Ninja Turtles: 10 Reasons It’s Going To Suck

[Xav]

http://whatculture.com/film/ninja-turtles-10-reasons-its-going-to-suck.php

[CyberCubed]

I agreed with most of his points, except when he called the 2007 movie, "cutesy." I never saw that movie as "cutesy" whatsoever, although it was clearly a kids movie.

[Zulithe]

Medicore is the best we can hope for. It's as easy as looking at the creative talent involved (Bay, Liebesman). While the first credited screenwriter has a recent hit (MI: Ghost Protocol) it clearly wasn't the strong script that made that movie the great success it turned out to be. That was all direction IMO.

Hang on guys, we are in for disappointing ride. May as well just re-watch the first TMNT movie and the new Nick show if you want to see something good.

I'll still see it opening day :P Gotta represent. And hope that I'm all wrong!

[grungethemovie]

they didn't need more than one reason XD but it would have been a very short article

10 reasons why ninja turtles will suck:

10 - M
9 - I
8 - C
7 - H
6 - A
5 - E
4 - L
3 - B
2 - A
1 - Y

[Wildcat]

"10 reasons everyone is over reacting"

Michael Bay...and some other stuff, but mostly Michael Bay

lol

[grungethemovie]

but since it's my new thing to continue till i get off-topic, let me elaborate on this

the reason michael bay (and the whole bay-way of making easy monies) is that it usually trades character for cheap
we have an example, let's put Megan Fox as April
Megan Fox was great casting for her character in transformers
she's the unattainable bad girl with a soft heart that serves to credit sam's nerdiness (and how by being a bad-ass he will get the girl)
but as April, he's easy trading a likable girl for hotness, why does that bother me?
because of Bumblebee
the camaro talking to sam with the radio, if you think about it, is brilliant, he won't speak cause that would freak the earthling out, and we have some great moments cause of it (baby come back)
but then they make it a trait the character doesn't have: let's make him not talk, he's got a broken voice chip!
and then it leads to them treating him like a dog: Don't pee on the human, bumblebee!
so instead of making you relate to a character, he usually creates situations where the character is relating to you. Like instead of creating music that you will remember for the movie, let's play simon and garfunkel at the funeral
ok, i won't discuss how the soundtrack works or not on Watchmen, but that's an example of how to cheap in a relation with the viewer
the problem with Bay(and related) is that it seems his human relations are superficial and he goes for creating characters and situations that try and bend to what he believes is what the audience wants (instead of embracing what well known characters might already resonate with the audience that already know them)
I'm not writing a bible on scriptwriting, characters usually are fun when they go back and forward off-character to twist and often concrete their more complex personality even.
but since i'm already way far, lemme talk about another example, not bay related
i've seen people use as an example of how someone that cherishes the character and how it would be better, they say Christopher Nolan likes Batman
from TDKR, sincerelly, i think he doesn't
he too gave the character a trait he doesn't have
Nolan's batman is weak and indecisive. at first, i thought instead of it being "The Dark Knight" trilogy, that what he was making was the "Batman Begins" trilogy, and Bruce uncertainty of being Batman was an off-character trait that he would conquer by the third film.
Instead, what we get is a Heist movie character, the "one last job and i'm out" trait that surely does not fit Batman. He goes all "so, my fellow John Blake, the funny thing about being Batman is that anyone can be Batman. Well, besides guy in Hockey pants, and of course me, i want out of that ****. So by anyone I mean you" (i took some liberties with the quote here)
Sincerely until the end of the movie, even though i already felt it was not going well, that the SPOILER cafe scene in the end would be Alfred NOT seeing Bruce give up, that would be instead, Bruce killing himself and Batman to become a symbol and John "Robin" Blake finding the batcave where Bruce would be in waiting for him: "Your training begins now"
And actually giving the kid means and resources to aid him in a quest that's not only his, and that he understood it was hard for him to take alone
I think that would resonate way better into a message for us to follow, we, as intelligent movie watchers, would understand the whole vigilante thing as a metaphor to doing the right thing and don't give up
But what we got is a "let's just be normal, it's ugly out there" that's kickass, not Batman (but even kickass gets the message wrong and suddenly the nerd kid becomes a "hero" cause he's got a backpack and ****ing guns")
well, i think i may have gone way off-topic here :)

[Wildcat]

^ Was that supposed to be a reply to me?

