Your relationship with your parents

[Netkeeper]

Includes step-parents, guardians, and other parental figures in your life, related by blood or otherwise. Feel free to get into as much detail as you like, since this is a complex topic! I'm going to try to keep it brief for now, though.

I had the strangest thought a few minutes ago: I'd said "Mom's the best", and after I said it, I realised that wasn't something I've ever actually said before. Just as little as three years ago, I never would have dreamed I'd be saying something like that with sincere intent.

For most of my life my relationship with her has been rather strained. I attribute this to her own strained relationship of my father, since she'd remarked many times through my teen years as "being just like him", but they since managed to repair that relationship after spending some time living in different states.

As I grew up, my mother was the authoritarian, not my father. Her standards were higher, too -- if I came home with a C grade on anything, oh boy. She was also really secretive. I didn't even learn what kind of movies or books she enjoyed until I was living with just her, and I never felt like I could talk to her because she was dismissive about any subject that wasn't school related. She was harsher on displays of emotion, usually yelling at me for crying, and if we were even two steps outside the house, I got smacked for it. And this behaviour continued even into adulthood, though some of it did lessen, to her credit.

Now, though? She's become more open, friendly, and most of all, understanding. She used to be the absolute last person I would talk to about anything. Now, she's the first; she helped me get the job I have now, she doesn't pressure me to do things any more, and lets me be myself.

My dad's pretty different. I never had many problems with him -- my mother wasn't wrong when she compared us to one another. In personality, we're really similar, and throughout my life I never felt much like he was an "authority figure". He's far too silly for that kind of thing, though some of that might have been because he was experiencing his midlife crisis when I was a kid. :V

[Prowler]

It's fine, I guess.

[TheCanadiandrome]

better be good, i'm currently living with them 8) :lol: :o ;)

[Davetello]

Good and bad, mostly good.

[Brooke507]

I get along well with my parents, I really can't complain.

[BubblyShell22]

I'm closer with my mom than my dad, but I get along relatively well with both of them. I like to help my dad out when I can, and I think he appreciates that a lot because I'm always willing to lend a hand when he needs it. I can't really do much now because of the weather since he doesn't want me working in the cold, so it's frustrating.

[IndigoErth]

Well, that's a flood gate probably best kept locked the best it can and guarded against too many breaks.

[Slade]

MOTHER F*CK both of them. Her and whoever he is.

[CyberCubed]

Perfect. Honestly my parents are great. My parents got married when they were 25 and are still married to this day at the age of 55. My father sells insurance and my mother is a school teacher.

Its also hard to believe how much they spoiled me growing up. All my videogames and TMNT toys as a kid came from my parents or grandparents. They bought me everything I ever wanted, all the old Nintendo consoles, handhelds, etc.

[Davetello]

When Cubed speaks about his personal matters, he always gives the impression that his life is going swimmingly and he has no care in the world. I'm not doubting his honesty. I am however envious at how laid back he is :)

[Katie]

My parents are great. And even better since I moved out! Ha!

Nah I was lucky. My parents have been together since highschool. Got married at 17 and 19 about a billion years ago. They didn't want kids, but had two oopsies after 11 years together.

We were poor, but happy. I had no idea how poor until I got older. Sure, I never had a lot of toys or stuff, but I had a lot of love.

My dad's a general and strict as nails. My mom was traditional. Super great people.

[Gunpowder]

I've been fortunate enough to have parents who both care deeply about me. They do get on my nerves a lot of the time with how old-fashioned and closed-minded they are about a lot of things, but it'd be selfish of me to complain. I wouldn't trade em for the world.

[Prowler]

Perfect. Honestly my parents are great. My parents got married when they were 25 and are still married to this day at the age of 55. My father sells insurance and my mother is a school teacher.

Its also hard to believe how much they spoiled me growing up. All my videogames and TMNT toys as a kid came from my parents or grandparents. They bought me everything I ever wanted, all the old Nintendo consoles, handhelds, etc.
Maybe that explains a lot. J/k :P


When Cubed speaks about his personal matters, he always gives the impression that his life is going swimmingly and he has no care in the world. I'm not doubting his honesty. I am however envious at how laid back he is :)

Is your avatar from "Donatello's Duplicate"?

[TonySiegel]

got alot of love for the parental units... we all give each other tough love... but the love is there...

[Davetello]

Is your avatar from "Donatello's Duplicate"?

Can't remember, I think so. It's just one of the selectable avatars offered by the site. I will probably go back to Dave Beaver at some point in future.

