TMNT571
03-14-2003, 04:55 PM
Warning Lables~
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box): Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!) (I love it: food to piss you off.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? )
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (You think?!)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (Can you use them underground?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (the other use???.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Thanks for the instructions!! :D)
On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (now you tell me!!!)
On a childs' superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box): Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!) (I love it: food to piss you off.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure??? )
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (You think?!)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (Can you use them underground?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (the other use???.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Thanks for the instructions!! :D)
On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (now you tell me!!!)
On a childs' superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)