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Old 06-22-2014, 04:46 AM   #41
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I'm way too self-absorbed to have kids, I've got no qualms admitting it. Besides, I helped raise my kid sister (there's a ten year age gap between us) so the way I look at it, I've already done my share of semi-parenting. She turned out to be an exemplary human being, so it's best that I don't tempt fate any further. I'm better off just being a mama to lots and lots of cats now.
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Old 06-22-2014, 05:00 AM   #42
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Thirty schmirty. You'll look back at 30 and smile in time. Now 40 on the other hand... where I'll be next month. Not married, no kids (that I know of... usually guaranteed a chuckle using that when asked), good job, good current relationship with the usual hiccups. So I'm as happy as one could expect.

Actually, when I was a lot younger, I was far more serious. The frivolous side of me has come out as I've gotten older. Maybe it's some sort of reverse Dorian Grey with my maturity?
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Old 06-22-2014, 05:05 AM   #43
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I'll never understand why some people feel pressure to have kids at all, regardless of when. Kids are a needless complication, and there's already plenty of 'em, they don't need anyone popping out more. Planet's full, people. Get a puppy, it costs a lot less and leaves a much smaller carbon footprint. Not to mention it'll never grow up to become a stripper, or waste all the money you worked your whole life for on a liberal arts degree, or put you in a crooked nursing home like the one on 60 Minutes.

I could never be half as self-centered, narcissistic, womanizing OR obnoxious if I had kids to worry about, and by that point, I think I'd just as soon not even show up. I don't need that hassle. I can get drunk at 11am if I feel like it. You can't do that when you have kids. Well, I mean, you can... but it's frowned upon, generally.

Don't worry about being in your 30s and not having any kids, as that's more of a sign you're way, way ahead of the game. And you can still pick up chicks once you hit 30, it's just a lot harder to pick them up at the mall, high school football games, or the bowling alley on a Saturday afternoon. At least without getting a lot of stares and whispers.
It's easier for us guys to say that , but for the ladies approaching their 30s they have to worry about the biological clock if they want children of their own.
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Old 06-22-2014, 05:13 AM   #44
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For some, I guess. My wife also hates the idea. Some people just don't see any point sacrificing half your life and all of your money for someone else, who may or may not turn out to be a complete screw-up when all's said and done. But that's a whole other ball of wax.
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Old 06-22-2014, 07:51 AM   #45
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This seems to have turned into a debate about children, which is entirely down to individual preference. Everyone should do what feels right for them at a time that suits them.

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Its actually better to have your first kid in your 30's than the people who have kids young at like 22-25. You're finally older and mature enough to raise a child, and by then you should have a better job than you had in your 20's.
Not for everyone. I know a couple who became parents at a very young age (19 and 21) and have done an admiral job raising 2 healthy, happy and well balanced children. The dad is now in his 30's and as a footballer he earns less now than 10 years ago.

Likewise I know another couple who waited to start a family until their mid-late 30's and really struggled to adapt to a different way of life. I'm not saying one age is better than another, just that it's a very individual choice which others shouldn't judge you for or pressurise you into.

Me, I had my boys at 26 and 30 and so glad I did. Jobwise I'm on a similar salary to what I was 10 years ago, but honestly that's because I do not want to climb up to the next rung of my career ladder, as that position brings with it alot of stress and responsibility which I can't be bothered with. Children require a lot of input and energy from their parents and I for one am glad I can keep up with them when chasing around the garden or (of course) engaging in ninja battles

My main point is do what's right for you but don't presume to know what's best for others.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:22 AM   #46
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When I have kids I'm going to make sure they like everything that I like. From about the age of 5 I'll make them re-live my childhood from the 80's and 90's.

My kids will be educated on Ninja Turtles, Batman, Spiderman/X-men, all the DC and Marvel cartoons of the 90's, Pokemon, Simpsons, and every classic cartoon I grew up. They will watch every episode of Ninja Turtles from all 3 cartoons and read every TMNT comic when they get to about 10.

I will also start them with Super Mario Bros. 1 on NES and make them work their way up through the entire Nintendo console history from there to whatever the newest Nintendo console will be by that time.

My kids won't leave the house until they've relived my childhood of everything Nintendo, TMNT, and DC/Marvel related from about 1985 to present day. It will be amazing.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:28 AM   #47
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So, let me get this straight, Cubed. You're pretty much going to force your kids to like what you liked at their age instead of letting them choose for themselves what they like and don't like? That's just stupid. And what if they don't like the same things you did when you were a kid? Are you going to force them to watch something they may not want to watch? If that's the case, I feel sorry for any kids you have.

