I'm going to kill myself

[Moonlight1102]

I've had to put up with being bullied and hated my entire life because of my Aspergers. I literally have no friends in real life, and the people here sure aren't helping. My parents hate me, my school life sucks, I've done nothing with my life.
My friends here have already lost all sympathy for me because of my actions, and now I have no reason to live



Goodbye forever.

[tmnt transformer]

Really....

[LH]

Please.. STOP..

You don't know what you're doing. People DO love you! Your parents DO love you!

There is ALWAYS a reason to live. Please.. Just don't do it! :tcry:

[Cure]

Go to this (http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) website and get some help.

[愛]

1. See you tomorrow.
2. Please visit Cure's website.
3. It always gets better, as cliché as that sounds.

[Blossombrooks]

I'm not sure I've talked to you on the boards but you're obviously in pain and I'd like to help.
You say you've done nothing with your life but you sound quite young, trust me there is time enough to make your life into whatever you want it to be, if you'll allow yourself to do so. Letting go is not the answer and your parents will be devastated, trust me. I almost lost a young relative to suicide last year and they now realise it was a mistake, they were lucky that they were found in time, it was close.
Is there a school counsellor you can talk to? You must be able to talk to someone. You can get through this.

[D-Nizzy]

You've got us. Please feel free to PM me anytime you want to talk. Most of us have been bullied at one time or another. IT GETS BETTER.

You're slogging through a tough patch right now, but there is always something worth hanging in for.

[Lethal Lullaby]

Yes. Moonlight, You really shouldn't do it. Suicide is not the way to go. And like blossombrooks said, there's gotta be someone for you to talk to.

[Refractive Reflections]

Go to the website Cure referred you to. Don't do it! Nothing good comes from doing things when your emotions are at an extreme.

There are people you can talk to (i.e. school counselor) and you would be surprised if you get to know people how everyone has some form of hurt or pain in their lives that can give help and advise on how to overcome them.

It may seem like the end of the world, but it isn't. I'm sure your parents do LOVE you because, from what I'm assuming, they still have you at their home. (Who knows what kind of stress your parents may be under too.) And don't take your classmates teasing/insults to heart, it's not worth it. Don't try to impress or value people's opinions who don't value you in the first place.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

I've had to put up with being bullied and hated my entire life because of my Aspergers. I literally have no friends in real life, and the people here sure aren't helping. My parents hate me, my school life sucks, I've done nothing with my life.
My friends here have already lost all sympathy for me because of my actions, and now I have no reason to live



Goodbye forever.

Bullies CAN be dealt with. In high school I had someone bully me, and I told the principal about it. He talked to the bully and didn't bother me again.

[Moonlight1102]

I don't want to tell anyone about suicide, I will be thrown in a mental home for years if I do!!!!

I CAN'T take it!!!!

[Voltron]

I've read and posted these myself. Though I must say, if you're going to kill yourself, find a better reason than a ninja turtles message board. Also, if you're telling someone that you're going to kill yourself, you're probably not going to do it.

If anything, this is a scream for positive attention. I know the feeling, though I don't know where your feeling in particular stems. For me, it was a crappy family life, poor diet, lack of exercise. . . I was in a bad way.

My solution: nothing will cure you completely of this, but it's very manageable. Try getting out of the house more, even if it's just by yourself. I go to movies and eat out a lot. I also try to exercise when I can, to undo the eating out (five guys is awesome self-medication) and also because it releases endorphins which make you feel good. Eating a balanced diet made me feel a bit better, too.

Most important: talk. Talk with anyone who will actually listen. There are a lot of people here who would. I would. I saw offers in posts above, too.

Today's world is built to induce chronic stress. Some people, like you and I, are not well suited to this.

Also, Apsberger's is a pretty hefty weight. Are you clinically diagnosed, or is it just a hunch you have because high school is rough?

[Powder]

Everything Voltron said. Especially the first half.

[Blossombrooks]

You won't be put away anywhere and they will just want to help. You're telling us and that's the first step, a lot of helplines are anonymous, it would kind of be like talking to us.

[LH]

Yeah! Like Blossom said. They sincerely do want to help you. Nobody will think less of you for calling for help.

You're stronger than this. I know you can get through it.

[Kunoichi_Haruko]

You know, I had this whole post written up to address your problems, but Voltron pretty much said what I was aiming to say.

So instead, I'll just quote someone you may have heard of before:

"Some say, the path from inner turmoil begins with a friendly ear. My ear is open, if you care to use it."- Master Splinter.

Talk. I'll listen. We all will.

[Moonlight1102]

My parents are divorced and my father is sick of me. My mother lives far away and she can't help me. Everyday I have to go to school with moronic guys who cause me to fail because they act stupid joke alot and distract the teacher.

When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with autism. I once nearly strangled a kid to death. I wasn't aware that I was doing anything wrong until now. Now people are afraid of me and bullying me at school. I try to go to the internet to escape from my real life problems only for people bully again for my poor actions caused by Aspergers. I feel like I wont be accepted anywhere

I'm not lying just to get attention. I feel alone and worthless.

[D-Nizzy]

You're not alone. You're not worthless. You deserve help. Please go visit Cure's website or talk to a guidance counselor or an adult that you trust.

Everything seems permanent when you're struggling, but it will change, it will get better.

[Refractive Reflections]

Moonlight, talk to those helplines they will help you. You have to put your situation into perspective. It's not the end of the world.
I've known friends who were physically and mentally abused by one/both of their parents and lived in the crime-rampant inner city, and they are doing well today. If it should give you any hope, there are former prisoners of war and abuse victims who have conquered their hardships and are living well today. You got to put your situation into perspective, don't let your extreme emotions dictate your actions.

You GOT to talk to someone on the helpline! ...If your emotions are this extreme.

[Moonlight1102]

I talked it over with a few people and I guess I feel little better. Still upset.
I wasn't lying! I'm sorry!

[LH]

I talked it over with a few people and I guess I feel little better. Still upset.
I wasn't lying! I'm sorry!

It's okay! I'm glad you're feeling better. We'll get you through this. :tsmile:

[Blossombrooks]

Nobody thinks you're lying and don't be sorry, everyone here just wants to help and it's good you reached out. Please continue to talk to people.

