"Excuse me, are you busy?"

[Andrew NDB]

I've just realized this is one of my biggest pet peeves, as it pertains to the workplace. You know, when someone approaches you, kind of measures up what you're doing, and begins with a meek, "Are you busy?" with the idea being they have some task or favor they're about to ask you.

It's very irritating -- to me -- and a little bit of a trap, when you think about it. Of course the hope is that you will say "No I'm not, what can I do for you?" (probably stemming from the idea that saying "no" falls under the umbrella of "common courtesy," which I challenge as a fallacy) but look at what you've just admitted there if you do. You just said you weren't busy to your co-worker or worse, your manager or supervisor. If you weren't busy, what were you doing, exactly? Not working? They're going to subconsciously or not-so-subconsciously be wondering what you were doing now, since you weren't busy. Well, that's not good. Then maybe they need to ask you something a week later again, and they ask the same thing and you again say, "No, what's up?" That's twice now you've admitted to someone that you weren't busy at work. Now you're building up a rep of being a guy that's not ever busy.

So I don't play along with that. When someone comes to my office to ask something beginning with "Hello, are you busy?" I immediately let them know some varying degree of, "Oh yes, you wouldn't believe how much I am!" which always either immediately confuses them or leads to a, "Oh, should I come back later?" which makes for an awkward additional back and forth of something like "No, come in, that's what I'm here for" "Are you sure?" "Yes, yes, please."

The other day there was one lady that really floored me, though. She came into the office and asked, as I'm toiling on the computer, "Hi there, do you have some time for me?" I immediately looked at the clock and said, "No, I'm sorry, I really don't right now. Payroll closes in literally 5 minutes and we're not ready to submit." Which was absolutely the truth. What I got was the same confused look I get from all the others when I'd say "yes" to "are you busy?" but here's the kicker. Instead of her saying "Should I come back?" or anything like that, this lady continued to come in and sit down anyway. Then she starts rattling off at length what she wanted from me while I'm not even so much as making eye contact with her, the same as if I'd answered "yes" to "do you have some time for me?" Like, even the very idea of asking someone "are you busy/do you have some time/can I bother you" and getting anything other than just the expected "No, come on in/I have time, yes" was just so utterly brain-breaking that it couldn't compute to this lady. Just, wow... some people.

Is it just me with the "are you busy?" annoyance? I can't be alone on that.

[oldmanwinters]

Guy I was doing a favor to last week asks "Can I share something with you?" and my immediate response was "What responsibilities fall upon me if you do?" He proceeded to give the whole story anyway. Not a big deal, but... yeah, there's just some basic imposition there that I wish I at least had the option to avoid entirely.

[Leo656]

Thankfully, I've developed an astounding "Don't f*cking come near me" face for when I really need it, it's helped me avoid a lot of those types of encounters.

I kind of play it case by case, honestly. Sometimes people would ask nicely, in which case I'd say something like "Yeah, but I'm guessing whatever you need me for is probably something I'd rather do anyway," or something like that.

My last boss had a bad habit of just ASSUMING that nobody was ever busy when in fact we were constantly VERY busy, and that was pretty annoying. Like, he'd hawk you on the security camera, and then he'd call the desk phone to check up on you. "Hey. Couldn't help but notice you've been sitting at the desk for a while. What's going on today?" And I'm a very blunt, no-BS person with no patience for that kinda sh*t, so I'd unload. "Yeah, I'm at the desk. I gotta do my payroll if I wanna get paid this weekend AND you got me doing email blasts AND cold-calling a bunch of people who aren't home so I can mark it off on the checklist, AND you've got me chasing down that three-page list of people who didn't pay their bill this month. I'll be lucky if I even have time to get the floor mopped by 8. Every single time I get up to piss the phone rings, and this time it was YOU. On top of that, I've barely had two sips of my coffee since I got in here. So is there something you NEED, or...?"

"Uhhhh nope, nope, just checking in, I'll let you get back to it." Every f*cking time.

One time I almost got fired because I literally just snapped. I was in the middle of something and he tried to pull me off of it to go do something VERY not-urgent, and I was like "Dude, I am F*CKING busy, I'll do it when I get to it!" That turned into a closed-door meeting. He's like "I'm like this close to telling you get your sh*t and leave, you talking to me like that." And I'm like "Yeah, okay, and I'm sorry, but we both know you CAN'T do that because YOU are too busy to do the stuff you're asking ME to do, so if I'm not here it's not getting done, now IS IT? So I'm sorry I snapped at you, "sir", but can we just drop it and get back to work? Because we BOTH have sh*t to do and that's entirely why I yelled. Let's just forget it and go do what we gotta do."

