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Old 10-24-2012, 06:35 AM   #21
ZariusTwo
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New sample. Leonardo finally gets quality time to spend with one of his brothers...unfortunatly, that brother uses it as a platform to talk about his favourite spy movie.

Spoiler:
INT: SEWER NETWORK

(In another part of the sewer hub, we rejoin Leonardo. His eyes are shut, he is taking deep breths. Suddenly, a pair of green fingers shaped like a gun point themselves to the side of Leo’s temple. It is Michelangelo)

MICHELANGELO:
Take the shot 007!

LEONARDO:
Mikey, please, you’re supposed to sit down and take in the experience…

MICHELANGELO:
Take the shot, what are you waiting for?

(Leo sighs)

LEONARDO:
Why do you have to do this every time I bring THIS out?

(he points to what he has in a GREY CASE opposite him. He opens it up. There, inside the case, is a BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH SLIGHTLY SCRATCHED, CELLO)

MICHELANGELO:
It’s not every day you get to see magic

LEONARDO:
It’s a CELLO, it’s a musical instrument…what does it do other than help sooth wild souls to assured stillness?

MICHELANGELO:
You can use it as a sleigh too. C’mon, we can try it down the stream just south of us

LEONARDO:
We are not riding this down any stream. Cellos are meant to be played and enjoyed, not be part of some wayward attempt to imitate some spy film

MICHELANGELO:
The Living Daylights is THE Spy film

LEONARDO:
And just why is that?

MICHELANGELO:
It’s got a back and forth plot where the good guys are not so clearly defined, you got fake assasinationss, you got this awesome looking car that rockets across a snow-covered landscape, you got that insane General and his action figure death machines

(starts making machine gun noises and mimics small explosions. Leonardo groans)

MICHELANGELO:
…And then there’s the tussel in the airplane, and the guy grabs Bond’s shoe and falls to his death WITH the shoe

(Mike flaps his arms about, simulating freefalling in the air)

LEONARDO:
I shouldn’t have asked.

(Mikey stops, folds his arms behind his back and leans towards Leo with a big grin on his face)

MICHELANGELO:
…And then of course there’s Cello girl.

LEONARDO:
Cello girl?

MICHELANGELO:
Bond’s girlfriend in the film. Well, she’s technically the girlfriend of the bad guy, but he starts treating her badly and she falls for Bond half-way through the movie. Really good looker too.

LEONARDO:
I’m trying to salvage something from this…but is the cello used for anything other than a sleigh and being the instrument of choice for a generic Bond chick”

MICHELANGELO:
Oh it gets played through the movie. Everything stops when that happens though

LEONARDO:
Good, I like it when everything stops.

(Leonardo lifts up the cello and makes preperations to play it. Mikey realizes the conversation has shifted in Leo’s favour, and his face begins to sag)

LEONARDO:
Sit down Mikey, and prepare to be left a little more cultured…

(Mikey sighs, and sits down, he places one hand on the right side of his face and looks on at Leo with a bored expression.

Leonardo begins to smile, relishing the captive audience of one. Just as he is about to perform however, Mikey sits upright, hearing something…voices)

MICHELANGELO:
Hey, I think the guys are back

(Leonardo is more than a little annoyed as Mikey gets up and dashes for the nearest exit tunnel)

LEONARDO:
Mikey, this is “WE” Time…

MICHELANGELO (shouting back as he continues to run)
It’ll be less of a drag if we’re all sitting down to hear ya play

LEONARDO (Muttering to himself):
Yeah, all so you can make faces and pester everybody while there trying to listen…

(Leonardo takes a look at the Cello, and gently places it down. An opportunity lost. It is now his turn to look glum and down-heartened)

Last edited by ZariusTwo; 10-24-2012 at 12:12 PM.
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Old 10-24-2012, 07:56 AM   #22
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Awesome interaction. You have two mistakes though: Breathes should be breaths and chelo should be cello. Other than that, good job. I really like where this is going.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:09 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BubblyShell22 View Post
Awesome interaction. You have two mistakes though: Breathes should be breaths and chelo should be cello. Other than that, good job. I really like where this is going.
Thanks. For some reason my word document programme didnt pick up on the mispelling of Cello. Will fix the other mistake. Glad you're enjoying it. I'm getting the script done a lot faster due to encouragement and advise.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:59 PM   #24
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Ah, I see. Bad word document. Bad!

