How were you punished as a kid?

[Original TMNT Cartoon Fan]

Originally Posted by Cure

Only you know, it wasn't. I was a piece of **** who deserved it.

Still child abuse.

[Cure]

Haha, nah.

[Refractive Reflections]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

I really can't believe there are schools in the U.S. that allow teachers to physically hit the kids. If that happened up here in New York the teachers would immediately be fired and face possible fines or jail time. I'm glad I live in a democratic state of free thinkers.

Any form of abuse to young children in schools should in no way be tolerated. Even when I was a kid in the 90's I thought this law was around.

Here's a dilemma for you CyberCubed, and anyone else if they want to answer. What happens if you have a 5-10 year old kid, who doesn't want to be disciplined with "time-outs"? Who still throws tantrums after taking away their privileges, starts using profanity on their own parents, spitting on others, vandalizes their parents' home. ...And still continues to hit others when he/she doesn't get their way, making a big scene shouting and making tantrums, knowing that their parents' don't want to create a big scene in public? How would you handle the situation CyberCubed?

[FredWolfLeonardo]

Originally Posted by Refractive Reflections

Here's a dilemma for you CyberCubed, and anyone else if they want to answer. What happens if you have a 5-10 year old kid, who doesn't want to be disciplined with "time-outs"? Who still throws tantrums after taking away their privileges, starts using profanity on their own parents, spitting on others, vandalizes their parents' home. ...And still continues to hit others when he/she doesn't get their way, making a big scene shouting and making tantrums, knowing that their parents' don't want to create a big scene in public? How would you handle the situation CyberCubed?

What a spoilt and bratty hypothetical child.

Honour thy Mother and thy Father people.

[Spike Spiegel]

Originally Posted by FredWolfLeonardo

Honour thy Mother and thy Father people.

That's hard to do when a parent is an alcoholic, has a personality disorder, or suffers from some other serious psychological issue. And it's all too easy for even well-behaved kids to become victims.

Also, if a kid curses at people, vandalizes property, spits on people, and acts badly, they had to have learned that behavior somewhere. That sort of thing doesn't develop in a vacuum.

[TurtleWA]

Originally Posted by Refractive Reflections

Here's a dilemma for you CyberCubed, and anyone else if they want to answer. What happens if you have a 5-10 year old kid, who doesn't want to be disciplined with "time-outs"? Who still throws tantrums after taking away their privileges, starts using profanity on their own parents, spitting on others, vandalizes their parents' home. ...And still continues to hit others when he/she doesn't get their way, making a big scene shouting and making tantrums, knowing that their parents' don't want to create a big scene in public? How would you handle the situation CyberCubed?

Easy answer. Go to Dr. Phil.

[IndigoErth]

Unless he/she has genetically severe mental/emotional issues, that kid most certainly has parents who should be ashamed at their clear failures; either terrible parenting or an utter lack of it. Whole family should probably at least start with counseling...

And if they still refuse to straighten up, well... reform schools and others for problem kids are a thing for a reason. *stifles evil grin*

[Katie]

I agree. If a kid acts out that badly and there is no illness involved, it is a clear failure in parenting where the kid has learned he will get his way if he causes a big enough scene.

My mother would have dragged me out of the public space and I would have gotten hell from both parents at home. Terrible behavior should never be rewarded just to shut the kid up. If he gets what he wants by screaming and causing a scene, guess what? Junior learned a new skill.

ETA: “doesn’t want to be disciplined with ‘time outs’...”. WTF? What kid gets any say in the punishment? This puts too much power and control in the kids hands. I don’t care how you want to be punished. If you act out, there is a punishment. Period. Of my choosing.

[FredWolfLeonardo]

I believe parents have a right to be treated with respect and honoured even if they're the most cruel and painful people you can imagine.

They have that right simply by being parents. Even expressing annoyance at them is absolutely forbidden in my moral values.

[CyberCubed]

Katie, you don't have any kids, do you? Would you repeat the things your mother did with you if you did?

[TurtleWA]

Originally Posted by FredWolfLeonardo

I believe parents have a right to be treated with respect and honoured even if they're the most cruel and painful people you can imagine.

How are you defining honor and respect?

[FredWolfLeonardo]

Originally Posted by TurtleWA

How are you defining honor and respect?

Talk to them with decency and don't go out of your way to belittle them.

If they are doing something wrong, lovingly explain their error to them without the slightest hint of annoyance and sarcasm in your voice.

If they ask you to do something thats not immoral, do it without questioning them.

Respect their wishes and financially support them.

If they wish to be left alone, do not disturb them but go out of your way to make sure they are doing well and let them know you'll always be there in case they need you.