To be clear, those aren't great ways to handle those types of situations. He and I had a sort of understanding that was developed over a period of many years. Sometimes we'd curse each other out, other times I'd just be like "Look, you HATE when I come at you when you're busy, right? Well how d'you think I like it when you do it to me? If I'm busy, I'm busy, and that means don't bother me."

I wouldn't interact with every boss I've ever had that way; just the ones who begrudgingly respect an employee who'll say "No, F*ck that" to their face. I mean I never tried to avoid doing stuff, there was just way too much to do within the hours we were scheduled for, is all.

[mrmaczaps]

People ask today without listening... not just in the work place. And words seem to have lost meaning... kinda like the old joke "can I ask you a question" *you did just now* thing... as a customer, if I'm asking an employee something, I usually start with "sorry to bother you" & then ask or make statement to bother them. Lol

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by oldmanwinters

Guy I was doing a favor to last week asks "Can I share something with you?" and my immediate response was "What responsibilities fall upon me if you do?" He proceeded to give the whole story anyway. Not a big deal, but... yeah, there's just some basic imposition there that I wish I at least had the option to avoid entirely.

Not a big deal, no, but it just really begins to grate on me in my particular field. Also, it's made me realize that that has always irritated me in this field, as well as the last one.

Originally Posted by Leo656

I kind of play it case by case, honestly. Sometimes people would ask nicely, in which case I'd say something like "Yeah, but I'm guessing whatever you need me for is probably something I'd rather do anyway," or something like that.

Definitely case by case. And if I'm not BUSY busy (meaning I am busy but not busy on stuff/projects that aren't super time sensitive) I at least try to be nice about it. Generally I try to just ignore the question of "are you busy?" altogether and just say something simple like "Please, come in."

Originally Posted by mrmaczaps

People ask today without listening... not just in the work place. And words seem to have lost meaning... kinda like the old joke "can I ask you a question" *you did just now* thing... as a customer, if I'm asking an employee something, I usually start with "sorry to bother you" & then ask or make statement to bother them. Lol

I can respect the "sorry to bother you" because that's different than "are you busy?" or "do you have some time?" (as if to suggest you have an abundance of extra) and it's honest. Also, it's less awkward when I can answer back, "No, it's no bother," because I'm not attempting to be forced to say falsely that I'm not busy. "Sorry to bother" acknowledges that you could be busy and they could be interrupting or impeding whatever it is you may or may not be working on. You asking me for a favor or needing help or looking for the answer to a question isn't a bother, it's just a thing, and I won't be a dick about it in 95% of cases. You asking me "are you busy?" is forcing me to either, A) Lie, and thus implicate myself or B) Tell the truth and create a needlessly awkward exchange.

[IndigoErth]

Just one of the many pluses to being a field vendor/rep for a company and generally not ever working around anyone else from said company... never getting that question.

I'm ALWAYS busy when I'm working, there is never going to be a "no." However, if I'm present and someone shopping my company's stuff wants help, I'm happy to stop what I'm doing for a minute, because typically they only need to be pointed in the right direction. Otherwise, one of my favorite things is being able to tell someone I don't work there and not EVER have to deal with BS of their other customers or employees.

The only two incidences I've had in 4 1/2 years were two odd guys, separate occasions, that left in a bit of a huff because I wasn't going to stop and have a conversation. Those two were basically the equivalent, I guess, and rather irked me because I WAS clearly busy, one of them even while I was doing a season change over (an all day project) and up to my NECK in work I had to get done. I'm fine with brief chats with most people while I'm working, but I'm given a limited amount of time I'm supposed to try to stick close to so no, I can't stop to have a conversation and give you my undivided attention. Those two made me mad and I did just keep working and basically blew them off because it seemed incredibly disrespectful to disregard the fact that I was on the job and had a lot I needed to get done. (One of them had parked next to an expensive car and actually STARTED trying to talk to me by asking if it was mine, as if the company's prices and profits just all go into my pocket. )

That said, I've heard it more in the past though and now mostly just outside of work. If I'm not busy, I'll say no. If I AM kind of tied up in something, then yeah, I'm going to tell them that I sorta am, but I can be with them shortly.