Yeah, I've been getting a lot of stories done myself. Can't wait to post more stuff. I definitely want to post my sequel to Hide and Seek on Friday for sure.
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Old 10-24-2012, 01:09 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by BubblyShell22 View Post
Ah, I see. Bad word document. Bad!

Yeah, I've been getting a lot of stories done myself. Can't wait to post more stuff. I definitely want to post my sequel to Hide and Seek on Friday for sure.
Looking forward to it. I've also got another TMNT-related project in the works...and it's not the one I told you about over on FF.Net
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:51 AM   #26
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Ah, I see. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it myself, but it depends on my mood. We're supposed to get rain tomorrow, so I don't know if I'll have a headache or not. That usually determines whether I post stuff or not.
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Old 10-28-2012, 10:31 AM   #27
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Another sample, this one actually takes place just a few minutes after the last one I posted, rightafter Mikey meets April and Irma (and in the process of "dropping in" on them, injures his toe, explaining why he's hopping about in this scene), Leonardo isnt far behind...leading to a tense moment

Spoiler:
LEONARDO:
Back away from them Don. Slowly.

DONATELLO:
Leo, calm down, they're with us. This is April O’Neil. Remember? From the park?

LEONARDO:
You were told about this.

DONATELLO:
Leo, we need her help

LEONARDO:
We need noone.

(April steps forward, extending her hand)

APRIL:
Hey, I’d like to thank you for saving my…

(Leo swings his blade in her direction)

LEONARDO:
Take your friend and go.

(Raph places his hand on the blade and aggressively presses it down)

RAPHAEL:
Back off Leo. You heard Donny, she…

(Leonardo propels the blade up again, placing it directly below Raph’s chin. Raph is unphased)

LEONARDO:
Don’t push it Raph.

RAPHAEL:
Push? I don’t push Leo…I prod

(he removes his trench coat and swiftly unveils his sais, and, sure enough, prods Leo’s hand with them. Leo backs away slightly, positioning to attack)

APRIL:
Hey, HEY, I didn’t ask for this, let’s all cool our jets here

IRMA:
…Are you guys on the same side or not?

(Raph and Leo move about in a circle, weapons in hand, eyes fixated on the other)

RAPHAEL:
What do you say Leo?

LEONARDO:
We don’t say anything at this stage. There is only action.

RAPHAEL:
I don’t see you making any moves.

(Leo points to April and Irma)

LEONARDO:
If those two take another step further, I move in.

RAPHAEL:
And you’ll be stopped

LEONARDO:
Not by you.

(Raph notices something...he smiles)

RAPHAEL:
…You’re right. Not by me.

(April backs away slightly)

RAPHAEL:
,Move forward April

LEONARDO:
I’m warning you.

RAPHAEL:
Move April.

APRIL:
I’m not…

(Raphael motions for her to look to her right. She does. She gilmpses something. She catches on and nods to Raph, confirming that she understands. She grabs Irma’s hand and clutches it tightly)

APRIL:
Come on Irma. It’s safe

IRMA:
…He probably would hit someone with glasses April…ah why the hell not?

(EXTREME CLOSE-UPS of Leonardo and Raphael’s faces through SPLIT-SCREENS, sweat glands dripping down their foreheads, they tighten their hold on their weapons)

LEONARDO:
I’m warning you Raph. You try me, you WILL lose. This isn’t a game.

RAPHAEL:
You’re right. It isn’t….

(April and Irma move forward. Leonardo dashes for them…suddenly, Michelangelo, still hopping about the place in pain with his injured toe, SMASHES HEAD FIRST INTO LEONARDO. The Two turtles spill onto the ground, Leo’s blade drops also. Raphael takes the opportunity to laugh at Leo’s humiliation)

RAPHAEL (finishing his sentence):
…It’s totally a cartoon.

(Leonardo looks on at a dazed and baffled Mikey)

MICHELANGELO:
Sorry Leo…

(Leo shakes his head and shoves Mikey off of him, he brushes himself off)

LEONARDO:
…This doesn’t settle things Raph.

(Raph picks up the blade and aims squarely at Leo’s head)

RAPHAEL:
You’re right…school’s still in session. But we can get a time out over one simple word….just say it

LEONARDO:
Put that down you idiot

RAPHAEL:
Not until you say it.

(Leonardo staes Raph down again. Raph’s teeth grit.

SUDDENLY, A VOICE RINGS OUT)

VOICE:
RAPHAEL! STAND DOWN!

