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Old 10-05-2017, 12:09 PM   #21
Prowler
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Originally Posted by plastroncafe View Post
Really?
Reread the thread.
Maybe they just grew up thinking it was normal and never saw it as abuse.
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So I've watched some of April O'Neil's "videos." They were OK, the lesbian massage ones were the best ones. I skimmed through some of the others, but eh.

I've seen better.
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Old 10-05-2017, 05:46 PM   #22
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If anyone is referring to me, then no. I knew from probably around 6 or 7 that it was wrong and not "normal". Never saw any of my friends' parents do any of the things he did. I just didn't really have the ability to do much about it. Long story but when I was 8 some stuff happened that caused several months of family and individual counseling. It got better for a couple of years but eventually things went right back the way they were before. Thing is he never showed his "true colors" where anyone could see- including my mom. Nothing anyone could do without proof and/or witnesses. He was the type to not leave marks or to let anyone see or hear him lose his sh*t. But I DID get some paybacks a few times. Learned to be VERY good at kicking "that spot" and then disappearing for a couple of hours before he could get back up....
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Old 10-05-2017, 05:55 PM   #23
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If anyone is referring to me, then no. I knew from probably around 6 or 7 that it was wrong and not "normal". Never saw any of my friends' parents do any of the things he did. I just didn't really have the ability to do much about it. Long story but when I was 8 some stuff happened that caused several months of family and individual counseling. It got better for a couple of years but eventually things went right back the way they were before. Thing is he never showed his "true colors" where anyone could see- including my mom. Nothing anyone could do without proof and/or witnesses. He was the type to not leave marks or to let anyone see or hear him lose his sh*t. But I DID get some paybacks a few times. Learned to be VERY good at kicking "that spot" and then disappearing for a couple of hours before he could get back up....
Good grief...
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Old 10-05-2017, 06:21 PM   #24
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I don't think anyone in this thread has been saying they were, either.
I'd say spanking or slapping a child is abuse, and it's been seen as such and been illegal in Norway since mid 70's
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Old 10-05-2017, 06:48 PM   #25
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I'd say spanking or slapping a child is abuse, and it's been seen as such and been illegal in Norway since mid 70's
It definitely depends on the area a person lives. As well as a persons values and such. Some states in the US still have paddling/spanking allowed in schools. In mine and Andrews state of Washington "abuse and neglect does NOT include the physical discipline of a child..."

https://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/child-saf...se-and-neglect

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=9A.16.100

Though physical discipline needs to be "reasonable" and "moderate."
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Old 10-05-2017, 07:03 PM   #26
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[Yeah, not sure that's a can of worms I really should have opened, but it's too much text to waste now...]



The most common tactic of my mother... Lots of screaming (being sure she's the only one who gets to speak) and tearing apart any sense of self esteem she might have imagined was at risk of still being intact.

Spoiler:
Used spanking some, but mostly just as a young kid. That was pretty much replaced later (I think as a pre-teen) by the handful of times I was hit/slapped; always across the face once or twice. Plus the time, after taking a friend home, she sat me on her bed to "talk" to me (always a bad thing), then just whaled on me. All because said friend had spent the night and like a couple of normal middle school girls we were mildly wild and stayed up half the night. So instead of ever asking/telling us to quiet down she just beat on me the next day.

Probably one of the most messed up "punishments" was her once 'locking' me in the so-called wine cellar. Which is more just a small dug out area, technically part of the basement, beneath the kitchen with a dirt floor and low ceiling and a slightly rickety-looking door made of dark red painted wood boards. I don't know that it was actually locked, she has said it wasn't, but in my mind it was. I'm not even sure how old I was as that point... I don't recall if my sister was even around yet, and she was born when I was still just five. I'm guessing I may have been five or six...? Supposedly she didn't go too far away, not leaving me (though to me I thought she had), according to her she sat and cried on the nearby steps... but wtf.

In reality, I was actually a really good kid. Sure, any child is going to be frustrating and mess up, but I was never intentionally bad (even as a toddler I wasn't one to throw tantrums or anything) and wasn't really one to test boundaries too much. (And the way this woman was I didn't dare risk it.) And in front of other people, she damn well KNEW I was a good kid and would defend me as such, and certainly less trouble than a couple of those that were neighbors. But that view seemed to go out the window when there was no one else around. Largely this came from a mother who herself has major issues and was never medicated until I was mid-teens or so. (She's admitted that she sought it out because of how she was to me.) Rised by a woman who believes that mistakes aren't okay and, in I guess her screwed up mind, might even be regarded as intentional. (Or at least responded to as if they were.)

Naturally, my sister, inevitably the favorite, never really got the same level of punishment or abuse from her. I know she didn't have it perfect... Our mother did like to run after and hit us with yard sticks on occasion and she DID once break a heavy duty one over my sister, but far as I'm aware of that is about the worse she herself got. She didn't get near as much screaming (I think more often just stern talking to) and none of the intentional self esteem scarring. (Which you can definitely tell as adults.) Largely she had the benefit of our mother I believe trying to overcompensate on her in a better way because my sister is the younger one like her, while I'm the older one like her own sister she hates, so she seemingly chose me as the target to take her crap out on that she couldn't take out on her own sister or parents.


