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Old 01-22-2016, 05:00 PM   #1
Commenter 42
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McG to direct He-Man

And you thought I was angry about PDMT.

I've been told (from a very reliable source) they're hiring the GD team from TMNT to design the characters. The folks behind such classics as I, Frankenstein, Pixels, Gods of Egypt, and Jupiter Ascending.

Hell hath no fury kids...
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Old 01-22-2016, 05:03 PM   #2
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Fu*king sh*t.
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Old 01-22-2016, 05:09 PM   #3
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Sorry, He-Man fans.
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Old 01-22-2016, 06:22 PM   #4
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Yeah, I heard earlier today. Pretty much the worst news I've gotten in years.

I blame PD's TMNT movie entirely for this, you understand. Take a property people passionately love, hand it off to people who don't care about it, let them do "their version" of it, subtract plot and backstory, add explosions, and watch the rubes eat it up with a shovel. "It worked for those guys," was definitely the thinking here. F*cking DAMN IT.

He-Man's like one of my three favorite things of all time. Frankly, I don't give a tiny sh*t about TMNT, if compared to how much I love He-Man. And a ton of stuff I've been hearing over the last few years has been spotty, but promising. I actually had hope for this.

That'll teach me. That's what we get, when a piece of sh*t like PD TMNT makes $600 million; "It's just a stupid 80s toy, the movie's just a stupid commercial, who gives a sh*t?" Thanks, guys. Thanks a f*cking LOT. Now MY thing gets to be sh*tty and awful. You can all burn for it.

Yeah I'm not happy. You can say I'm not happy.
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Old 01-22-2016, 06:31 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Commenter 42 View Post
I, Frankenstein, Pixels, Gods of Egypt, and Jupiter Ascending..
AKA some of the most terrible films from the past couple of years.

I've never been exposed to He-Man, but I feel really bad for anyone who enjoys the show.
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Old 01-22-2016, 06:37 PM   #6
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This movie has been in development hell forever. I'd be shocked if it ever gets made.
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Old 01-22-2016, 08:42 PM   #7
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Annnnnd this would be the bad points to of today.... The original movie will suddenly be heralded as an epic film... lol
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Old 01-22-2016, 08:50 PM   #8
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Jupiter Ascending was amazing, but it was ridiculous. It was just my kind of ridiculous. Those other movies were not made with someone like me in mind, so I think you guys might be on your own.

But let's be honest, he-man really was about a leather daddy fighting a skeleton so maybe it'll be okay?
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Old 01-22-2016, 09:05 PM   #9
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Oh noooo!

This is just going to crash and burn like a poorly manned firework.

Kind of have to laugh at how pitiful this is going to turn out.
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Old 01-22-2016, 09:18 PM   #10
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He-Man just doesn't work as live action, it would need a very wild re-imagining for it to work which fans would never accept.
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Old 01-22-2016, 09:23 PM   #11
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That's true...we know how well the last live-action attempt went.
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Old 01-22-2016, 09:27 PM   #12
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Bullsh*t, conceptually it's just Conan plus Star Wars. Don't be stupid. "Can't work in live action." Please. You take two types of movies that make tons of money, and you marry them, you should have a concept worth ALL the money. Math, f*ckers.

It can work a million different ways, it just has to be made by someone who wants to take it seriously and not make fun of it. Which is asking too much of Hollywood right now insofar as anything based on anything from the 1980s. Lots of things that could be really good are being done terribly because Hollywood learns the exact wrong lesson from every single "success". Half-assed sh*t like Transformers and TMNT make money, so they figure, "This sh*t's easy, all we have to do is hit the catchphrases, and occasionally stop to point out how silly and insipid this whole thing we're doing is. People will forgive stupidity and lack of effort if we convince them it's entirely on purpose." And people pay to see those movies knowing they'll be terrible, and then you get a movie like f*cking JEM, because that's about as hard as the people making these movies now think they need to try.

Conan plus Star Wars. It should be the easiest and most goddamn epic thing ever made. I'd write and direct the goddamn thing for free. It should be impossible to f*ck up, not impossible to get right.
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Old 01-22-2016, 11:06 PM   #13
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Jupiter Ascending was amazing, but it was ridiculous. It was just my kind of ridiculous.
The idea could've been something. (I just netflixed it a week ago, so it's fresh), but the script was, well it's what the Wachowskis do now - long on needless exposition, short on sensible film making.

There were some big ideas, stuff that could have been great to explore - but so much talkie talkie to get to the good stuff. T'was a movie in need of an editor.

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But let's be honest, he-man really was about a leather daddy fighting a skeleton so maybe it'll be okay?
Y'all may hate Tosh, but his He-man musical is the best thing, ever.


With an ex Menudo as the titular character, bears playing Man-at-arms and other Eternians, and Tosh as Skeletor...