[Kunoichi_Haruko]

Don't apologize for feeling the way you feel. And don't apologize for bringing it to our attention. It's better than holding it inside until you can't take anymore and do something drastic.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

[XERO]

I've had a close friend who killed herself about 3 years ago. Only difference between her and you is she didn't show any of the problems that you're going through. Unfortunately, she did a good job of concealing her pain. She was always happy, friendly, and social with others, including me.

Next thing you know, she's putting a bullet through her mouth. She died after 1 and a half day in ICU.

I don't want to rant to you on the consequences on suicide, but I will say this: It won't solve any of the problems that you're experiencing. People go their whole lives trying to get that 'happy ending', but the cold truth is, it doesn't exist. You have to look within your own soul to make everything worth it. Because believe me, it is. You may not see that now, but the evidence is there.

Obviously, we're all concerned for you here. Just imagine your actual family. People don't show their true colors often, but they give a damn about you.

Like everyone else said, check out that website, man. It definitely wouldn't hurt.

[Leo656]

You gotta try and keep calm and listen to what everyone here has been saying. I sometimes think I get suicidally depressed at least once a day, although that has to be an exaggeration, it just FEELS like I'm down that often. I and others can relate a lot to what you're going through. Everybody's got their rough patches and a lot of times it can feel like it's never going to change or can only get worse. Sometimes it does get worse. But then sometimes when it seems like it can only get worse from here, it randomly gets better. For me, some of the biggest positive things to happen to me in my entire life came only AFTER I'd mentally thrown in the towel and given up hope. Now when I feel down and out, I remind myself of that and how it would really be very stupid and pointless for me to have suffered and struggled for so long for no reason and no payoff. The way I look at it, is it all HAS to have been for something, and I'll MAKE it be that way if I have to.

Further, and it's so cliche, but to hell with what other people think of you. Anyone in life who makes it their business to drag people down instead of build people up is frankly trash. Take what they say at the source, remember that they don't matter, and tell yourself that you're better than them. You have to be better than them by definition, after all you're not the one picking on people for being different, right? Bullies are nothing more than wimps and cowards who need to step on other people and make them feel small, so they can feel good about themselves because they're the ones whose lives are that miserable. Otherwise they'd be doing something meaningful. I'm not saying it's always easy, but it starts with realizing that you're better than them, and deserve better, and not letting anyone tell you different. Don't let people drag you down with their petty nonsense.

Finally, the sad fact is that if you kill yourself, it doesn't prove or fix anything, and sadly most people don't feel sympathy for those who do it. Most people I know, sadly, treat suicides as big jokes, like "Wow, guess he really was stupid after all, huh?" Don't give people the satisfaction of letting them think you're weak. You can't be weak, after all, because you're struggling with things they can't even comprehend.

My best friend told me off one time not that long ago when I was in the middle of a really bad stretch and told him I was seriously thinking of killing myself. Instead of sympathy, I got: "If you do that, I won't even go to your funeral except to spit in your casket, because you'd be nothing but a huge disappointment to me, you'd let me down, and make me feel like I wasted my time ever getting to know you, let alone care about you. It would be a huge insult to me and anyone else who cares about you. I think you're better than that, and if you prove me wrong I will never, ever forgive you for it." I was a little pissed off, until I realized he was right to tell me off like he did. One of the reasons we're good friends is because he's so honest and blunt, and I like people like that. It's what I needed to hear. "We expect better from you, so expect better from yourself". I was being stupid, letting things that don't matter cloud my judgment and make me feel I was worthless, and I needed a hard slap to wake me up.

I struggle with it almost every day, so I can't say "Well, one day it'll be easy" because I haven't gotten to that point. But I do know it can't get better if you quit, you can't win the game if you take yourself off the board. You've gone this far, right? You've put up with so much, dealt with so much sh*t it feels like the world's caving in, but so far, you've managed. Make it mean something! You do matter, you are better than the people telling you otherwise.

Glad today seems to be going better for you. Feel free to PM me whenever if you want to. And try to remember this lyric, it's gotten me through many, many dark days:
"When your truth turns to lie, and the pain makes you cry,
And the fountains of faith run dry...
When your dream starts to die, and the fire inside starts to dim, the more you fight..."
Take a look at yourself, and what you've sacrificed."
-Fozzy, "Lazarus"

[ZariusTwo]

I'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now..but I have aspergers, I have contemplated jumping off a building a few times, and I have spent a month in hospital because I went a little loco...although it wasnt because I felt dejected or anything, it's because I obsessed too much over a particular interest and let that one interest dictate my attitudes for two years until it ate away at me

It took me pills, a lot of time to myself, a lot of kindly people and minders, and I've more or less improved. It doesnt change everything of course. I'm still an asshole to some people, but I feel pretty normal about it because...well, everyone can be a d*ck...but you shouldnt let that side be the part you demonstrate all of the time to people. It can paint a pretty bad picture.

Killing yourself may also make the people that have given you a hard time feel really down...but if you think for one solitary second it'll somehow make them suicidal, you're up a gum tree. They'll see your actions as selfish and cowardly and not think twice about it if they're strong-willed and have been down the rabbit hole enough times not to borrow further down it.

Try not to go OTT all the time on a certain subject, once you step back a bit and see the blessings in disguise, life isnt about the big problems. You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings, this is all one world and those that listen do our best to understand it, you don't have to fight battles that neednt be fought so aggresivly.

[Shreddhead]

Hey there Moonlight, Im sorry to hear about these bad things in your life. School can be a very tough place. And it also puts a lot of stress on family relationships too, I nearly got into a fist fight with my dad during my senior year. But time really does help mend these things. I know that sounds like the most cliche advise ever, but I promise you its true. After high school, you don't see the kids you don't like or those who were mean to you. Getting a job can also be good for you. Just having an every day job to wake up to and come home from opens up new possible friendships and experiences. I hope I dont sound too much like Calvin's dad.
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120813020640/candh/images/8/8e/Character_Building.png

And I cant say I know the relationship between you and your father, but I doubt that he doesnt love you. As I said, family relationships can survive years of troubled times and still come out great. Me and my dad are closer than ever now. My sister is about to graduate high school and she's going through the same mood swings/ unfriendlyness I went through at that age. You might want to try and bond over you're shared interests. Do you like sports at all, or specific movies, or music? My dad and I started bonding over hockey and music, and its created a great bond. And dont necessarily start off with one of your "big" likes, such as TMNT, if he's not already any sort of fan. (Believe me, I tried and it doesnt work :D ) Just remember its a 2 way street, try getting involved with something he likes too.

