Pre-school bans kids from using term "Best Friend"

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

As long as there are children having fun, tyring to create their own conditions for playing, there will be adult people there to interfer.

35 years ago, all Kindergarten teachers did was complaining over the violent content of series like Heman and the Transformers.

[Utrommaniac]

All in all, the whole situation is just



"Weaponizing" means "you're not my best friend anymore" to try to take back power in a fight or disagreement, or "you can't be here, you're not my best friend" to isolate. As others have stated before.

[Sumac]

Originally Posted by Utrommaniac

"Weaponizing" means "you're not my best friend anymore" to try to take back power in a fight or disagreement, or "you can't be here, you're not my best friend" to isolate. As others have stated before.

So? I don't see nothing bad about this. It's natural process.

[TurtleWA]

Originally Posted by Sumac

So? I don't see nothing bad about this. It's natural process.

Some people believe the classroom is helping prepare kids for later in life when they have jobs. Your not always going to be able to work with your first (or best) choice of colleague in the future. Or work one on one with someone. So kids need to learn how to deal with these thing a little better. How to work in groups and how to communicate that they need time with a specific person and not a group. Or be okay in accepting many people into a group to work. It’s not all about play it’s about preparation for future work skills.

[Utrommaniac]

Pretty much.

My original thought process was some director or member of staff just getting sick of dealing with kids isolating each other over their potential for "friend ranking", and so opted to attempt forbidding "friend ranking" altogether.

And not really considering that preschoolers are probably not going to follow that rule.


I brought it up to my mom who works in this environment, and she had some interesting points.

• It's micromanaging
• Attempting to eliminate "cliques" at this point in life prevents kids from being unable to cope when it starts happening in the future. It happens, no matter what, and it's easier to learn it when they're younger and more emotionally malleable.
• Removes the inevitable teaching moment when "you're not my best friend anymore" situations occur
• Kids don't totally have a grasp on what "best" is, so for a lot of kids, their entire class would be their "best friend"

Also notice that the little girl in this situation is now anxious about using the term "best friend" outside of school.

[newfan]

Originally Posted by TurtleWA

Some people believe the classroom is helping prepare kids for later in life when they have jobs. Your not always going to be able to work with your first (or best) choice of colleague in the future. Or work one on one with someone. So kids need to learn how to deal with these thing a little better. How to work in groups and how to communicate that they need time with a specific person and not a group. Or be okay in accepting many people into a group to work. It’s not all Bout play it’s about preparation for future work skills.

at age 3/4?
Haven't we got this by the time we get to working age already through growing over the years?

[TurtleWA]

Originally Posted by newfan

at age 3/4?
Haven't we got this by the time we get to working age already through growing over the years?

Kids learn through play. So if a kids is old enough to play they are old enough to learn, imo. I imagine some “working age” people still do not know how to work in groups or one-on-one, both are important.

[Sumac]

Originally Posted by TurtleWA

Some people believe the classroom is helping prepare kids for later in life when they have jobs. Your not always going to be able to work with your first (or best) choice of colleague in the future. Or work one on one with someone. So kids need to learn how to deal with these thing a little better. How to work in groups and how to communicate that they need time with a specific person and not a group. Or be okay in accepting many people into a group to work. It’s not all about play it’s about preparation for future work skills.

But there is enormous difference between kindergarten and the job.

Anyway Utrommaniac said everything better than I ever could.

[newfan]

Originally Posted by TurtleWA

Kids learn through play. So if a kids is old enough to play they are old enough to learn, imo. I imagine some “working age” people still do not know how to work in groups or one-on-one, both are important.

Yes, I know kids learn through play and that they are learning all the time, I just had skills for the workplace down as something that they learn in/during childhood, but not really necessary at age 3/4. Just difference in opinion. My son came out of school complaining that they were put into groups for sessions where they had to interact with the children in their group and not who they wanted but these were 5/6 year olds in their 2nd year of school, that I get, they are past the first year of more play and the freedom to interact with who they want throughout the day. (course they still do outside of these group activities)

[FredWolfLeonardo]

I ate dirt at kindergarden when I was 3/4, pretty sure that contributed jack to my job skills in the future

[TurtleWA]

Originally Posted by Utrommaniac

It's micromanaging

Preschool age kids need more managing because they are kids. It’s a balanced approach. Not so much of helicopter parenting/teacher and not so much free-range parenting/teacher.

Originally Posted by Utrommaniac

Attempting to eliminate "cliques" at this point in life prevents kids from being unable to cope when it starts happening in the future. It happens, no matter what, and it's easier to learn it when they're younger and more emotionally malleable.