[CyberCubed]

When Cubed speaks about his personal matters, he always gives the impression that his life is going swimmingly and he has no care in the world. I'm not doubting his honesty. I am however envious at how laid back he is :)

Life is sunshine and lollipops. Its amazing I'm in my late 20's now and haven't had any major problems or mistakes in terms of life. Sure I was sad when my grandparents passed, but they lived full lives so it was alright.

[Davetello]

Life is sunshine and lollipops. Its amazing I'm in my late 20's now and haven't had any major problems or mistakes in terms of life. Sure I was sad when my grandparents passed, but they lived full lives so it was alright.

Yes, I wasn't having a go, I admire it actually, as I implied.

I'm interested about why you're the way you are though. Why do you think nothing gets to you? Surely you've experienced education or job issues, break-ups etc. Do you get over that sort of thing easily? Is it just the way you're wired?

[Redeemer]

My parents are great. And even better since I moved out! Ha!

See this is what always caused problems with me and my parents :lol:

[CyberCubed]

I'm interested about why you're the way you are though. Why do you think nothing gets to you? Surely you've experienced education or job issues, break-ups etc. Do you get over that sort of thing easily? Is it just the way you're wired?

I went to College right after I finished High School and graduated in about 5 years. I graduated in 2008 and that's when the worldwide recession was so it did take me a while to land a job but I was living at home at the time so I didn't have any bills to pay. However I did get a job in 2009 and while its not high paying or anything its decent enough. We're now in 2014...so its been quite a few years.

One thing I'm always happy about is I always had enough money to buy whatever I wanted. When I wanted new videogames, DVDs, toys, comics, etc...I could always afford it. A good TV and computer? Check. I don't own a car though, but I could theoretically afford one if I wanted to get one soon. I live with my head in the clouds.

[Davetello]

I went to College right after I finished High School and graduated in about 5 years. I graduated in 2008 and that's when the worldwide recession was so it did take me a while to land a job but I was living at home at the time so I didn't have any bills to pay. However I did get a job in 2009 and while its not high paying or anything its decent enough. We're now in 2014...so its been quite a few years.

One thing I'm always happy about is I always had enough money to buy whatever I wanted. When I wanted new videogames, DVDs, toys, comics, etc...I could always afford it. A good TV and computer? Check. I don't own a car though, but I could theoretically afford one if I wanted to get one soon. I live with my head in the clouds.

I understand. That was a bad time to be coming out of college, a relative of mine left uni in the same year and he's had job issues ever since, flitting between them. Sounds like you are one of the lucky ones.

It sounds like you live a very practical, material life. I don't mean that as a bad thing, by the way. Just based on what you're saying. Lots of what satisfies you appears to be what you can afford to buy and enjoy, what you consume, or how you can progress in life. For someone like me (and others), it's different, as I could probably afford anything I want and still not be content. I think more about injustices in the world, purposes of life, potential problems of the future etc. Questions and issues which can never realistically be solved, really. I'm sure you can appreciate why someone with those sorts of things on their mind might be less content than you are. I basically can't 'escape' in entertainment to the same extent you can, I can't immerse myself completely.

Overall, though, I'd far rather have your outlook than mine, and as stated I admire and envy it.

[Cure]

My mother is cool with me. I'm from the hood, though, so you know. I don't know my father. Stereotype!

[Davetello]

Lol, that made me laugh. Fair play.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

My relationship with the parents? Hoo-boy. That's a touchy subject, actually. Okay, you said we could be as detailed as we want, so here goes....

First, I'll start by saying that I LOVE my mom. She was the one who taught me to be open-minded, to treat people fairly, and to always try to be understanding of others. She also taught me to read at a very young age, and fostered my love of reading, learning, and nature. We've always been close, and I have always been able to talk to her about almost anything- except for a short time when I first became a Wiccan and didn't know how to tell her about it. She ended up finding out from someone else, and we had some problems because of it after she confronted me about my beliefs- we still don't see eye to eye on it, as she was raised Christian, even though we've never been really religious. (But my grandparents were always very church-going, and my grandmother still is.) but she's finally sort of come to understand that my beliefs are not the same as the rest of the family, and she accepts that. She's a wonderful, smart, and generous person who loves to please the people around her. Unfortunately, that's also one of her few flaws. She tries to avoid confrontations, and often feels the need to cater to others even when they are unappreciative or undeserving. I love her to death, but sometimes I wish she'd just stand up for herself more.

