[Fanfic] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (OT)- The Fan Audio Scripts

[ZariusTwo]

Sometimes they're mapped out in advance ("So Long...", "My Seer...") and sometimes they're written completly on the fly and depend on my general mood and feel for where the story can go from the first chapter, taking in all the reviews and suggestions I'd been given from previous stories.

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

It seems like you're doing the season 11 that never was. Awesome.

You create the feeling like when watching the show (the excitement after watching the episodes). Cool idea with Technodrome on the Moon (maybe there are some more places you can move it too), and updated flying transport modules.

[ZariusTwo]

The Technodrome will definatly be moving around in the future

[ZariusTwo]

Fifth book has begun.

[BubblyShell22]

Read and reviewed it as always, Zarius. Nice work.

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

Added it to the TMNT Fanfiction Wiki.

[IcyKali]

Read the first chapter. I really like it! For some reason, I love depressed/angry April. I'm glad the Rat King will be appearing! He's always a fun character.

[ZariusTwo]

Thanks, though, apart from that ever so slight emo thing she does with the snowflake, April isnt really "depressed", just frustrated a bit. All will be revealed

[Refractive Reflections]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

Short for "My Seer, My Secretary"

**Facepalm** Duh...I should have realized that!
Anyways, I haven't forgotten about your awesome stories. It's just that my responses are going to be significantly slower and delayed since things have become kind of hectic on my end over here. So I'll be reviewing your stories and other people's stories at a turtle slow pace.
LOL, I know I'm laaatttte, but I reviewed the first three chapters of "The Lotus and the Sun".

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

Looking forward to your fanfic.

It's...coming along. At the very earliest it'll be done in mid-late summertime. LOL, this fannovel is evolving to be so much bigger than I expected it to be, but I think it's worth it. Writing the rough draft is both exciting and exhausting; I'm trying to find that balance of keeping a decent pace without sacrificing the quality of writing.
I'm considering...just considering now ...posting a small excerpt of a scene (without giving away the plot and maintaining the surprise), just to see how all of you think of it (the writing style, characterization, etc.)

Originally Posted by Original TMNT Cartoon Fan

It seems like you're doing the season 11 that never was. Awesome.

You create the feeling like when watching the show (the excitement after watching the episodes). Cool idea with Technodrome on the Moon (maybe there are some more places you can move it too), and updated flying transport modules.

I have to agree with Original TMNT Cartoon Fan, ZariusTwo, your effort is really lining up to the tone of the OT and each progressing story so far seems to become better and better.

[ZariusTwo]

Thanks for the reviews. I'm working on restructuring the story so you don't have the paragraph issues in the future. Also, good call on the Turtles not using shorter terms for their names in the OT, that's generally something that's rubbed off from me watching the movies and 4Kids show and it's sort of become a bit of a habit to blur it all together. If you want a handwave explanation, the best I can give is the OT Turtles picked up on the habit from their adventure with the 4Kids Turtles, as all these books take place after "Turtles Forever"

It's a good thing I went back in and restructured it, I caught a couple of plot holes in there that really bugged me, and for some reason the space shuttle the Turtles use underwent a name change between chapters(!)

I'd love to see what you have so far of the story. I tend to post samples of my fanfilm script on here to get general feedback and the odd correction or two, getting a good "feel" from the crowd is a good way of boosting your confidence and sharpening your focus, so if you've got something to share, by all means show it off.

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

The Technodrome will definatly be moving around in the future

Cool! Hopefully, to places it never were in the show!

You've been like a living time machine who takes a lot of fans back circa 20 years ago. I can just imagine how many of us who just like to eat a pizza-slice and shout "Cowabunga dudes and dudettes!" again.

[ZariusTwo]

Originally Posted by Original TMNT Cartoon Fan

Cool! Hopefully, to places it never were in the show.

The events of the fourth book play a big part in their moving away from the moon, being that NASA and the goverment will be more than a little curious about where the little nippers who tried to nick the sun came from and will be keeping a beady eye out for them.

We'll be taking a pretty big break from Shredder and co for the next few stories, mainly out of my desire to play around with the other members of the rouges gallery

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

We'll be taking a pretty big break from Shredder and co for the next few stories, mainly out of my desire to play around with the other members of the rouges gallery

Nice! I like so much how season 4-5 take many breaks from Shredder and Krang, easier allowing new stories to be created. I hated that as a kid, but since I re-started my interest in late 2003-early 2004 I like it very much! I think that when people learn about the Mirage/Image comics, they can easier imagine good TMNT stories without Shredder even in other TMNT universes.

[Refractive Reflections]

So anyways ZariusTwo, I'll post my overall reviews here while leaving my chapter-by-chapter reviews on ff.net.

As usual the characters were spot on, the plot kept me interested, and it was a unique and clever element in combining two seemingly unrelated topics "books and mythology" to "science and technology". In addition, I enjoyed how you were able to incorporate the theme of returning to a childlike sense of enjoyment and wonder from adult pessimism/cynicism with Lotus and Derik.

I love when a story has multiple layers of depth from the character growth (Lotus and Derik) to the plot tying in those two unrelated topics, and all the while you were able to maintain the OT tone. This story has a noticeable amount of depth to it compared to your first 2 stories "So Long, No Thanks..." and "My Seer, My Secretary". Hmmmm....Again, ZariusTwo...are you sure you don't have some type of mind-reading capabilities? ...Because this style is knocking close to what I'm aspiring to write, in having multiple-levels of depth in a story. LOL But seriously though, I congratulate you on having multiple layers of depth because it shows that fanfics/stories don't necessarily have to be "darker" to be deeper.