I know why people hate Michael Bay. I just think people are blowing it way out of proportion. Samething happened with Transformers. Which dumb jokes aside (like Bumblebee peeing) was really good imo. The first one.

2 and 3 got Baysplosion happy and tried too hard to be "cool".

Anyway like I said over reaction...10 reasons it'll suck? It was just an excuse to complain about Michael Bay, Megan Fox and the leaked script which pretty sure thats over with.

On a side note, how funny would it be if Michael Bay was chosen for Jurassic Park 4? Im kidding but with how this has turned out it would be hilarious...from an OHZ NOZ! point of view.

[ToTheNines]

That list ate a bag of dicks.

[grungethemovie]

nah, i was writing it anyway, luckily it kinda flowed into a response to you (and i don't look like i'm just writing by myself, so, thanks for that XD)

well, a little story, i couldnt finish the first transformers the first time i tried watching it, but i make an effort to watch bad movies if i think they're relevant (to my context - i like the bumblebee figure, so let's try and watch this thing it's based on) but i could only watch the first after i suffered through the second - and i felt it wasn't as bad as it could get - it is still very bad - it misses tones, action is not engaging, jokes are terrible
i'm just afraid it would happen to the turtles, though a lot of bad things already happened(3rd movie, 4kids series, TMNT) it never became a thing that i actively dislike, just, something not good - an example, what i like from tmnt: the first movie, the first issue(ok, maybe the first collected volume) and the first season of the OT, thought i think the second movie and seasons 2 and 3 are "funny"
but the first movie is just so good!

hmm, but thinking about it, yeah, maybe i shouldn't care that much XD

[grungethemovie]

That list ate a bag of dicks.
a bag of dicks? XD thats louie CK right? it became a thing? (or it's always been a thing and i didn't know?)

[Wildcat]

@ grungethemovie, you think the 4kids/2k3 series was bad? I can understand if you prefer OT or Nick but to label it "bad" is just ridiculous, sorry.

And really you couldnt finish TF1 the first time? If you watched TF2 first then it seems you already had some preconceived hate going into it.

Besides the dumb jokes my only real complaint is the Bumblebee and Barricade chase scene was basically non existent. It ends so suddenly and then its night. Its like they filmed some awesome chase but cut it out.

[Jester]

10. I can mildly understand. Bay's films aren't exactly a seal of quality.
9. Seriously? The author can't tell me they always say "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles". Everyone at some point just calls them Ninja Turtles.
8. I can kinda see tame. But most comic book movies now though are PG-13. I don't see why Turtles can't be.
7. See #10.
6. Are they still even aliens? I know it was part of the old script, but would the rewrites remove the alien stuff?
5. Yeah, we all know Kevin just loves that the Turtles are on the big screen again...it's been mentioned a bit here. He's ever the cheerleader.
4. Not my ideal, but at this point all the venom has me a bit tired....
3. The mythology COULD (and probably SHOULD) be expanded...JUST not by these guys.
2. Production delays could actually be a GOOD thing. Improving scripts, costumes. and who knows what else.
1. The leaked script does suck....but how much of that script will make it to the big screen is yet to be seen.

So...a load of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

[grungethemovie]

@ grungethemovie, you think the 4kids/2k3 series was bad? I can understand if you prefer OT or Nick but to label it "bad" is just ridiculous, sorry.

And really you couldnt finish TF1 the first time? If you watched TF2 first then it seems you already had some preconceived hate going into it.

Besides the dumb jokes my only real complaint is the Bumblebee and Barricade chase scene was basically non existent. It ends so suddenly and then its night. Its like they filmed some awesome chase but cut it out.

