[Fanfic] TMNT Movie Script

[BubblyShell22]

Awesome samples. Found two mistakes on the second one. "These detectives of your have weapons?" should be "These detectives of yours have weapons?" Also, cival should be civil. Other than that, nice job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[ZariusTwo]

Thanks for the corrections Bubbly. "Civil" was actually picked up on the checker this time, but I was in a rush to post.

Short new sample

Spoiler:

(Bebop charges forth, Leonardo jumps high in the air, spins around, and kicks him in the head. Bebop falls backwards, turns around slightly, and is greeted by another fierce high knee, this time from Raph. He sways to the left, Donatello thrusts his bo staff into Bebop’s gut and then catches him beneath the chin with it, he then brings it down on Bebop’s head. Bebop throws an uppercut and tries catching Donatello with it, but Donatello ducks and then jabs Bebop straight in the right eye with the staff. Bebop, now partially blinded, runs in Mikey’s direction)

RAPHAEL;
Mikey, he’s heading your way

MICHELANGELO:
Alright big boy, come and get ‘chucked

(He twirls the nun-chucks around, grazing both sides of Bebop’s face with them, Bebop shakes off the attacks and smacks Michelangelo across the face, the force is so great it sends Michelangelo meters across the street, his hat flies off. He plants his feet on the concrete but can’t stop his momentum, and he tumbles backwards and slams himself hard on the back of Cue-Ball’s van.

Raph turns to Leo)

RAPHAEL:
I told you we should have got him a grapping hook.

[BubblyShell22]

Oooh, awesome sample. One mistake though: Have gave should be have given. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[ZariusTwo]

Changed it to "got" instead, but thanks

[BubblyShell22]

No problem. Always glad to help out.

[ZariusTwo]

New, short sample

Spoiler:

MICHELANGELO:
Uh-Oh

DONATELLO:
What is it?

MICHELANGELO;
Reality slap

DONATELLO:
…A reality slap?

MICHELANGELO:
I get these all the time, nothing to worry about

DONATELLO:
What are they?

MICHELANGELO:
They’re the part of my brain that lets me know just how dumb and unrealistic my ideas can be, and how they’d never work. Like I said, nothing to worry about. Everything’s cool.. This is totally going to work.

(he shakes his head the same way again)

DONATELLO:
What is it now?

MICHELANGELO:
I don’t usually get two reality slaps in a row

DONATELLO:
Oh brother.

[BubblyShell22]

Loved this little sample. Ah, Mikey, you gotta love him. Good job on this. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[ZariusTwo]

New sample. April proves she doesnt slither away

Spoiler:

APRIL:
Agent Bishop. Good to see you keeping up the neighbourhood watch

BISHOP:
Easy to keep watch when there’s been a circus in town…too bad this one let loose it’s elephants, and I don’t like Clowns, so none of this is funny to me

APRIL:
It’s a shame my site was pulled, I’d be covering one hell of a story…unknown element tears through helpless neighbourhood, cops and firemen nowhere in sight, doesn’t make for a very accommodating headline on their end does it? Or yours for that matter now you’ve gotten yourself involved

BISHOP:
You needn’t worry about us, so long as you keep to our little pact, and so long as you disappear

APRIL:
Excuse me?

BISHOP:
You think I haven’t been connecting the dots? This ruckus happens in your neck of the woods so soon after we pull your scoop of the century? You’ve attracted quite a clan, including a clan we’ve been eyeing up for quite some time.

APRIL:
This clan have a name?

BISHOP:
Not your concern. You’re going to prioritise yourself with picking the best places off island to settle down on, we’ll handle the remainder of the arrangements, all you and your man-child have to be is quiet and complacent. No small task but I think you’ll pull it off now you’ve gotten a scare as big as this.

APRIL:
So…just like that, you’ll settle me somewhere off the grid, call me “Robin” and let me fly away with some kind tag on my leg? Leave you with some kind of hold over me?

BISHOP:
Leaning towards that being the plan, yes.

APRIL:
Forget it.

BISHOP:
Christ, they told me you were a pessimist when it came to authority types, but I didn’t think you’d prefer a death wish over the opportunities we can provide

APRIL:
I’m a New Yorker. This city is my blood. My family clawed their way up from nothing and built the world I lived in all my life. Something took that from me, and you want me to slither away while the real rattlesnakes coil around my home?

BISHOP:
I can’t guarantee your safety

APRIL:
You haven’t made many guarantees I’m comfortable with to start with.