(Leonardo smiles. Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, April and Irma all look upwards. HIGH ABOVE THEM, IN THE CENTER OF THE TUNNE HIGH ABOVE, AN OMNOUS FIGURE CLOACKED IN SHADOW ADDRESSES THEM.

Donatello instantly recognizes the shadow. Each Turtles’ reaction is different, some filled with alertness (Don), joy (Mikey), reassurance (Leo), and dread (Raph))

DONATELLO:
SPLINTER

MICHELANGELO:
…Papa.

LEONARDO:
Sensei.

RAPHAEL:
Grounded.

(Raphael drops the blade. Leonardo picks it up and places it back in his shell. He gets up. The figure, identified in name as SPLINTER, remains barely visible to April and Irma)

SPLINTER:
What is this about?

LEONARDO:
Two of your sons have returned from the surface…they have brought humans with them…

(Mikey cuts him off)

MICHELANGELO:
Hey lemme tell the story…ok papa, Leo was all like “I gotta play”, and I’m like “yawn”, then I hear “yatter yatter” so I totally go “Geronimo”, I hit the floor, BAM, then…

(points to April)

MICHELANGELO (cont):
…I go “Va Va VOOM”

(April laughs)

MICHELANGELO:
…Then…

(points to foot)

MICHELANGELO:
…Ouch.

LEONARDO:
You done?


MICHELANGELO:
…Very ouch.

(another awkward pause)

MICHELANGELO:
Ok. Totally done.

LEONARDO:
…I tried to prevent them advancing. There was insurrection.

DONATELLO:
Master, this woman can help us join the dots and help me unravel more about the great struggle Raph went through some nights ago. It could help to save more lives affected by that foe.

LEONARDO:
This is not our concern.


SPLINTER
And what is our concern Leonardo?

LEONARDO:
Inevitability

SPLINTER:
Do they prepare us…or do we prepare them?

APRIL;
Look, me and my friend came down here voluntarily, we’re not asking for trouble

SPLINTER:
Then I shall ask for your company

LEONARDO:
But Master…

SPLINTER:
Remember what I told you about time, for it has been patient enough. Now we must make time for others

RAPHAEL:
Well it’s about time

DONATELLO:
Well that was timely

(Donatello and Raph move past a dumbstruck Leonardo and begin scaling the ladder leading back to the higher tunnel. Mikey hops over to it but can’t put weight down on his foot)

MICHELANGELO:
Um…guys? STILL Ouch

(April approaches him, she places her hands on his foot and examines it)

APRIL;
Here, let me look at it, I did physical therapy at college.

IRMA:
April, you don’t know where he’s been…

APRIL:
He went through hell in the park for me Irma, the least I can do is offer him relief from this.

(Mikey sits down, April does a little bit of tweeking and twisting with his injured toe. In next to no time, the pain is lifted. Mikey wiggles it a little, then a lot, then jumps up with a spring in his step, he twirls around)

APRIL:
Better?

MICHELANGELO:
Right as Rain

(he motions to scramble up the ladder, but politely makes way for April as she approaches it, he gives her a courtesy bow)

MICHELANGELO:
Miracles first.

APRIL:
Thankyou Mike…Micha…sorry, what’s your full name again?

MICHELANGELO:
Stick with Mike. Everybody else does.

APRIL:
Mike it is.

(she climbs the ladder, Mikey follows, as does Irma, who comments on the situation)

IRMA:
A Martian with a name that doesn’t sound like a deviant art account. Who says this ancient universe doesn’t adjust?

(they all move up the ladder except Leo, who is the last to do so)

LEONARDO:
They're making a big mistake.

Last edited by ZariusTwo; 10-29-2012 at 05:14 PM.
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Old 10-29-2012, 12:12 AM   #28
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I think Leo was a bit too harsh here, otherwise you are a fantastic script writer.
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Old 10-29-2012, 04:47 AM   #29
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I think Leo was a bit too harsh here.
There's a storyline reason why he's like that, all will become clear.
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Old 10-29-2012, 07:44 AM   #30
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Ooh, awesome job on this. Loved the stand off with Leo and Raph. You have a few mistakes though. There with us should be they're with us, ackward should be awkward, and there making a mistake should be they're making a mistake. Other than that, good job. I can't wait to read more.
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Old 10-29-2012, 05:10 PM   #31
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"There's only one P in rapist Lois"[/Perry White]

Thanks for keeping me informed of my errors Bubbly, will fix them up.