yeah, i knew it would sound bad, but it's my opinion, lemme say i don't prefer it, but no, i think i actually don't like it, sorry if this sounds ridiculous to you :) i think they try too hard to be "bad-ass" even their designs, they make them look inversed triangle shaped(like animated batman) but their jokes can be even worse than the ot and i find the intro song embarrassing - maybe just cause it doesn't have a retro factor to me? and ff is jumping the shark, but i never watched it, actually, i could never watch the 4kids show, sorry - i love turtles forever though
ok, i'll give it a try :)

no, i tried watching transformers, but i felt the tone and timing wasn't working, i just left the movie, when transformers 2 came out, i understood it was a thing, so i went through that (ok, i confess, i skimmed through it) and went back to the first and i felt it was ok, sure better than robot car humping megan fox or sudden new unclear reason for character falls into megan's fox crotch, or robot testicles, or optimus dying for no reason (actually that brings me back to the first, how in the action scenes seems characters appear and disappear at the plot's sheer convenience)

or robot that can disguise as human, but blows up cover at the worst moment
i just feel bay's movies lack propulsion in story development, his action scenes lack geography (though i could say the same to nolan's batman in a certain instance XD) not that these things make for sure bad movies (indiana jones is crazy but fun, cause it's very engaging) but michael bay... on a side note, did you ever see that he reused footage from the island on transformers 3?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTCOMVH-AK0

and there's an example on tone, the fanfanfanfan playing through the scene to make it "epic" kinda kills the rhythm for me, then there's bb rolling out, sam flying through the air and bumblebee catching him back and transforming back and he screams, and it should be funny, but somehow it doesn't, cause it's always playing for bad-ass, and..idk it's confusing

[Jay $tarkiller]

While I agree on most of the points and I'm not too happy with all the bad news and rumors, I still gotta say, that people should try to relax a little more. I know it's very dear to our hearts that this reboot doesn't suck, but sadly there's not a lot we can do about it. I'll just wait for it to hit the theatres & then check it out. Let's just hope the best:twink:

[grungethemovie]

^ i can agree with that too

and i'm trying 4kids right now, i have tried to watch the first episode a couple of times but it just doesn't click as awesome, but let's see, i might enjoy it

10. I can mildly understand. Bay's films aren't exactly a seal of quality.
9. Seriously? The author can't tell me they always say "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles". Everyone at some point just calls them Ninja Turtles.
8. I can kinda see tame. But most comic book movies now though are PG-13. I don't see why Turtles can't be.
7. See #10.
6. Are they still even aliens? I know it was part of the old script, but would the rewrites remove the alien stuff?
5. Yeah, we all know Kevin just loves that the Turtles are on the big screen again...it's been mentioned a bit here. He's ever the cheerleader.
4. Not my ideal, but at this point all the venom has me a bit tired....
3. The mythology COULD (and probably SHOULD) be expanded...JUST not by these guys.
2. Production delays could actually be a GOOD thing. Improving scripts, costumes. and who knows what else.
1. The leaked script does suck....but how much of that script will make it to the big screen is yet to be seen.

So...a load of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

it's just... we cannot in clear conscience leave our beloved turtles at bay : ))

[ZariusTwo]

I think that would resonate way better into a message for us to follow, we, as intelligent movie watchers, would understand the whole vigilante thing as a metaphor to doing the right thing and don't give up
But what we got is a "let's just be normal, it's ugly out there" that's kickass, not Batman

That's "not Batman" to you. I thought it was perfectly in-character for him to settle down at the end, and if the Batman comics didnt make money and had to be continuously serialized, you'd probably eventually get that ending there too. Original Silver Age Earth-2 Bats did more or less the same thing and settled with Selina.

[ToTheNines]

Smh

Go away and don't come back.

[snake]

Nerd rage! :x

Get a life! ****in loosers..

Already makin lists on why its going to suck.. Smh

I'm guessing your supporting this movie:)?

[Cipher]

Nerd rage! :x

Get a life! ****in loosers..
Name: Megatron
Location: Cybertron

Haha, okay.

On topic, best case scenario: The movie's entertaining.

Worst case: It sucks and life goes on. Lots of franchises have terrible movies attached to them. Turtles has some already.

[sgtfbomb]

I think it's a bit early to say that it will suck, but the ingredients at best suggest a generic film. The director hasn't made anything decent yet, just movies for people who don't care by people who don't care. Platinum Dunes hasn't really produced anything all that spectacular either, just generic horror remakes with JC Penney casting. Megan Fox, while attractive and in a role that doesn't require upscale acting, isn't quite a match for the role of April. Now, that doesn't mean it will suck. It just doesn't give me a lot to get behind.

But, if it does suck, it won't because it's PG-13 or because it chopped off two words from the title.