Best of luck! And if you need to talk, you know where to find me.

[XERO]

D_Vg4uyYwEk

[Leo656]

:lol: I love that one brah. Way to read my mind.

[XERO]

It's my favorite scene.

[turtletoons81]

I've had to put up with being bullied and hated my entire life because of my Aspergers. I literally have no friends in real life, and the people here sure aren't helping. My parents hate me, my school life sucks, I've done nothing with my life.
My friends here have already lost all sympathy for me because of my actions, and now I have no reason to live



Goodbye forever.
moonlight please don't do this,this isn't your fault people who bully are big a**holes and they just feel like bullying people cause they feel it's good the thing i suggest you do is call a parent or principle to stop it....so please don't do this....also school is always hard place to fit in since people in school are stranger's but sometimes you can make friends by being nice,i was bullied by a tall kid in middle school got punched in the face and i started bleeding. hope you get better

[Redeemer]

I talked it over with a few people and I guess I feel little better. Still upset.
I wasn't lying! I'm sorry!

Glad to hear your feeling better.

[Voltron]

And it passes, but it will come again. That's the nature of the beast. Don't fret, though. You can beat it; you just have to try.

[CyberCubed]

Everything that needed to be said has already been said.

Although from reading through this thread I'm surprised how many other people here considered suicide at some point. There's a difference between getting depressed over things in life not going your way (understandable), but thinking about killing yourself is too far.

Also basing your life on this one particular time period is ridiculous. People's 20's and 30's are a lot different than their teens years, and so on and so forth.

[Davin]

D_Vg4uyYwEk

THIS!!!! Keep your head up!

[Impervium Gem]

Hey there. :)

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better by now. Living with family and being surrounded by morons in life is definitely not easy and I understand that sometimes things feel so hopeless that going on seems impossible, but it's good that you could speak about it here.

Bullying someone is something really pathetic, no matter due to what reason they treat you like that: It's wrong! I've read quite often that it's best to talk to somebody at your school about it so a teacher or the principal can put an end to this, have a chat with the bullies and clear that up. Whenever life gets rough there's no need to feel ashamed to get some help, after all you might get some new advice or learn of another option you might have not been aware of before. Happened to me quite a few times. :tsmile:

Oh, by the way, have you ever tried Rescue Remedy? http://www.bachflower.com/rescue-remedy-information/ We are rather satisfied with it at home as they can be taken in particularly stressful situations, help calming down.

[Katie]

As a family member of someone who committed suicide I can tell you it messes families up. It messed my grandmother up so bad that she died on the anniversary of my uncle's actions. It won't punish bullies or make them think twice about anything. It only hurts your family. Period.

I hate my uncle for what he did to the family.

[BubblyShell22]

Suicide is not the answer as it ruins lives rather than solves the problem. Divorce may be rough, but your parents do love you, and if you kill yourself, it won't solve anything. You'll just be left with parents who've lost one child, classmates who have lost another classmate, and you really won't be doing yourself a favor. Yes, life can be rough. I've felt depressed at times and have felt worthless also, but I'd never take my life. Have I thought of it? Yes, but then I always thought about the people in my life and how it would affect them if I killed myself. You may not realize it, but there are people who care about you. You have to stay strong and maybe talk to someone about this. It'll help. You could also write a journal and detail why you feel down. I've done this myself, and it really works to get all the feelings out.

"Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die
You gotta get up and try try try."

Try by P!nk.

[Refractive Reflections]

It's good that you are feeling a bit better Moonlight. If you feel that way be sure to talk to someone because isolating yourself with your extreme emotions will only intensify those emotions.

As for the bullies, they can only hurt you if you value their opinion. It's easier said than done, but you have treat them like a dog barking on the street. No matter how many times they make noise and make a scene from behind the gate, if you give them attention they'll continue to be louder and bark louder.

Remember that high school is only 4 years as with college, and don't compromise your integrity and values for them or any type of peer pressure because when high school/college is over, they'll be off doing their own thing and you're the one who compromised yourself just to be accepted by a bunch of people who didn't care about you in the first place. What's for them? One may have done all those things to be "cool" but now you're the one dealing with all of the consequences and regrets.

It may be difficult but there are some decent people out there who would be great friends. Who knows? They may feel just as isolated and alone as you do, but just observe your classmates behavior and be a bit pro-active. Remember friends are only friends if they can uplift you and respectfully not challenge your integrity and values.

As for your father, talk it out with him. It's far too easy sometimes for us (as children) to compare our parents to others when sometimes we have to realize they're human too. Most of us probably realize this unrealistic high standard we had set for our parents when we have children of our own. Who knows what kind of stress or hardship he might be going through and may have inadvertently said something wrong.

As you have seen, most to all of us have had varying levels of hardship that seemed overwhelming at the moment, but once you come through it and look back in hindsight, you will see how that experience has transformed you into a better person. To become not only stronger, but to be more compassionate and helpful to others because now you can empathize with others pain. Or a metaphoric way of saying it, the way to transform a boulder-like rock into a "work-of-art" statue is only when it's been chiseled aggressively through the trials and hardships of life. You can PM me whenever you want to.

[CyberCubed]

and I have spent a month in hospital because I went a little loco...although it wasnt because I felt dejected or anything, it's because I obsessed too much over a particular interest and let that one interest dictate my attitudes for two years until it ate away at me

Just curious, but what was that particular interest?

[***First of Two Latin Kings***]

I haven't read everything that others have said here (I read the first half), but please don't be offended that others thought you were "lying" or just calling out for attention, because that's typically the case-- USUALLY those who are serious become very introverted (I had a roommate commit suicide). I know from what I've heard that Asberger's can be a challenge to those who suffer from it, so you have my sympathy there, but if you're high-functioning, you can ultimately have a better life than those idiots who are bullying you just because you are different, or because they're actually probably a little scared of you.

Killing yourself is NOT the solution; and in this day in age, you aren't just going to be institutionalized because you're a struggling teen. Those days are pretty much gone. The real problem here is that you sound like you have a crappy family life and no real support system. It is your school counselor's job to help you make things better for yourself. But it is ALSO your job. You have to care enough about yourself to stick it out even when it sucks. I personally don't believe there is anything after this (I actually kind of hope there isn't), but I don't want to take the chance that I'm wrong and kill myself, not know that I'm aware of that. Even when things really suck. Make sense?