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Old 10-30-2012, 08:01 AM   #32
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No problem. Always happy to help out with that.
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:15 PM   #33
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A scene from much earlier in the film, in which we meet someone addressed in the script as "Bebop's Boss", but you all know what THAT means

Spoiler:

INT: WAREHOUSE

(Bebop walks into the dimly lit innards of the warehouse compound. A SNOOKER TABLE is situated in the Middle of the room, while a HUB OFSURVELANCE MONITORS can be seen stationed on the SECOND FLOOR. Bebop sees a few HEAVIES scattered around the room, some playing Snooker, one of them has a guitar strapped to him. Another is shining up what appears to be a RIFLE. Each of the men give Bebop cold and eagle-eyed stares. There is TREMENDOUS TENSION in the room.

On one of the many monitors, we see Bebop’s lackeys being led away by POLICE via a FIRST-PERSON WEBCAM PERSPECTIVE. Bebop looks up. Someone, a figure attired in a BROWN COAT, BLACK TROUSERS, his hair is SMOOTH, HALF-SHAVEN, LIKE A MILITARY CUT. He is wearing a HEAVY METALLIC FACEPLATE COVERING HIS FEATURES AND JAW-LIN. Attached to his right hand is a GAUNTLET, with TWO SHARP BLADES ATTACHED

The monitors show, still in first-person POV, one of the captured theives being FORCED up against the side of a POLICE CAR, the arresting officers begin to examine something on the back of his neck

The figure in the metal mask delicately moves a finger towards a button on the CENTRAL CONSOLE in front of him, and flicks a switch.

Bebop suddenly REACTS as an ELECTRIC SHOCK stuns him. The first-person POV on the monitors also indicates the captured theif being examined is also suffering from the same disorientation. Finally, the images on the monitors go completely blank.

Bebop reaches for the back of his neck and TEARS OFF a small METALLIC CIRCULAR OBJECT with an INFRA-RED LENS. It appears to be short-circuiting, producing tiny sparks. He tosses it on the floor.
The man in the metal mask, seemingly THE MASTER OF THE HOUSE, BEBOP‘S BOSS so to speak, rises from his seat)

BEBOP’S BOSS:
New York City is part of a land. A land of plenty. Rich in abundance with whatever you need to survive the harsh conditions of this unkind thing we call existence….why is it, that you return…with nothing?

BEBOP:
There was hardly anything worth taking from where you sent us.

BEBOP’S BOSS
A pity it was YOU that returned…you with so little detail…I am most disappointed in Shark, it was his assignment, he should have informed you of the true reason I sent you to that specific address.

BEBOP;
I told you, there was nothing. We found Trinkets. A watch, a photograph, some…

BEBOP’S BOSS:
Photograph?

BEBOP:
…Yeah. Some teenager. Probably the old broad’s son. But like I said, nothing valuable.

(This sets off the master, he MARCHES down the staircase. The assembled men quickly scatter. The figure steps into the delicate light area, Bebop takes a few steps back, which angers the figure more, he walks faster, Bebop, as if realizing his mistake, holds himself still, but it is not enough to save him from unimaginable pain and unendurable punishment. His master THRUSTS one of his RIGHT GAUNTLETS into Bebop’s shoulder. Bebop yells, he is clearly in great pain. His boss begins to pick up speed, RAMMING Bebop into the wall with his gauntlet still embedded in the shoulder area)

BEBOP’S BOSS:
You are deaf. Even to the voiceless. We are all children of someone. Some have great stature, some have made minimal impact. In the end, it is the connections that strengthen our bonds with reality, it is unification that provides us with motivation, to strive to be better than what we are without a past, without a link, and without…hope. A photograph is a vital, visual link to the past, it can affect the memories and aspirations of the present, and shape the future. The future, our most vital of treasures, a priceless piece of insight…

(he twists the gauntlet ever so slightly)

BEBOP’S BOSS:
…Something you…clearly…lack

(Slowly, his boss removes his gauntlet from Bebop’s wounded shoulder. Bebop slumps to the floor. The master turns to his underlings, and gives a simple order)

BEBOP’S BOSS:
Prepare him

(Two of the heavies at the snooker table leave their posistion and walk over to the row of grey canisters. Scooping up one of them, they move in on Bebop.

They drag him away towards another roo. Bebop, realizing his fate is sealed, cries out)



BEBOP:
I DIDN’T KNOW MAN! NOBODY TOLD ME! NOBODY TOLD ME!

