I'm going to kill myself

[Vivi]

Originally Posted by Peanut

Unless your father is seriously abusing you, and I mean physically laying into you in a rage fueled by pure hatred, sadistic pleasure or alcohol, and not reprimanding you for stupid behaviour, you need to stop whining. I'm serious. As someone who has been through very real depression, not brought on by childish tantrums and teenage arrogance, but by mental instability, it irks me to see teenagers cry suicide over bullsh*t nonsense.

Ignore what I said if your father is truly abusive. In which case stop coming to a Ninja Turtles forum to decry him and instead call someone who can actually help you.

Your internet friend also sounds suspect. Don't lose your sh*t over someone you don't even know and especially don't argue with your father over the state of this persons life, real or pretend. Him telling you not to act jacked over someone you've never met isn't out of line.

He's being hit, I'm pretty sure that's abuse.

[Peanut]

And you know how? You have no idea the amount of teenagers I've been in a room with who claim to have been "hit and abused" and have no clue how serious that accusation is, or what that actually means. It doesn't mean your dad slapped you up side of your fat head for being a dumb ass. I don't agree with hitting a kid to teach them a lesson, but sometimes that's what a kid needs to straighten them the f*ck out. The problem there being that years of teaching kids that any physical contact from a parent is considered abuse has warped the very serious nature of it. Again, I could be wrong in this case, but I would like to see him straight up say "My dad BEATS ME," and then I'd take action myself.

Reading between the lines on most of this kids posts (lately, because when he joined he certainly wasn't like this) it doesn't seem like much aside from the typical teenage cry for help, but of course, I could be wrong. What I see is the "I have no friends," "My school life sucks," "My parents don't care about the things I care about," complaints. I've seen so much of this stuff be completely false that it makes me an extreme skeptic about it. It's usually the ones who don't ask for help that are in the worst situations. Again, I can attest.

[Vivi]

Originally Posted by Peanut

And you know how?

And that's my point. Your information is from what, 'reading between the lines'? It's not a competition to see who's been the most abused, and that only those who exceed an extreme threshold of pain are worthy of help. I'm sorry for the things you've personally been through, but if someone is reaching out it's in no way helpful to slap their hand away.

And getting more to the topic: Moonlight, I hope you've been finding the assistance you need to get through your issues. Truly, buddy, it does get better.

[Cure]

Originally Posted by Vivi

but if someone is reaching out it's in no way helpful to slap their hand away.

That's the part that makes me skeptical. If there is real trouble being had, there are better ways of seeking help than posting here.

Like, a lot better.

[Peanut]

Yeah, no. I was totally making it a competition. You're so right.

[Hannurdock]

The best thing to do is phone a specialised helpline. They deal with this stuff every day and can advise you on a plan of action. All things are not hopeless, they just feel that way right now.

1-800-273-TALK (8255) (US)

If you are in the UK then phone Childline if you are still a minor or the Samaritans.

If your father has actually hit you - raised his hand to you in anger - then you do need to get help. There are people out there who have made it their life's mission to help people like you, grab the opportunity with both hands.

Just because you're a teenager doesn't mean you're problems aren't genuine. If it is abuse, let people who specialise in handling these things do it. Never try to deal with it alone; get help.

If the problem is bullying at school / college - then I understand how desperate that can make you feel. I felt like running away when I was bullied solidly for two years at secondary school. The feeling of worthlessness and shame was almost too much to bear - I stood up to the bullies eventually and won respect from them. But the mental scars are still there from what they did. Again, the only solution isn't to die - it's to get help. A burden shared is a burden halved. You'll feel better by just getting it out to another person.

Good luck and I hope the situation is resolved for you soon.

You're not alone.

[BubblyShell22]

If this is true abuse, get help. Call the police or whatever. But if it's not, and your father is just trying to make you into a better person, just deal with it. Yeah, you may not agree with what your parents think, but in the end, they just want what's best for you. Maybe your dad is acting this way due to stress as that can happen. He doesn't really hate you and probably doesn't mean the things he says. He's just upset and under pressure, so it causes him to say things he doesn't mean. I think the good grades thing is more about wanting you to do well, though I don't think anyone should be angry if you get a B or C. Now, a D or F I can see getting mad at, but some parents don't look at it that way. Just do your best and show your dad that you are worth something. That's all you can do.

