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Old 03-13-2019, 10:23 PM   #41
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I remember that, too. I got a lot of that. Though I do believe 99% of them were lying that said they had (but I don't doubt it's very different in 2019!).

Until high school itself I was pretty awkward with girls. Throughout middle school/junior high I would fall head over heels in love with this girl, or that girl for a year or two... but I'd build them up so much in my mind that talking to them was impossible. Unthinkable. So I'd mostly do what most dudes did at that age and either insult them or pick on them (not in a physical way, just being really, really annoying and obnoxious, as if that was a surefire way to win their attention).

After 8th grade I had the fortune of going to summer camp (rather, I was forced by my parents). Performance Sailing camp. Just me, 8 girls and no dudes but me, and sleeping in teepees in the woods for 2 weeks. Amazingly fun! I really liked one girl there but another one decided she liked me so she basically bullied the other one away. Bummer! We became boyfriend and girlfriend even after camp but she got fairly annoying (would like to talk on the phone for hours, and kept making plans for us without asking me) so I ghosted her until she got the message.

Freshman year I made the decision -- no more awkwardness. Find a girl and go after her. After a couple of "Ehhh nos" and one "I thought you were gay!" I did find a girl. And relatively smooth sailing from then.
Bingo. Until the middle-late years of HS a lot of guys speak like they're big sex champions despite having little to no experience. I noticed all of that tough talk decreased considerably around 11th-12th grade, when suddenly everyone had a bf/gf or already had had one at some point, and I assume had sex already. And the few kids who remained virgins still kept quiet about it. I do remember it being more embarrassing to openly admit you never had dated by the time you were 18, though. Probably even more embarrassing than admitting to being a virgin.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:37 PM   #42
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Bingo. Until the middle-late years of HS a lot of guys speak like they're big sex champions despite having little to no experience. I noticed all of that tough talk decreased considerably around 11th-12th grade, when suddenly everyone had a bf/gf or already had had one at some point, and I assume had sex already. And the few kids who remained virgins still kept quiet about it. I do remember it being more embarrassing to openly admit you never had dated by the time you were 18, though. Probably even more embarrassing than admitting to being a virgin.
Yeah, people were definitely getting it in around 11-12. Some at 10. Not before that, not in any significant number, no way. Only one guy I knew probably was.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:47 PM   #43
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Yeah, people were definitely getting it in around 11-12. Some at 10. Not before that, not in any significant number, no way. Only one guy I knew probably was.
It's hard to say exactly when most people lost their V-cards, since it's not something you go around asking, but I seriously doubt most people I know lost theirs before the age of 15. Most people I knew by the age of 14-15 had barely kissed anyone yet. And I remember in science and sex ed classes and such a lot of people still had questions back when I was in 9th grade and would laugh or get very excited if they saw nudity or sex in a movie. I remember this guy who sat next to me in class opening his 9th grade science book and eventually seeing a depiction of a penis inside a vagina and he was like "OH MAN, LOOK AT THIS"

People who had gfs/bfs when they were under 14 were rather early bloomers. And they probably didn't do more than kissing during recess. When I was in 4th grade I don't recall anyone form my school having a bf/gf. Everyone was still in the "the opposite sex has cooties!" phase. In 5th grade I had a classmate who had a gf already and the teacher found it funny when he told her. He was definitely an early bloomer.

It's hard to say, but apparently the average age for people to lose their virginity in most Western countries is around 16-17 years old according to a couple of studies I read a long time ago.

When people talk about how "old is too old to still be a virgin" the answers seem to be 18 at the very least, so I guess 16-17 being the average age makes sense.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:05 AM   #44
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I do remember it being more embarrassing to openly admit you never had dated by the time you were 18, though. Probably even more embarrassing than admitting to being a virgin.
I generally just wanted to avoid doing sexual stuff when I was 18/19. Probably just size insecurities.
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Old 03-14-2019, 02:25 PM   #45
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If every girl could see my posts on this website, my virginity issue would be fixed instantly.
But then, other problems, if you got someone pregnant.
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Old 03-15-2019, 01:00 AM   #46
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That pressure happens to every guy, I'd wager. I remember in 8th grade a couple of guys having gfs already and joking how guys who hadn't had one yet were gay. That's how a lot of teenage guys try to one up each other. They measure their worth by the fact whether they've dated or made out with girls or not. I noticed that mentality lasted until 11th grade or so. Then suddenly no one cared anymore. I'm gonna guess it's because, by then, pretty much everyone had actually lost their virginity already and realised it wasn't that big of a deal as they thought it would be. I remember being 17 and being asked by two other guys from my school if I was virgin still and all they did was say "come on, man!" which basically meant "you better get on to that, man!", but that's it. They didn't mock me or anything. And I also wasn't bothered by the fact I was still a virgin at the time. I was a bit of a late bloomer, and even though I obviously was attracted to girls at the time I didn't view dating or sex as a priority nor was I into any of the girls from my class/school.
It can go as far as 12th grade too, and even past that. In one class, I had these four guys around me, basically just talking crap. One of them didn't give me that much crap about anything, but then he decided to ask me if I was a virgin, but all I told them was that it's private.

