Sneak Peek At Turtles’ Hyper-Realistic CGI Genitals

[Zulithe]

The Onion :)

Make sure to watch the video!

http://www.theonion.com/video/comiccon-exclusive-michael-bay-gives-fans-sneak-pe,36528/

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

cant breath...speechless...:lol::tlol:

[MrTMNT2012]

What. The. F#CK?!

LOOOOOOL :lol: :lol:

[CyberCubed]

Disgusting nostrils!

[beeshaw]

Holy **** that was hilarious! Shredder!!!

[Radical Raph]

Not green enough.

[Midnight Mutant]

LOL! Oh my God, I about pissed myself! Oh Onion news, you never fail me!

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

is it wrong i waiting for that wave of people who think its real

[Lou 500]

http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6pequt15v1ry10fwo1_250.gif

I NEVER WANTED THIS

[JoshDA7X]

This is brilliant. I love it went they take complainers for a ride!

[Candy Kappa]

haha, awesome.

[Gotacca]

WTF did I just watch?! :teek: That's gonna be stuck in my head for awhile.

[IndigoErth]

I'm ashamed I even clicked a thread with this title... Now do I dare look.


Edit: :teek: Holy mother of.. for the love of..

On come on now, you know one of them - probably a certain one of them - is bound to have a piercing, how unrealistic. :lol: (Steroids.. they do things.)


Just a handy suggestion.. we should prob stay away from Tumblr and whatnot for a while. lol

We are a sad, sad, perverted, frisky little species... And just like that the undies thread is very innocent.

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

Erm...................

[RAPHAEL#1fan]

LOL at work and people looking at me like wtf.

[GildedLily]

I know it's a joke, and I shouldn't be getting in on the perverted ness, but the video won't even load for me. Figures. :p

Obviously a doozy of a joke.

Edit: Oh my god, wtf did I watch?!? LMFAO.

So others are pervs regarding Turtles than some of us. And now we know why, there are undies on Raph :p

[alliance]

my volume is off so I couldn't hear anything, there really not gonna show us genitals during the film are they???

serious question

[Autbot_Benz]

my volume is off so I couldn't hear anything, there really not gonna show us genitals during the film are they???

serious question

If they did that the movie would be Rated R or X

The turtle genitial stuff is FAKE the onion is a satire site

[Rooish]

How much time and money was put into this??

[Candy Kappa]

my volume is off so I couldn't hear anything, there really not gonna show us genitals during the film are they???

serious question

yes, it's totally legit. they have like people that work on the movie in the video.


totally legit.

[Shark_Blade]

All I ever needed.

[Derrico13]

So.....let's get customizing!

[Radical Raph]

So.....let's get customizing!
Yea, where are all the gifs?

[IndigoErth]

Damn you Bay, why you overdo everything!


Ok, new theory, this is really why they get taken hostage. Human envy and trying to figure out exactly what got those results.

[Sighphi]

I like that each turtle has their own unique penis to match their personality.
Otherwise we would not be able to tell which turtle penis we were looking at.

[Radical Raph]

I like that each turtle has their own unique penis to match their personality.
Otherwise we would not be able to tell which turtle penis we were looking at.
Donatello's needs to be wearing glasses though.

[Shark_Blade]

Shouldn't they all be circumsized? The way of the ninja tbh.

[IndigoErth]

As well as phallic power symbol tattoos. And still can't believe they'd not think of piercings, lack of tattoos and piercings have ruined my childhood.

[Netkeeper]

I am in awe. Thank you, Onion.

[Galactus]

I wish they hadn't made it so damned obvious that it was a spoof. It would have been funnier if they'd played it straight.

[BubblyShell22]

That was f*cking hilarious.