But if it IS serious, get help immediately. Don't wait.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

So are your father and brother scholars themselves, or did you get away with all the brains in the family?

[Ecto Jedi]

Originally Posted by Cure

That's the part that makes me skeptical. If there is real trouble being had, there are better ways of seeking help than posting here.

Like, a lot better.

Sometimes these other options seem very far away indeed. That's all that needs saying.

[Moonlight1102]

Originally Posted by Cure

That's the part that makes me skeptical. If there is real trouble being had, there are better ways of seeking help than posting here.

Like, a lot better.

I'm at home and I'm monitored whenever I call someone. The quickest place I could think of is here.

And thanks for the help folks.

[Moonlight1102]

Originally Posted by Peanut

And you know how? You have no idea the amount of teenagers I've been in a room with who claim to have been "hit and abused" and have no clue how serious that accusation is, or what that actually means. It doesn't mean your dad slapped you up side of your fat head for being a dumb ass. I don't agree with hitting a kid to teach them a lesson, but sometimes that's what a kid needs to straighten them the f*ck out. The problem there being that years of teaching kids that any physical contact from a parent is considered abuse has warped the very serious nature of it. Again, I could be wrong in this case, but I would like to see him straight up say "My dad BEATS ME," and then I'd take action myself.

Reading between the lines on most of this kids posts (lately, because when he joined he certainly wasn't like this) it doesn't seem like much aside from the typical teenage cry for help, but of course, I could be wrong. What I see is the "I have no friends," "My school life sucks," "My parents don't care about the things I care about," complaints. I've seen so much of this stuff be completely false that it makes me an extreme skeptic about it. It's usually the ones who don't ask for help that are in the worst situations. Again, I can attest.

You are only making me more ashamed of my actions and of my illness, not helping. I haven't had it as worse as you but I've been told this sort of thing by many people. I try to believe there were right and that I'm just a whiny good for nothing, but something worse always happens. If I'm truly whining then I have only strengthened the idea of me never growing up and being a child for the rest of my life. I am apparently the moron here for trying to seek help, because clearly there's nothing wrong with my situation in your eyes. That's how I feel when people say this to me.

[Katie]

Originally Posted by Moonlight1102

I'm at home and I'm monitored whenever I call someone. The quickest place I could think of is here.

And thanks for the help folks.

So, out of curiosity, have you done something that made your dad decide to start monitoring your calls? Like.....did you give money or anything to your internet friend? Cause if you did that, as a parent, i'd monitor you to.

I mean, no offense, but you are still a kid. Sometimes kids do dumb things that make parents want to keep closer tabs on them

Is that it? Did your dad get pissed and yell at you cause you gave money to this chick causing you to be upset because she's your "friend"?

[Moonlight1102]

Originally Posted by Katie

So, out of curiosity, have you done something that made your dad decide to start monitoring your calls? Like.....did you give money or anything to your internet friend? Cause if you did that, as a parent, i'd monitor you to.

I mean, no offense, but you are still a kid. Sometimes kids do dumb things that make parents want to keep closer tabs on them

Is that it? Did your dad get pissed and yell at you cause you gave money to this chick causing you to be upset because she's your "friend"?

I never gave her anything. My dad just monitors me because he doesn't want me saying bad things about him to anyone else.

[BubblyShell22]

And you think disparaging him on a forum is any better? He might get wind of that, too. Just try to look at it from his perspective and try not to think badly of him. He does love you as any parent would. Maybe there's more to it.

[Sage Ninja]

you really get into sticky territory when one starts putting varying degrees of "whats legitimate pain or problems" and whats not to warrant emotional break down.

Sometimes I find people, especially ones that have been through tough sh*t in their life sometimes develop a bit of arrogance that unless they feel like what someone else has experienced is worse or on par to what they've gone through in life they tend to dismiss other peoples emotional pain as just whining or evidence that they are just weak individuals. Sometimes these people have a tough time sympathizing with these people because they think, that is no where near as bad as what I've gone through, this person is just pathetic. They never consider that maybe that persons pain is just as legitimate as their own and their emotional response is valid.