Get a life! ****in loosers..


Says the guy who is clearly emotionally susceptible to other people's opinions on movies and can't spell "losers" right.......

[Wildcat]

@ grungethemovie, Saying the 4kids/2k3 series is bad for Fast Forward, art design and theme song is quite silly.

Fast Forward was obviously forced in to appeal to younger kids. It wasn't even the real next season. The Lost/Ninja Tribunal season was to be next. I never liked FF either.

Art style? Uh ok, has nothing to do with the writing. Neither does the theme song...which yes, OT theme > 4kids theme. Thats pointless here.

I hardly recall any dumb jokes. Not that it matters cause they dont.

[CyberCubed]

Fast Forward was obviously forced in to appeal to younger kids. It wasn't even the real next season. The Lost/Ninja Tribunal season was to be next. I never liked FF either.

What on earth are you talking about? Fast Forward was always planned they just bumped it ahead by a year. Even if the Ninja Tribunal aired in its proper place, Fast Forward still would have happened.

[Shark_Blade]

The list made valid points tbh.

I worry for the turtles.

[Wildcat]

What on earth are you talking about? Fast Forward was always planned they just bumped it ahead by a year. Even if the Ninja Tribunal aired in its proper place, Fast Forward still would have happened.

Well yeah I know that but FF was obviously brought in for a younger crowd and to be more "cool". Its certainly not in continuity with how the rest of the series is.

I mean its not the same tone. Its obvious it was a branch off. Of course in Turtles Forever they had to acknowledge it.

[sdp]

A website that makes a top 10 and makes you go to a new page for every ****ing number talking about a movie that we have barely any information about making any top list like this ridiculous?

Do the fandom a favor and don't give them any ad money by going to the site.

[Xav]

Well yeah I know that but FF was obviously brought in for a younger crowd and to be more "cool". Its certainly not in continuity with how the rest of the series is.

I mean its not the same tone. Its obvious it was a branch off. Of course in Turtles Forever they had to acknowledge it.How did Turtles Forever acknowledge it?

[CyberCubed]

Well yeah I know that but FF was obviously brought in for a younger crowd and to be more "cool". Its certainly not in continuity with how the rest of the series is.

LOL, what?

Fast Forward is in blatant continuity with the rest of the show. Did you even watch it?

[Wildcat]

LOL, what?

Fast Forward is in blatant continuity with the rest of the show. Did you even watch it?

Ugh...I know its in continuity. Thats why I said tone, instead. Where you erased that portion of the quote.

I mean its obvious its a branch off of the series. To say its bad because it gave us FF is like saying the 90s live action movies were bad because of part 3.

Its really separate styles of show here.

@ Xav, they acknowledged it by using some of the technology they got from the future.

[ryukenden]

Given Transformers' track record for the actual characters. I wouldn't be surprised if half the Turtles are the powerhouses and score the most kills and the other half not nearly as much. Bay might just pull a Bumblebee on Mikey given his popularity. The other powerhouse could be Leo since he's the one with the most lethal weapons or it could be Raph given his sociopathic nature. I ain't holding my breath for Donny.

[grungethemovie]

@ grungethemovie, Saying the 4kids/2k3 series is bad for Fast Forward, art design and theme song is quite silly.

Fast Forward was obviously forced in to appeal to younger kids. It wasn't even the real next season. The Lost/Ninja Tribunal season was to be next. I never liked FF either.

Art style? Uh ok, has nothing to do with the writing. Neither does the theme song...which yes, OT theme > 4kids theme. Thats pointless here.

I hardly recall any dumb jokes. Not that it matters cause they dont.

dude, i didnt know one could be so offended by my not liking the 4k cartoon
it's just my opinion, but as an apology, i did watch today search for splinter and secret origins (or so i remember the titles) and it's cool, i guess, just doesn't appeal to me much
maybe i'd go crazy over it if i watched it when i was 14, idk (they do look like what we were all dying for them to look back then - around the fighting game) but like i said,i think it tries too much to be cool and radical (and, like i said, EVEN their designs)

and let me make a stand on what you say it's silly. I think one can (or at least i know i can) like something or not by it's core art DIRECTION
it does make a lot of difference on a lot of stuff on how everything works in the cartoon, for instance, i think it would not like to be called a "cartoon" i think it would rather be called an "animated series".