(his boss addresses the remainder of the men)

BEBOP’S BOSS:
Send someone else over tomorrow. We need to have proper identification

(the heavy with the guitar speaks out)

GUITAR MAN:
Should we be as “direct” as last time?

BEBOP’S BOSS:
No. No, it hasn’t worked, we’ve lost two men. Progress softly

(he stares upwards at the monitors as they replay the entire fight between Shark, Bebop, their friend, and Michelangelo)

BEBOP’S BOSS:
And find out all you can about this…freak.

Last edited by ZariusTwo; 11-16-2012 at 05:31 AM.
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:21 PM   #34
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Wow, excellent scene! I actually feel really sorry for Bebop, can't wait to read some more.
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Old 11-03-2012, 08:03 AM   #35
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Awesome job on this. You have two mistakes: Collum should be column and the strive to be better should be to strive to be better. Other than that, good job. I feel sorry for Bebop as well. Sounds like they either killed him or tortured him. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
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Old 11-03-2012, 04:27 PM   #36
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Thanks Bubbly.

All I can say is...Bebop isnt being killed or tortured...it's something worse
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Old 11-04-2012, 01:42 AM   #37
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Something worse than torture or death? Yikes. Also great work as usual, please update sooner please.
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Old 11-05-2012, 08:48 AM   #38
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Something worse than torture or death? Yikes. Also great work as usual, please update sooner please.
Luckily there's enough in the script right now to cover more immediate updates, but if there is a longer gap, please try to understand it's due to my other commitments.

Anyway, back to samples, and I've got TWO of 'em.

Casey recieves a housecall while sinister forces make preperations...

Spoiler:
CUT TO:
INT: APRIL’S HOME

(Back at April’s house, Casey is lying down on the sofa staring at the ceiling. There is a SUDDEN KNOCK AT THE DOOR. Casey jumps up, alert, he swings his legs over the sofa, and ends up crashing them into the assorted heap of books and coffe mugs on the table. He looks at the mess briefly, before the knocks on the door repeat. He scrambles into the kitchen and grabs a sheet, darts back into the living room and drapes it over the mess on the floor. He combs his hair with his hands, using his own saliva to moisten it, and goes to open the door.

There, standing outside, is Gabrielle)

CASEY:
Hey…you’re here. You look…you look…

GABRIELLE:
Just be honest.

(Casey obliges)

CASEY:
…Pissed off.

GABRIELLE:
Cab driver didn’t know which street to comb, I ended up paying double the amount because he took so damn long. Was praying I started contractions just so he’d give me some kind of pity and spare me the pay-off.

CASEY:
Too bad you didn’t,. If he did, you could have named the kid “Mercy”

(Gabrielle doesn’t crack one grin)

CASEY:
“Mercy”…you know, nice, sound name…maybe put a French spin on it….

GABRIELLE:
Just let me in.

CASEY:
Oh sure, sure, right, by all means

(Gabrielle enters the house, she looks impressed by how well kept it is)

GABRIELLE:
Not a bad place.

(she spots the draped sheet on the floor of the living room)

GABRIELLE:
…Almost.

CASEY:
Decorators.

GABRIELLE:
Uh-huh.

CASEY:
…Would you like anything to drink?

GABRIELLE:
At this time of day?

CASEY:
…This isn’t like my pad Gabe, we DO have fruit juice.

GABRIELLE:
Alright. I’ll have that then

(she sits down on the sofa and spread herself out, taking deep breaths)

CASEY:
…You feeling ok?

GABRIELLE:
I’ve got your magic bean turning into a ****ing beanstalk, how do you THINK I feel?

CASEY:
Fair enough, fair enough

(he goes into the kitchen and looks through the fridge, he sees a half-empty bottle of orange and a purple concotion)

CASEY
Not much in here Gabby…we got some purple stuff

GABRIELLE:
Hit me with that. Never did like Sunny D.

CASEY:
Gotcha

(takes out the purple concoction and pours it into a glass)

GABRIELLE:
April’s blog being pulled made a few papers, so if you want to make the whole afternoon about how much grief you’re getting with her…

CASEY:
…Forget that. April can take care of her own problems.

GABRIELLE:
Oh. So it’s all about you again is it?

CASEY:
You’re a part of this too

GABRIELLE:
Yeah. Sad thing is it was by CHOICE.

CASEY:
I kinda got a scare recently. Made me reevaulate what I’m doing

GABRIELLE:
That skirmish you were involved in at the leisure centre’s car park finally snap your eyes open?