Now, my step-dad, on the other hand, is one of those people I would consider a stain on humanity. He's controlling, anti-social, bigoted, and is one of those people who always HAS to be right. (Even if he isn't.) He has also been emotionally, verbally, and even physically abusive to me. (And controlling and emotionally abusive to my mother at times, too.) After I brought it out into the open when I was 9 and we went through counseling and a six-month separation of my parents (during which he was also under a temporary restraining order not to be around me) it stopped- or at least for a couple of years. But I eventually had to threaten him with full exposure AGAIN- which would have basically sent him to jail for a LONG time (and probably gotten him shivved or something- one could only hope....) if he ever touched me again. But to this day, I still can't trust him. He's a sick, sociopathic pedophile with anger-management issues, and I hate him. I've posted a couple of times elsewhere about how I fantasized a few times when I was a kid about gutting him like the pig he is while he napped in his recliner, just to do the rest of the world a favor. The only reason I never did was that I didn't want to put my mom or me through all the crap that would have come from it.

Understand, I had/have good reason to feel this way. This is a man who has tried to bribe me with college to leave my husband- who is 10 TIMES the man he is- and did some really horrible things when I was a kid. But he never went further than just "touching" or trying to look at me- he is basically an idiot in most respects, but was smart about not doing anything he could truly be nailed for with evidence. I didn't realize how sneaky he was actually being until I was much older. He's also tried bribing and "apologizing" with gifts more than once. My first cat was one of those. I loved her in spite of knowing why he gave her to me, but it makes me sick to think that man had no remorse (he still thinks it was okay because we're not related) and that he would try to "buy off" a kid with a pet. It didn't make me forgive him. And the day he finally kicks the bucket will probably be the happiest of my life.

[Leo656]

Ooof. Well... it was literally every single degree between, at times, "perfect", and, other times, "everyone in this house is going to kill everyone else in this house." They both had lots of drug problems, particularly cocaine, and my Mom drank way too much. As a kid, there were always tons of shady people around and even though I was too young to have any idea what was going on, I still kind of knew, and I definitely noticed how my Mom was two completely different people. When I was really little I just noticed that she got "mean" after it got dark, but by the time I was three I was fully aware what alcoholics were and that she was a bad one. Then I noticed how many other people in the family were exactly the same way, and that was depressing. It was tough growing up with that, because like, for example, you'd all be out at a Christmas party, everything is perfect, but Mom had a little too much to drink and wasn't ready to go home yet at 2am, and then, two minutes after you get home, people are throwing things and smashing windows and hitting each other and pushing each other down the stairs. I can't even remember how many times I'd seen cop cars in my driveway before I was ten years old. My Mom was constantly getting arrested, I mean that's how it felt, anyway; either when the neighbors would call the cops and show up and see my Dad bleeding, or she'd get caught driving drunk, or picking a fight at the bar, whatever, it was always a huge mess.

When she drank, she got abusive. Even when I was 3 or 4 she'd hit me with wooden spoons or coat hangers or whatever she could reach. Thing is, in that time, and in the town I grew up in, pretty much every kid had one parent who drank too much and hit them sometimes, so not only did I not think much of it, I didn't actually consider that I'd been "abused" until I was in therapy and they flat-out said so. Someone had to pull me aside and explain to me in detail that parents usually don't tell their kids they hate them and hit them with coat hangers until they bleed. I mean, I'd always known I didn't deserve it - an example of something I could get beaten over would be, one time when I was 5, I answered the phone and gave it to my Mom, and it was a bill collector, so after that she said to always say she wasn't home, so when her drug dealer called later that day, I told them she wasn't home, so she kicked my ass for that. One time she flung an empty Schnapps bottle at my head because my Dad wasn't home - he'd started going to strip clubs and screwing other chicks because he couldn't stand her doing that kind of sh*t on a daily basis.

As I got older, I got completely fed up and started lashing out at everyone. I got in tons of fights at school and started physically fighting back at home. In my teens I had very violent fights with both my parents. I'm not particularly proud of it, but I never raised a hand first, and what's more, there were literally times I could've died, so I'm not particularly ashamed of it either. Eventually I couldn't even bring friends over; people were terrified of my Mom. She had a stint in rehab for a few months, and it did a lot of good, briefly, but she refused to stop hanging out with the people who she had always drank and done drugs with, so a couple months later she got worse than ever and was dead by the time I was 14. My parents had split up by then - my Dad caught her cheating on him after they both promised they weren't going to do that anymore, and that and her substance problems just got to be too much. Ironically, the week she died, they were supposed to go out to eat and talk about getting back together, but she died, like, the day before or something. He had been cursing her out and swearing he hated her but he completely went to pieces when she died. They both acted like they hated each other, and I'm not sure how she really felt about him, but I know he loved her more than he ever really let on.

