Found My "Coming Out Of Their Shells" Tour Guide

[Leo656]

So I remember this comes up in conversation every now and again, and I kept promising to post pictures of the thing if and when I ever found it again, given how much confusion there's been about the various different Program Books and Tour Guides and so forth and so on for this show. Lo and behold, I found it yesterday in a box with some He-Man books and other stuff.

Once again, anyone who had it, feel free to chime in. Anyone who's never seen it, enjoy. Sorry the edges are cropped off in spots, if anyone REALLY insists I can take better pictures later. I just took these really fast before I forgot about it.

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SO. This was what came with the original Pizza Hut promotion; I believe it was for a personal pan pizza or something, and for a small nominal fee you'd also get this Tour Guide book and the "Coming Out of Their Shells" cassette tape. My Dad surprised me with this one day; we lived nowhere near a Pizza Hut, but he somehow heard about this promotion and went out of his way on his way home from work one time just so he could surprise me with this. He was great with sh*t like that sometimes.

I'm not sure if there were different books printed for different areas or what. If you lived in central NJ then this was what you got. I can attest that I was the one and only kid in my small town who had this, because again, the closest Pizza Hut was a good 30+ minutes away and literally every single person in Jamesburg would just as soon go to DiBrizzi's instead since they were an institution for decades. TMNT was popular, but pretty much nobody's Dad but mine was gonna make an hour round-trip drive and bring home lukewarm pizza JUST so their kid could have a cassette tape of the Ninja Turtles "singing" bad rap songs about pizza. I don't even think anyone else in that town even had the cassette tape, let alone this book. For a while I was pretty much the king of "Whoa, where'd you get that?!" kinda stuff among kids in my town; like I said, my Dad was cool like that. Least while he was still relatively sober.

I confess that I DID actually go see the show at Six Flags Great Adventure the following Summer. It was incredibly cheesy but a lot of fun. I was like, 8, I didn't care. My best friend came along for the hell of it and he was like 12, and the poor guy thus had to accompany me to the "concert". He liked TMNT just fine but this was a bit "kiddie" for someone almost a teenager, I can imagine now. That said, for as much as he tried to "play it cool" all day beforehand and act like this whole thing was gonna be ridiculous - which it was - he nonetheless still let himself get caught up in the moment once the show actually started and had a lot of fun with it. That's the magic of "Turtle Power", I guess. We were in the first or second row, pretty easy to get swept up in the heat of things I imagine.

It's objectively a terrible show, especially in hindsight, but it was an absolute blast if you were actually there. And I think maybe two or three songs aren't entirely godawful. Although most of them are definitely worthless. I think "Cowabunga" might just be the very worst "song" ever recorded throughout the entirety of human (or turtle) history. Although Yoko Onoo might have something to say about that. Tough call!
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Notes about the book:
- Very odd juxtaposition on the very first two pages with the FW cartoon artwork and the movie-inspired artwork sharing the real estate. As hard as it may be to reconcile, in a lot of TMNT media at the time the movies and cartoons WERE meant to be seen as part of the same "universe", despite pretty much nothing about any of that working at all. Again, kids were not expected to think about it so hard. Still, it's a bit odd to see here.

- One would think Leo, being "the leader", would play lead guitar and front the band. Even as a kid that bothered me, as it was quite obvious that Mikey was made the lead singer/musician simply because he was the most popular with little kids. In-story, I can definitely see Mikey being the most enthusiastic about the entire project, but... eh.

- I really do love the movie-inspired artwork throughout most of it, and it only reinforces my notion that this is the way the TMNT should always be drawn. They just look good in any context, even such a ridiculous one as this.

- You'll notice that for SOME reason, in multiple places the printed lyrics DO NOT match the actual song lyrics, with some parts being moved around and others omitting entire bars completely. Especially (and most egregiously) in multiple places where the word "don't" is replaced by the name "Donatello", turning what's already barely-comprehensible lyrics into total gibberish. Very, very sloppy, and even as a kid I noticed and was quite annoyed. Half of those printed lyrics for "Cowabunga" aren't even in the song at all! What, was the original version gonna be like 8 minutes long? It's the worst song on the record! Jesus!

For what it's worth, the printed lyrics in the cassette sleeve ALSO contain multiple errors, albeit completely different ones. Neither set of printed lyrics are accurate but they also don't repeat mistakes, they just made new ones. Where was the QC on this project?

- I'd be more annoyed about "wasting" most of two pages on teaching kids how to properly speak "Turtle Slang" rather than more actual song lyrics... IF not for the fact that they would probably have botched the printing of those lyrics, anyways.

- As a kid I was quite upset that no NJ shows were advertised, even in the "Coming in 1991" section, as you can see. But during the Summer of '91 they did run the show at Six Flags here and in many other places. Many shows not listed in this original guide were added after the initially advertised ones were so successful. Kind of hard to believe what a juggernaut this stupid thing was. But it was huge! It went on for way longer than anyone expected, beyond all reason and common sense.

- The cover AND the poster both suffer for trying to "blend" the FW art with the movie-inspired art. Some of the faces on the poster in particular are quite terrible, with all that distortion and "stretching" and whatnot. Poor Donnie looks horrible. I never hung this up, you can see why. Could've been good if they'd kept with the movie-inspired art on the rest of the interior instead of trying to do a "best of both" kinda thing.

- Paper "keyboard". Aye-yi-YI.