BISHOP:
So this is what you want? No help, no home, no occupation?

APRIL:
Always could land on my feet.

BISHOP:
Be careful whose sandbox you’re playing in Kitten.

APRIL;
I’ll be careful

(Bishop turns to leave. As he does, he bumps into Casey)

BISHOP:
You. Stay out of trouble.

(Casey points to himself and silently says “Me?” and shakes his head, he motions a “hand on heart” action. Bishop says nothing and walks away)

[BubblyShell22]

I love April's toughness and how she won't back down. Saw one mistake. Settled down should be settle down. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[ZariusTwo]

Thanks Bubbly. It's fixed.

Page count now stands at 142

[ZariusTwo]

New sample

Spoiler:

SPLINTER:
How do you see the day?

APRIL:
Every moment I wake to every hour I sleep, I’m energized, almost like I’m ready for anything, I know what I want, and that’s revenge

SPLINTER:
Vengeance ages the youth in the heart, and embitters the grace in your spirit

APRIL:
Yeah, well the moment your home comes crashing down before your eyes, be sure those words are on the menu served with plenty of crow

(Splinter points to his head)

SPLINTER:
Home is here. It will be downed only by death

APRIL:
You don’t believe in some kind of afterlife? A better place?

SPLINTER:
Afterlife is an afterthought, best reserved when you understand all that there is about life, but life is an eternal question, forever changing even when you leave it behind.

(April smiles faintly, she doesn’t quite buy into what Splinter means, but she has come to an understanding of his ways and is at peace with his words)

APRIL:
I just…don’t get how you and the others can be so at peace with the world when so much pain has passed before your eyes. Don’t you want to show yourselves? Shout at the world and make them realize how special you are?

SPLINTER:
We are sons of a silent age. A part of history not yet ready to imprint itself on the official version.

APRIL:
What will it take for you to step away from the shadows?

SPLINTER:
Nature is delicate, ever testing itself, tempered by a division of beauty and chaos. For there to be a beginning, there must be a blend

APRIL:
That’s a tall order

SPLINTER:
Everything comes to order. In time.

[ZariusTwo]

New short sample. Irma subjects the Turtles to a rant about an ex-boyfriend

Spoiler:

IRMA:
…And I threw my shoes away and told him “No, these are not made for walking”, he said they were better “made for running”, which was the last straw for me, nobody tells me to walk out of a date. He said something about participating in a marathon the following day, but I couldn’t get past the insult…or was it an insult? Did I make a mistake? Oh shoot I probably did, but anyhow, that’s how I cope with rejection, which came in handy when the next suitor came along...

SPLINTER:
…You are truly an unrestrained spirit Mss Langenstien, perhaps your testimony would best be spent in periods of more peaceful re-examination

IRMA:
That sounds like really solid advice. Wish I had a solid understanding of it

RAPHAEL:
He’s telling you to shut up lady

IRMA:
Are you mister?

SPLINTER:
How one interprets the word of the wise is how the many conclusions are drawn

DONATELLO:
Leave her alone Raph

IRMA:
Thanks, can I continue?

DONATELLO:
No.

[Blossombrooks]

You do a good script. I still really like the way you write Irma's humour. I hope you don't mind me pointing it out but is there a word missing in the first sentence? 'he said they better' sounds like it might need 'were' in there, just trying to help.

[ZariusTwo]

Originally Posted by Blossombrooks

You do a good script. I still really like the way you write Irma's humour. I hope you don't mind me pointing it out but is there a word missing in the first sentence? 'he said they better' sounds like it might need 'were' in there, just trying to help.

Yeah, thanks mate, that was sort of intentional as I thought it would sound better in my head as "he said they better made for running", but it probably makes more sense to include "were". I'll add it in. Thanks for the encouraging words.

[Blossombrooks]

You're welcome, no worries.

[ZariusTwo]

New sample

Spoiler:

APRIL:
Hey, It’s me. Wanna give us a hand?

LEONARDO:
You led ANOTHER person down here?

RAPHAEL:
Don’t worry, he only hits proper girls. Fear for your boyfriend.

CASEY:
That thing’s insulting me again isn’t it? The one in red.

RAPHAEL:
Times like this I wish we all wore red. Just to mess with him.

LEONARDO:
What’s this about April?

(April climbs up the ladder and joins them, Casey remains below, unable to climb up due to the amount of luggage obstructing his vision)

APRIL:
…We’re moving in.

LEONARDO:
Excuse me?

MICHELANGELO:
Alright.