If you're a high functioning person suffering from Asperger's, you still see the world very differently from your peers and the school you go to should have at least one professional equipped to helping you. I wish you the best, I really do, and I'm not going to pretend the advice I've given you is better or as good as what others have said, but I think I might be able to empathize with you a little better, but that's no fault of anyone else here.

[Mona_Lisa]

When I was a teen, I had a bad home life, I wasn't "Poor" but besides food and the walmart clothes on my back I had notting, and the kids at school hated me... Or they must have as much as I was bullied anyway.
Whenever I would complain to my parents about how bad I though my life was at that point they very coldly tould me I need to get over it because "This is the best years of your life".
I couldn't handle that, and thouse words drove me to try killing myself several times. But you know what? I failed!:D And I'm so happy I did. My parents were wrong, so wrong... The best was yet to come. Now I'm happly married, and I have two beautiful little girls. I Love me life! When I think of how I tried to kill myself it breaks my heart because I would have never met my husband, My kids would have NEVER BEEN BORN! Hold on kid, the best is yet to come;)

[raphfan84]

I don't know you or what you are going through but I wish you the best in life and hope you can get through this tough time. There is always other ways than suicide!!! I know life can be very hard and sometimes it seems it will never get better but it will and I can promise you it will. If you ever need to talk shoot me a message ill be glad to try and help.

[animal]

You can ALWAYS swing by my page i'll be very happy to talk to you suicide isn't the option you can talk to me or go to cures site talk to anybody that you can turst on the forms like me& snakeweed just please don't kill yourself:(

[TheCanadiandrome]

Moonlight I hope things will work out for you. Please look at getting help with dealing with things! Help is always out there, you just need to actually want to and put in the effort to try to look for it

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

Any news on Moonlight1102?

[BubblyShell22]

No, but I really hope he/she didn't commit suicide.

[Moonlight1102]

I'm fine. I've just been trying to stay off the internet so I wont get myself upset. And I have finals going on and I've been busy.

[Kunoichi_Haruko]

Good luck on your finals, Moonlight!

[BubblyShell22]

Glad to hear you're okay, Moonlight. Keep your chin up and good luck on your finals.

[Refractive Reflections]

Good to hear your doing better Moonlight. ...And yeah, spend less time on the internet if its going to upset you, especially with your finals. Best wishes on the finals!

[TheCanadiandrome]

I'm fine. I've just been trying to stay off the internet so I wont get myself upset. And I have finals going on and I've been busy.

good luck and all the best

[Moonlight1102]

My father has really crossed the line.

I am friends with someone on Skype, her username is Shauna K. (I need you know this so you can help her). She's lived a very troubled life with deaths in the family, her mother has cancer, her nieces are occasionally sick and hospitalized, she is abused, and she is bullied and school because of her weight. She's like a sister to me, and I'm always there for her everyday on chat. My father doesn't care. He cares more about me making straight A's (nothing BUT straight A's, anything below it and he's ashamed of me). The bastard has tried to hit me and abuse since I was a child, and now he's saying that I shouldn't care about Shauna, and that she's nothing but an "internet buddy" that I'll never see her in my life, and that school is number 1 and then when I'm 18 he'll kick me out. He says that I've ruined his life, despite the fact that he has treated me like crap (but occasionally forces himself to do things for me, only so that he has an excuse to hit me with the "I've done everything for you and this is how you repay me!!!". He doesn't even like doing this things for me.) He idolizes my brother, who's just like him, and they both talk about women and boobs and other sexist crap (my dad is 69 years old btw), and constantly invites women over to the house to **** in the other room, while he tells me to stay in my room and don't come out.

I want to kill the bastard so badly. People like him make me hate my life. He makes me so angry!!!

Why God! Why do you have to make this horrible man my father!

[snake]

My father has really crossed the line.

I am friends with someone on Skype, her username is Shauna K. (I need you know this so you can help her). She's lived a very troubled life with deaths in the family, her mother has cancer, her nieces are occasionally sick and hospitalized, she is abused, and she is bullied and school because of her weight. She's like a sister to me, and I'm always there for her everyday on chat. My father doesn't care. He cares more about me making straight A's (nothing BUT straight A's, anything below it and he's ashamed of me). The bastard has tried to hit me and abuse since I was a child, and now he's saying that I shouldn't care about Shauna, and that she's nothing but an "internet buddy" that I'll never see her in my life, and that school is number 1 and then when I'm 18 he'll kick me out. He says that I've ruined his life, despite the fact that he has treated me like crap (but occasionally forces himself to do things for me, only so that he has an excuse to hit me with the "I've done everything for you and this is how you repay me!!!". He doesn't even like doing this things for me.) He idolizes my brother, who's just like him, and they both talk about women and boobs and other sexist crap (my dad is 69 years old btw), and constantly invites women over to the house to **** in the other room, while he tells me to stay in my room and don't come out.

I want to kill the bastard so badly. People like him make me hate my life. He makes me so angry
Why God! Why do you have to make this horrible man my father!
Escape, run away, call the police, I feel so terrible right now. Honestly, don't kill yourself.
If he's really abusing you, call the police.

[Luigiperps]

One thing I learned this year is to be me, don't care about other people. That seems to work. Keep your head up high, be strong. Last year, no one would practically ever want to be seen with me. Now, I have tons of friends I talk to all the time and even a girlfriend. Ignore the bullies, and they will go away. It may be hard, it may seem impossible, but keep going, and you will prosper.

[snake]

One thing I learned this year is to be me, don't care about other people. That seems to work. Keep your head up high, be strong. Last year, no one would practically ever want to be seen with me. Now, I have tons of friends I talk to all the time and even a girlfriend. Ignore the bullies, and they will go away. It may be hard, it may seem impossible, but keep going, and you will prosper.

I was in that same situation last year, and everything's the same as your story! Well, except the girlfriend part.....But I'm getting there.

[Shreddhead]

Escape, run away, call the police, I feel so terrible right now. Honestly, don't kill yourself.
If he's really abusing you, call the police.

Dont run away, that would not help. The real world is tough for different reasons, the least of which is finding a job and a place to live. And dont kill yourself either. She may be an internet buddy, but the fact that you help her (and I assume talking to her helps you as well) means that it is a true friendship. If your father is truly beating you, I suggest calling the police or child protective services. -They are here to help in just these types of situations.