Oddly, my Dad almost never drank; I think I saw him drunk maybe three times in my life, probably only twice truthfully, and he worked a side job as a bartender once a week. He was never a drinker, but he was huge into weed and coke. He had a bad temper sometimes, but it was really hard to bring it out of him. He got violent plenty, but nowhere near as often, he was more likely to merely say the most hurtful things anyone ever could think of if he was pissed off. I kind of inherited that, unfortunately. When I was a kid, we got along great for the most part, except we fought a lot about his/their drug problems. They weren't exactly quiet about it, and in a really small town that's problematic because everyone knows everyone's business. It was embarrassing, and we also didn't have a lot of money and they often pissed what we did have away on drugs, so we fought about that a lot, all the way up until we stopped living together. It started off not being that bad but it got much worse over the years. I was originally going to move out after high school - we'd both sworn for years we were sick of each other - but his health started getting really bad because of all the drugs, and his other kids didn't want to know from him, so I stayed with him, but it started getting really bad. He started getting really heavy into the coke after Mom died and pretty much went on a ten-year binge that ruined things for both of us. We were getting along a lot better the last year of his life after he moved in with my sister - my Mom's kid, not his - but he also was sober for the first time in fifteen years and had a lot of time to think.

The tough part is, when they were sober, they were both really great people. Like, my Mom, especially, would do anything for anyone. When they were on something they'd fight with each other and fight with me and hit me and steal money from me, but when they were straight they were really affectionate and generous. Like, they both had, to a degree, a strong moral code, but that didn't extend to drugs, and basically anything that ever happened when someone was f*cked up was supposed to be excused and dismissed, because "obviously they didn't really mean it." They both did their best to try and spoil me to make up for the rest of the time; neither of them was ever any good at apologizing, or admitting fault, or talking about what was wrong. So they'd buy me stuff or take me places when they could, and it was totally appreciated, don't get me wrong. And they mostly encouraged me in everything I did or wanted to do. And they never stopped telling everyone they knew how proud they were of me for this or that. But the most important thing, to me, was that they stop screwing around and get straight. Even as a kid, it was easy to see that unless that happened, everything else was just a band-aid on a bullet wound, and things would always get worse, and that's exactly what happened. It was always, "This is what grown-ups do; they party, and kids shut the f*ck up about it and mind their own business." Except, No, that's not how it works at all. And as I got older, I got more and more resentful and angry about how dramatically different they were, just the completely schizophrenic nature of the situation. "It's easy: When you're not f*cked up, you're terrific human beings. Just DO THAT, like, every day, instead of one or two days a week, and every problem we have goes away." And they could've; they openly were not interested. Other than the one time my Mom went to rehab, which was court-ordered, they insisted that "nobody" had a drug problem, ever, and that nobody should have to quit "having fun". So eventually, they were just f*cked up ALL the time, and that's when we stopped getting along. :ohwell:

There were plenty of good times, too... and I was on good terms with both of them right before they each died... but obviously I'm still pretty bitter about it. The people they were when they were "Good"... it really isn't fair that I only got to know them a little bit, instead of all the time. I was only in counseling briefly, less than two years, but it did a lot of good. I definitely would have killed myself. I mean, my own parents had told me to do it, more than once. How's a kid going to fully compute that in their head? You don't just say, "Oh, she's just drunk", that sh*t sticks to you. Then the next day it's like, "Sorry. Here, I made you breakfast." Great... so am I still supposed to kill myself, or were you just "mad"?

I don't know. I'm dwelling on the worst of the worst, but this time of year is rough for me. Christmas Eve is my Mom's Birthday and also the day my Dad died, and my Aunt, my Mom's twin sister, is set to slip away from Emphysema any time now. So I'm kind of in a dark place when it comes to thinking about my family right now.

Rest assured, though, it wasn't ALWAYS like that. Maybe later or tomorrow I'll balance all this out with some of the better times. We definitely had our share. This is just too long already. I'll get to it.

[snake]

S'alright. They know what's best for me even if I don't like it. (most of the time)

[Machias Banshee]

I have a wonderful relationship with my parents. I used to be a lil combative with my parents and brother when I was a teenager, but I mellowed out once I went through college and graduated.

