Tazatello's shopping spree!

[tormentedvagrant]

Today I went to many palces to fulfill my shopping/erand quota. One of the first things i did was go to KB toys (#1) and bought Leo and Don's RPG sets. I put on donnie's mask and assembled his bo, thus becoming Tazatello!!!! I travled the mall as this ninja creature, spinning my bo, carring bags like a hobo, eating pretzles... the usual ninja stuff. I then went to KB Toys (#2) and picked up another ninja turtles backpack. It was here that I discovered a money laundering racket, The prices on the 12" turtles were hiked in price!!! Now this means they were selling well, but then it dawned on me, the good turtle fans would need to pay for this with MONEY, spending more of their money that they mooched off their mom. This could not happen! so I made quick work of their higher priced stickers, that had been carelessly placed over the lower more holy price tags. Thats where it got tricky for just then Mitchel attacked with his dasterdly catch phrase "Hi, can I help you with something?" I had to beat him and not make a scene, so I wiped out his memory with a wave of my bo "Oh, no thank you, I'm fine right now." I said, the fool was wiped clean, and walked away. I can see it now, a cashier rings up a 12" Donatello and says in a dispicably cute voice "That'll be $26.52," and the mother will reply "but the sticker says $21" Knowing that their skeem had be foiled, they will be forced to do A PRICE AJUSTMENT!!! I knew that mirage would never see any of this extra cash as they along with playmates, sell at a standard rate to all retailers. Sham on you KB!!!! more is on the way, my day had only just begun.

[tormentedvagrant]

Then it was on to sears, *blah* and other rickita rackita.......... then KB Toys (#3) were it was bitter sweet to see the shelves had been drained of their turtly goodness. I was glad to see that there was an abundance of turtle fans in the area, but that fear hit me, what if I can never find another turtles toy again? what about little Jimmy with the crooked leg and the lazy eye, who, more then anything wants to oun a Casey Jones before he dies of a bug infestation in his brain. THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN! I saut to correct this maddness, leaping atop the counter I addressed a boy about the lack of turtles on the shelves, I could tell he was scared, for he knew I represented justice, but it turns out he didnt actualy work there. So I then made my inquiry to a yound lady named Yevonne, but "What ever is in isle 2" was her reply I could tell she knew there were none to be found, and I shared my matching knolwlage with her. It was an outrage, they not being well stocked in the back with the most popular items since the late eighties to mid nintys (that being their former selves of course) I made my demand while slowly twirling my bo, "You will order more ninja turtles or you will pay for your crimes aginst humanity! Stock up quickly, or you will pay..... wait I said that already.... I'LL BE BACK!" (To make it clear that was in no way related to the terminator 1, 2 or 3 except for the fact that it consists of I'll, be and back in such an order) Then I headed home so that I might obtain batteries to strike fear into the hearts of my advisarys with my suround sound dolby digital sound effects!!!! And again I was off, figurung I would have better encounters at toys r us. I was off..... stay tuned........

[Psycho Da Turtle]

This just keeps getting better and better...what happened next?

[tormentedvagrant]

~~Side note: this is a true story, I assume what I don't KNOW persay, like the person buying the toy could be a dad, you know im not perfect~~

So it was off to Toys r us, but my fx got the best of me, tapping, and banging and twirling in the "battle shell" (my moms honda oddesy mini van, with full rotating missel fire) I neglected to notice the fule gauges were down, an emergancy stop was required. I only had one option.... the nearist Shell station, where else can a ninja get some self serv fule intake for his mode of transportation, while still hiding his existince by practicing his ninja skills????????? The station was filled with shady figures, you know the folks, constintly plagued by bad lighting. Either that or they were forign, good people either way. I removed my mask and cleverly discuised myself as a "human" thus paying and pumping in secret, then resurfacing my true self to slide across the hood, and speed away. Did I screw the gas cap all the way? I don't care for I, live on the edge! Toy store, victory!!! They had the sports turtles, it called for a display of my arts. But, EGAD, I had to buy my mom that lucky bamboo at the Keyosk in the mall, major funding shortage! "2 leo, 2 mike, 2 don, 1 raph, ONE it must be mine!" Only being able to purchace one at the moment I sought out to hide the others I required. Ha Ha, my plan was flawless, I hid them behind those pregnant barbie dolls, it was fool proof. Little girls don't want barbies AND turtles, if it is so that they need a barbie then they have been lost beyond the point of return. The parents, this is the splenda in my erbal tea (i swear its just like real sugar) they would never approve of this union of a reptile and a woman. expecily if theirs a baby involved! First off, if they are agenst the doll being pregnant they won't go near the "devil toy" then, if they are ok with the baby surely they would not like the human/reptile cross breeding. What kind of example would they be setting?? Breath freely my friends, i have insured their avilability! Home for dinner, then target (#1)......

