Is it wrong to hold open the door for women in 2019?

[Andrew NDB]

[IMJ]

I hold the door for people all the time. It's part of my DNA at this point. I can't stop. But I also don't dwell on it. I go through a door and I look behind me as a function of motor memory at this point to see if I'm shutting a door on someone's face, and I hold it for people. For me that's S.O.P. I'll also make a direct effort to hold doors for people that could use the help - old people, people with strollers, stuff like that.

There are bigger societal norm problems than this. Like how people don't follow the assumed, invisible walking lanes anymore. You'll be out and about and people walk at angles practically right into you every time. I hate that so much that I think one day I might truly go apeshit on someone about it. Or how no one makes a real left turn anymore. Everyone makes this angled turn when doing a left in complete disregard of how close they are going to skim past the first car in the lane they are making the left past. Left turns are designed to be made at a nearly 90 degree angle, but everyone takes them as if they are saving "life time" by cutting the corner.

I think these things are all more important societal norms and courtesies, but here you have somebody accusing people of self-serving intent for holding a door. Here's what I've learned from a myriad of experiences in life - very often we now have people making accusations about the motivation of others. But what you are actually seeing is a reflection of how the person making the accusation operates themselves. Their accusation is actually their S.O.P. otherwise they wouldn't default to this nonsense as being everybody else's operating procedure. And then they hide behind "victim shaming" if you point this out.

[FredWolfLeonardo]

These people are never happy.

[Sumac]

Just another salty woman seeking attention.

How long until they will insist that men should wear blindfolds in their presence?

[IMJ]

Originally Posted by FredWolfLeonardo

These people are never happy.

I can't help but look at the deeper psychology. Saying that they are never happy is a reasonable assumption. If you believe them. But I don't believe any of those people anymore.

They don't function on altruism. It's a lie. And so the point is that they actually probably are happy - doing the kinds of things they are doing in the tweet example above.

Their lies, false assessments, and creation of social injustice to fight against makes them happy. And they do it so much than when a true, unfortunate instance of social injustice does happen they are happy because they can say "See! See!"

[Leo656]

I hold the door for everyone because it's polite and it's how I was raised. Sometimes someone will say "Thanks, I got it" and we leave it at that, but my default setting is to at least OFFER to help someone out, and they can take it or leave it. If they give me attitude I'll just mumble "Well, f*ck you TOO then" once they're out of earshot.

If that is a real post then that chick's got a very high opinion of herself. Going by her picture, "that ass" probably looks like two midgets in a sack wrestling over a ham, so... don't flatter yourself, baby.

[TigerClaw]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

https://i.ibb.co/ZYfrYcP/door.jpg

Sounds like one of them Millennials.

[IndigoErth]

People need to get over themselves, either side of the issue. I don't care if someone does, but it's just not anything important and uncommon these days anyhow, so meh. Mostly it's just thoughtful to hold it if someone has their arms full or are elderly, gender aside.

I mean I held it for my brother-in-law who was carrying my dead car battery into the store. Did I woman wrong? I bet you there is a minority of equally petty guys out there who'd be mad about the door issue in reverse, like holding it for him was "emasculating." lol I want to find them and get them and these girls together and instruct them to enter a building together, but one has to hold it for the other. They'd be out there all day.

End of the day though, the only genuinely rude thing is those who disregard others and let it shut in someone's face...

[Voltron]

More pearl clutching! Who the hell cares if someone gets mad that you opened the door?

[IMJ]

Originally Posted by Voltron

Who the hell cares if someone gets mad that you opened the door?

The guy in the unfortunate position of holding said door and then on the receiving end of someone with the frame of mind as the tweeter would care.

Therefore, anyone who might go out into the world as a normal person and have to deal with this situation in real life would care. Even at a ratio of 1 negative instance to holding a door 100 times.

[Storm Eagle]

Originally Posted by Andrew NDB

https://i.ibb.co/ZYfrYcP/door.jpg

You know, I've always wondered why some of them don't say "thank you" when I hold the door for them. Well I say screw them with a revving chainsaw.