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

I wish they hadn't made it so damned obvious that it was a spoof. It would have been funnier if they'd played it straight.

ive noticed my usual friends who dont read the onion that dont realize its a joke...its amazingly hilarious

[IndigoErth]

How could people even begin to think it's legit?:lol: I mean sure.. that's what they've been quickly working on to finish up, they decided to edit in massive Turtle junk at the last minute. Of course! :lol: It was necessary to bring it up to level with something I read about that's supposedly in the new Transformers movie.

[Xav]

Holy **** that was hilarious! Shredder!!!Ironically, that's still a more traditional looking Shredder than the one in the movie.

[marcelangelo]

hahaha, thanks for sharing!this was really funny;)..

[Leolead]

What is everyone talking about? (i was busy)

[Galactus]

ive noticed my usual friends who dont read the onion that dont realize its a joke...its amazingly hilarious

Hey is Bay gave us Transformer testicles is that far fetched he's give us Turtle peens? That's why this really works.

[IndigoErth]

That's seriously gonna mess with their precision in battle though, they need to find some jockstraps to contain those things.

[Leo656]

Oh....... My.

[goodfellaray]

I'll be there first in line on opening day for this.

[MrTMNT2012]

Oh....... My.

Was I supposed to read that in George Takei's voice? Cause I kinda did....

[IndigoErth]

Just had a horrifying thought. (Or to some it may be quite pleasing.)

This... in Digital 3D. :o:teek:

Nothing like almost being hit in the face with your favorite Turtle's... never mind, I'll stop now.

[Leo656]

Was I supposed to read that in George Takei's voice? Cause I kinda did....

That's Acceptable. yes.

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

i just happen to find some comments on this video via tumblr.....i dont know if i should be afraid, disgusted , or just ashamed

[IndigoErth]

:lol: Well that's just voluntary emotional scarring right there. I'll avoid that place for a while... I tried to suggest avoiding it, so nobody go blaming me if you go wandering off that way to take a peek, every Turtle fan for themselves. LOL

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

its all your fault Indigo i am scarred for like because of you...why did you slap my hand and tell me no....:tcry::eek:

[Eiko]

Lol that was hilarious :lol:

[IndigoErth]

its all your fault Indigo i am scarred for like because of you...why did you slap my hand and tell me no....:tcry::eek:
You were in costume, how could I ever hit a Turtle?? :goof:

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

You were in costume, how could I ever hit a Turtle?? :goof:

you go "no! bad turtle!"
*smack*



jokes aside of scarness....im having a laugh and those who dont realize its satire

[MajorViolence]

Best thing I've seen all day.

[GildedLily]

Just had a horrifying thought. (Or to some it may be quite pleasing.)

This... in Digital 3D.

Nothing like almost being hit in the face with your favorite Turtle's... never mind, I'll stop now.

LMFAO! I just totally Donnie snorted at this comment Indigo. I wouldn't know how to feel or think at the theater, just bob and weave in my seat LMAO!

[Wildcat]

Its a well done joke but my gosh the hate that this movie has gotten is absurd.

I can't think of any other movie that's been so ridiculed.

[GildedLily]

I was hesitant at first. All this hype, these boards, the TV spots, etc have changed my opinion. Regardless, I had a game plan ever since news of a new movie came out. It's not fair to anyone involved with the movie, the franchise, etc etc to pass judgment without even giving it a try. I admit, at first, the looks and such had me really eh about it. Now, it's all grown on me and I actually am digging just about everything. Again, I always feel to give something a fair shot first. Even if it seems real childish and not what it seems to be, I could still very much like it. And hopefully, all the hate will die down, or people will be changing what they say, but even so, it won't matter. If I enjoy it, that's good enough for me.

