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Old 05-31-2018, 02:49 PM   #41
Sumac
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In the light of this an obvious question: what they gonna do about forks?
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Old 06-01-2018, 02:38 AM   #42
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Sporks.

Although I promise you, with time and motivation, I could - and would - still sever someone's jugular with a spork.

So after that... who knows?
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Old 06-01-2018, 06:51 AM   #43
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Aim higher: try to decapitate someone with a tea spoon!!
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Old 06-01-2018, 07:01 AM   #44
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Sporks.

Although I promise you, with time and motivation, I could - and would - still sever someone's jugular with a spork.

So after that... who knows?

Spork assassin!!!


And am I the only one who suddenly thought of that line from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves?

"I'll cut out his heart with a spoon!"
"Why a spoon, cousin? Why not a knife or a fork?"
"Because it's DULL, you twit! It'll HURT more!"
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Old 06-01-2018, 07:04 AM   #45
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I like that movie.
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Old 06-01-2018, 09:46 AM   #46
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Sporks.

Although I promise you, with time and motivation, I could - and would - still sever someone's jugular with a spork.

So after that... who knows?
Oh, they will find something else to go after. Trust me. Gotta save lives!
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Old 06-01-2018, 10:19 AM   #47
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Oh, they will find something else to go after. Trust me. Gotta save lives!
Canes, maybe. You could beat somebody to death with a stout enough cane or walking stick.
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Old 06-01-2018, 10:58 AM   #48
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Canes, maybe. You could beat somebody to death with a stout enough cane or walking stick.
and with some proper training in hapkido, kali, goju-shorei karate or bartitsu, you know exactly where and how to strike with a cane.
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Old 06-01-2018, 10:59 AM   #49
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They're are titanium umbrellas out there that can chop a watermelon in half.

Of course they have the NHS there, so it's a lot easier for people who need health care to get it.
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Old 06-01-2018, 02:04 PM   #50
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Oh, they will find something else to go after. Trust me. Gotta save lives!
Toothpicks and pens?
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Old 06-01-2018, 02:14 PM   #51
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Toothpicks and pens?
Whatever it takes. In 2040 it will be mandatory to walk in public in a plastic bubble suit... it might save lives.
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Old 06-01-2018, 09:58 PM   #52
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Whatever it takes. In 2040 it will be mandatory to walk in public in a plastic bubble suit... it might save lives.
And everyone will refer to each other as "it" and use shells to wipe their ass...I have a feeling I have seen this somewhere...?
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Old 06-04-2018, 11:21 PM   #53
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How about potato peelers? Good thing the UK is removing those "offensive weapons".

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Man in court for having potato peeler in public place

A MAN ended up behind bars after being found in a Dunfermline street with an offensive weapon, a potato peeler.

Scott Walker, 39, of the James Bank Hostel, James Street, appeared from custody at Dunfermline Sheriff Court.

He admitted that on Saturday in Appin Crescent, a public place, he was in possession of an object that which had a blade or was sharply pointed, namely a potato peeler.

Defence solicitor Selina McKay said her client “suffers from significant learning difficulties which have been lifelong”.

Sheriff Pino di Emidio called for reports and Walker will return to court on May 16 for sentencing.
http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news..._public_place/
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Old 06-05-2018, 12:03 AM   #54
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Old 06-05-2018, 12:30 AM   #55
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I love the direction this thread has taken.
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The biggest villains were the censors. What they could do without being held back is my question. Shredder could've done more than blow up the Channel Six building. I don't mean as far as murdering Splinter, but think of the possibilities if censors were not an issue. Shredder and Krang combined had the biggest arsenal of any villains in all of the cartoons.
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Old 06-05-2018, 02:45 AM   #56
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Not out of reach in London, considering what a joke Sadiq Khan is.
With London being more crime rampant and dangerous than New York City or pretty close to it, nice to see Sadiq Khan fighting the real problem... banning junk food advertisements.
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Old 06-05-2018, 09:55 AM   #57
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But you know, banning junk food is an important thing! It allows to virtue signal and don't do anything worthy as opposed to studying why violence is rising in the city, which might lead to uncomfortable answers.
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Old 06-09-2018, 02:16 AM   #58
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Pens and Pencils are kind of pointy. I was stabbed in the hand by one when I was a kid. I think we should ban'm.
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Old 06-09-2018, 05:18 AM   #59
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Pens and Pencils are kind of pointy. I was stabbed in the hand by one when I was a kid. I think we should ban'm.
Don't forget about Chinese food sticks!! It's pure weapon of assassination!!

Oh wait, it might smell like racism, if they ban them. But I am sure, lefties will get over it, given enough "reasoning" (AKA ********, which doesn't solve the problem at all, but looks "brave").
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