Three years ago my older sister was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend's best friend and he took his side over hers and basically said she brought it onto herself. The circle of friends my sister hangs out with were divided between those who took her side and those who took his side. You would not believe the vicious things that were said to her by her so called friends who took his side. Her boyfriend just kept saying "you cheated on me with my boy" (because he said it was consensual) never mind that he never considered that if it was "consensual" that meant his "boy" that he was so defending so much betrayed him too. He was more concerned with protecting his "boy" from getting a rape accusation thrown at him than really looking into it closely. And her "friends" that didn't believe my sister were saying things like "how can you ruin a guys life by saying he sexually assaulted you and bringing this court."

During all this crap my older sister did make an attempt on her life. It was horrible, because when it happened I was home alone with her in the shower getting ready for work, and I didn't even know what was going on until my cell phone went off and it was my older sister's best friend telling me that she (my older sister) texted her saying she took pills and that I needed to get to her right away and that she had already called the police. I couldn't get to her because my sister had locked her door. The paramedics came and broke down the door and got her out... I was in the house with her but someone several blocks away had to inform me that my sister, who was in the same house as me, who was only two doors away from me, was trying to kill herself. And she was the one that called the police, because I didn't know what the hell was going on just two doors away from me. I can't describe how all that made me feel and my parents made me feel worse about it.

And yeah, when it came out that my sister got to that point where she tried to kill her self all her "friends" that were giving her crap suddenly put on the righteous indignation rant similar to the one Leo656 friend gave to him and I was shocked that after what they said to her they would have the gall to pull the "if you succeeded in killing your self we would never forgive you for taking your self away" crap. As if their actions and harassment hadn't been a huge factor in why she got to that point. I'm proud to say my sister gave them the biggest "why you suck" speech. Maybe it's because my sister survived that I feel I wouldn't have blamed her if she had succeeded in killing her self, but if she had, I think I would feel more anger and hate toward her stupid friends that turned on her when she needed their support.

I know I can say this because she lived. but I do know that if she had died it would have ruined my life, and damaged my relationship with my parents and younger sister. I know they would have blamed me because I was home alone with her, it wouldn't have mattered that I was in the shower when it happened. Maybe I would have felt angry at her if she had succeeded and I was blamed for it, but I do understand her feelings and why she driven to that. There are friends that were on her side that have stopped talking to her for a while because of what she tried to do, but I can't help but feel they are being a little selfish. No one really wanted to see things from her point of view. Maybe I'm giving her too much slack because she is my sister and I love her, but she didn't do what she tried to do because she had an off day, she was sexually assaulted and her boyfriend and several of her friends sided with her rapist. Yeah she had people on her side but sometimes even when there are people on your side that isn't enough. I can't get over how self righteous some people can be and unsympathetic to others pain and what motivates their emotional responses.

[The Stryker]

So I guess everyone here has decided to miss the point of Peanut's post? I miss that meeting?

[CyberCubed]

From reading through this thread I never realized how many people here are seriously depressed or suffer from ADHD or anxiety or whatever. Or have family members with these issues.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

Originally Posted by The Stryker

So I guess everyone here has decided to miss the point of Peanut's post? I miss that meeting?

Is the point that Peanut thinks Moonlight1102 isn't being straight with us? I confess that I don't know Moonlight1102 from Adam, and if others have more about this person, I'm all ears.

[Andrew NDB]

Suicide notes on the Technodrome forums. Wowzers.

[Moonlight1102]

I've never been able to control my anger. Tonight, it just got at it's worst.

I failed my 11th grade. I didn't get an award, I didn't get to met my friends, I failed. I got so angry that I took it out on my mother and Shauna. I went spastic and said the absolute horrible things to them. Right after I went insane against my mother on the phone, she said to me that she failed me as a mother, and that was it. I took it rage out on Shauna, and now she refuses to talk to me now. I pleaded to her and tried to apologize, but it wasn't enough. As if I needed more grief, I lost the trust of my best friend Kieran, who now thinks I'm a strange person and I'm beyond help.

I can't ever change. I'll forever be stuck as a child who lashes out at his friends like a sociopath. I lost my best friends and the love of my mother. Now I have to live with that and my father. I have no hope. I'm done.