I like this style because the depth appeals to the adult side of the reader while the OT humor and charming characters attract the child aspect of the reader. I'm trying to accomplish something similar in balancing this "high-wire act" of maintaining the OT charm while having a substantial amount of depth to appeal to the adult side of the reader, but I have to admit though it won't be as light as yours though.

The only problems (shouldn't even call them "problems" more like small points) were the paragraph structure (which you corrected already), the nicknames for the TMNT (but that's trivial for me and you already explained it), the hospital situation (you already corrected), the astronomy explanations (Krang's plan and the April's report in Ch. 11 and 12), and the word use of romantic and the sentence structure used with it (with the history Leonardo and Lotus has in the OT...LOL, I hope you understand how a reader has a tendency to jump to conclusions and look into any subtext when it comes to possible romantic relationships ). But they were very minor, they didn't distract me from enjoying the fanfic at all.

You are progressively improving ZariusTwo! Great job! Looking forward to "Mutants and Miracles". (But as I said before, with things going on.... I'll be reviewing at a turtle slow pace.)

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

Do you plan to name the chapters? It's not a must, but I try to do it.

[ZariusTwo]

Thanks for the reviews as always JLS, the fic is in better shape now because of them.

Certain things, like Krang's plan etc, just have to be taken with a grain of salt. It's the OT. It was always up to the most implausible things. So as long as you can rationalise it in your head (which you have done), it should be reletivly easy to accept what's going on.

I've also fixed up April's report so it's worded a bit better and doesnt leave the impression everyone will be fried to a crisp at any moment.

I like your notion that readers have all kinds of different conclusions to make about the story and the subtext associated with it. It means they have to possibly go back and re-read it a couple of times and take something different away from it each time.

[Refractive Reflections]

ROFL , So ZariusTwo... I'll try to "pull back by reins" on looking at small details too much.

But I'll explain my position, on what led me there (LOL):
After coming away from Tony Day's remarkable "Turtle Turncoat" comic, I noticed he had small references/Easter Eggs in his comic.

For example, having the research companies be the same video companies of the TMNT games: Konami and Capcom
http://www.trydowave.com/turtles28.web.htm

Then I remember reading a commentor noticing how the covers for each of his comics had the logo from all the Turtle series (1987, 2003, and 2012) and the 2007 movie only many months afterward: http://www.trydowave.com/

So after my interview of questions with him: http://forums.thetechnodrome.com/sho...&postcount=995 I decided to go through the comic in one sitting a couple weeks later, and I saw ANOTHER reference, that nobody really commented on. http://www.trydowave.com/t4.9.web.htm The Leo & Shredder dialogue parallels that to the 1st movie! The "You Lie!" "Do I?" climatic scene when the movie refers to Splinter, but in the comic to Raphael. Since Tony Day enjoyed the first movie, it seemed more than coincidence.

But then again, it could be coincidence since he stated in another panel that the exploding Technodrome: http://www.trydowave.com/t4.34.web.htm
Wasn't a deliberate action on his part, and may have been subconscious since he said he enjoyed the 1st arcade game so much.


..SO after using "Turtle Turncoat" as an example. With your stories ZariusTwo...I noticed in "Raphael Count 'Em All" and you were including some OT references that I had to take some time to think about the episodes. I thought maybe you were "playing" the same "details game" as Tony Day was. As your writing improved, and saying how the details of each of your 10 stories will culminate to an important ending...well that just added more fuel to the fire. LOL
And with April looking wistfully at the snowflake in the 1st chapter of "Mutants and Miracles"...well that didn't help either...LOL

So that's why I'm becoming more sensitive to the details of your story ZariusTwo! LOL, but I love it because it adds more suspenseful possibilities.

[ZariusTwo]

Ha. No problem dude. As I said on FF.net, I like how you're jumping to all sorts of conclusions and reading a lot into the stories...some of your ideas are things that never occured to me and could well be suited for your own fics in the future, so even if you get the wrong end of the stick, you can always use whatever you've suggested and make it work for you in the end.

I really appreciate your enthusiasm for the fics, and it plays a big part in me sharpening them up with each succesive effort.

[ZariusTwo]

Book Five is finished. This is where everything changes, and we move forward in a BIG way. The gloves are now off.

And with that, I am taking a bit of a a break to work on my other fanfics anf that TMNT fanfilm script, but worry not, you'll be getting the synopsises for wave two's episodes shortly to tie you over until I resume.

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

Originally Posted by ZariusTwo

Book Five is finished. This is where everything changes, and we move forward in a BIG way. The gloves are now off.

And with that, I am taking a bit of a a break to work on my other fanfics anf that TMNT fanfilm script, but worry not, you'll be getting the synopsises for wave two's episodes shortly to tie you over until I resume.

Nice warm-up! Right now, there are 36 stories on Fan Fiction Net labelled as taking place in the 1987 cartoonverse. And 26 of them have been added since last Christmas-New Year (I even count "Calm Before the Storm" and "Terror Through Time", published in December 2012). There are some more, still un-labelled, but 2013 seems to have become the real breakthrough for 1987 cartoonverse fan fiction I've been waiting for for years.