10-24-2012, 06:35 AM | #21 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
New sample. Leonardo finally gets quality time to spend with one of his brothers...unfortunatly, that brother uses it as a platform to talk about his favourite spy movie.
Spoiler:
__________________
TMNT Fan Script Discussion Thread "It Should Have Ended Here"...add your ideal ending to the Series Fauxnale wiki Add Your Story to the TMNT Fanfiction Wiki Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks Last edited by ZariusTwo; 10-24-2012 at 12:12 PM. |
10-24-2012, 07:56 AM | #22 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
|
Awesome interaction. You have two mistakes though: Breathes should be breaths and chelo should be cello. Other than that, good job. I really like where this is going.
__________________
"A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson. |
10-24-2012, 12:09 PM | #23 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
Thanks. For some reason my word document programme didnt pick up on the mispelling of Cello. Will fix the other mistake. Glad you're enjoying it. I'm getting the script done a lot faster due to encouragement and advise.
|
10-24-2012, 12:59 PM | #24 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
|
Ah, I see. Bad word document. Bad!
Yeah, I've been getting a lot of stories done myself. Can't wait to post more stuff. I definitely want to post my sequel to Hide and Seek on Friday for sure.
__________________
"A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson. |
10-24-2012, 01:09 PM | #25 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
Looking forward to it. I've also got another TMNT-related project in the works...and it's not the one I told you about over on FF.Net
|
10-25-2012, 07:51 AM | #26 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
|
Ah, I see. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it myself, but it depends on my mood. We're supposed to get rain tomorrow, so I don't know if I'll have a headache or not. That usually determines whether I post stuff or not.
__________________
"A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson. |
10-28-2012, 10:31 AM | #27 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
Another sample, this one actually takes place just a few minutes after the last one I posted, rightafter Mikey meets April and Irma (and in the process of "dropping in" on them, injures his toe, explaining why he's hopping about in this scene), Leonardo isnt far behind...leading to a tense moment
Spoiler:
__________________
TMNT Fan Script Discussion Thread "It Should Have Ended Here"...add your ideal ending to the Series Fauxnale wiki Add Your Story to the TMNT Fanfiction Wiki Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks Last edited by ZariusTwo; 10-29-2012 at 05:14 PM. |
10-29-2012, 12:12 AM | #28 |
Random Punk
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 31
|
I think Leo was a bit too harsh here, otherwise you are a fantastic script writer.
|
10-29-2012, 04:47 AM | #29 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
There's a storyline reason why he's like that, all will become clear.
|
10-29-2012, 07:44 AM | #30 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
|
Ooh, awesome job on this. Loved the stand off with Leo and Raph. You have a few mistakes though. There with us should be they're with us, ackward should be awkward, and there making a mistake should be they're making a mistake. Other than that, good job. I can't wait to read more.
__________________
"A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson. |
10-29-2012, 05:10 PM | #31 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
"There's only one P in rapist Lois"[/Perry White]
Thanks for keeping me informed of my errors Bubbly, will fix them up.
__________________
TMNT Fan Script Discussion Thread "It Should Have Ended Here"...add your ideal ending to the Series Fauxnale wiki Add Your Story to the TMNT Fanfiction Wiki Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks Last edited by ZariusTwo; 10-29-2012 at 05:16 PM. |
10-30-2012, 08:01 AM | #32 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
|
No problem. Always happy to help out with that.
__________________
"A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson. |
11-02-2012, 04:15 PM | #33 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
A scene from much earlier in the film, in which we meet someone addressed in the script as "Bebop's Boss", but you all know what THAT means
Spoiler:
__________________
TMNT Fan Script Discussion Thread "It Should Have Ended Here"...add your ideal ending to the Series Fauxnale wiki Add Your Story to the TMNT Fanfiction Wiki Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks Last edited by ZariusTwo; 11-16-2012 at 05:31 AM. |
11-02-2012, 04:21 PM | #34 |
Stone Warrior
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: 'hero' turtle land
Posts: 946
|
Wow, excellent scene! I actually feel really sorry for Bebop, can't wait to read some more.
|
11-03-2012, 08:03 AM | #35 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
|
Awesome job on this. You have two mistakes: Collum should be column and the strive to be better should be to strive to be better. Other than that, good job. I feel sorry for Bebop as well. Sounds like they either killed him or tortured him. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
__________________
"A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson. |
11-03-2012, 04:27 PM | #36 |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
Thanks Bubbly.
All I can say is...Bebop isnt being killed or tortured...it's something worse |
11-04-2012, 01:42 AM | #37 |
Random Punk
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 31
|
Something worse than torture or death? Yikes. Also great work as usual, please update sooner please.
|
11-05-2012, 08:48 AM | #38 | |
Overlord
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Britain, DINO THUNDER...POWER UP!
Posts: 20,843
|
Quote:
Anyway, back to samples, and I've got TWO of 'em. Casey recieves a housecall while sinister forces make preperations... Spoiler:
And a (breif) excerpt from April's first face-to-face meeting with Spinter, just after he concludes a flashback to the Turtles origins Spoiler:
__________________
TMNT Fan Script Discussion Thread "It Should Have Ended Here"...add your ideal ending to the Series Fauxnale wiki Add Your Story to the TMNT Fanfiction Wiki Spider-Man: The Rescue Spider-Man: The Galloping Cat Spider-Man: Scarlet Mirror Doctor Who: Child of the Daleks Last edited by ZariusTwo; 11-16-2012 at 05:31 AM. |
|
11-05-2012, 11:45 AM | #39 |
Leo-holic
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,912
|
Okay, this is great. I like where it's going. A few mistakes though. Besr should be best and worsr should be worst. Also, renascence should be Renaissance. Other than that, good job on this script. It's getting better and better each time. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
__________________
"A warrior who never fails, never learns."-The Ancient One. "Embrace your inner a**holiness."-Mr. Anderson. |
11-05-2012, 01:42 PM | #40 |
Random Punk
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 31
|
Uh, i think you broke the suspension of disbelief by questioning how Splinter learned the martial arts.
|
Tags |
fan fiction, we are shadows |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|