Writer's Corner

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Wrote the first third of Chapter 8 Sunday night. It came out great; the ship's doctor and the ship's captain all up in each other's business. Man, every time I start talking about my current novel, it just continually amazes me how much every single character hates every other character. It's the most dysfunctional cast ever.

Also, my wife finally read the whole of what I've written of it so far, and loves it. She laughed at all the right parts, which is nice.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Sounds great! I know it's been a while, but I was a little bummed that no one offered any feedback on that opener I posted earlier. Thoughts? It contains a few spoilers for the ending to LIS, but I figure it's not enough to ruin it for anyone.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

Sounds great! I know it's been a while, but I was a little bummed that no one offered any feedback on that opener I posted earlier. Thoughts? It contains a few spoilers for the ending to LIS, but I figure it's not enough to ruin it for anyone.

Well written, but entirely NOT my cup of tea. Or coffee. Or raktajino. First-person Turtle narration is cool... I did like that.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Ah, thanks. What part didn't you like? Just curious what you meant by not your cup'a. Tone, subject, or other? BTW, the narrative is from the OC's POV, not one of the turtles. Though I DO use Mikey and even Don's POV from time to time through their respective journals. I'm thinking of adding Leo's this time around, too.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

Ah, thanks. What part didn't you like? Just curious what you meant by not your cup'a. Tone, subject, or other? BTW, the narrative is from the OC's POV, not one of the turtles. Though I DO use Mikey and even Don's POV from time to time through their respective journals. I'm thinking of adding Leo's this time around, too.

Subject. Turtles getting human mutations, hooking up... nope.

I don't mind Turtles hooking up with whoever they can, as sexuality is a natural evolution of their characters once they're adults, but turning into partial humans is just a little too "fangirly" for me.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Leading by example:

Spoiler:

“Captain, you and I need to talk,” Doctor Macintosh announced, stepping into the captain’s office to find her commanding officer staring out the porthole at the starfield beyond.
Winters didn’t turn from the porthole, her hands clasped behind her back as she stood motionless. “Well, Doctor, if we’re going to talk, please come in all the way and seal the door behind.”
Macintosh stepped over the threshold, looking around the office as the door automatically slid shut behind her. The captain’s office was austere and impersonal; there were no medals, photographs, or memorabilia adoring the walls; no objet d'art or sculptures, no model ships or award for valor; no remembrances of former crew or family.
Cold, impersonal, and distant… just like the person herself, Macintosh frowned.
“So, Doctor.” Winters still didn’t turn to face her visitor. “I do hope this isn’t another of your ill-informed human rights’ complaints… so far, you’re the only crewmember to give me any real trouble.”
“So far,” Macintosh bristled defensively, “I’m the only crewmember to give a damn about anyone else on this ship! As captain, the crew is your responsibility. Nobody trusts each other; at best they avoid or barely tolerate each other, but most of them hate each other. How in the world are we supposed to function as a team like this? You’re a captain—you’re supposed to lead by example!”
Shaking her head in disgust, Winters turned around to face her medical officer. “Doctor, leading by example is exactly what I’ve been doing. I don’t give a damn about any of you, and neither should you.”

[MsMarvelDuckie]

I get ya'. It's a concept that's not for everyone, to be sure. The whole idea sprang from the OT ep with the mutagen cookies that made Mikey human (but nearly blew him up). I just sort of ran with it, and had Donatello tinker with the formula to allow them to have a (semi) normal life in the open, at least as long as the effects last. Being able to start families was sort of an incidental effect. It does have drawbacks though. The biggest is that it only lasts for up to 12 hrs at a time, but "shifting" also puts a strain on their bodies that shortens their life-span by several hours every time they do it. Might not seem like much, but it would add up over time. Strenuous activity makes it harder to keep up the disguise.

The story mostly focuses on how difficult it is for them to maintain their secret, with Bishop harrassing them and Pimiko and Kazuo out for revenge. The first one dealt with Michelangelo's desire for freedom, acceptance and love, and his and Raph's developing resentment of their lot in life- hence the reason they chose to try Don's "new and improved" formula. The "hook-ups" are almost all with OT canon character pairings. (Lotus, Mona Lisa, and Irma- the last is a sort of "surprise" that I came up with based on the interactions between them in the Turtle Snatchers and Degree eps.)