As for me, I don't want kids and don't need them. I'm not a patient person, and I feel that having kids would be too much of a hassle for me. Same goes with getting married since it doesn't always work out anyway. I don't need some dumb piece of jewelery or to walk down the aisle of some courthouse (no church for me thank you) in some dumb dress I'd only wear once anyway. I'd rather have a common law marriage, and that's what I"m striving for. If my BF wasn't on the same page with me in that department, then I'd just break it off and stay single.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:29 AM   #48
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So, let me get this straight, Cubed. You're pretty much going to force your kids to like what you liked at their age instead of letting them choose for themselves what they like and don't like? That's just stupid. And what if they don't like the same things you did when you were a kid? Are you going to force them to watch something they may not want to watch? If that's the case, I feel sorry for any kids you have.
Almost every kid will like TMNT, Nintendo, Batman, Marvel superheroes, etc. if exposed to a young age. I mean its what most kids like, superheroes. Its not that surprising.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:55 AM   #49
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Almost every kid will like TMNT, Nintendo, Batman, Marvel superheroes, etc. if exposed to a young age. I mean its what most kids like, superheroes. Its not that surprising.
But, you will be forcing them to like those things at an early age, instead of them developing their own interests.
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Old 06-22-2014, 10:08 AM   #50
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I can see where Cubed is coming from. If I have kids or nephews someday, I'll introduce them to retro games and TMNT as well. But I won't force them to like them, obviously.

Despite being born in 1990 myself, I grew up playing NES and SNES games thanks to my older brother. Also reruns of the Fred Wolf cartoon made me a Ninja Turtles fan. That being said, most kids don't care much about older stuff and they most likely prefer cartoons and games of their generation which is perfectly acceptable.

I guess every parent, deep down, wishes their kids liked the same stuff they did when they were younger.
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Old 06-22-2014, 02:34 PM   #51
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Eh, it sounds twisted but it's not a big deal. Kids have horrible taste when left to their own devices. Kids enjoy Barney, and the live-action Chipmunks movies, and awful stuff like that. They don't know what good entertainment is. If I did end up having a kid, I'd probably turn him into a robot, too.
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Old 06-22-2014, 02:50 PM   #52
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I am dreading it, just a few months away for me

Like you say, there is something about 30 that hits a spark with people. Every time I talk to my parents, they are like, " your almost 30 now" and that sort of BS. I think the age process hits you harder, for example weight gain baldness all become a concern. Although personally I still hit the gym and keep my self in great shape, I feel it more now, than when I was 21!

I don't think it will change me much, I like to live for the "here and now" rather than what "might be" in 10 years, but I can't help feel a big sense of sadness and maybe I should re think priorities.

I still feel, young in spirit and mind and I hope that counts for something.
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Old 06-22-2014, 04:55 PM   #53
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I honestly don't know how it's supposed to feel as a normal happy person. I've been bullied at least 75% of the times since I turned 30 so I haven't been enjoying my 30's so far.
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Old 06-22-2014, 06:07 PM   #54
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Almost every kid will like TMNT, Nintendo, Batman, Marvel superheroes, etc. if exposed to a young age. I mean its what most kids like, superheroes. Its not that surprising.
Yeah, but not all kids will be like that, and the way you're wording it is that you're going to shove this down your kid's throat without letting them decide for themselves what they like or don't like. It's fine to introduce them to what you liked when you were a kid and to see if they like it, too, but stating it like you're going to force them and they have no choice but to like it seems a little shallow to me.
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Old 06-22-2014, 06:37 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by CyberCubed View Post
When I have kids I'm going to make sure they like everything that I like. From about the age of 5 I'll make them re-live my childhood from the 80's and 90's.

My kids will be educated on Ninja Turtles, Batman, Spiderman/X-men, all the DC and Marvel cartoons of the 90's, Pokemon, Simpsons, and every classic cartoon I grew up. They will watch every episode of Ninja Turtles from all 3 cartoons and read every TMNT comic when they get to about 10.

I will also start them with Super Mario Bros. 1 on NES and make them work their way up through the entire Nintendo console history from there to whatever the newest Nintendo console will be by that time.

My kids won't leave the house until they've relived my childhood of everything Nintendo, TMNT, and DC/Marvel related from about 1985 to present day. It will be amazing.
Oh Cubed, you're a card. I can picture it now, your kids sitting at the kitchen table having to complete exams on the content of the various iterations of your fandoms. Low marks result in having to rewatch it all until they get it right!
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Old 06-22-2014, 06:43 PM   #56
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That's just cubed for ya'. I do understand how others here feel about having kids, though. It's one of the main reasons I had never intended to do so myself, and when it DID happen, I knew myself well enough to realize that raising a child was not for me, in spite of already being 30 at the time and the whole biological clock nonsense that so many people make a big deal of, or how "having children of your own is so rewarding!" Bull-hockey. I helped raise three of my cousins for 3 and a half years (ages 9 to 14) and that was as close as I ever wanted to get to having any.