I'm [i]extremely[i] close to my mom. We've both been through a lot in our lives, and we became even tighter when she had her uterine cancer a few years back. I took care of her during recovery, chemo, and the journey back to where she is now.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

I also forgot to add that today was my mom's birthday. She's 58!

[Davetello]

I've written essays shorter than that Leo :lol:

But sorry to hear of everyone's problems with parents, but also nice to see that there were good times as well.

[Leo656]

Thaaaaat's the gimmick.

[Davetello]

I read it all, by the way, and MsMarvel's.

You and I like to write long posts but I think the above post is the record for length. However, it was completely worthwhile and a heartfelt read.

Happy bday to Marvel mom, btw.

[Leo656]

Oh lord no, I've rambled on twice as long about sh*t much more trivial. Tried to work on it. Got my good and bad days.

[IndigoErth]

Well, I don't really want to go into too much, lest it become a rant, but if we're opening veins...

Simply put I've got a bit of a Mother Gothel (villain from Tangled). No, I'm not trapped in a tower. Nor is my mother vain. It's more the emotional manipulation that's all too familiar, the purposely cutting down someone's self esteem to emotionally imprison and dominate them. There are lyrics/themes from the song "Mother Knows Best" that are a dead ringer for my mother. (Hell, we can even throw in the fact that my hair has always been my main complemented feature and not much else. Just call me Rapunzel.)

My parents in and of themselves are decent people, particularly from what anyone else would ever see. Unfortunately with a history of abuse on my mother's side and having her own rather unstable emotional problems, I'm the one she chose to take it out on. Apparently because her mother wasn't very nice to her (and add in molestation by her father), and my great grandmother wasn't too nice my grandmother, and god knows how far back it continues to go...

I am grateful my mother did NOT continue the molestation part - maybe it helped that she only had daughters - but it still makes me angry that she continued the emotional abuse. (If I could slap whoever started it... But as far as I'm concerned, no matter if I have a child or not it ENDS. NOW.)

I have a younger sister (who turns 30 this week - ouch), but she was always the one encouraged to be confident and take on the world. There was always the attitude that if anyone can do it (what ever the 'it' might be at the moment), she can. And these days, she's the one who my parents are always so glad to see. They never really regard me like that.

Me on the other hand... I was, and am, always the one my mother sought to control. The one who she'd act needlessly overprotective of as if the world could eat me alive, but then turn around and treat me with so much disinterest and indifference. (WTF.)

I suppose that could be another Mother Gothel trait. If she doesn't protect her emotional punching bag, well then who will she take it out on then? Surely not the people with whom she actually cares about the quality of the relationship she has with them. Because for all the times I hear her say she has to "pick her battles" when speaking about my sister (and brother-in-law), she will however hunt for a battle with me.

She raised one daughter to be confident and outgoing who she's clearly proud of. (And who I think she is trying to live vicariously through.) And the other...me...to be stupidly afraid of too much and hasn't gotten very far because of it. It makes me angry that she/they made me what I am, but then I have to take all the blame for being that person. Admittedly I've always felt like a pretty emotionally isolated and lonely person.

My father was never a bad person, his only real fault was in choosing to mimic my mother when I wish he would have chosen to play the good cop instead of choosing to be blind. (Although a lot of crap was never done in front of him... Gee I wonder why.) So if my mother was in one of her moods and mad at me/us, then he decided he was mad too. (And I say us because I'm not going to say my sister had it perfect either, but she certainly has had it better.)

I don't want to be like my mother and sit there playing victim. Though so much I struggle with comes right from her. Emotionally speaking, what I have to be proud of came entirely from myself. And though I'm just keeping details minimal here, it all was enough that I had bad anxiety issues (including anxiety attacks - fun stuff) and severe depression when I was younger. No thanks to anyone around me I fought my own way out of that on my own. I learned a lot about my own inner strength though I have a hard time translating that into anything outside of myself. I hope to someday find the courage and ability to break outside of that prison my mother forced me into and has kept me in, but I dunno. But that's the basis of my mess, minus the more wounding details that would lead into rant territory.

[BubblyShell22]

Well, my dad's an alcoholic, and when he's drinking, he's a totally different person than when he's sober. When he's sober, it's all good, but when he's drunk, he's an a**hole. Still won't forgive him for buying a house my mom and I told him not to buy because it would be too much work. He told me he'd refuse the offer, and he didn't, so he essentially lied to me. So, yeah, not too keen on him anymore. My mom was the one who spent time with all of us while my dad chose to drink.