One of the things I wanted to do with this series was to show how Mikey isn't always just the jokester and slacker with the carefree attitude that he pretends to be. Had to dig a little deeper, but I really enjoyed getting into his head to find the "real" Michelangelo, as it were. His moments of bitterness, lonliness, and philospohical insight. Most of what I used for that came from the third movie, a few eps from the OT, and a couple of Mirage stories. LIS did that with his journals, and a couple of confessions he made to other characters. I hope to do something similar with the other three, especially Donnie, who usually gets the short shaft on that in most versions.

[Amaranthus]

I write godawful poetry.
Sup?
Here's a link.
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1393536

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by Amaranthus

I write godawful poetry.
Sup?
Here's a link.
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1393536

That's some moody stuff, Am! Very well written! I'm impressed.

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

I get ya'. It's a concept that's not for everyone, to be sure. The whole idea sprang from the OT ep with the mutagen cookies that made Mikey human (but nearly blew him up). I just sort of ran with it, and had Donatello tinker with the formula to allow them to have a (semi) normal life in the open, at least as long as the effects last. Being able to start families was sort of an incidental effect. It does have drawbacks though. The biggest is that it only lasts for up to 12 hrs at a time, but "shifting" also puts a strain on their bodies that shortens their life-span by several hours every time they do it. Might not seem like much, but it would add up over time. Strenuous activity makes it harder to keep up the disguise.

The story mostly focuses on how difficult it is for them to maintain their secret, with Bishop harassing them and Pimiko and Kazuo out for revenge. The first one dealt with Michelangelo's desire for freedom, acceptance and love, and his and Raph's developing resentment of their lot in life- hence the reason they chose to try Don's "new and improved" formula. The "hook-ups" are almost all with OT canon character pairings. (Lotus, Mona Lisa, and Irma- the last is a sort of "surprise" that I came up with based on the interactions between them in the Turtle Snatchers and Degree eps.)

One of the things I wanted to do with this series was to show how Mikey isn't always just the jokester and slacker with the carefree attitude that he pretends to be. Had to dig a little deeper, but I really enjoyed getting into his head to find the "real" Michelangelo, as it were. His moments of bitterness, loneliness, and philosophical insight. Most of what I used for that came from the third movie, a few eps from the OT, and a couple of Mirage stories. LIS did that with his journals, and a couple of confessions he made to other characters. I hope to do something similar with the other three, especially Donnie, who usually gets the short shaft on that in most versions.

I like the sentiments and stuff, especially the bitterness and resentment, I just don't care for the human morphing stuff. Didn't know there was an OT episode with that. It smacks too much of fangirl wish-fulfillment to me. Not that YOU are doing that, but in general, that's what it feels like based on other stuff I've read before.

Really interesting ideas, though! Hey, you ever do anymore with the story where Splinter is evil and the Turtles are damaged broken killers? I was loving that story...

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Anyone read the "leading by example" excerpt?

[Amaranthus]

Thanks. I'm trying to work a little more with syllables and non-rhyme. No idea how to get started, to be honest. Maybe I should try it in my native language first.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by Amaranthus

Thanks. I'm trying to work a little more with syllables and non-rhyme. No idea how to get started, to be honest. Maybe I should try it in my native language first.

It might be easier. Wow, you bilingual guys are amazing. Wish I'd paid more attention to my second language classes in school...

[Amaranthus]

Originally Posted by CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy

It might be easier. Wow, you bilingual guys are amazing. Wish I'd paid more attention to my second language classes in school...

I learned English from cartoons and internet. I barely study for English tests and my English teacher (who is also my Dutch teacher) loves my poems in both languages) says I write at a pretty high level.
So yeah.
I even got a logo (writing insignia) made a while ago. It was originally for music I'd be making, but I don't like making music so I'm using it for my writing.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by Amaranthus

I learned English from cartoons and internet. I barely study for English tests and my English teacher (who is also my Dutch teacher) loves my poems in both languages) says I write at a pretty high level.
So yeah.
I even got a logo (writing insignia) made a while ago. It was originally for music I'd be making, but I don't like making music so I'm using it for my writing.

Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't bother studying. I usually forget you're not in the US.

Let's see the logo! Don't tease!

[Amaranthus]

Originally Posted by CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy

Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't bother studying. I usually forget you're not in the US.

