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Old 04-10-2018, 12:02 PM   #1
Andrew NDB
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Jason Statham in "The Meg"



Jason Statham vs. a PG-13 megalodon. I can't wait to see a movie about a giant shark eating a lot of people that... can't actually show any of that. Pass!
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:05 PM   #2
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It's actually based on a novel.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:18 PM   #3
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I'm a little bit ashamed of how much I want to see this. Sharks scare the sh!t out of me but I love cheesy shark movies.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:32 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Andrew NDB View Post
Jason Statham vs. a PG-13 megalodon. I can't wait to see a movie about a giant shark eating a lot of people that... can't actually show any of that. Pass!
Why can't it?

A Meg would be so big, it wouldn't really be tearing chunks up... just swallowing whole. No blood'n'guts, no problem for a PG13 rating.

Right?
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:40 PM   #5
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Because when I see a Statham movie what I expect is 100% realism.
....said no sane person ever.
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:05 PM   #6
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Why can't it?

A Meg would be so big, it wouldn't really be tearing chunks up... just swallowing whole. No blood'n'guts, no problem for a PG13 rating.

Right?
Right. But in a world where we have tons of gratuitous stuff like the "Sharknado" movies on TV with tons of blood and gore... what exactly is the purpose in a PG-13 shark movie that can't even show a drop of blood?

Last edited by Andrew NDB; 04-10-2018 at 01:11 PM.
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:35 PM   #7
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Right. But in a world where we have tons of gratuitous stuff like the "Sharknado" movies on TV with tons of blood and gore... what exactly is the purpose in a PG-13 shark movie that can't even show a drop of blood?
I'm assuming it's just the spectacle of "giant shark."

Which MAY have some blood and gore... squid blood and gore, maybe. Which probably doesn't register for the ratings systems.

But yeah, the amount of thought that went into this is summed up by four words:

"GIANT SHARK" and "JASON STATHAM."
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:36 PM   #8
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Right. But in a world where we have tons of gratuitous stuff like the "Sharknado" movies on TV with tons of blood and gore... what exactly is the purpose in a PG-13 shark movie that can't even show a drop of blood?
Why put that much stock in blood and viscera? It's not what makes any piece of entertainment well... entertaining. At least not the crux. And I say that not only as someone who loves Fatalities in Mortal Kombat, but had rotten.com and bestgore as home pages and once spent 7 hours on r/watchpeopledie
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:37 PM   #9
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Which MAY have some blood and gore... squid blood and gore, maybe. Which probably doesn't register for the ratings systems.
Yeah, it can have all the shark and squid gore they want to put in there by the same way the PG-13 AVP has Predator blood and Alien gore. But who cares about that?

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Why put that much stock in blood and viscera? It's not what makes any piece of entertainment well... entertaining. At least not the crux.
I'm just saying... you make a big, dumb "giant shark killing people" movie and put Jason Statham in it, you're going to need to at least go full-on bloody or don't come to the table at all. It's not quite apples to apples with something like, say, "Rampage," with the Rock. That's just some monsters running roughshod on buildings and each other.
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Old 04-10-2018, 01:55 PM   #10
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I'm with Patton Oswalt on this:

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Jason Statham has never been in a great movie.

He's also never been in a boring one.

Statham's imdb.com profile, collectively, is a promise to you, the weary filmgoer. It's a promise that says, "I promise that you will not FOR ONE SECOND be bored during one of my movies. You won't learn **** about the human condition, or feel a collective connection with the brotherhood of man. But if you give me $10, I will **** an explosion while a Slayer song plays".
GAY-THAM FOR STATHAM
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Old 04-10-2018, 02:00 PM   #11
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I was going to contest that but looking at his IMDB credits... no, no boring movies on there. Maybe "Spy."
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Old 04-10-2018, 03:01 PM   #12
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Adding Bobby Darin to the soundtrack was a stroke of genius. If it had a typical "epic" score it would have been cringy. "Under The Sea" lets you know it's not taking itself too seriously.
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Old 04-10-2018, 03:52 PM   #13
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Adding Bobby Darin to the soundtrack was a stroke of genius. If it had a typical "epic" score it would have been cringy. "Under The Sea" lets you know it's not taking itself too seriously.
Yeah, I think that musical choice was what sold me
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Old 04-10-2018, 06:12 PM   #14
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Spy wasn't boring but it sure was infuriating.
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Old 04-10-2018, 10:48 PM   #15
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Adding Bobby Darin to the soundtrack
It's probably just for the trailer, man.
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Old 04-11-2018, 07:42 AM   #16
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Spy wasn't boring but it sure was infuriating.
I found spy really uneven.
They were parts of it that I thought were really very funny, and other parts that just really didn't work for me at all.

The one part that consistently work for me, was Jason Statham.
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:33 PM   #17
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I was going to contest that but looking at his IMDB credits... no, no boring movies on there. Maybe "Spy."
The Mechanic was pretty dull. So was Death Race.

I don't know why, but I really want to see this dumb-ass giant shark movie. I'll probably have to see it alone though - I don't think I will be able to convince anyone I know into going with me.
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Old 04-11-2018, 11:19 PM   #18
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The Mechanic was pretty dull. So was Death Race.
Can't speak to those as I haven't seen. I mean, they don't look boring. Also didn't see the one with him and J Lo.
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Old 04-12-2018, 09:55 AM   #19
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Looks way too cartoonish, so I'll wait until I can watch it at home.
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Old 04-12-2018, 10:02 AM   #20
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I'll just watch Deep Blue Sea again. Come to think of it, part 2 is coming out soon.

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