How do you feel about polygamy?

[TigerClaw]

There are people out there who are not comfortable having a monogamous relationship. so they end up having open relationship which allows them to date other people. But still stay married.

[PApagreg]

As long as its between consenting adults and there is no hint of abuse then Im okay with it

[Redeemer]

This kind of thing I really can never understand. From a psychology stand point I understand why a man would do it if he is just seeking as many partners as possible.(To increase his chance of passing on his DNA) But not a woman.

[Leo656]

Anecdotally, the only people I've personally known who have attempted to initiate and maintain such an arrangement were women. Worked out great for them, short-term; twice as many guys around to work and pay bills and whatnot.

From the outside looking in, it appeared to be a transparent attempt at manipulating various men into supporting the woman's lifestyle. I'm assuming the men eventually began to suspect the same thing, because in the end nobody was speaking to anyone else. I've only seen it attempted a few times, but it always ended the same way. One guy moved halfway across the country to get away from the girl who f*cked him over so badly. Just up and fled in the middle of the night once he realized she'd been playing him for a chump. Bad scene.

On the surface, I would want to agree that it's a situation that favors the male - "More pu$$y! Whooooooo!" - but in my personal experience, most men want the women to get the f*ck out of sight as soon as the sex is over. Generally, you don't want them hanging around. Therefore, juggling multiple women may seem like Heaven on the surface, but Hell in actuality. The women, meanwhile, can get a lot more out of such an arrangement than just sex, so perhaps that's why they seem to be more proactive in instigating and maintaining a polyamorous relationship.

Again, this is just what I've observed up close. I'm sure it's different for some people, and there's all kinds of variables involved. It just doesn't seem like a good idea long-term. And the people who attempt it usually come off looking somewhat shady, for reasons not limited to but definitely including that.

[PApagreg]

Originally Posted by Redeemer

This kind of thing I really can never understand. From a psychology stand point I understand why a man would do it if he is just seeking as many partners as possible.(To increase his chance of passing on his DNA) But not a woman.

Because just like men, women get horny too and some of them like the idea of having more than one male partner. Also you are confusing psychology with biology.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by Leo656

Anecdotally, the only people I've personally known who have attempted to initiate and maintain such an arrangement were women. Worked out great for them, short-term; twice as many guys around to work and pay bills and whatnot.

From the outside looking in, it appeared to be a transparent attempt at manipulating various men into supporting the woman's lifestyle. I'm assuming the men eventually began to suspect the same thing, because in the end nobody was speaking to anyone else. I've only seen it attempted a few times, but it always ended the same way. One guy moved halfway across the country to get away from the girl who f*cked him over so badly. Just up and fled in the middle of the night once he realized she'd been playing him for a chump. Bad scene.

On the surface, I would want to agree that it's a situation that favors the male - "More pu$$y! Whooooooo!" - but in my personal experience, most men want the women to get the f*ck out of sight as soon as the sex is over. Generally, you don't want them hanging around. Therefore, juggling multiple women may seem like Heaven on the surface, but Hell in actuality. The women, meanwhile, can get a lot more out of such an arrangement than just sex, so perhaps that's why they seem to be more proactive in instigating and maintaining a polyamorous relationship.

Again, this is just what I've observed up close. I'm sure it's different for some people, and there's all kinds of variables involved. It just doesn't seem like a good idea long-term. And the people who attempt it usually come off looking somewhat shady, for reasons not limited to but definitely including that.

That's kiiiind of what I suspect the end result is. But I'm not entirely sold. Like has been said, I'd like to see lots of examples and data of... triples? Quadruples? that have weathered the storm for 50 years happily.

I've seen a few examples myself of in-progress ones. But early in their progeny. Many that have combusted within the first couple of years (equally as many with kids involved, sadly... that's when the social media family shots stop for a while) but two I know of that are still going. And one has only to dip a tiny bit into dating apps (it was my experience, anyway, the latest two go-arounds) of lots of folks, "normal" couples seeking "a third," generally another female, with the dude largely being the one speaking for both parties and largely being the "voice" of the couple. At least around here in Seattle. Like, a lot. Like a really large lot. Like 10 times out of 10.

It's just really interesting. Like, what's going on? Like, "careful what you wish for"... maybe? But it seems so multi-layered.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by FredWolfLeonardo

The most common form of polygamy is actually one man being married to multiple women, and is most common in Africa and the Middle East.

A Malaysian guy I know has an uncle that has two wives and he is not even Muslim... both wives hate each other's guts

Originally Posted by Leo656

Anecdotally, the only people I've personally known who have attempted to initiate and maintain such an arrangement were women. Worked out great for them, short-term; twice as many guys around to work and pay bills and whatnot.

From the outside looking in, it appeared to be a transparent attempt at manipulating various men into supporting the woman's lifestyle. I'm assuming the men eventually began to suspect the same thing, because in the end nobody was speaking to anyone else. I've only seen it attempted a few times, but it always ended the same way. One guy moved halfway across the country to get away from the girl who f*cked him over so badly. Just up and fled in the middle of the night once he realized she'd been playing him for a chump. Bad scene.