Let's see the logo! Don't tease!

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by Amaranthus

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/draw/...a019df499c1d86

Copyright that, man. That's great!

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy

That's some moody stuff, Am! Very well written! I'm impressed.



I like the sentiments and stuff, especially the bitterness and resentment, I just don't care for the human morphing stuff. Didn't know there was an OT episode with that. It smacks too much of fangirl wish-fulfillment to me. Not that YOU are doing that, but in general, that's what it feels like based on other stuff I've read before.

Really interesting ideas, though! Hey, you ever do anymore with the story where Splinter is evil and the Turtles are damaged broken killers? I was loving that story...

That's cool. I guess with the romance angle it probably comes off that way. The funny thing is that his wish to do so was straight out of the ep. It was "The Gang's All Here" one of my favorite Mikey eps due to the fact that it deals with his character a bit more deeply than most. That one and Michelangelo's Birthday are two of the best Mikey eps, IMHO.

I've been working on that Mirror-verse one off and on, though I've hit a small snag with the actual break-in that leads to the final battle. It's a little sticky, and I wanted to show just how brutal they are without losing the audience's sympathy. Tricky situation.

Originally Posted by CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy

Anyone read the "leading by example" excerpt?

I read it, and liked what I saw. The captain sounds like a bit of an uncaring b*tch. Seems like an odd position for someone who has no concern for the people in their charge.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

That's cool. I guess with the romance angle it probably comes off that way. The funny thing is that his wish to do so was straight out of the ep. It was "The Gang's All Here" one of my favorite Mikey eps due to the fact that it deals with his character a bit more deeply than most. That one and Michelangelo's Birthday are two of the best Mikey eps, IMHO.

I've been working on that Mirror-verse one off and on, though I've hit a small snag with the actual break-in that leads to the final battle. It's a little sticky, and I wanted to show just how brutal they are without losing the audience's sympathy. Tricky situation.

I read it, and liked what I saw. The captain sounds like a bit of an uncaring b*tch. Seems like an odd position for someone who has no concern for the people in their charge.

Yeah, I'm one of those TMNT fans who wants nothing to do with Fred Wolf. I grudgingly respect it, but I can't enjoy it anymore.

Based on what you've already shown with Splinter, Duckie, I don't think you have to worry about losing audience sympathy. If you want to discuss more on that, I'd be happy to offer further opinions...

Captain Winters is not "a bit of an uncaring b!tch." She is an uncaring b!tch, through and through. And there are definite reasons to her aloofness, pertaining to the mission at hand and her own backstory. She's just a sociopath leading a crew of sociopaths.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

That's okay. I understand that some fans aren't as fond of that version, but I've found that goofiness aside, it still has plenty of potential to mine for ideas. The many aliens, mutants, mobsters and mad scientists and their varied schemes are great for finding fun material to play around with. It just takes a more serious approach and a little tweaking to make it work.

Thanks for the offer. Did you have any specific ideas? I left off with the cinfrontation with Lotus on a rooftop before they reached the target.

I kind of got that vibe from the scene you shared, but didn't want to assume too much based on one small scene. Sounds like a ship full of crazies. I LOVE it!

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

That's okay. I understand that some fans aren't as fond of that version, but I've found that goofiness aside, it still has plenty of potential to mine for ideas. The many aliens, mutants, mobsters and mad scientists and their varied schemes are great for finding fun material to play around with. It just takes a more serious approach and a little tweaking to make it work.

Thanks for the offer. Did you have any specific ideas? I left off with the cinfrontation with Lotus on a rooftop before they reached the target.

I kind of got that vibe from the scene you shared, but didn't want to assume too much based on one small scene. Sounds like a ship full of crazies. I LOVE it!

I think the mutants and Dimension X stuff are good source material to reuse (IDW!) but their generic mobsters and mad scientists are not anything I remember fondly. Other TMNT versions have done scientists (Mirage/4Kids Baxter) and mobsters (Image Volume 3 Big Tony) much better IMO.

At the moment, I haven't read it in probably a year. But if you want to send me a quick PM of what the sides are in a potential conflict and who might become casualties, I can provide a couple of suggestions or feedback.

Yeah, it's a ship full of sociopathic antisocial self-absorbed killers who hate each other but all volunteered to work together. Most fun characters I've ever written, honestly.