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Old 03-15-2017, 02:53 PM   #1
IndigoErth
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"And then the murders began."

Inspired by this article titled
Quote:
Improve any novel by changing its second line to “And then the murders began”

http://www.avclub.com/article/improv...and-the-251576
And it works especially good with kid's books! Here's a couple I threw together.


From (2003) TMNT book "Tricks and Treats":
Quote:
April opened her apartment door, letting in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And then the murders began.


From a version of Henny Penny/Chicken Little:
Quote:
One day Henny Penny was out in the barnyard pecking for corn when all of a sudden, something hit her on the head. Then the murders began.
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Old 03-15-2017, 04:38 PM   #2
Utrommaniac
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Honestly, this was the only contribution I can think of.

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Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.

And then the murders began
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Old 03-15-2017, 04:42 PM   #3
TheSkeletonMan939
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On the 15th of May, in the Jungle of Nool, in the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool, he was splashing, enjoying the jungle's great joys, when Horton the elephant heard a small noise. And then the murders began.

... I guess Horton heard a voice that was telling him to kill.
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Old 03-15-2017, 04:54 PM   #4
Optimus Primer
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It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began.
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Old 03-15-2017, 05:18 PM   #5
DestronMirage22
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From Predator Incursion:

The sounds echoed, deep and heavy, thudding in her chest like death's metronome. And then the murders began.
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Old 03-15-2017, 07:15 PM   #6
Utrommaniac
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Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. And then the murders began.
Or "And that's how murders began"???
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Old 03-15-2017, 07:35 PM   #7
plastroncafe
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The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed.
And then the murders began.

Or my other favorite.

"My name is Leonardo."
And then the murders began.
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Old 03-15-2017, 08:57 PM   #8
Utrommaniac
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To Mrs. Saville, England
St. Petersburgh, Dec. 11th, 17—
You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings. I arrived here yesterday, and my first task is to assure my dear sister of my welfare and
increasing confidence in the success of my undertaking.

But then the murders began...
I mean...it's not entirely wrong...
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Old 03-16-2017, 01:33 PM   #9
IndigoErth
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All good, but that Horton one just killed me. (Pun intended I guess? lol)
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Old 03-16-2017, 02:03 PM   #10
Utrommaniac
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Once an angry man dragged his father along the ground through his own orchard. "Stop!" cried the groaning old man at last, "Stop! I did not drag my father beyond this tree."
And then the murders began
I just searched "classic book openings" and this is one that seemed...entirely appropriate. That does seem like a reasonable place for murders to start.
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Old 03-16-2017, 05:23 PM   #11
Optimus Primer
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From Tom Sawyer Chapter 2:

Saturday morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if the heart was young the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step. The locust trees were in bloom and the fragrance of the blossoms filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above it, was green
with vegetation, and it lay just far enough away to seem a Delectable Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting.
And then the murders began.
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Old 03-16-2017, 09:03 PM   #12
MsMarvelDuckie
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Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. And then the murders began.

(Opening to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)
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http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_C...?showforum=188
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Old 03-16-2017, 09:13 PM   #13
Utrommaniac
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I almost considered the Gone with the Wind opening, but it goes on too long about her pretty appearance (even though it literally starts with "Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful").

So, instead

Quote:
Rumo was good at fighting. At the beginning of his story, however, he had no inkling of this, nor did he know that he was a Wolperting and would one day become Zamonia's most illustrious hero. He had no name, nor did he have the faintest recollection of his parents. He didn't know where he came from or where he would go. All he knew was that the farmyard where he grew up was his kingdom. And then the murders began.
Gruesome, gruesome murders...Rumo's a great book and I haven't read it in years, nor the other Zamonia stories. But I want to!
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