Age gap in dating

[Prowler]

So, age gap in dating. How many years is too much for you?

As a 27 year old guy, I'm still at an age where a significant age gap can still be rather noticeable and an obstacle, so I'm gonna say I can't see myself getting in a relationship with a woman under 23 years old. As for older than me, I don't think I'd want a big age gap either. If she is 29-30 it's fine, but above that, no. Ideally I want someone born in 1990 just like me, so 27-28 years old, then.

What about you, 'Dromers?

[Utrommaniac]

My parents have a 14 year gap in their ages.

My mom was in her late 20's and my dad was in his early 40's when they met winter of 1991 at a Christmas party (my mom's uncle worked with my dad, and he invited him to the family gathering), got married in April 1992, and I was born June 1993. I'm told their meeting was absolute fireworks. The really interesting thing about it is that my dad was planning to go to Florida to live, but instead decided to stay in Texas with my mom. He even tried to visit her at work a few times only to be told she was on a family trip. (And that's where several of our mugs came from, including my introduction to The Far Side)


So of course I don't have a lot of room to take issue with it, but I do think there's a line not to cross. Basically, it's okay to date someone old enough to be have been your teenage sibling at your birth, rather than your parent.

[IndigoErth]

I've always preferred no more than a few years difference. Three years on average, up to five might be okay... beyond that, prefer not, but it would probably really depend on the person.

Only thing that has changed really is that while I previously always preferred that a guy be my age or older, now that I'm way too quickly approaching the next decade I don't even want to think about, in the last year or so I've started to become okay with the idea of a guy being a little younger... lol But not cougar territory, noo no no. Even then, just a few years younger tops. (Really hating that a 30-year-old sounds too young. Where the heck did the years ago.)

[Jester]

Not that I agree or disagree, but there's a “half your age plus seven” rule out there.

[IndigoErth]

Wow, hadn't thought of that one in a long time. And that math worked out SO much better years ago.

Now... that would be a 26-year-old. Even if he was mature enough, I couldn't do that. He needs to go be with some young thing his age that he can discover the world and grow old with together, not just watch me get old. I'd just look like one of those people desperate to remain young.

Alternately, if I was the younger one, that would mean getting with a 64-year-old man.

Ewwww. NO. Not until I'm that age myself! lol

[Andrew NDB]

As I get older I care a little less. I don't care if there is a 15 year gap... but I wonder... why you would be OK with a 15 year old gap? As a person.

[CyberCubed]

The reason people don't like decade gaps because it's creepy thinking that when you were in High School you were dating someone who was still in Kindergarten at the time. Like even if you're both adults now, there's that nagging feeling.

[DarkFell]

My parents met & married within a two-year age gap. My grandparents also did the same thing.

For me personally, my mileage has varied but I do try to stay within my age range, but I can also stray a bit from it.
The mid thirties - mid forties age range is alright with me.

[Andrew NDB]

My parents had almost a precise 10 year gap.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by Jester

Not that I agree or disagree, but there's a “half your age plus seven” rule out there.

So this means dating a 20-21 year old would be fine for me? Eh, I don't think I could do it. I'd rather she was at least 23 years old. Don't want someone who is about seven years younger than me. My brother is seven years older than me and it shows.

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

My parents had almost a precise 10 year gap.

My dad is... about 3 years younger than my mother, I think?

[plastroncafe]

I think once you pass a certain age, it's more about stage in life than it is calendar pages.

Rare is the 21 year old who's at the same stage in life as a 30 year old.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

I think once you pass a certain age, it's more about stage in life than it is calendar pages.

Rare is the 21 year old who's at the same stage in life as a 30 year old.

Yeah, that's where I'm getting at. And that shows in most people when it comes to maturity, responsibility and other things, in general. I'm definitely not 100% like I was when I was 20 years old.

Although, once you're old enough, a 7-8 year gap no longer seems like much, I'm guessing. A 55 year old and a 62 year old probably aren't too different or at too different stages in life from each other.

I do find it odd how some people can date and marry people who are like two decades or more younger/older than them. As in those old men who date women in their 20s. If you're 70 and above I doubt you have the same energy or can even get an erection anymore, so what's the point of having a hot 25 year old gf at that point?

[IndigoErth]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

The reason people don't like decade gaps because it's creepy thinking that when you were in High School you were dating someone who was still in Kindergarten at the time. Like even if you're both adults now, there's that nagging feeling.

While the thought is a little odd, personally it's more what Plastron said.

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

I think once you pass a certain age, it's more about stage in life than it is calendar pages.

Rare is the 21 year old who's at the same stage in life as a 30 year old.

Hate to say it, but in particular if someone is over 35 and with a young 20 something, I can't but help assuming he/she is either a weirdo who specifically likes 'em young, or a rather immature adult capable of relating to someone so young.

I'm sure some couples have been the exception, but still... there had to be an unusual amount of maturity from the younger one and visa versa for the older. (Both mentally 30-year-olds? lol) Having had young 20s coworkers... god no. Their behavior and priorities are not even that of an older 20s.

[newfan]

If there's a couple who are happy and right for each other then who cares if there's a 10-year-gap. I did find the 22-year-old girl I once knew of dating a guy nearing 60 a bit too much though.
I would maybe date someone 10 years older if I was attracted to them and it seemed right, but I'd have more issues if they were 10 years younger.
As pointed out already, the gap can close a little as people get older.
Some people you just meet and click with even if they don't meet what you think are want.

[plastroncafe]

So long as they're both/all on the same page, and entering into the relationship as a fully consenting adult, let their freak flags fly!

However, when there's a power dynamic at play, that keeps the people involved from entering into a relationship as fully consenting...yeah, that's squicktastic.

[Mayhem]

One of my girlfriends was 16 years younger than me... much more mature for her age, definitely. All the others, yeah within a couple years of my own age.

[MrPliggins]

I don't mind an up to 10 year age gap at my age (40). It really depends on your age, because as you get older, age gaps seem less and less. When I was 23 I would've wanted to keep within 3 years or so. I will say I've met women 15 years younger than me who are more mature and independent than some women my own age.

[Krutch]

I dated a few girls 10+ years younger than me. It's fine.

[ssjup81]

My parents are the same age. My grandmother, though had two husbands. The first one was 10 years older and the second one was 20 years older. It's strange to me. I guess it's hard to fathom what a couple that's many years apart would have in common, especially when it comes to life in general. Someone who is 40 will have way more life experience than say a 20-year-old. Seems you'd be drawn to those who you can relate to on that level...but to each his or her own.

Originally Posted by Krutch

I dated a few girls 10+ years younger than me. It's fine.

What about a woman 10+ older?

[BartAllen]

Personally, I don't go 5 years in either direction. My last two girlfriends have both been 4 and 5 years younger than me.

That said, I think once is everyone is over 30 than the larger age gaps aren't as bad. I do think it's kind of gross when I see a 40 year old dating a 20 year old. Just seems. I don't know... It's obvious she's looking for a sugar daddy.