My dad was much calmer, yelling was infrequent and rarely was he physical and only recall a time or two. He was more likely to break stuff, but also infrequent. He was a better person than my mom, though unfortunately she dished out most of the so-called discipline, esp as he was often at work. Most of her more malicious, emotionally cutting behavior was done when he wasn't home or in ear shot. Hmm... wonder why.

Last edited by IndigoErth; 10-05-2017 at 07:11 PM.
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Old 10-05-2017, 07:05 PM   #27
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I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.
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Old 10-05-2017, 07:16 PM   #28
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Kids are pansies now... in my opinion it's the restraints we put on parents that have resulted in a generation of entitled kids who can't deal with modern life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying abuse is "okay" but giving your kid a smack now in then is not abuse. (this is a reason why I never reproduced... I'd end up in jail with todays regulations)

I got beat as a kid and I deserved every one I got. I don't consider it abuse at all. If I had gotten smacked for no good reason, then that would be different. I never got the "belt" or the "switch" or any of those things. I got a crack in the head normally if I misbehaved, but I learned quick. I generally wasn't a bad kid anyway.

The worst beating I remember was when I was around 5 years old. (and yes I remember this, and I know I had to be 5 or less because my dad passed away 2 weeks before I turned 6) For some reason I got the bright idea in my head to get up out of my bed at 10 at night, go down the stairs, go outside, and go visit my neighbors (who happened to be family) that lived across the street.

They phoned my house and my dad answered and was asked. "Do you know where your daughter is?" Of course he thought I was in bed... but I was not. I was there... Yea.... I got carried home by the collar of my pajamas getting a boot in the behind for every single step home as my dad strode.

I got the worst of it from my brothers growing up. It wasn't so much abuse as brothers being brothers in the 80's...

I loved milk, but my brother called it "kick me's" So he would ask if I wanted some kick me's and of course when I said yes he would kick me. He would jingle the milk and ask again and of course I'd say no because I didn't want to get kicked again. So he would shrug and put the milk away so I'd be all "Nuuuuuu!" So he would reaffirm I actually DID want kick me's and proceed to kick me again.

This is the same brother who would put his dirty socks in my mouth and squeeze orange peels in my eyes because he had to babysit me almost every night of his teenage life instead of being able to hang out with his friends since my mom bailed on us after my dad died. He would also wipe his boogers under my pillow so I would get all scratchy booger talons up and down my arms when I would put my arm under my pillow to go to sleep. You just gotta love big brothers... The only shining light is my even bigger brother (who teased him like he teased me) taught me a lot of weird little quirks that freaked him out so when he had his first child (my niece) I made sure to teach her all the those things so karma has now come full circle.
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Old 10-05-2017, 07:37 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by CyberCubed View Post
I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.
Yes you would think in 2017 there would be better methods to keep those without power (kids) in check. Something other than corporal punishment.
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Old 10-05-2017, 08:12 PM   #30
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My mother still has a metal cane that is bent from her hitting me with it.

We lost a lot of brooms that way too. I'd usually have to bend over a couch or something when it was a scheduled punishment.

In my mid to late teens, once that didn't work any more, I'd get sent on "walks" and would get locked out of whatever house/apartment we lived at the time, sometimes without any shoes or socks on, for anywhere from 15 minutes to a few hours.

I probably wasn't a "bad" kid per se, judging from how my friends' parents always complimented me on my behavior. I was just raised as a hardline fundamentalist Christian, so questioning my mother was viewed as questioning God...
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Old 10-05-2017, 09:04 PM   #31
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I got spanked a bit when I was little. Didn't really do anything lol

Some of you guys were f*cked.
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Old 10-06-2017, 05:24 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by CyberCubed View Post
I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.
Back i nmy parents' day kids still got smacked at school. My mom got hit with a ruler on the back of her hands once. She said it hurt.

Also, left-handed kids used to get smacked A LOT at school. Teachers basically forced them to learn to write with their right hands. I guess being left-handed was viewed as some sort of physical handicap back then?
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So I've watched some of April O'Neil's "videos." They were OK, the lesbian massage ones were the best ones. I skimmed through some of the others, but eh.

I've seen better.
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Old 10-06-2017, 06:05 PM   #33
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Back i nmy parents' day kids still got smacked at school. My mom got hit with a ruler on the back of her hands once. She said it hurt.

Also, left-handed kids used to get smacked A LOT at school. Teachers basically forced them to learn to write with their right hands. I guess being left-handed was viewed as some sort of physical handicap back then?
Corporal Punishment was a big thing at Catholic Schools, which is one of the reasons my parents refused to send me to one.

Mom had to kneel on pencils, or was smacked around by nuns.
My grandmother, who was left-handed, routinely had her hand tied behind her back to keep her from using it.