Now to say something you may not want to hear: When your father demands perfection, straight As, its not necessarily because he is ashamed or embarrassed of you. Usually this sort of behavior is his way of trying to give you the best possible future. Ok i know that sounds weird but stay with me. Parents see their children as an extension of themselves, almost a lob of clay that they want to mold into their "ideal" version of themselves. You can probably see this more clearly in the relationship your brother and dad have. But most often, children dont turn out the way their parents imagined, or planned they would. Parenthood is very tough, and some people adjust better to it than others. It is especially difficult for single parents who dont have someone to help share the load and rely on physically and emotionally. He wants you to get good grades because good grades translate to better options for the future.

Now I know this can be a very tough and emotional action, but have you tried having a serious sit down talk face to face with your father? Its not easy I know, But if you approach this as an "adult to adult" type conversation, you may be able to explain some of your problems and flush out some of the reasons he acts the way he does- and try to improve them.

This may or may not pertain to you, but if any of it sounds familiar, I hope you take my advice. Best of luck, and remember there are lots of people here on the drome willing to help talk you thru this.:)

[tmnt transformer]

My father has really crossed the line.

I am friends with someone on Skype, her username is Shauna K. (I need you know this so you can help her). She's lived a very troubled life with deaths in the family, her mother has cancer, her nieces are occasionally sick and hospitalized, she is abused, and she is bullied and school because of her weight. She's like a sister to me, and I'm always there for her everyday on chat. My father doesn't care. He cares more about me making straight A's (nothing BUT straight A's, anything below it and he's ashamed of me). The bastard has tried to hit me and abuse since I was a child, and now he's saying that I shouldn't care about Shauna, and that she's nothing but an "internet buddy" that I'll never see her in my life, and that school is number 1 and then when I'm 18 he'll kick me out. He says that I've ruined his life, despite the fact that he has treated me like crap (but occasionally forces himself to do things for me, only so that he has an excuse to hit me with the "I've done everything for you and this is how you repay me!!!". He doesn't even like doing this things for me.) He idolizes my brother, who's just like him, and they both talk about women and boobs and other sexist crap (my dad is 69 years old btw), and constantly invites women over to the house to **** in the other room, while he tells me to stay in my room and don't come out.

I want to kill the bastard so badly. People like him make me hate my life. He makes me so angry!!!

Why God! Why do you have to make this horrible man my father!

Dude, I think your father needs mental help, You sound like a nice guy, and killing yourself or someone else will NOT solve the problem.

[Katie]

Teenagers.......

Ya know, when I was in middle school, everything in my life was a major drama. The zit that popped up over night, the movie my parents wouldn't let me go to at midnight with everyone else, not being able to date like everyone else, not being able to have all the newest clothes and electronics because we were poor, then in high school I couldn't have a driver's license until I could afford the car and the insurance. And I had to pay rent upon my graduation....... the list goes on.

I hated my parents and they were soooooooooo ruining my life! But guess what? When I got a little older I realized that valuable lessons were being had. I was not owed anything and if I wanted something I had to work hard for it. Looking back with more adult eyes....things weren't as bad as my teenage self thought.

You might not like how things are, but I guarantee you are learning life lessons. As for your internet friend.....parents don't get a lot of the internet socialization stuff, but make sure you are taking care of your business before getting involved online. And make sure this girl is legit. A lot of what you just described about her......that would throw up red flags for me in an internet conversation.

[Peanut]

Unless your father is seriously abusing you, and I mean physically laying into you in a rage fueled by pure hatred, sadistic pleasure or alcohol, and not reprimanding you for stupid behaviour, you need to stop whining. I'm serious. As someone who has been through very real depression, not brought on by childish tantrums and teenage arrogance, but by mental instability, it irks me to see teenagers cry suicide over bullsh*t nonsense.

Ignore what I said if your father is truly abusive. In which case stop coming to a Ninja Turtles forum to decry him and instead call someone who can actually help you.

Your internet friend also sounds suspect. Don't lose your sh*t over someone you don't even know and especially don't argue with your father over the state of this persons life, real or pretend. Him telling you not to act jacked over someone you've never met isn't out of line.

[Vivi]

Unless your father is seriously abusing you, and I mean physically laying into you in a rage fueled by pure hatred, sadistic pleasure or alcohol, and not reprimanding you for stupid behaviour, you need to stop whining. I'm serious. As someone who has been through very real depression, not brought on by childish tantrums and teenage arrogance, but by mental instability, it irks me to see teenagers cry suicide over bullsh*t nonsense.

Ignore what I said if your father is truly abusive. In which case stop coming to a Ninja Turtles forum to decry him and instead call someone who can actually help you.

Your internet friend also sounds suspect. Don't lose your sh*t over someone you don't even know and especially don't argue with your father over the state of this persons life, real or pretend. Him telling you not to act jacked over someone you've never met isn't out of line.

He's being hit, I'm pretty sure that's abuse.

[Peanut]

And you know how? You have no idea the amount of teenagers I've been in a room with who claim to have been "hit and abused" and have no clue how serious that accusation is, or what that actually means. It doesn't mean your dad slapped you up side of your fat head for being a dumb ass. I don't agree with hitting a kid to teach them a lesson, but sometimes that's what a kid needs to straighten them the f*ck out. The problem there being that years of teaching kids that any physical contact from a parent is considered abuse has warped the very serious nature of it. Again, I could be wrong in this case, but I would like to see him straight up say "My dad BEATS ME," and then I'd take action myself.

Reading between the lines on most of this kids posts (lately, because when he joined he certainly wasn't like this) it doesn't seem like much aside from the typical teenage cry for help, but of course, I could be wrong. What I see is the "I have no friends," "My school life sucks," "My parents don't care about the things I care about," complaints. I've seen so much of this stuff be completely false that it makes me an extreme skeptic about it. It's usually the ones who don't ask for help that are in the worst situations. Again, I can attest.

[Vivi]

And you know how?

And that's my point. Your information is from what, 'reading between the lines'? It's not a competition to see who's been the most abused, and that only those who exceed an extreme threshold of pain are worthy of help. I'm sorry for the things you've personally been through, but if someone is reaching out it's in no way helpful to slap their hand away.