If an employer/superior asked that, wanting a favor or assistance, and even gave any THOUGHT like that to a "no," then that is not even a place worth staying long term, imo. If I'm a dedicated worker, they aught to already be well aware of that and know that some things have a deadline and others can be put on hold for a bit to help them out. If I'm going to be giving that much of my time from the one life I get to a company, I don't want to be spending too much of it in a crappy environment.

[Leo656]

Those dudes were clearly trying to chat you up for a reason. Should'a got them digits, homie!

Ya never know, might'a been on their way to an Eyes Wide Shut party and needed a +1. Think ya dropped that ball on that one, frankly.

[IndigoErth]

Oh no no, pass on being the +1. lol

Like I said, I don't mind chatting with people for a minute while I'm working, but get too personal or presumptuous (like the guy asking about the car) or ignore that I've got things to do and think I should stop everything for a conversation... effing no. For some reason I prefer guys who are smart enough to read the situation and not consider themselves more important than an on-the-job stranger's work obligations.

Certain places it's not uncommon to recognize a store's regulars. I'm no ice queen... If some cutie was a regular and just started off exchanging brief pleasantries on a few occasions and he's caught my eye, then cool. But disregard that I'm on the job, with a limited amount of time for it, and try to bulldoze me for attention, they're just going to be hitting a wall. (In that case...go find a store employee to chat with, I'm sure they'd appreciate an excuse to stop whatever they're doing as they aren't hostage to a time limit like I am.)

[Leo656]

I think an Eyes Wide Shut party would be a fantastic place to meet people outside of work, though. Plus you get to wear cool masks while you bang people. Which is how Batman probably does it.

[The Deadman]

At my work it's usually "what are you working on" and not "are you busy?'. Like asshat, you see what I'm working on, why do I need to tell you what I'm working on?

[Cowabung-Gal]

Often when I’m obviously busy, my fellow employees interrupt my work and ask me, “Hey, girl, you busy?”



People don’t use their eyes anymore.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by The Deadman

At my work it's usually "what are you working on" and not "are you busy?'

Oh, that would really piss me off if I ever got that.

[Leo656]

Haha, "So what are you working on?" was my last Boss's f*cking catchphrase. I'd hit 'em with the whole novel just so he'd leave me alone for the rest of the day.

[The Deadman]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

Oh, that would really piss me off if I ever got that.

It's the usual go-to with my leads. If they catch you slipping to take a breath, theyre on you like hawks asking you what you're working on, it's incredibly annoying.

[Andrew NDB]

Man, it's been two days of nonstop of people poking in the door with the "Are you busy?" My default response has lately been a quick, "Yes/yeah, what's up?"

I still get the initial quick look of confusion but it isn't too bad and I'm not being dishonest.

[Andrew NDB]

"Hitherehowareyou?"

Here's another thing that bothers me. And it doesn't bother me from EVERYONE. It just bothers me from certain people who deliver this a certain way.

I don't mind the kind of rhetorical "Heeyyyy, how you been?" kind of stuff like passing folks in a hallway or something, but what gets me is the kind of guy that blows by you and says, "Hi there how are you?" in like a single breath, before immediately vanishing out of earshot. I find myself beginning to answer, or even answering and asking them the same, but they're already gone.

wtf, no?

[Coola Yagami]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

"Hitherehowareyou?"

Here's another thing that bothers me. And it doesn't bother me from EVERYONE. It just bothers me from certain people who deliver this a certain way.

I don't mind the kind of rhetorical "Heeyyyy, how you been?" kind of stuff like passing folks in a hallway or something, but what gets me is the kind of guy that blows by you and says, "Hi there how are you?" in like a single breath, before immediately vanishing out of earshot. I find myself beginning to answer, or even answering and asking them the same, but they're already gone.

wtf, no?

Yeah, it's weird when people kinda use 'how are you' or 'what's up' as a replacement for just saying hello. Then you answer and like you said, they're either gone or not really interested. So why the **** even ask how am I then? lmao

[frank_one]

Those are not real question, you are not supposed to answer them.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by frank_one

Those are not real question, you are not supposed to answer them.

If only it was that simple. Some genuinely do, many others don't. And I'm strictly talking in the workplace.

Originally Posted by Coola Yagami

Then you answer and like you said, they're either gone or not really interested. So why the **** even ask how am I then? lmao

It bugs me to no end. Mostly because some DO genuinely ask that. So why would -- or rather, SHOULD -- I assume they're being disingenuous?

[Sumac]

If I know that person, I am fine with it.
If I don't - expect some rude takes from me.

Though I voted "No", I must say: "That thread is dumb".