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Old 03-13-2019, 10:26 PM   #1
snake
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If you had to fight an animal in a cage match, which animal would you fight?

You and one animal. You have to fight them in an MMA-style cage. You’re completely naked aside from a wrapping to protect your junk. You have no weapons. The only rule is that you have to pick something that has the ability to kill a human on land.

Personally, I’m going with a kangaroo. I think I could take one.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:31 PM   #2
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Personally, Im going with a kangaroo. I think I could take one.
Some kangaroos know boxing, though!

I'm gonna guess I'm not allowed to pick small insects or things like spiders and snails, so...

A rather harmless animal like a duck or a chicken. No way I could fight a bear, a tiger, a wolf or an ape and get away with it.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:33 PM   #3
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Technically parasites and such can kill a human on land, which is the only stipulation. If you think you can take out a venomous snake before it takes you out then go for it.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:35 PM   #4
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Technically parasites and such can kill a human on land, which is the only stipulation. If you think you can take out a venomous snake before it takes you out then go for it.
Nah, not a chance.

Most humans wouldn't be able to kill an animal in a fight bare handed unless it was a duck or something since it's a small non-aggressive animal that you could just squish its neck or smth.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:37 PM   #5
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I cant believe how disproportionatly weak we are compared to animals yet were somehow the dominant species on earth just because were more intelligent.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:41 PM   #6
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I can’t believe how disproportionatly weak we are compared to animals yet we’re somehow the dominant species on earth just because we’re more intelligent.
I'm gonna guess that's Mother Nature's way of balancing things. Imagine if we're also as physically strong as many animals are and had heightened senses? We'd have slaughtered every other species on the planet by now. Although I think the main reason we decided to come up with a lot of our current inventions is precisely because we lack those physical advantages many animal species have, so if we were as strong as gorillas and had sense of smell as good as dogs do we'd probably still be satisfied living without tvs.
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Old 03-13-2019, 11:54 PM   #7
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I don't want to pick something that is too easy to defeat, that would make for a pathetic fight.

I would maybe pick a Cheetah, since its more a runner than a fighter.

A lone wolf on the other hand, would be a more worthy combatant that a strong man can overcome a reasonable amount of time, but carries more risk due to its incredibly strong bite and endurance.

I would not pick a Leopard or anything bigger though, because I respect that they are much stronger than us, and would rip a human apart 90% of the time.
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Old 03-13-2019, 11:56 PM   #8
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I can barely keep up with domestic dogs at work, why would I do that?

(But you maniacs going for a kangaroo, what are you thinking???)
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:41 AM   #9
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Any of the big cats. Felines love me- I'd win through chin scratches and tummy rubs!! And catnip....
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Old 03-14-2019, 01:52 PM   #10
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The heck...? lol

Eh, lets go with a cougar. Maybe there are teeth and claws to worry about, but they're ambush predators that would rather attack from behind, so in this situation it's already lost one of its primary strengths and methods it's most confident in. Brave (and probably young and foolish) ones aside, most are supposedly fearful and avoidant of humans and, according research, are likely to flee upon hearing human voices, so most would rather not tangle with a human if they don't have to. Trapped in a cage, esp with a human, it may be more concerned with finding an exit route than attacking if avoidable.

Only a moderate sized predator that only weighs in at a similar range of average adult humans which is probably a plus. The best, and maybe only, option is probably going for the throat like this guy and try to avoid the business end being face to face as much as possible.

Now, personally, I'd rather not hurt it (or get hurt), so hopefully the pretty kitty and I can just find a slight comfortable trust to keep our distance and both wait for the one who forced us into this to get bored enough to stop waiting for it to happen.



I wouldn't trust that kangaroo... They may weight less than a cougar, but seem far more eager to start fights with people for the heck of it. And if it's not myth that those back claws could gut you, er, yeah...pass...


Quote:
Originally Posted by snake View Post
Technically parasites and such can kill a human on land, which is the only stipulation.
That crossed my mind... parasite in a jar. *shakes jar* I win. Unless you have to swallow the thing, if it's an internal one... In that case just immediately take an anti-parasitic medication.

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I can’t believe how disproportionatly weak we are compared to animals yet we’re somehow the dominant species on earth just because we’re more intelligent.
Smart minds and tool use, we didn't need to grow stronger and we may not be as strong as ancient ancestors since the need to be is much less now. Heck, we out competed our supposedly more robust ancient cousins that died off long ago. Seems we always had a knack for compensating well.

Last edited by IndigoErth; 03-14-2019 at 02:02 PM.
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Old 03-14-2019, 01:59 PM   #11
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Hyena, wolf, big fvcking pitbull or Rottweiler. I've always thought I could handle a vicious canine in a pinch.

If not, well, at least it wasn't a chihuahua.
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