CASEY:
…How’d you know about that?

GABRIELLE:
C’mon Casey, your little attempt at playing Shia Lebuff was seen by every other zero you work with. I hang out in the places you keep April well away from remember?

CASEY:
Yeah, well…it wasn’t exactly that that woke me up

GABRIELLE:
So what was it?

CASEY;
Doesn’t matter. All I care about right now is making sure every interest is protected.

GABRIELLE:
…Nice to know you think I’m interesting.

CASEY:
I need a new job. I want you to help me look for one.

(Gabrielle laughs)

GABRIELLE:
Christ, you really are scared shitless.

(she looks at him, and sees the sincerity in Casey’s eyes, whatever he‘s trying to sell her, he means every word of it. Casey awkwardly scratches the back of his head)

CASEY:
What do you say Gabby?

GABRIELLE:
…Ok. Ok, if you really mean it, sure

(Casey hugs her)

CASEY:
You’re the best

GABRIELLE:
Then why do you always settle for the worst?

CASEY:
Oh behave yourself

(The two disengage from the hug and set themselves to work. As they scramble to clear up the mess on the floor, we ZOOM OUT of the living area’s main WINDOW and FOCUS on an EXTERIOR SHOT OF A BLACK VAN PARKED ON THE OTHER END OF THE ROAD. We CUT TO THE INTERIOR OF THE VAN)

INT: BLACK VAN
(Inside the van, a man, one of the men playing at the snooker table at Saki’s warehouse earlier, is seated at the driver’s seat, he looks over at April’s home, seated next to him is Rocksteady. Behind them, we can hear a faint HISS, and a GROWL, followed by HECTIC BANGING on the HEAVILY FORTIFIED BACK. Something is trying to get through)

ROCKSTEADY:
He’s restless in there. We need the order to go in soon before he attracts attention.

POOL MAN:
The order comes down tonight. Not before. Besides, O’Neil hasn’t turned up yet.

ROCKSTEADY:
Eliminating Jones would have a more permanent effect than giving O’Neil the luxuries of death.

MAN:
Is this eagerness to jump the gun for Bebop’s benefit or for yours?

(Rocksteady lights up a cigarette)

ROCKSTEADY:
Stick to your job and call it in Cue-Ball

(the man, identified by nickname as “Cue-Ball, takes out his cell phone and calls in to H.Q)

CUE-BALL:
Saki? Yeah…still no show from O’Neil. What’ll we do when we get to the allocated time?

(Cue-Ball hears and absorb unheard instructions. Rocksteady continues to smoke, looking at his reflection in the van’s mirror)

CUE-BALL:
…Ok. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, I think he’ll keep. Thanks. Cue-Ball out.

(Cue-Ball puts the phone down and addressses Rocksteady)

CUE-BALL:
Saki says if she doesn’t turn up, we’re to go in anyway. Happy now?

(Rocksteady breaths out a whisp of smoke)

ROCKSTEADY:
Oh I’m good now. I am most definatly good.




And a (breif) excerpt from April's first face-to-face meeting with Spinter, just after he concludes a flashback to the Turtles origins

Spoiler:
IRMA:
So…wait a minute, something doesn’t quite add up, and that’s saying a lot given this, ALL of this, doesn’t synch up with life in general…if you were always a rat before you “evolved“…how did your master teach you ANYTHING about Martial Arts? About the renaissance painters? Anything as complex and rich in history like that?

(Raph leans over and whispers to her)

RAPHAEL:
He doesn’t know

(Leonardo elbows Raph, having heard him)

LEONARDO:
Quiet.

SPLINTER:
The miracles provided by my master are well versed in secrecy, but locked deep within the complex matters of the mind, the solutions to those years of learning are beckoning. Constant meditation, constant preparation, has provided me many an insight into how my world functions, and what my master achieved…


APRIL:
You don’t have a clue do you?

SPLINTER:
…No.

Last edited by ZariusTwo; 11-16-2012 at 05:31 AM.
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Old 11-05-2012, 11:45 AM   #39
BubblyShell22
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Okay, this is great. I like where it's going. A few mistakes though. Besr should be best and worsr should be worst. Also, renascence should be Renaissance. Other than that, good job on this script. It's getting better and better each time. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
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Old 11-05-2012, 01:42 PM   #40
ryu238
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Uh, i think you broke the suspension of disbelief by questioning how Splinter learned the martial arts.
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