And getting more to the topic: Moonlight, I hope you've been finding the assistance you need to get through your issues. Truly, buddy, it does get better.

[Cure]

but if someone is reaching out it's in no way helpful to slap their hand away.


That's the part that makes me skeptical. If there is real trouble being had, there are better ways of seeking help than posting here.

Like, a lot better.

[Peanut]

Yeah, no. I was totally making it a competition. You're so right.

[Hannurdock]

The best thing to do is phone a specialised helpline. They deal with this stuff every day and can advise you on a plan of action. All things are not hopeless, they just feel that way right now.

1-800-273-TALK (8255) (US)

If you are in the UK then phone Childline if you are still a minor or the Samaritans.

If your father has actually hit you - raised his hand to you in anger - then you do need to get help. There are people out there who have made it their life's mission to help people like you, grab the opportunity with both hands.

Just because you're a teenager doesn't mean you're problems aren't genuine. If it is abuse, let people who specialise in handling these things do it. Never try to deal with it alone; get help.

If the problem is bullying at school / college - then I understand how desperate that can make you feel. I felt like running away when I was bullied solidly for two years at secondary school. The feeling of worthlessness and shame was almost too much to bear - I stood up to the bullies eventually and won respect from them. But the mental scars are still there from what they did. Again, the only solution isn't to die - it's to get help. A burden shared is a burden halved. You'll feel better by just getting it out to another person.

Good luck and I hope the situation is resolved for you soon.

You're not alone.

[BubblyShell22]

If this is true abuse, get help. Call the police or whatever. But if it's not, and your father is just trying to make you into a better person, just deal with it. Yeah, you may not agree with what your parents think, but in the end, they just want what's best for you. Maybe your dad is acting this way due to stress as that can happen. He doesn't really hate you and probably doesn't mean the things he says. He's just upset and under pressure, so it causes him to say things he doesn't mean. I think the good grades thing is more about wanting you to do well, though I don't think anyone should be angry if you get a B or C. Now, a D or F I can see getting mad at, but some parents don't look at it that way. Just do your best and show your dad that you are worth something. That's all you can do.

But if it IS serious, get help immediately. Don't wait.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

So are your father and brother scholars themselves, or did you get away with all the brains in the family?

[Ecto Jedi]

That's the part that makes me skeptical. If there is real trouble being had, there are better ways of seeking help than posting here.

Like, a lot better.

Sometimes these other options seem very far away indeed. That's all that needs saying.

[Moonlight1102]

That's the part that makes me skeptical. If there is real trouble being had, there are better ways of seeking help than posting here.

Like, a lot better.

I'm at home and I'm monitored whenever I call someone. The quickest place I could think of is here.

And thanks for the help folks.

[Moonlight1102]

And you know how? You have no idea the amount of teenagers I've been in a room with who claim to have been "hit and abused" and have no clue how serious that accusation is, or what that actually means. It doesn't mean your dad slapped you up side of your fat head for being a dumb ass. I don't agree with hitting a kid to teach them a lesson, but sometimes that's what a kid needs to straighten them the f*ck out. The problem there being that years of teaching kids that any physical contact from a parent is considered abuse has warped the very serious nature of it. Again, I could be wrong in this case, but I would like to see him straight up say "My dad BEATS ME," and then I'd take action myself.

Reading between the lines on most of this kids posts (lately, because when he joined he certainly wasn't like this) it doesn't seem like much aside from the typical teenage cry for help, but of course, I could be wrong. What I see is the "I have no friends," "My school life sucks," "My parents don't care about the things I care about," complaints. I've seen so much of this stuff be completely false that it makes me an extreme skeptic about it. It's usually the ones who don't ask for help that are in the worst situations. Again, I can attest.

You are only making me more ashamed of my actions and of my illness, not helping. I haven't had it as worse as you but I've been told this sort of thing by many people. I try to believe there were right and that I'm just a whiny good for nothing, but something worse always happens. If I'm truly whining then I have only strengthened the idea of me never growing up and being a child for the rest of my life. I am apparently the moron here for trying to seek help, because clearly there's nothing wrong with my situation in your eyes. That's how I feel when people say this to me.

[Katie]

I'm at home and I'm monitored whenever I call someone. The quickest place I could think of is here.

And thanks for the help folks.

So, out of curiosity, have you done something that made your dad decide to start monitoring your calls? Like.....did you give money or anything to your internet friend? Cause if you did that, as a parent, i'd monitor you to.

I mean, no offense, but you are still a kid. Sometimes kids do dumb things that make parents want to keep closer tabs on them

Is that it? Did your dad get pissed and yell at you cause you gave money to this chick causing you to be upset because she's your "friend"?

[Moonlight1102]

So, out of curiosity, have you done something that made your dad decide to start monitoring your calls? Like.....did you give money or anything to your internet friend? Cause if you did that, as a parent, i'd monitor you to.

I mean, no offense, but you are still a kid. Sometimes kids do dumb things that make parents want to keep closer tabs on them

Is that it? Did your dad get pissed and yell at you cause you gave money to this chick causing you to be upset because she's your "friend"?

I never gave her anything. My dad just monitors me because he doesn't want me saying bad things about him to anyone else.

[BubblyShell22]

And you think disparaging him on a forum is any better? He might get wind of that, too. Just try to look at it from his perspective and try not to think badly of him. He does love you as any parent would. Maybe there's more to it.

[Sage Ninja]

you really get into sticky territory when one starts putting varying degrees of "whats legitimate pain or problems" and whats not to warrant emotional break down.

Sometimes I find people, especially ones that have been through tough sh*t in their life sometimes develop a bit of arrogance that unless they feel like what someone else has experienced is worse or on par to what they've gone through in life they tend to dismiss other peoples emotional pain as just whining or evidence that they are just weak individuals. Sometimes these people have a tough time sympathizing with these people because they think, that is no where near as bad as what I've gone through, this person is just pathetic. They never consider that maybe that persons pain is just as legitimate as their own and their emotional response is valid.

Three years ago my older sister was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend's best friend and he took his side over hers and basically said she brought it onto herself. The circle of friends my sister hangs out with were divided between those who took her side and those who took his side. You would not believe the vicious things that were said to her by her so called friends who took his side. Her boyfriend just kept saying "you cheated on me with my boy" (because he said it was consensual) never mind that he never considered that if it was "consensual" that meant his "boy" that he was so defending so much betrayed him too. He was more concerned with protecting his "boy" from getting a rape accusation thrown at him than really looking into it closely. And her "friends" that didn't believe my sister were saying things like "how can you ruin a guys life by saying he sexually assaulted you and bringing this court."