On the surface, I would want to agree that it's a situation that favors the male - "More pu$$y! Whooooooo!" - but in my personal experience, most men want the women to get the f*ck out of sight as soon as the sex is over. Generally, you don't want them hanging around. Therefore, juggling multiple women may seem like Heaven on the surface, but Hell in actuality. The women, meanwhile, can get a lot more out of such an arrangement than just sex, so perhaps that's why they seem to be more proactive in instigating and maintaining a polyamorous relationship.

Again, this is just what I've observed up close. I'm sure it's different for some people, and there's all kinds of variables involved. It just doesn't seem like a good idea long-term. And the people who attempt it usually come off looking somewhat shady, for reasons not limited to but definitely including that.

Yeah, I mean, even for those who guys have never had sex:notice how after you're jacking off you lose all of your sex drive for a while and start feeling tired and sleepy? Sex and masturbation both make a guy tired and sleepy.

As for the open relationships stuff... yeah I doubt most work. Same for long distance. I've NEVER heard of a long distance relationship that worked.

And what about couples where only one of the sides is allowed to sleep around? As in women who don't mind their man having sex with other women or men who don't mind their women sleeping around, the latter being called "cuckolds".

Open relationships seem like a recipe for disaster, and I can't say it's a common thing. People are naturally jealous and believe relationships should be exclusive, as I do.

[plastroncafe]

What you're talking about is referred to as the refractory period.
And women have one too.

I would posit that the reason so few people have heard of good long-standing open relationships, is because only the bad ones get talked about.

most of the folks that I know who are in open relationships are also part of the Kink Community. A community that is still very much frowned upon, so that could be why y'all haven't heard of any good long term poly relationships.

One of the benefits of not being a jealous person is getting to have these conversations with people.

[Candy Kappa]

Didn't we do a thread about this before? Is the 'Drome just a big rerun forum now?

As long as it's consensual, I'm all for it.

[CyberCubed]

I assume this would be the most common with young people, like people in College who are just experimenting or fooling around. Same reason threesomes are so common now.

But if you mean a serious relationship when you get older, like your 30's+....I really don't see it working. Once you're an adult and take relationships seriously, your not going to want to share your loved one with someone else.

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

I assume this would be the most common with young people, like people in College who are just experimenting or fooling around. Same reason threesomes are so common now.

But if you mean a serious relationship when you get older, like your 30's+....I really don't see it working. Once you're an adult and take relationships seriously, your not going to want to share your loved one with someone else.

Proof?

/10characters

[FredWolfLeonardo]

Originally Posted by Prowler

A Malaysian guy I know has an uncle that has two wives and he is not even Muslim... both wives hate each other's guts

Sister Wives or not, it just seems some women can't help but hate each other lol. And if men are told to share, lets just say someone's most likely gonna hurt.

However, During one of my trips to Pakistan, I do remember meeting a guy with three wives at the hospital. The wives were happily talking to each other like they were close friends and the husband was one of the most jolly looking men I'd ever seen. The wives were wearing burkas and the man had a large beard so they were the tradtional types.

[BartAllen]

Two dudes one chick? One of the guys is a cuck.
Two girls one guy? One of the girls is usually 14.

I don't have a problem with what other adults choose to do, but it's not for me. I can barely please one woman at a time, and I doubt I'm even doing that.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Originally Posted by BartAllen

I don't have a problem with what other adults choose to do, but it's not for me. I can barely please one woman at a time, and I doubt I'm even doing that.

You, sir, have won the thread.

[plastroncafe]

One person's cuckold is another person's Lucky Pierre.

[PApagreg]

Originally Posted by BartAllen

Two dudes one chick? One of the guys is a cuck.

Would't they be both cucks sense they both screw the chick. Darnit wrong "sense"

[Cure]

I'm against it. Leave some bitches for me, man, damn.

[DarkFell]

Nah.

Polygamy might seem like a good idea in hindsight, but as Leo mentioned, sharing spouses can invoke / provoke some negative emotions. Personal emotions tinged with jealousy aren't the best of things to discuss at the dinner table with the kiddos and the other spouses present.

Also, that is way too many birthdays to remember.

[BartAllen]

Originally Posted by PApagreg

Would't they be both cucks sense they both screw the chick

Yea, you're right.

[Andrew NDB]

Originally Posted by Leo656

"More pu$$y! Whooooooo!" - but in my personal experience, most men want the women to get the f*ck out of sight as soon as the sex is over. Generally, you don't want them hanging around.

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

What you're talking about is referred to as the refractory period. And women have one too.

Everyone is different... but I've never really felt that. Maybe if there's like... incessant cuddling after 10 minutes. But that's pretty rare.

Originally Posted by Prowler

Same for long distance. I've NEVER heard of a long distance relationship that worked.

For real. People that live down the street from one another or even in the same home have trouble enough making things work... let alone across the continent or further.