but that's me man, i'm not forcing you to change your mind about it or anything
however if you want me to rephrase so you're not offended, ok, here it is:

"...though a lot of bad things already happened(3rd movie, 4kids series, TMNT) it never became a thing that i actively dislike, just, something not good - an example, what i like from tmnt: the first movie, the first issue(ok, maybe the first collected volume) and the first season of the OT, thought i think the second movie and seasons 2 and 3 are "funny""

to

"though a lot of things i don't like (3rd movie, 4kids series, TMNT) nothing ever bacame something i actively dislike, just something i do not find good"
or even "even with some stuff that i'm not crazy about, they have never hurt my liking of tmnt as a whole"

[Wildcat]

@ grungethemovie, I wasn't offended and there's no need to apologize or rephrase. I just meant your reasons for disliking it really had nothing to do with core of the show.

Its fine if people don't like the art style and theme song but those are really separate things from what the show was about and it's storylines. Its quite literally like the old saying...don't judge a book by its cover.

I myself wasn't a teenager when I saw it. Im 28 now and saw it's original run. Alot of cartoons or animated series appeal to older crowds.

[shihe]

@ Xav, they acknowledged it by using some of the technology they got from the future.

And don't forget Sterling!

[pannoni1]

For all intents and purposes, this is basically a worst case scenario buzz that simply states what could go wrong, and you can do this to any project. People forget how many people work on a single film these days (a couple thousand), and I imagine behind the scenes there is so much coming in that suggests how this will come along. A simple TMNT movie that is a CG/Live Action mix, typical of 21st century live action movies will flow well as long as it doesn't get too ridiculous. It probably will have a short shelf life unless if there are many decent sequels as is the case for most summer blockbusters made in the past 15-20 years.

[Ramboraph4life aka Matt]

Granted, it's still a long wait, and who knows what will happen...and obviously I don't know what/how the movie will end up being like...so I apologize for this silly question...

But is it too much to hope that this movie will at least Attempt to give 3-dimensional roles to each of the Turtles...

I'm not saying it has to be Nolan type stuff...but at least a little meat to the characters, emotions, etc?

Is that really so hard to ask from a writing standpoint?

(And no, from this kind of team, I can't expect that in a realistic standpoint...so I guess I answered my own question...but again...would it really be THAT hard to attempt that?)

[TurtleMaster4]

I found the first four to be annoying angry fan boy nitpicks.

But the other 6 pretty much summed it up..........

[zak_the_neutrino]

I for one am looking forward to the new film. I like to be entertained when I see a movie, that's all I ask. Bay movies always kick ass and the turtles are coming back to the big screen, what more do you want? Would you rather have no turtles movie? So many people with complaints. You all seem to think you know how the movie is gonna turn out before even seeing It. Just chill and enjoy what's to come. To me this is gonna be a blast and I can't wait. Oh yeah, and to the people I see claiming they aren't gonna see the movie... That's a bunch of bull. You will be there first in line to buy a ticket. Stop trying to sound like the last guy just because he said he wouldn't see it. It's all BS.

[ObiWanFan4life]

I personally am Dredding this movie. Not because of Bay because he made one movie i (sorta) liked The Rock. Because it's directed by Jonathan Libesmam, (sry if i spelled it wrong.) who made the ABYSMAL Wrath of The Titans.

[zak_the_neutrino]

I personally am Dredding this movie. Not because of Bay because he made one movie i (sorta) liked The Rock. Because it's directed by Jonathan Libesmam, (sry if i spelled it wrong.) who made the ABYSMAL Wrath of The Titans.

With Bay running the overall show its hard to think that he will let JL ruin the project. I'm hyped for it (even Megan Fox) But to each his own I guess. I just can't stress enough how phony SOME people sound when they claim they won't see it when in actuality they will if they are real true tmnt fans.

[shihe]

I'm going to see it definitely, but I'll set my phazers to SUCK just in case.

I really hope another article like this popped up somewhere, but giving 10 reasons why it's going to rock instead.

We've got most Turtles things awesome so far and if Bay pulls this off, TMNT will score for a 3rd time. I don't want the cartoon to fail due to Bay.