During all this crap my older sister did make an attempt on her life. It was horrible, because when it happened I was home alone with her in the shower getting ready for work, and I didn't even know what was going on until my cell phone went off and it was my older sister's best friend telling me that she (my older sister) texted her saying she took pills and that I needed to get to her right away and that she had already called the police. I couldn't get to her because my sister had locked her door. The paramedics came and broke down the door and got her out... I was in the house with her but someone several blocks away had to inform me that my sister, who was in the same house as me, who was only two doors away from me, was trying to kill herself. And she was the one that called the police, because I didn't know what the hell was going on just two doors away from me. I can't describe how all that made me feel and my parents made me feel worse about it.

And yeah, when it came out that my sister got to that point where she tried to kill her self all her "friends" that were giving her crap suddenly put on the righteous indignation rant similar to the one Leo656 friend gave to him and I was shocked that after what they said to her they would have the gall to pull the "if you succeeded in killing your self we would never forgive you for taking your self away" crap. As if their actions and harassment hadn't been a huge factor in why she got to that point. I'm proud to say my sister gave them the biggest "why you suck" speech. Maybe it's because my sister survived that I feel I wouldn't have blamed her if she had succeeded in killing her self, but if she had, I think I would feel more anger and hate toward her stupid friends that turned on her when she needed their support.

I know I can say this because she lived. but I do know that if she had died it would have ruined my life, and damaged my relationship with my parents and younger sister. I know they would have blamed me because I was home alone with her, it wouldn't have mattered that I was in the shower when it happened. Maybe I would have felt angry at her if she had succeeded and I was blamed for it, but I do understand her feelings and why she driven to that. There are friends that were on her side that have stopped talking to her for a while because of what she tried to do, but I can't help but feel they are being a little selfish. No one really wanted to see things from her point of view. Maybe I'm giving her too much slack because she is my sister and I love her, but she didn't do what she tried to do because she had an off day, she was sexually assaulted and her boyfriend and several of her friends sided with her rapist. Yeah she had people on her side but sometimes even when there are people on your side that isn't enough. I can't get over how self righteous some people can be and unsympathetic to others pain and what motivates their emotional responses.

[The Stryker]

So I guess everyone here has decided to miss the point of Peanut's post? I miss that meeting?

[CyberCubed]

From reading through this thread I never realized how many people here are seriously depressed or suffer from ADHD or anxiety or whatever. Or have family members with these issues.

[Type 97 Chi-ha]

So I guess everyone here has decided to miss the point of Peanut's post? I miss that meeting?

Is the point that Peanut thinks Moonlight1102 isn't being straight with us? I confess that I don't know Moonlight1102 from Adam, and if others have more about this person, I'm all ears.

[Andrew NDB]

Suicide notes on the Technodrome forums. Wowzers.

[Moonlight1102]

I've never been able to control my anger. Tonight, it just got at it's worst.

I failed my 11th grade. I didn't get an award, I didn't get to met my friends, I failed. I got so angry that I took it out on my mother and Shauna. I went spastic and said the absolute horrible things to them. Right after I went insane against my mother on the phone, she said to me that she failed me as a mother, and that was it. I took it rage out on Shauna, and now she refuses to talk to me now. I pleaded to her and tried to apologize, but it wasn't enough. As if I needed more grief, I lost the trust of my best friend Kieran, who now thinks I'm a strange person and I'm beyond help.

I can't ever change. I'll forever be stuck as a child who lashes out at his friends like a sociopath. I lost my best friends and the love of my mother. Now I have to live with that and my father. I have no hope. I'm done.

[Sage Ninja]

is there any way you can see the counselor at your school? Surely he or she could get you in touch with people to help you. If you are getting to the point where you are lashing out at people and alienating them you may be that much closer to lashing out at someone physically. Don't let it escalate to that point, because if you think you have troubles now they will seem like good times if you get your self in trouble for hurting someone.

Go talk to your school counselor. Do it tomorrow.

[zkarlette]

No matter what your mother tells you I can assure you she loves you. You need to understand that parents are regular people they do make mistakes and make bad choices and what not, dealing with teenagers is hard specially if you know you have some anger issues. I hope you understand that nothing is worth taking your life for and that all this problems Will pass even if they seem like the end of the world at the moment. if you set your mind to it,Eventually you won't have to live with your father and you will have a chance to live a long life by your own terms,believe in yourself and try to better yourself no matter what is going on around you I know it's hard but everybody struggles with something in their lifetime, it's just life, nobody gets a free ride everybody has some sot of problem that they are dealing with, but it's ok it is normal to have some good times and some bad times while you stay positive.you are so young you have so much life ahead of you you better make the most of it because you only get one.

[Refractive Reflections]

Like Sage Ninja said, Moonlight talk to a counselor about it before school ends. The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself if your emotions are escalating this bad. ...And explain to the counselor about your academic hardship, friendship difficulties, and your temper. At least the counselor can help provide some solutions/assistance rather than you suffering on your own without others knowing.

[BubblyShell22]

How did you fail eleventh grade? Is it just because you didn't get an award? If so, that's not failure. Heck, I didn't get perfect attendance all the time because I always got sick at least once during the school year, but I didn't let that deter me. As long as you received good grades and passing grades, you aren't a failure. Maybe your mom feels this way because she divorced your dad and hasn't been able to be there for you as a mother should. I think you really need to look at the situation before lashing out like that.

And I agree that you need help and need to talk to someone. That's the best thing you can do.

[Voltron]

Heck, I didn't get perfect attendance all the time because I always got sick at least once during the school year

It must've taken some serious will power not to eat a bullet after THAT disappointment.

[Impervium Gem]

Sometimes it's very difficult to have a conversation in a heated moment. In these moments it's best to wait until you have calmed down a bit. There are ways out of this, other than leaving your life behind, Moonlight. It's not a solution. I remember when I was at school I felt so terrible that I was considering to kill myself as well. Today I'm glad I didn't, because of the wonderful people I've met, lovely experiences I've had and lots of enjoyable fiction stuff that makes me smile. And it's today too that I understand what I did to my family because of these thoughts they knew about. Suicide does nothing else than destroy someone else's lives. You'd miss so many amazing experiences and people, believe me. They would miss you. It's not worth it.