I decided to ask someone why people were on my case about not talking to girls while there were a couple of other guys who didn't seem to make themselves popular with girls. He explained to me that the girls liked me as a friend and found me easy to talk to, while as for the other guys I mentioned, he said one was very quiet and the other was a little edgy. I admitted that the same things can be said of me, and have been, but he claims it wasn't to the degree to which those guys were. I found that quite odd since I saw things much differently. He said that one thing people liked about me was that I didn't judge, but I knew I could be a bastard at times, and I figured that I must have ruined my chances of hooking up with any girls in the school even though there were those who were at least friendly with me. Still, there were those who didn't appear to think too highly of me, and even made sure I knew it. I still thought I was a good person overall, but there were times when my bad side would surface since I was dealing with a lot of crap from others. Plus there were guys who would be so critical of me, and made it sound as though no girl in her right mind would give me the time of day. So I find the guy's answer to my question kind of ironic, considering he was one of those guys.

I actually had one girl tell me that I don't look like someone who'd have a girlfriend, since she claims I'm so quiet. She was also the same girl who once before told me that she can't believe I've never had one since I'm so nice. Then she said that most girls just to play games, and therefore it was okay that I was single.

There was another girl who thought that I shouldn't have trouble getting a girlfriend, but I couldn't tell if that was a compliment, or if she was just underestimating how hard it can be for some guys to make that happen. It probably was a compliment, but then you'd have to have heard the way she said it. She's a girl, and they're basically the ones who just get to sit there and look cute while the guys do all the work.

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Bingo. Until the middle-late years of HS a lot of guys speak like they're big sex champions despite having little to no experience. I noticed all of that tough talk decreased considerably around 11th-12th grade, when suddenly everyone had a bf/gf or already had had one at some point, and I assume had sex already. And the few kids who remained virgins still kept quiet about it. I do remember it being more embarrassing to openly admit you never had dated by the time you were 18, though. Probably even more embarrassing than admitting to being a virgin.
I know two guys who were in my grade admitted to being virgins when we were in 12th grade. I still was myself, but I didn't put that out there unless it was to someone who I thought I could trust. I seemed to have made this one girl's day, since she said she never thought any guy would admit to being a virgin. As for the aforementioned guys, it probably would have been more acceptable with them, but not so much with me. It's just one of the many double standards I dealt with back then.

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When people talk about how "old is too old to still be a virgin" the answers seem to be 18 at the very least, so I guess 16-17 being the average age makes sense.
That's why I said earlier that the mentality can go past high school even.

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But then, other problems, if you got someone pregnant.
That's why I was glad that I didn't lose my virginity before finishing high school when I looked back. When I was in 10th grade, I found out this one girl already had a kid. There were two girls in my grade who didn't return to the school for our junior year, and I would learn that they both had gotten pregnant. When I was a junior, I also found out this guy in my grade had a daughter.

I might have had one or two opportunities to lose my virginity during my high school days by girls from the same school, but if I really did have a chance, then I'm glad it didn't happen. Something could have gone wrong, and it would have gotten around the school. That's what happened with one of my friends back then.
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Old 03-15-2019, 01:26 AM   #47
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But then, other problems, if you got someone pregnant.
She should feel blessed that she's carrying my seed.
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Old 03-15-2019, 02:28 PM   #48
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I still thought I was a good person overall, but there were times when my bad side would surface since I was dealing with a lot of crap from others.
Did you get people being racist towards you?
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Old 03-16-2019, 10:28 AM   #49
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Did you get people being racist towards you?
No racism. It had more to do with people not understanding my quirks, or my actions, or decisions I made. So I'd have people telling me I'm stupid or calling me a retard, but it's not my fault that that's all they knew.
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Old 03-16-2019, 11:45 AM   #50
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I generally just wanted to avoid doing sexual stuff when I was 18/19. Probably just size insecurities.
I was insecure, but not about that subject. More like about being skinny and not having much in common with most teenagers I knew.

