How were you punished as a kid?

[Leo656]

Originally Posted by FredWolfLeonardo

Agree to Disagree there. It all comes down to our worldviews regarding what is inherently valuable and meaningful.

Do I believe abuse is wrong? Yes, but I think there are certain degrees of respect everyone deserves regardless of what they have done, by virtue of who or what they are. And parents by that definition are always worthy of respectful treatment by their children in my book.

Nope. Wrong. No "agree to disagree" or "with all due respect." Sometimes, people are just wrong. This is one of those times. You're wrong.

Here's two uncomfortable facts: Nobody asked to be born, and statistically, most kids are accidents. And among the many, many people who in fact WISH they were never born, much of the time, at least one of their two "DNA Donors" is in fact the main reason why they feel that way.

Many parents beat, insult, threaten, steal from, molest, rape, and altogether abuse their children. Not ONE of those people deserves even the tiniest modicum of respect. Not as a so-called "parent", or even a human being. You don't get a pass that absolves you of all your sins, just because you spunked inside of someone or were on the receiving end of same. I know some cultures and religions teach that you DO, or SHOULD, get that "pass"; not shockingly, those cultures have astronomically high levels of parental or familial abuse. Gee, it's almost as if they teach you that your parents are beyond judgment or reproach, and that you have to love and respect them no matter what, just so they can keep getting away with the abuse! Funny how that works, isn't it?

"You have to respect your parents no matter what" is the main thing an abuser will repeat over and over to justify their abuse, often WHILE the act of abuse is occurring. It's bullsh*t. It doesn't wash.

Many parents in my family were severely abusive. As a result, a lot of the children grew up to have serious mental illness. Some of them self-harm, a couple of them killed themselves, and several threatened or tried to. And in every case, at some point, there was an abusive parent screaming "I'm your mother/father! You HAVE to respect me! You wouldn't even BE here if it wasn't for me!" As if it was a favor, and we should be grateful for the living hell they delivered us into, when none of us even had a choice, and if we did, it's unlikely we would have chosen any of what we got.

Just to be clear, I do make a distinction between kids getting hit or spanked and full-blown abuse. I actually think spanking and the like, within reason, is actually kind of necessary. But if you're punching your kids in the face or throwing bottles at their head, you've crossed the line and no longer deserve any respect, as a parent or otherwise. To say nothing of sexual abuse and the like. If a guy rapes his daughter, she shouldn't "respect" him, and he shouldn't be allowed to keep breathing. "But he's her father!" Who HONESTLY f*cking cares, in that scenario?! At that point WHAT the f*ck does it MATTER that he's her father? Doesn't it matter MORE that he's a worthless scumbag? Come ON.

This should be pretty cut and dry. I don't know why it still isn't, for some people. People do NOT deserve automatic respect and admiration, just for being "parents", if they are in fact garbage human beings. To say they DO only enables abuse, and kind of makes you a bad person.

Sorry, but it's a pretty black-and-white scenario. People shouldn't enable abuse by coming up with loopholes for it.

Have a nice day.