[plastroncafe]

Yeah, I never did truck with that Keep Sweet stuff.

I will always love my mother and father, but that doesn't mean I'm going to set myself on fire to keep them warm.

I do feel the need to add that for much of my growing-up years my mom had a sign hanging in the family kitchen:
Be nice to your children, they pick your nursing home.

[TurtleWA]

Originally Posted by FredWolfLeonardo

If they ask you to do something thats not immoral, do it without questioning them.

I'm glad this is part of the definition. Because when you said "the most cruel and painful people you can imagine." Well I have a very good imagination. Let's just leave it at that.

[Katie]

Originally Posted by CyberCubed

Katie, you don't have any kids, do you? Would you repeat the things your mother did with you if you did?

I raised a child for the past six years. Not my biological child, but I raised him. And yes, I would absolutely have marched his a$$ out of a public space if he acted out like that.

He’s a good kid though and that’s because before his mom died she raised him well and punished as necessary. And from what I understand we have similar styles in that regard.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

Yeah, I never did truck with that Keep Sweet stuff.

I will always love my mother and father, but that doesn't mean I'm going to set myself on fire to keep them warm.

I do feel the need to add that for much of my growing-up years my mom had a sign hanging in the family kitchen:
Be nice to your children, they pick your nursing home.

Exactly. I love my mom to pieces. My dad- not so much. If the time ever comes to pick his nursing home, let's just say he'd spend his days alone. Because I would not be coming to visit.

Originally Posted by FredWolfLeonardo

I believe parents have a right to be treated with respect and honoured even if they're the most cruel and painful people you can imagine.

They have that right simply by being parents. Even expressing annoyance at them is absolutely forbidden in my moral values.

I have to disagree. Just being "parents" does not automatically entitle them to be treated with respect if they are abusive or neglectful. Respect must be EARNED, even by a parent. Why should a child have to respect someone who does not treat them as a human being SHOULD be treated? This has always been one of my biggest gripes with so-called "Christian values". They are often full of hypocrisy and double standards. A parent who abuses their kids does NOT get to claim parenthood as a mantle of respect. They did not EARN it.

[Glitter Wand]

I have to disagree. Just being "parents" does not automatically entitle them to be treated with respect if they are abusive or neglectful. Respect must be EARNED, even by a parent. Why should a child have to respect someone who does not treat them as a human being SHOULD be treated? This has always been one of my biggest gripes with so-called "Christian values". They are often full of hypocrisy and double standards. A parent who abuses their kids does NOT get to claim parenthood as a mantle of respect. They did not EARN it.

I completely agree with you. Respect is earned, not forced via physical discipline or insults. At the same time, I don't think it is right to disrespect someone right back if they are disrespecting you. That just makes no progress.
One thing that really irritates me is that, just because someone is a parent, they have the right to "Smack" his/her child or deny them food to teach them right from wrong. I believe children can be taught with words. Consistency really is key, and that applies to just about anything. I mean, if you were making a batch of muffins, and they got burned, you'd start over again until they came out perfectly. Sure, it may take a while, but it'd be worth it in the end. The same rule applies to raising children. Parents should treat them with the same amount of respect as they want to be treated. Children are people, after all.
I apologize if this sounds preachy. I'm just stating my opinion.

[FredWolfLeonardo]

Originally Posted by MsMarvelDuckie

I have to disagree. Just being "parents" does not automatically entitle them to be treated with respect if they are abusive or neglectful. Respect must be EARNED, even by a parent. Why should a child have to respect someone who does not treat them as a human being SHOULD be treated? This has always been one of my biggest gripes with so-called "Christian values". They are often full of hypocrisy and double standards. A parent who abuses their kids does NOT get to claim parenthood as a mantle of respect. They did not EARN it.

Well regardless of how good or bad a parent is, they are still in the end a parent who provide half of a child's DNA. I'm not endorsing abuse but I do believe a certain degree of respect is owed to someone who did play a role in giving birth to you, or is your guardian if we are talking about adoptive parents. Just my two cents.

[plastroncafe]

Abusive people are not worthy of respect, regardless of how much DNA they contribute.

[FredWolfLeonardo]

Originally Posted by plastroncafe

Abusive people are not worthy of respect, regardless of how much DNA they contribute.

Agree to Disagree there. It all comes down to our worldviews regarding what is inherently valuable and meaningful.

Do I believe abuse is wrong? Yes, but I think there are certain degrees of respect everyone deserves regardless of what they have done, by virtue of who or what they are. And parents by that definition are always worthy of respectful treatment by their children in my book.