[Wildcat]

I was hesitant at first. All this hype, these boards, the TV spots, etc have changed my opinion. Regardless, I had a game plan ever since news of a new movie came out. It's not fair to anyone involved with the movie, the franchise, etc etc to pass judgment without even giving it a try. I admit, at first, the looks and such had me really eh about it. Now, it's all grown on me and I actually am digging just about everything. Again, I always feel to give something a fair shot first. Even if it seems real childish and not what it seems to be, I could still very much like it. And hopefully, all the hate will die down, or people will be changing what they say, but even so, it won't matter. If I enjoy it, that's good enough for me.Yup, exactly. If I end up not liking it that's pretty much it. I'm not gonna go on and on making it out to be the worse thing ever. I think I'll like it though. Its rare that I absolutely hate a movie. If I don't like something I just don't watch it again.

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

Guys it's a joke site...and a joke video stop taking this seriously and have a laugh...if we can't laugh at our own franchise now and then something is wrong with us

[Wildcat]

Guys it's a joke site...and a joke video stop taking this seriously and have a laugh...if we can't laugh at our own franchise now and then something is wrong with usI said its a well done joke and I'm all for jokes but this was clearly made out of the hate people have for the movie and Michael Bay. Not that those people necessarily hate it...I mean its a product of the hate.

I just think they went too far and I'm someone who loves dirty jokes and such.

[Xiewin]

This wasn't even remotely funny, It was just sick.

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

I mean its a product of the hate.


Not really , it's just The Onion. This is their usual MO, every article is just to ruffle someone's feathers and have a laugh doing it


Look up their history and see how many times people end up believing one of their articles as real...

[IndigoErth]

It's The Onion... the only thing that's clearly anything is they are acting like The Onion. "Hate" isn't the only reason people poke fun at things.

It's prob a product of all the crap fans talk about, including that stuff. Raph's undies thread for example is hardly a thread made for/of hate... just pervy humans as usual.

[Wildcat]

I know what the Onion is guys. I just think it was ridiculous... not a good way. I know its not real.

[Powder]

The hipocrecy on these forums is absurd.

It's no more absurd than the grammar. Hipocrecy? :tlol:

The issue people take with toilet humor in TMNT, is when it's done canonically. Fan works, such as this, especially this (parodies), are free to do whatever because they have no bearing on the reputation or future of the property.

[terrorblade]

The issue people take with toilet humor in TMNT, is when it's done canonically. Fan works, such as this, especially this (parodies), are free to do whatever because they have no bearing on the reputation or future of the property.

Do you really think the future of TMNT depends on dick and fart jokes?:lol:
People here claimed that only 9 year old kids will find those kind jokes funny, now they are all laughing their ass off at this?:lol:

[Powder]

Do you really think the future of TMNT depends on dick and fart jokes?:lol:
People here claimed that only 9 year old kids will find those kind jokes funny, now they are all laughing their ass off at this?:lol:

No. That's not what I said. How do you even get that from what I wrote? Jesus. My point, which should be clear, is if this kind of humor is successful, future iterations will draw inspiration from it. Simply put "if da fart jokes iz funny dey gonna keep usin em". We who oppose their inclusion fear that.

[IndigoErth]

The only thing thats funny is how people uprise and hate this movie for making a fart joke that lasted maybe 3 seconds then find a long drawn out in yourface dick joke funny and acceptable.
It's a point, although if the movie actually treated us to it people would undoubtedly absolutely lose it. (And probably rightfully so given the pornographic nature.) Really depends on the source...

[Jester]

VR9NbvTOfaU
April gets it.

[MajorViolence]

The only thing thats funny is how people uprise and hate this movie for making a fart joke that lasted maybe 3 seconds then find a long drawn out in yourface dick joke funny and acceptable. The hipocrecy on these forums is absurd.

Talk about missing the point. I guess it's wrong of someone to laugh at a political cartoon about a politician making a stupid law, while being opposed to the same law being passed in reality? It's satire. The entire point here is that dicks are something people don't want to see in TMNT.

[Shellrider13]

The only thing thats funny is how people uprise and hate this movie for making a fart joke that lasted maybe 3 seconds then find a long drawn out in yourface dick joke funny and acceptable. The hipocrecy on these forums is absurd.