You don't have to deal with things alone anymore. It's your right to get help in that or any other matter and getting help is NOT a sign of weakness. If someone might speak to your dad about how you feel, it might change something for you at home, like a school counselor. I'm sure they can provide you with tips against your anger, too.

And I truly believe your mom and friend still love you, that they will forgive you that outburst. Humans make mistakes, no matter if you're a child, teenager or adult. Humans are not perfect, nor will they ever be. Sometimes what was said came as quite the shock so it can happen that an apology isn't accepted the very same day. It's going to be all right, you'll see. :)

Oh, with me I noticed that I'm much better in expressing myself by writing. So should you have trouble with speaking about it, it's totally fine to write down your thoughts and hand them to the counselor. He or she is there to help, really.

[MadStar]

DONT DO IT!!!!! life is so much more dont let them get you down i was going to kill myself some years ago too but i changed my mind and so should you life is beautiful im sure its just a phase in your life its going to get better Moonlight1102

[Peanut]

It must've taken some serious will power not to eat a bullet after THAT disappointment.

I almost died.

[BubblyShell22]

It must've taken some serious will power not to eat a bullet after THAT disappointment.

I wasn't disappointed about it at all, and I never felt like a failure because of it. I still got good grades in school, so it didn't matter if I didn't get some type of award or anything.

[Moonlight1102]

You're right. I need to talk to someone professional instead of forum users. I'll talk to my school counselor next Monday. Thanks everyone.

I'm still a TMNT fan, but I've been very behind on the episodes. I need to catch up.

[AT-Man]

I'm starting to miss school, it was so easy. Time makes everything better. I mean, EVERYTHING.

[BubblyShell22]

You're right. I need to talk to someone professional instead of forum users. I'll talk to my school counselor next Monday. Thanks everyone.

I'm still a TMNT fan, but I've been very behind on the episodes. I need to catch up.

Good for you. That's what you need to do.

[Katie]

*sigh* teenagers.

So....your dad hates you.....your internet friend went from being like a sister to hating you.....you failed a grade....all within what? A week?

And you feel like you're gonnna be a kid forever.

I know a kid like you. My nephew. Constantly acts out so everyone pays attention to him. If all eyes aren't on him...he goes all goofy and starts saying stuff and doing stuff that he knows is crazy.

Here's a tip. Change. If you don't want to be childish, don't. All this BS you post is childish and attention seeking. And the more you post in this thread, the more I'm sure of it.

My nephew graduated kindergarten this week. Hopefully he'll grow out of this crap soon.

[TheCanadiandrome]

I've never been able to control my anger. Tonight, it just got at it's worst.

I failed my 11th grade. I didn't get an award, I didn't get to met my friends, I failed. I got so angry that I took it out on my mother and Shauna. I went spastic and said the absolute horrible things to them. Right after I went insane against my mother on the phone, she said to me that she failed me as a mother, and that was it. I took it rage out on Shauna, and now she refuses to talk to me now. I pleaded to her and tried to apologize, but it wasn't enough. As if I needed more grief, I lost the trust of my best friend Kieran, who now thinks I'm a strange person and I'm beyond help.

I can't ever change. I'll forever be stuck as a child who lashes out at his friends like a sociopath. I lost my best friends and the love of my mother. Now I have to live with that and my father. I have no hope. I'm done.

I truely hope things will turn around for you. i really do. please get help, it's out there

[CyberCubed]

I don't see what's wrong with feeling like a kid especially at your age. I still feel like a teenager and I'm in my late 20's now.

Nothing wrong with it.

[BubblyShell22]

It's not the feeling like a kid that Katie's talking about. It's the way Moonlight is acting. He needs to act better and be better. Then maybe things will turn around. I agree that a lot of this stuff just seems off base to me and a little trivial as well. There are a lot of people who have worse problems than Moonlight, and I think the problem is that he's not handling it the way he should and is just complaining about it and threatening to kill himself.

And, Katie, I'm sure your nephew will outgrow that stage. Most kids do, but if he doesn't, he might need to get a good kick in the rear. My BF's nephew is in kindergarten now, but he doesn't act that way. He's actually a pretty decent kid for the most part.

[Moonlight1102]

I'm feeling a lot better now. I called my mom and talked to her while my dad was out of the house, and she helped me through my problems.

I really think this thread should be closed. I was dumb to even create this thread in the first. I guess I overreacted and so angry that I made an empty threat. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm a very sensitive individual and I can't control what I say sometimes.

You all must think I'm the weirdest most immature person here now. If you want me to leave here, I understand. :(

[Powder]

I'm feeling a lot better now. I called my mom and talked to her while my dad was out of the house, and she helped me through my problems.

I really think this thread should be closed. I was dumb to even create this thread in the first. I guess I overreacted and so angry that I made an empty threat. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm a very sensitive individual and I can't control what I say sometimes.

You all must think I'm the weirdest most immature person here now. If you want me to leave here, I understand. :(

First part- Good! Great. Glad you're feeling better, that you've got support, and realize you've made mistakes and can own up to them. Good for you, really. It's mature and responsible of you to take a look at yourself, identify the problem, and try to move forward. Gotta just keep a close eye on yourself to avoid repeating the past.

Last sentence- Two steps forward, one step back. You go from showing strength to seeking pity just a few sentences later. Screw that noise man, being worried about what other people think of you is what brought you down in the first place. If you yourself feel weird & immature & aren't a fan of those character traits, then fix it for YOU, not some randoms on an internet forum.

[TheCanadiandrome]

I'm feeling a lot better now. I called my mom and talked to her while my dad was out of the house, and she helped me through my problems.

I really think this thread should be closed. I was dumb to even create this thread in the first. I guess I overreacted and so angry that I made an empty threat. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm a very sensitive individual and I can't control what I say sometimes.

You all must think I'm the weirdest most immature person here now. If you want me to leave here, I understand. :(

Hell no! I'd be lying if I told you I've not fealt the same in your position myself dude. Please don't leave the forums, but do please get help if u can. Hell I'm here if u just wanna pm someone and vent

[That Matt Guy]

Man, the Technodrome is a lightning rod for people who want to kill themselves.

[愛]

Closing at the request of the poster.