McG can't possibly do better. I mean, which A-lister is willing to be Fist-O?

WARNING:
Contains hilarity.

http://tosh.cc.com/video-clips/743wy...eo%2BBreakdown
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Old 01-23-2016, 12:07 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plastroncafe View Post
Jupiter Ascending was amazing, but it was ridiculous. It was just my kind of ridiculous. Those other movies were not made with someone like me in mind, so I think you guys might be on your own.

But let's be honest, he-man really was about a leather daddy fighting a skeleton so maybe it'll be okay?
Was never big on He-Man so I kinda agree. Other than Skeletor berating his minions I never really bothered to watch.
But now I wanna see Jupiter Ascending.
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Old 01-23-2016, 12:32 AM   #15
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Well, now I know exactly which godless heathens are getting a f*cking voodoo doll made in their likeness. Good thing I'm snowed in all weekend with lots of bitter hatred and free time.

But seriously, if you feel any sudden stabbing pains, F*CKING GOOD FOR YOU.
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Old 01-23-2016, 12:40 AM   #16
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@Shuriken

He-Man is, actually, the best thing ever. It has everything you could possibly want in fantasy. It's equal parts LOTR, Franzetta, Flash Gordon, King Arthur, Conan, Dune, The Seven Seals and Star Wars.
Done right...and I mean George Miller/JJ. Abrams/Luc Besson on their best days, it would make ALL the money; not a lot or a bunch, but actually all of it.

A Brittish billion.

#fact
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Old 01-23-2016, 12:44 AM   #17
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Can I hug you? Because nobody's ever really gotten it so hard before. I want to cry. Seriously.

"...I thought *I* was the only one...!" It's like that, that's what I'm feeling right now.
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Old 01-23-2016, 12:50 AM   #18
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Can I hug you? Because nobody's ever really gotten it so hard before. I want to cry. Seriously.

"...I thought *I* was the only one...!" It's like that, that's what I'm feeling right now.
When people ask me why I got into film, He-Man was always the answer...It's the one film I KNOW I could make the hell out of. My Superman film would have been good, but He-Man; it's everything a Fantasy film should be.
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Old 01-23-2016, 01:17 AM   #19
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And it's amazing and saddening to me that people don't Get It. It's like anyone who didn't grow up watching it dismisses it as "What's to like" And I'm like, "What's NOT to like?" It's got literally everything that's awesome in it. Warriors and wizards and dragons and monsters and magic swords and buff protagonists and scantily-clad heroines AND spaceships and robots and... why isn't this stuff mandatory viewing for all kids, again? I don't get it.

But I guess it's worthless because it happened to be made by an animation company that operated on a shoestring budget, while nonetheless mastering the art of Rotoscoping. People nowadays look at Filmation and they're like, "What a bunch of dollar store horse sh*t," but y'know what I see? A company that made the absolute most out of every single thing they could. They brought an entire universe to life - several, really, lots of their shows were successful and popular - with piles of stock footage and a total of about three voice actors for every show. People now go, "Man, people must have been stupid to sit through that," as if we didn't notice. WE DIDN'T CARE! The characters and the stories were enthralling and exciting in SPITE of the shoestring production values; kids just considered it part of the package, and most really loved it. They loved that it was the same shot of He-Man punching someone every time, and they especially loved the transformation sequence. It never changed once in 130 episodes, but it was every single kid's favorite part. Didn't matter that we'd seen it (and acted it out, don't lie) a thousand times; we weren't all spoiled brats yet.

And even beyond that, you had those amaaaaaazing mini-comics that came with the first batch of figures... the ones produced by DC before the storyline had been completed, where the whole thing was much more "Conan" and taken a lot more seriously. Those things were just tops.

And I mean, not for nothing, but the whole thing is a LOT deeper than people give it credit for. Even when it was "just" the mini-comics and the cartoon, you had a ton of mythology there, even going back thousands of years to "Preternia" and He-Ro and "Powers of Grayskull" and all that stuff near the end of the toyline's popularity. But now there's not only the 2003 update, but with the Matty Collector figures they've gone and merged the originals, New Adventures, the film universe, and 2003 into one cohesive mythology, plus added a ton of stuff to give the saga a proper "ending" of sorts with The Ultimate Battleground. It's really all quite epic.

People who are so readily dismissive of it really have no idea what they're talking about. "Ohhh, cheaply-made kiddie cartoon! Stock animation! Homo-erotic subtext!" Yeah, whatever, blow it out your ass, you myopic swine.

It absolutely rivals anything else in the fantasy/sci-fi genres, 100%. If anything, it's like Lord of the Rings for people who aren't COMPLETELY insufferable nerds.
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Old 01-23-2016, 01:39 AM   #20
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