Its a joke bro

[Powder]

Your post was perfectly clear, nobody misinterpreted it. It was already explained to you why your "point" was invalid. Why doesn't anyone read?

[Sumac]

Why doesn't anyone read?
Because if they did, they would not had other choice, but to shut up.
But they can't allow themselves to do it: admitting failure is a no-no. :ohwell:

[massakre]

All I wanna know is where all the hipocrecy on these boards is coming from. Its absurd really when you think about it...









:lol:

[Sumac]

hipocrecy
My best guess, that its coming from you so far.
Since you are the last one who used that..."word".
:roll:

[Warhorse]

Talk about missing the point. I guess it's wrong of someone to laugh at a political cartoon about a politician making a stupid law, while being opposed to the same law being passed in reality? It's satire. The entire point here is that dicks are something people don't want to see in TMNT.

Hehehe, I think someone should plaster a frame of a dong in a TMNT movie, ala Fight Club style, and just sit back and watch the soccer moms go nuts!:lol:

I mean, why the hell not, they seem to be throwing everything else in there!

Was I supposed to read that in George Takei's voice? Cause I kinda did....

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: LMFAO! I did too!!!! And poor Leo probably had no intentions of going about it that way!

[Rooish]

So whose is biggest? My guess is Donnie, since he has the least overcompensation in personality.

[The Boston Ninja Turtle]

So whose is biggest? My guess is Donnie, since he has the least overcompensation in personality.

clearly shredders

[MajorViolence]

So whose is biggest? My guess is Donnie, since he has the least overcompensation in personality.

Donnie's would be the longest. Raph's would be thickest. Leo would have the most overall mass, and Mikey's would vary greatly with room temperature.

[Leo656]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: LMFAO! I did too!!!! And poor Leo probably had no intentions of going about it that way!

No, no, I always do that. I jumped on it like 5 seconds after Howard Stern started doing it. They used to hammer that "Oh MY" clip of Takei every few seconds on Howard's show back in the day. :lol:

[Coola Yagami]

How can anyone see them? They'd be jammed into April's mouth the whole time.

[Warhorse]

It's no more absurd than the grammar. Hipocrecy? :tlol:

The issue people take with toilet humor in TMNT, is when it's done canonically. Fan works, such as this, especially this (parodies), are free to do whatever because they have no bearing on the reputation or future of the property.

Talk about missing the point. I guess it's wrong of someone to laugh at a political cartoon about a politician making a stupid law, while being opposed to the same law being passed in reality? It's satire. The entire point here is that dicks are something people don't want to see in TMNT.

I'm guessing pdizzle deleted his posts after he kind of made a doofus of himself? Huh?

It's hilarious though, this thread has had to have the highest view count in the least amount of time on the technodrome.:lol:

[Kanon]

I admit that this was the funniest thing I saw this week.
(okay the second, right after the Mikey/Raph hiding on a victoria secret billboard TV-clip :D)

How much time did they waste to draw all these Penis sketches? :lol:

[GildedLily]

How much time did they waste to draw all these Penis sketches?

My question is how did anyone shown in that whole video, keep a straight face? I'd be just busting a gut in the background during the whole thing.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Okay, I KNOW it's The Onion and all, but..... THAT was just wrong on SO many levels.... :teek::trolleye::tgrumble::tconfuse:

[Leo656]

You loved it. :lol:

[IndigoErth]

The Onion... the masters of striving for every level of wrong and then finding the hidden extra levels. lol

[SwiftNinjaFox]

Sometimes I just have to wonder....

How much time do the folks at the Onion have on their hands? :lol:

[Cure]

Sometimes I just have to wonder....

How much time do the folks at the Onion have on their hands? :lol:

I'm guessing 8 hours five days a week, give or take.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

You loved it. :lol:

Touche, good sir. :trazz::twink:

[TerranigmaFreak]

I told you guys it would be rated NC-17!