[Kid Icarus]

:lol:

[tormentedvagrant]

I made a phone call to one of my informents who knew someone on the inside, someone who knew of the inner workings of the target empire. I was informed that their sorce would only be their for a short time, and so I left to see what I could learn. I asked a lady whos name i did not catch, if Govind Kumar was still on duty. "Who? never herd of him." blast she was not willing to cooperate! Was sher lieing to protect the secrets of target or was she just bitter and old due to the fact that the dow Jones is on the rise and she sold all her stock months ago? No matter, i poisoned her mind any way, "well he is new so mabye you havent met him yet." Now she would no longer be able to think on anything but the fact that there may be an employe she did not know. I could tell she was one of those people with nothing to be proud of except for the fact that she knew EVERYONE she worked with. No more sleeping and eating for her, she must now ponder his existance. Her ego being throughly crushed I moved on to the toys Isle.....

[Reznorite420]

TA: I think the best place for you right now is a padded cell... :lol:

[cqb101]

:lol: :lol: :lol: This is great! I can't wait for more!

[SkaterMike]

:tlol: This is hilarous, the best thing I've read in a long time. What about Wal Mart?

[cqb101]

Shouldn't this be in toy discussion?

[tormentedvagrant]

Shouldn't this be in toy discussion?

I dont think this really belongs any where, its just different.

[tormentedvagrant]

The toy seclection was a mighty one! My informant, Govind, had gone for the day, I was too late. I figured it best to head to target (#2) It was not long before I bumped into a friend, Lori, who as it happens, is a member of he target family. We discussed quantum physics and the meaning of life for a bit, then I made a shocking discovery. There is feirce competicion between each branch of the target cindikit. I could only imagin this was due to the closing of the Hoboken branch leaving Johnny the Mongoose, a manager, looking for a new post for bizness. It was only natural that he would wish to work at the target with the best seclection of ninja turtles toys. I made it my job to judge this wadging war, and went to the turtles section, their merchandice was well organized and cosisted of a greater varity of items. I was pleased untill I saw a Casey Jones figure in a damaged box!!! Surely Little Jimmys head with explode with a wave of roaches, spiders and wasps if he were to recive such a thing. This made me quite angry, for each item should be handled with care and love, their bubbles washed every 4-6 hours with windex and the cards wiped with a swiffer sweeper. Clearly this was not the cace and had to lower their grade do to blatent neglagance. In seach of rejoining my friend, she had vanished from her register! Kidnapped, no doubt! There was no sign of her, they had even turned her light out as some omenus symbol. This could in no way be just her taking a 15 min break as she said she wanted to, no this was far worse. So I went home and took a nap. The End........... or is it?
yea...... it is.
Thats all I did that day, but what of my next adventure? Stay tuned for the next episode of "Tazatello."

[Skeletoncrew]

:tlol: This is hilarous, the best thing I've read in a long time. What about Wal Mart?

Wal-Mart is a den of corruption and foul pestilence. A pox of running boils upon the tender portions of all that shop there! May Skeletoncrew's Curse fall upon all who contribute to their "shareholder value"! May the smiley face contract ebola and melt into a heap of festering ichor!

[Dr. Doom]

That would be nice.

[Raven]

dude those are great :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[tormentedvagrant]

and its true too...... at least for the most part, all charecters are real, and I am contrary to popular belief sane. :thyper: :tthumbsu:

[Kid Icarus]

Wal-Mart is a den of corruption and foul pestilence. A pox of running boils upon the tender portions of all that shop there! May Skeletoncrew's Curse fall upon all who contribute to their "shareholder value"! May the smiley face contract ebola and melt into a heap of festering ichor!

*cheers* they are t3h 3v!1z!!!!111 (read: they woulden't hire me 'cause I'm 17)

[Skeletoncrew]

Trust me, you do NOT want to be hired by Wal-mart. They treat their employees like crap.

[SkaterMike]

I was just wondering if Tazatello had any adventures at wal mart. I also heard bad things about wal mart too. Did you know you have to sing a song in the morning to get the 'employee moral' going? Thank god I didn't get a job there. You guys don't have anything against Pizza Hut do you :tgrin: ?

[Skeletoncrew]

I'm proud to say that I've NEVER done the Wal-mart cheer, though they tried to break me. :sick:

And no, I don't have any issues with Pizza Hut. :D

[Kid Icarus]

Did you know you have to sing a song in the morning to get the 'employee moral' going?

You have GOT to be kidding me :o . Now I'm SO glad I was too young to get a job there. I. Don't. Sing. Well... unless I'm in the car :P .

[SkaterMike]

Yeah, Wal Mart's pretty bad. Unfortunately it's the only place I can get the new turtle toys in this poor excuse for a city that I live in.

[tormentedvagrant]

thats very sad, to hear about your wal marty troubles. I have not yet made my way there but it looks like I, Tazatello, must plan an attach on Wal mart.
Pizza Hut is filled with goodness, where else can you find such a pan pizza? dont answer that..... and they had turtles promotions back in the day.

[Donatello007]

Tazatello, have you made an attack on Wal-Mart yet?