[IMJ]

Originally Posted by Storm Eagle

You know, I've always wondered why some of them don't say "thank you" when I hold the door for them. Well I say screw them with a revving chainsaw.

Remind me never to go through a door held by a guy with a revving chainsaw.....

[AquaParade]

I sort of feel like it's not really an opinion worth discussing. Yet I am here.

[Voltron]

Originally Posted by IMJ

The guy in the unfortunate position of holding said door and then on the receiving end of someone with the frame of mind as the tweeter would care.

Therefore, anyone who might go out into the world as a normal person and have to deal with this situation in real life would care. Even at a ratio of 1 negative instance to holding a door 100 times.

So... A loser? Who the hell has this much time? Do you watch Twitter that closely? I'd tell you to gout side more often, but I'd hate for you to offend a woman with your chivalry.

I can't wait until someone psycho bitches about urinals, and I have to come in here and read thread and see a bunch of grown ass men crying about how they might have to sit to go pee because someone on Twitter hurt their feelings.

No wonder God doesn't talk to us anymore.

[IMJ]

Originally Posted by Voltron

So... A loser? Who the hell has this much time? Do you watch Twitter that closely? I'd tell you to gout side more often, but I'd hate for you to offend a woman with your chivalry.

I can't wait until someone psycho bitches about urinals, and I have to come in here and read thread and see a bunch of grown ass men crying about how they might have to sit to go pee because someone on Twitter hurt their feelings.

No wonder God doesn't talk to us anymore.

Now on one hand, I at least like that I can sense you don't like this societal nonsense anymore than other reasonable people. That's good. That's good.

But you spend a lot of words regularly freaking out like this, flinging high-context insults, or otherwise inappropriately terse replies during your meltdowns. You see, resorting to "grown-ass men crying" comments? That's actually a meltdown because you aren't handling the information. Do you understand? Something else that melts down the way you do all the time is a snowflake. Understand?

I am beginning to sense that you've read that word somewhere else and then probably tried it out on a few people during a meltdown. When it didn't work you moved to "babies" and "crying" and your current lexicon. But see, all of that actually makes you the snowflake.

But it's okay, brother. Just quit being a snowflake and begin having the conversation. We are all frustrated with the world's craziness as exemplified by the tweet above. And to your question, no I don't even have a Twitter account. I'm just having the convo with the cool people here who also chose to have the convo.

If it's any consolation to your impending "moderator rage" though, I will say that I did at least laugh out loud at the "hate for you to offend a woman with your chivalry". I don't know if you meant it like a punk or like a man making a joke, but it was damn funny brother

[Prowler]

Where I'm from, everyone holds the door for the person behind them. Or at least should do it. Regardless of gender. Do you want to let go of a heavy door and let it injure the person behind, especially if that person is carrying a baby or is an old scrawny person wearing a cane? Of course you don't want that to happen.

Some people don't say thank you, though. Which is kinda rude, but whatever. I'm not gonna stop holding the door for the person behind me, just like I wouldn't want the door to slam in my face and break my nose.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Where I come from, it's called common courtesy. Male or female, young, old, handicapped, or hands full, it's just polite to hold doors open for the person(s) with or behind you. And contrary to the tweeter, no, it's NOT all about wanting to see some ass. That is just some self-centered bs.

[IndigoErth]

Holding it to check out someone's backside is so odd. That would have never crossed my mind. That's either arrogant and thinking everyone wants to check you out), self conscious/paranoid thinking that people do... or what the heck kind of ghetto area does she live in that that is actually a common reason, because if true that sucks.

[Leo656]

To be fair and perfectly honest, if a girl is hot I'm definitely going to check out her ass at every available opportunity. BUT, that's not why I would hold a door for them. I hold the door to be polite, if I get to see something nice that's just a bonus. I also try and be as polite as possible with my ogling so as not to make anybody uncomfortable.

[AquaParade]

If you wear tight pants that suck up to your ass, you are asking for it to be oogled. Expect people to be reasonable and controlled but also expect them to give give into biological urges.

Whether or not is is creepy usually comes down to how attractive you, the viewer, are.