[Mayhem]

I've seen that IndigoErth, both sets of parents for my last two girlfriends have been completely guilty of that. Doing their best to destroy their daughter's self esteem and worth, and guilt her into doing things. Tragic and depressing.

As for myself, my folks are alive, still together, and I consider to have brought me up well. Well enough that pretty much all my girlfriends have loved them, and a couple wanted to take them back with them instead! I consider myself fortunate.

[pennydreadful]

On a surface level, I get on "fine" with my parents and love them both very much -- it's not a perfect set-up though; I go out of my way to avoid conflict, which is why I can say that.

My mother is a lot better than she used to be, but I do have to keep my non-heterosexuality firmly in the closet around her (and my nana, who is practically my second parent as well - there were times during my childhood where I actually lived with my nana instead of my parents). My mother's a high-functioning alcoholic and hasn't always been good at expressing that she cares; it's only in the last couple of years that she's been able to say stuff like "I'm proud of you." So I still have a tendency to not go to her when I have problems - when I'm in the middle of a depressive episode, I withdraw rather than say "Hey, I'm struggling right now."

My relationship with my father is more complex - I got a lot of time and attention from him as a child (I'm really the only one out of my sibs who did); as my parents' marriage experienced difficulty, I had less time with him (particularly over my teenage years) as he took work postings overseas to avoid being at home with us. They divorced when I was 18; he left my mother for another woman and it turns out that he'd actually been cheating on my mother for pretty much the entire marriage; needless to say I felt a certain way about that.

Honestly, the divorce was the best thing - my father was also a heavy drinker when he was in the marriage, arguments were constant and the fights often got physical. And let's be honest, nobody wants to say that sort of thing about their dad.

So he took off to do his own thing after the divorce (and my mother crawled into a bottle for a few years before finally getting her sh*t together). Despite that, I could still count on getting the most effort from him out of everyone else - the other sibs/members of the family would get one phone call from him per year; I'd get three. In the last couple of years, he's withdrawn quite a bit and I now get no effort, which is very hard for me, as it's not something I'm used to. My kid sister is used to not having had him in her life really, but I'm not, and it's something that's very hard for me to deal with.

I really idolized my father and looked up to him, and now I'm having to balance that out with actually admitting to myself that he is in fact a very flawed person. He's not an honest person, and he's very much just about himself. There's also the fact that my mental illness comes from his side of the family, so my feelings are basically best summed up as "I love him, but I resent him."

That being said, I never wanted for anything either - so I have it a lot better than others. We always had the best of everything so I feel like a bit of a brat whining about "wah, my daddy don't love me". *shrugs*

[ProactiveMan]

Without going into my relationship with my parents, I will say that they both retired this year, and I worried that Dad's not going to make it.

He's got more time on his hands, less responsibility and a long term dependency on amber fluids. He almost chopped his finger off on the weekend, doing something with a drop saw.

[Slade]

Guess I can elaborate, I may have said this about my "dad" before though.

Anyway, I don't like either of them. Reason being, until I was 10, I had no ideas who my "dad" was. My mom's friend told her that she needed to find him because I needed him. Told her I didn't. I was right, but anyway. She found him. Two days after, we find out he's a coke head and she starts bringing him to go and get it all the time. I have to ride along too. Also turns out, he's an alcoholic. An abusive one. About a week after she found him, they started fighting. He would beat the sh*t out of her and constantly put me down. Saying I was worthless and not his(though he was right) and of he could get away with it, he'd kill both of us.

That sh*t lasted until I was 19. But all the while it would happen, he would eventually leave or get arrested and she would always go back and get him or bail him out after a day or two. She would say it's cus I need him. Of course she's a f**king retard and I knew better. During this time she got pregnant with my brother although turns out he's my half brother. We had nothing when he was around. She put all her money towards him. When I got a job, if I wanted food I'd have to steal it from my store to feed myself cus she'd be at work till midnight and he would cook for him and my brothe and there'd be none left when I'd get home and I didn't have the money for food and gas.

Anyway, about a month or two ago, she tells me that he isn't even my dad and she knew it all along. Now she's all upset cus she thinks because she told me that, that I'm upset with her. No, that just adds to it, I can't stand her because she constantly chose him over me and my brother. Now she's always broke and constantly asking me for money, but I haven't gotten sh*t from her for the past 14 years.

[BubblyShell22]

I can relate because my dad's an alcoholic and is an a**hole. He just said yesterday that he didn't feel guilty for buying that house behind our backs. Seriously, I just wish he didn't exist.