When I had my unplanned little one, one of the first things I did after learning she was on the way was start looking into adoption possibilities. Our financial situation has never been great- mostly we barely get by with just the TWO of us- and I knew that raising a child would cause more complications than we could physically or financially deal with. Coupled with my natural lack of patience and aversion to infants and toddlers (I'm okay with kids over 4, but anything younger just causes me anxiety attacks) I knew it just wasn't a good idea. I ended up giving her to a couple with whom I was friends, who wanted but couldn't have another child. I've never regretted that decision. And although I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to raise her ourselves, we still keep in touch enough that I can see just how much of us is in her, and it makes me proud to see how much like her birth mom and dad she is.
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Old 06-22-2014, 07:49 PM   #57
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I'm one of those ones that will likely not have kids either, and I'm 34. I think especially with females, having kids is really pressured onto you, especially if you aren't one of the types that desire to have them. Stuff like "You'll love it if/when you have one' 'Who will take care of you when you're old?' and 'You're selfish/being immature' and the ever classic "I thought I didn't want them either, until I had one" are often thrown at the person.

I think if having them was not set as the expected default and that not having or wanting them was seen as OK, there might be a few less unwanted and abused children. Or even if the person was knocked up and they didn't want the child, it is seen as OK to put the child up for adoption instead of people expecting and pushing her to keep it (the 'child is better with it's mother' guilt tripping.)

And not having a child for personal reasons isn't selfish.It's selfless, because you aren't bringing a child into the world to be your mini-me, fulfill your life in some way, take care of you when you're old, pass on some genetic/name/family 'legacy' that may or may not even get fulfilled and that is only your expectation (what if he/she doesn't want children?) No child should ever be born with a 'job,' but many times one is pushed onto them, and often they are punished for it if they don't live up to this expectation. Not all parents do this (in fact there are many that don't) but there have been horror stories from people who found out once they didn't be what the parent wanted.

As for this, I'm not saying that all parents do this or are like this, but many of them kind of look down on the childless and childfree for not having kids. Often there is a patronizing attitude towards them, as if these aren't 'real adults' and are little more then immature sods that do little more then party and have tons of money. Or that they couldn't find someone or are bitter infertiles and crazy cat ladies/creepy men.

So to anybody who doesn't have kids, don't feel ashamed if you don't have them by X age. Many people don't, and having kids isn't a 'sign' of adulthood or being mature. Even teens get knocked up, and it doesn't make them mature, it's just shows that they can do what every organism can pretty much do, even down to the lowly cockroach.

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Old 06-22-2014, 07:55 PM   #58
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The problem with not having kids is who is going to look after you when you're 75 years old? The great thing about kids is when you're old and gray your kids, who will be like 40 year olds themselves by then, can help you with medical bills and such.

Just think about how your parents sometimes rely on you. Don't you want some kids to do that for you when you're 70 years old? Otherwise you'll be on your deathbed alone and alone. And alone.
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Old 06-22-2014, 08:14 PM   #59
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The problem with not having kids is who is going to look after you when you're 75 years old? The great thing about kids is when you're old and gray your kids, who will be like 40 year olds themselves by then, can help you with medical bills and such.

Just think about how your parents sometimes rely on you. Don't you want some kids to do that for you when you're 70 years old? Otherwise you'll be on your deathbed alone and alone. And alone.
Actually Cubed, that is one of the 'jobs' that people push onto a child before it's even born. "I only had you because you'll wipe my butt when I'm old" isn't something that you want to push onto a child.

What if you had one and he can't take care of you? What if he's special needs, and you are the one wiping his butt when you are 50? The child you have might be normal, but if could also have Down's, autism, severe mental illness, etc.

Plus Cubed, the folks that I've seen in the nursing homes, were often placed there by their children. Ask the nurses if you ever visit one. Rarely do the children come to visit. Sure, they visit like crazy during the first few months, then they... start... dropping.. off... until the older person hasn't seen them in ages.

And as a final mention for tonight, just because you're old, doesn't mean that you automatically get decrepit. Becoming decrepit enough to need care is often brought about a tiny bit by genetics, but more often by the person not taking care of themselves and becoming sedentary. That is when you start to 'rust' and get many of frailties, because your body isn't being used much and you just sit around. There are 75 year olds who are running marathons, and they aren't some freak exception, but just oldsters who decided that they weren't going to let themselves fall apart and then make somebody have to care for them.
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Old 06-22-2014, 10:05 PM   #60
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This made me laugh a little. Turning 30 isn't a big deal at all my dude. Just another day wiser, and another day to be thankful for the time you're given. It's a great time to be alive. Enjoy it.
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