafe]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

Do you still keep in contact with her? Is he an abusive boyfriend/husband to her or is he now a gentlemen?

No. And she is not a gentleman as far as I am aware.

[CyberCubed]

Oh, you mean the bully was a girl? Ah...I see.