I interpret it as encouraging students to have a larger group of friends. And in these groups the moments to practice coping skills will arise.

Originally Posted by Utrommaniac

Removes the inevitable teaching moment when "you're not my best friend anymore" situations occur

There will always be times in life for those teaching moments surrounding rejection and/or loss of relationship.

Originally Posted by Utrommaniac

Kids don't totally have a grasp on what "best" is, so for a lot of kids, their entire class would be their "best friend"

I don’t think the concept is talking about the kids that consider the entire class their “best friend.”

[TurtleWA]

Originally Posted by newfan

Yes, I know kids learn through play and that they are learning all the time, I just had skills for the workplace down as something that they learn in/during childhood, but not really necessary at age 3/4. Just difference in opinion. My son came out of school complaining that they were put into groups for sessions where they had to interact with the children in their group and not who they wanted but these were 5/6 year olds in their 2nd year of school, that I get, they are past the first year of more play and the freedom to interact with who they want throughout the day.

Learning milestones in the social skills category for 3 and 4 year olds say “play well with other children and be willing to share” and “play with other children rather than just side by side.” So that’s what I was basing my statements from. However it’s not about mastery of these skill at 3/4 or even 5/6. It’s about exposure and practice year after year. And hopefully when adults it will have paid off with ease of workplace interactions. This is all my opinion and people are welcome to have their own.

[newfan]

Originally Posted by TurtleWA

Learning milestones in the social skills category for 3 and 4 year olds say “play well with other children and be willing to share” and “play with other children rather than just side by side.” So that’s what I was basing my statements from. However it’s not about mastery of these skill at 3/4 or even 5/6. It’s about exposure and practice year after year. And hopefully when adults it will have paid off with ease of workplace interactions. This is all my opinion and people are welcome to have their own.

Okay putting it this way comes across differently to me, this I agree with, start off age appropriately as you described with things like sharing, I know side by side play is considered normal for this age group but interactive play is encouraged here, then build over the years.

[Sumac]

Originally Posted by TurtleWA

I interpret it as encouraging students to have a larger group of friends. And in these groups the moments to practice coping skills will arise.

Still won't stop them from being closer with some people than the others. Even if they can't say this "dreaded" best friends.

Originally Posted by TurtleWA

There will always be times in life for those teaching moments surrounding rejection and/or loss of relationship.

The earlier kids get how the real world works - the better. No need to infantilize them even further.

[plastroncafe]

Children, especially children at that age, don't know how to people let alone how to socialize. They're learning how to share at that stage, they're learning about personal space and boundaries.

These are really important lessons that have far reaching implications.

Now I don't have pre-school aged children, but if I did I'd make sure I was on board with the philosophy of the pre-school I sent them to. If I wasn't...I'd send them to a different one.

But I would then trust my teachers to have the best interest of my kids at heart when it comes to actually teaching them.

Here's to hoping this little girl is too young to learn the lesson: When the world tells me I can't do something, mommy and daddy will swoop in and fix it for me, because...otherwise I might feel sad about being told no.

[Sumac]

Continuing with "PC gone mad" trend here's news across the pond:
19 year old was found guilty of "hate crime" after posting lyrics of world-famous rapper Snap Dogg on her Instagram to pay tribute to a boy who died in a road crash.
Never mind, that this song was performed in front of thousands people and message on Instagram didn't had malicious intent. But potential offense trumps logic. It's all about feelings now.

[Jester]

Good to see the Count Dankula case is setting precedence....Oye.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by Sumac

Continuing with "PC gone mad" trend here's news across the pond:
19 year old was found guilty of "hate crime" after posting lyrics of world-famous rapper Snap Dogg on her Instagram to pay tribute to a boy who died in a road crash.
Never mind, that this song was performed in front of thousands people and message on Instagram didn't had malicious intent. But potential offense trumps logic. It's all about feelings now.

That's definitely where the trajectory we're on leads. To "enlightened" stuff like that.

Originally Posted by Jester

Good to see the Count Dankula case is setting precedence....Oye.

That case has been going on for a long time. Initially he was literally arrested... for making this video:

[ProphetofGanja]

Does anybody else here actually work at a preschool? No, just me? Okay

[plastroncafe]

Preschool kids are a bit younger than the ones I deal with on a professional basis. I know quite a few people who work in early childhood education.

And usually what they tell me is that the children are wonderful, but that it's the parents who are abhorrent.