- What a ridiculous "mask" on the back cover. It's not even facing forward, but rather a 3/4 view, AND the paper is so cheap that any kid who actually tried to attach string to it would tear it in five seconds. Furthermore, it's not even well thought-out because cutting out the mask would in turn destroy part of the Fan Club certificate they wanted you to cut out and send in. What rubes.
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On the whole, it's not an altogether bad little piece of business, although it's definitely not very well thought-out from a design perspective. The sloppiness and/or inconsistency in the art, design, and misprints is annoying. But it got the job done in advertising the show and making little kids excited about it. That's really all it was intended to do.

Point of fact, I more or less learned how to draw the TMNT by copying the movie-inspired art from this very book, over and over again. Those bits are easily the highlight of the entire project. They still look great, even today. The rest of the art, not so much, but those drawings or whatever of the movie Turtles look fantastic.

SO, there it is. Anybody else ever have this thing, or seen it before? Hopefully this has been enlightening and maybe a little bit entertaining as well.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Raphael playing a saxophone.

I can die happy now.

[Leo656]

And then they immediately switched him to drums with only the slightest bit of explanation! I don't even recall there being much saxophone on that record! There definitely was a little but not much as I remember. They put this entire project together and only AFTER did they realize, "Whoops, they don't have a drummer." Which is kind of important for any band to have!

The on-camera explanation was, Raph being Raph did not consider the fact that he could not play sax and sing at the same time, therefore he switched to drums. I may be mistaken as to which show it was, but this was explained on either Oprah or one of those live action TV appearances they made to hype this whole thing.

Points for in-universe, in-character explanations for the shortsighted gaffes of the production crew, I suppose. I just can't help but laugh at the fact that nobody realized there was no drummer until AFTER they recorded, produced, and advertised the goddamn thing for months. Jesus!

[oldmanwinters]

Here's complete scans of my the Pizza Hut tour guide, if you're interested:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-Wi...ew?usp=sharing

[Musashi]

Thanks for letting us see that. Some lovely artwork, particularly of the movie-style Turtles. Significant that it doesn't show you the actual versions that would be appearing on stage...? Probably the costumes weren't even made yet, I suppose.

Don't know if this show ever actually toured in the UK, but I can imagine the reaction from my family if I had wanted to go see it - I was into the Turtles, but - say it had happened some time in 1991 - I'd have been 13. My dad grudged accompanying me to Transformers: The Movie when I was 8!

[IndigoErth]

That's awesome, thanks for sharing. Never had nor saw one, despite being just the opposite and had (and still have) a Pizza Hut near enough we could have walked there.

Nearest it ever played was probably Philly (like everything...) and our shared closest Six Flags/Great Adventure, so not a chance in hell for me. Googled it and looks like the Philly stop was even the week of Christmas and the last show on New Years Eve. What terrible dates! Even if I'd have ever been allowed to see that thing, there's no way my parents would have agreed to go up to Philly that week anyhow. And Great Adventure is too much of a hike and was only rare visits; not been in many years.

I don't really even have much memory of it even being a thing back then. I'm sure we probably got some ads for it, since we've always shared tv broadcast with Philly and south Jersey, but was probably going to be an automatic no. (Never got to see the movies in theater either, so... Don't think I ever expected this to happen.)

That awesome that you have those mementos though and got to see it, even if it was probably as bad as you say. lol

[Leo656]

We used to have some photos my parents took, but sadly they seem to have vanished into the mists of Time. They were sitting pretty far away, though, so as I recall they weren't great shots.

I eventually lost the cassette tape of the album in a move. Semi-shameful confession, I actually bought a new copy when I later found it for sale at K-Mart for $5, sometime in 1995 or 96. What it was doing there, and at that particular point in time, I have no idea. It leads me to assume this album was actually commercially available at some point, and not just sold at Pizza Hut.

Man, Delaware sounds rough. At least you've got that awesome Hooters that's just over the bridge! That should be your state slogan: "Come To Delaware- We Have Awesome Hooters!" I'd book that sh*t.

[IndigoErth]

Well at least it doesn't take us long to get to other states, but it's no fair that we never really get anything ourselves. (*cough* politics aside)

Psh. Maryland has Big Pecker's, I'd rather that take up new locations and become a rival chain.

[Leo656]

That DOES deserve to be a chain! I'd love to be the head of Marketing for THAT franchise!

There'd be giant billboards everywhere, saying "Forget Hooters! Put some Big Pecker's in your mou-..." Y'know what, I actually might need to rethink this.

I used to wrestle at the Elks or whatever that's just over the bridge over there in New Castle, the one like just a minute away from the Hooters. Then after the show we'd all head over there for the after-party. Good times. Really miss those days.

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What a bunch of scalawags and reprobates. Those were the days.

[IndigoErth]

Hah, looks like good times.

Originally Posted by Leo656

That DOES deserve to be a chain! I'd love to be the head of Marketing for THAT franchise!

lol Can't find any billboards online, but some of their shirts are inappropriately appropriate. (But gotten away with played as a joke of course with their rather Foghorn Leghorn-looking chicken mascot.) edit: Surprised it never became a chain, looks like it's close in age to Hooters; can't find an establishment date, but the oldest vintage shirts dating to about 1987. But anyone visiting Ocean City, MD it's a recommended stop.

[Leo656]

I like how between the two of us we can make any thread totes inappropes, even one as innocuous as this.

[IndigoErth]

lol Really. It wouldn't be a proper forum if it didn't go from cheesy Turtle music venture tour guild to oh hey, restaurants with innuendo names.

[Leo656]

I always liked George Carlin's idea for a motel called either "Nipples & Dicks" or "Sleep & F*ck". Just drop all pretense and get right to the point of things.

I'd take this idea and run with it except he's dead and I can't ask permission. I wouldn't feel right without his blessing.