The Left, or sinister, hand was associated with the devil.
And anyone who preferred that hand must also be of or with the devil, based on a passage from Matthew, apparently:

Quote:
And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
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So your wants and needs as a fan should outweigh everyone else's?
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A lot just get older and older and angrier and angrier, all the while waiting for the world to bend to their whim, never, ever really being satisfied with any of the "victories" achieved at large and wondering why no one outside of whatever construct bubble they've placed themself [sic] (look, I did it!) in wants to mess with them.
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Old 10-06-2017, 06:31 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by plastroncafe View Post
Corporal Punishment was a big thing at Catholic Schools, which is one of the reasons my parents refused to send me to one.

Mom had to kneel on pencils, or was smacked around by nuns.
My grandmother, who was left-handed, routinely had her hand tied behind her back to keep her from using it.

The Left, or sinister, hand was associated with the devil.
And anyone who preferred that hand must also be of or with the devil, based on a passage from Matthew, apparently:
Is that why left is sinistra in Italian?

Also, how convenient that communism, the enemy of fascism, is left-winged.
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So I've watched some of April O'Neil's "videos." They were OK, the lesbian massage ones were the best ones. I skimmed through some of the others, but eh.

I've seen better.
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Old 10-06-2017, 06:42 PM   #35
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Kind of?
sinister (adj.)

Quote:
early 15c., "prompted by malice or ill-will, intending to mislead," from Old French senestre, sinistre "contrary, false; unfavorable; to the left" (14c.), from Latin sinister "left, on the left side" (opposite of dexter), of uncertain origin. Perhaps meaning properly "the slower or weaker hand" [Tucker], but Klein and Buck suggest it's a euphemism (see left (adj.)) connected with the root of Sanskrit saniyan "more useful, more advantageous." With contrastive or comparative suffix -ter, as in dexter (see dexterity).

The Latin word was used in augury in the sense of "unlucky, unfavorable" (omens, especially bird flights, seen on the left hand were regarded as portending misfortune), and thus sinister acquired a sense of "harmful, unfavorable, adverse." This was from Greek influence, reflecting the early Greek practice of facing north when observing omens. In genuine Roman auspices, the augurs faced south and left was favorable. Thus sinister also retained a secondary sense in Latin of "favorable, auspicious, fortunate, lucky."

Meaning "evil" is from late 15c. Used in heraldry from 1560s to indicate "left, to the left." Bend (not "bar") sinister in heraldry indicates illegitimacy and preserves the literal sense of "on or from the left side" (though in heraldry this is from the view of the bearer of the shield, not the observer of it; see bend (n.2)).
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So your wants and needs as a fan should outweigh everyone else's?
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A lot just get older and older and angrier and angrier, all the while waiting for the world to bend to their whim, never, ever really being satisfied with any of the "victories" achieved at large and wondering why no one outside of whatever construct bubble they've placed themself [sic] (look, I did it!) in wants to mess with them.
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Old 10-06-2017, 07:01 PM   #36
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All this 'left' talk has me remembering that I was once told that "the left eye is the window to the soul." Decided to do a quick search to see if the internet said the same thing. A quote from the first article I clicked on.
"If someone is not being sincere they will turn their face so that their right eye is toward you. If they are taking from the heart they will turn the left side of their face towards you to emphasise the left eye."
http://www.scienceofsoulmates.com/Th...e_left_eye.htm
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Old 10-06-2017, 11:18 PM   #37
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Interestingly enough for the current track of this discussion I am not only left-handed myself (how many of us here are? Show of hands, LOL!) but was also reprimanded in school for using it when young, before my mom told them to leave it alone and let me use the one that came naturally. That put a stop to it. I did learn to use my right a bit when I broke my left wrist in middle school and couldn't move my hand well, but I still do almost everything left-handed. (Except batting in baseball- for some reason I do that right-handed....)

And I will confirm what plastron posted about the origins of "sinister" from the Latin for "on the left". But in Roman times that was not a negative trait. On the contrary it was considered a sign of favor by the gods or of being born lucky. However it was later changed in Christian times to be a sign of witchcraft or wickedness. Left-handed people in the Middle Ages often concealed the fact or learned to use the other in order to avoid being accused of being heretics or witches.
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Old 10-07-2017, 01:38 AM   #38
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I was physically spanked, sometimes pretty hard, but I don't mind it looking back. I wouldn't love my parents any less
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Old 10-12-2017, 03:55 PM   #39
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**** was scary back in the day, but these are fun conversations to have now that people can look back and laugh. What did your parents do to punish you guys?

My mother would throw dry rice on the floor and make me kneel on it for hours on end. After a while the little grains would cut into the skin and leave scars and ish. And another time my mother got so angry that she ripped out the little rod thing to open and close the blinds and whipped me with it. Good times.

Oh, and being Latino, I am quite familiar with la chancla.

What about you guys?
All this sounds like nothing else than pure child abuse. Even by the standards of many years or decades ago, or what your parents came from.
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Old 10-12-2017, 04:26 PM   #40
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Only you know, it wasn't. I was a piece of **** who deserved it.
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