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She should feel blessed that she's carrying my seed.
Bad idea. You're a bit too young to be a father.
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Old 03-16-2019, 04:21 PM   #51
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I was insecure, but not about that subject. More like about being skinny and not having much in common with most teenagers I knew.
Were people making judgemental comments about your body?
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Old 03-18-2019, 08:09 AM   #52
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Something could have gone wrong, and it would have gotten around the school.
Yes, the annoying gossip spreading around high school.

We had to do swimming for a few weeks, as part of PE classes, in year 10. I was the only one in the group that couldn't actually swim, then after morning break, I kept getting comments about it from people in English and Maths class.

And then, someone I sat next to in Science class randomly brought it up a few weeks later. We were going to have to do swimming again in year 11, but fortunately they ran out of time in the PE schedule.
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Old 03-23-2019, 07:18 PM   #53
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Yes, the annoying gossip spreading around high school.
And people wondered why I was such a private person.
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Old 03-26-2019, 02:40 PM   #54
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And people wondered why I was such a private person.
I had a guy in year 9 that kept pestering me, trying to find out what my middle name was, for some reason.
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Old 04-05-2019, 01:28 PM   #55
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Were people making judgemental comments about your body?
People joked about how I was too thin and not very physically strong. That annoyed me.
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Old 04-06-2019, 03:55 PM   #56
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People joked about how I was too thin and not very physically strong.
When I was 15, someone once commented about wanting to fight me if I was slightly taller. I think he was joking though. He didn't come across as particular hostile in general.

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That annoyed me.
Were people deliberately just trying to provoke a reaction out of you?
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:00 PM   #57
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When I was 15, someone once commented about wanting to fight me if I was slightly taller. I think he was joking though. He didn't come across as particular hostile in general.



Were people deliberately just trying to provoke a reaction out of you?
No clue.

But in school guys with bad athletic ability are always felt a bit left out and have their classmates acting upset with them for not being natural born Maradonas or Ronaldinhos.

I like football and all, but only seldom played it in school outside of P.E. class because I had no talent for it and thus most of the other kids didn't want me in their teams. Football during recess is serious business up until 9th grade or so...
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:33 PM   #58
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I like football and all, but only seldom played it in school outside of P.E. class because I had no talent for it and thus most of the other kids didn't want me in their teams. Football during recess is serious business up until 9th grade or so...
It was like that with me, except it was basketball. A lot of guys were into that in my high school. There was one guy who lived two houses away from me who attended high school with me who was also in my grade. He'd go around telling people about how I've got a basketball hoop in my backyard and I never use it. Well, there always had been. Then my mother came home with a new one one day for whatever reason and had it put up later. I never even asked for it. So he was just all in my business.

He'd even talk about how he'd see cats in my backyard, but I'm not sure why he'd think that's such a big deal. Maybe he saw it as an equivalent to having a roach infestation, although there weren't that many cats. So I never saw that as a big deal, since I don't even have a problem with cats. It just goes to show you that people will find any stupid reason to go after others.
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:37 PM   #59
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It was like that with me, except it was basketball. A lot of guys were into that in my high school. There was one guy who lived two houses away from me who attended high school with me who was also in my grade. He'd go around telling people about how I've got a basketball hoop in my backyard and I never use it. Well, there always had been. Then my mother came home with a new one one day for whatever reason and had it put up later. I never even asked for it. So he was just all in my business.

He'd even talk about how he'd see cats in my backyard, but I'm not sure why he'd think that's such a big deal. Maybe he saw it as an equivalent to having a roach infestation, although there weren't that many cats. So I never saw that as a big deal, since I happen to like cats anyway. It just goes to show you that people will find any stupid reason to go after others.
One guy once called me "gay" in HS because I said I preferred cats to dogs. And I remember a couple of guys back in 6th grade calling me "gay" because I had poor soccer skills. This obviously sounds incredibly stupid and nonsensical, but you know how kids can be.

Tb basketball was the sport I was the least bad at. Probably because there were usually more girls than guys in my classes and thus I was usually taller than most of my classmates. It was easy to receive a pass or block a shot when I had a shirt girl next to me lol. But I sucked at scoring points, even though I did it a few times. After all basketball is a quite high scoring sport.
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Old 04-06-2019, 05:04 PM   #60
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One guy once called me "gay" in HS because I said I preferred cats to dogs. And I remember a couple of guys back in 6th grade calling me "gay" because I had poor soccer skills. This obviously sounds incredibly stupid and nonsensical, but you know how kids can be.
I was only called gay, or more like it was suspected that I was, since people claimed they never saw me talking to girls. One guy I worked with at a summer job took it to a whole new level and thought I might be slow or retarded since I hadn't been talking to our female co-workers. He also thought that because he was under the impression that I didn't listen to rap since I once said I listen to alternative (as it was called back then). You know, because it's just not possible to enjoy more than one type of music.
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