RAPHAEL:
Please don’t tell me the boyfriend is part of the deal.

DONATELLO:
This is insane

IRMA:
I’ll say. What’s stopping you moving in with me?

APRIL:
Can’t risk it. Whoever wants me on a platter could track us down and strike where you are too. This is the only place on short notice I can think of

(Casey yells)

CASEY:
A little help down here?

(Aprils yells back)

APRIL:
In a second honey.

LEONARDO:
We must consult Master Splinter on this

RAPHAEL:
Oh that’s a change. Not feeling up to threatening a girl this time schoolboy?

DONATELLO:
I don’t want to pick sides here, but…we barely know these people, why should we entertain ourselves with their company?

APRIL:
You guys put your trust in me and let me into your world, you risked your neck to protect me three times. I owe you.

DONATELLO:
I’m still not sure…

APRIL:
I’ll pay you rent

DONATELLO:
I’m sold. They stay.

MICHELANGELO:
First things first, let’s make you comfortable. I’ll be your personal tour guide to the sights, the sounds, the smells…well, ok scratch the smells…although I don’t think you could avoid that if your life depended on it, just know that I’m the right one to call if the weight of the world is too great for one person…

CASEY:
A little help?

MICHELANGELO:
Raph, Don, help the man

(Raphael and Donatello stare at each other, shrug, and descend the ladder to help Casey out)

[BubblyShell22]

Awesome job on these. I really like Splinter's words of wisdom as well as Irma's humor. Nicely done on these, Zarius. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.

[ZariusTwo]

Thanks Bubbly.

While I've finished up the latest action scene, I'm now at a portion of the story where it's altogether much mellower. In many ways this will contain all the stuff I've been wanting to write since the project began and I've been more excited to do this stuff than the action beats. Samples may be shorter going forward so as to avoid spoilers.

[ZariusTwo]

New sample

Spoiler:

APRIL:
You guys ever get lonely down here?

MICHELANGELO:
US? Lone Rangers? You tonto?

(April laughs, and playfully hits Mike on the shoulder)

APRIL:
I’m serious. Four guys. Male. Teenagers. You ever…think about, the heavy stuff y’know?

MICHELANGELO:
You sure you don’t want to trade Turtles on this ? Raph can tell you stories, but Leo is a crack at the deep stuff

APRIL:
Yeah but I’m putting you on the spot here. C’mon. Surprise me. You’ve done a good job so far

MICHELANGELO:
I have?

APRIL:
I’m a good observer. You dance while everyone else sits still. You’re wrapped up in wise cracks, you read the funny pages in newspapers, you’re willing to risk yourself out in public to make children happy. You’re very worldly Mike, I think you’re the best qualified to talk a little about how you guys view yourselves going forward on this planet.

(Michelangelo scratches his head, not sure how to take in this complimentary analysis of his characteristics. April smiles, and takes another bite of Pizza)

APRIL:
So shoot. What is it you want out of life?

MICHELANGELO:
I guess….um…wow…I-well, the easy things ought to come first. Recognition obviously, this is a mug that belongs on a cereal box. It’d be great to have a fan club, I could give guided tours of the old homestead, stay in and watch a few movies, entertain the kids, and then…

APRIL:
..Then?

MICHELANGELO:
…Ah it’s silly. Impossible.

APRIL:
You guys are walking impossibilities. Give your dreams a chance.

(There is a pause, Michelangelo stares into the distance, smiles, and turns back to April)

MICHELANGELO:
…I want to settle down, not just have an odd, fun little fling, I want a real relationship. With someone who doesn’t judge you on colour or appearance, who’ll accept you for what you are. Like I said…impossible. Who’d have the nerve to stick their neck out for me forever?

APRIL:
We live in very taboo times Mike. We indulge in things that the eyes of regular society find questionable. Degrading. Blasphemous if you’re religious. But the people they look down on…the people they reject…for better or for worse, don’t care what anyone thinks, they stay true to themselves.

(she places her hand on his shoulder)

APRIL:
Your desires? The fact you want to be loved, and loved long-term? That’s the most normal thing anyone can ever think, and if someone lucky enough to know you wants to give you what you deserve, they should take their cues from the misfits that exist on the fringes of this change-fearing world and go with their gut, because you’ve earned thier trust, respect, and more

MICHELANGELO:
That’s deep. Really deep.

APRIL:
Never swim in the shallow end Mike.

[BubblyShell22]

Wow. A very awesome insight on how April views the guys and what they should do. I liked this little exchange between April and Mikey. Nicely done on this. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.