Cinema Sins: Everything Wrong With Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) [Archive]

Bry

01-15-2015, 02:07 PM

I'll have to finish watching this later, but so far it's glorious.

And hey, notice how the rooftop jump sequence they showed at 6:06 is basically just a worse-directed, overly contrasty shaky-cam version of the 0:57 mark in this?

yF0ICUUX9-k?t=58s

Candy Kappa

01-15-2015, 02:11 PM

It was mighty entertaining, and had a few tidbits I missed when I was watching the movie.

Bry

01-15-2015, 02:45 PM

Thanks for reminding me how deeply unpleasant these designs are to look at, Cinema Sins!

http://s11.postimg.org/wtb0glps3/image.png

Great video. And they caught a few ludicrous things I didn't notice myself (though they likely had to watch the movie more than once to put this together, and... no thanks), so now I think even less of the movie, somehow! :tlol:

Commenter 42

01-15-2015, 02:50 PM

They didn't mock that terrible intro animation sequence, or mention a ton of the issues I thought jumped out, but they noticed things I didn't. Even so, I could easily add another 30 sins.

Ugly designs are ugly. I just don't understand what there is to like about this at all.

IndigoErth

01-15-2015, 03:48 PM

Been waiting for one of these to turn up, it didn't disappoint. :lol:

One I was surprised they did not cover and I still want an explanation for:

April takes the photos, all four of them are right in front of her when she's standing on the ladder with her camera at the edge of the rooftop. She tries to get away and Raph yanks her ass back up there, meanwhile, somehow, Leo, who had been right there with his brothers, has...taken off and climbed the water tower? (Very quickly I might add.) For...? No reason other than badass leader dramatic entrance? :P

Although when April is yanked back up there, Raph himself does mysteriously jump down from somewhere, with no time to have been anywhere other than right in front of her.

Also, it hit me the other day, the elevator... Don't those things have cameras?

Some poor hired clueless non-Foot security guard sitting in front of monitors is freaking out. Or at least is planning to sell video evidence.

That is kind of wild about the Almanac movie placement though. Shameless ad insert, but a seemingly meaningless title suddenly actually being something... :teek:

Candy Kappa

01-15-2015, 03:57 PM

Also, it hit me the other day, the elevator... Don't those things have cameras?

Some poor hired clueless non-Foot security guard sitting in front of monitors is freaking out.:

That would have been an amazing short movie. :lol:

TrickOrTreater

01-15-2015, 06:26 PM

Galactus

01-15-2015, 07:15 PM

There's a few obvious things I thought they missed as well as a few they picked up on that I didn't realize myself.

Autbot_Benz

01-15-2015, 07:24 PM

Bloodsucker

01-15-2015, 07:42 PM

So The BAY is going to make another movie that is not our Ninja or Transformers http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Michael-Bay-John-Krasinski-Might-Make-Haunting-Movie-Together-69180.html

IndigoErth

01-15-2015, 07:47 PM

Mr cinema Sin was wrong when he said Mikey's rocketboard didn't appear in any other part of the movie besides the snow chase.

Mikey Used it in the lair fight to get to april and he used it on the rooftop when they were going back to the lair.
Yeah, caught that, too. Although one question remains... when we see it during the snow chase, where was he keeping it? o.O

By all appearances he'd left it at home when they were captured and I doubt Raph brought it along. :tlol:

Autbot_Benz

01-15-2015, 07:51 PM

Yeah, caught that, too. Although one question remains... when we see it during the snow chase, where was he keeping it? o.O

By all appearances he'd left it at home when they were captured and I doubt Raph brought it along. :tlol:

in his turtle shell like a battle shell turtle :P

Gunpowder

01-15-2015, 08:08 PM

Haha, friend of mine sent me this earlier today, basically as soon as it was uploaded. Funny stuff. That bit with the misplaced comma in the google search was absolutely cringe-worthy.

B-Man

01-15-2015, 08:31 PM

By all appearances he'd left it at home when they were captured and I doubt Raph brought it along. :tlol:

http://i905.photobucket.com/albums/ac252/benman011/TMNT_ILM_VFX_09.jpg

Vid is amusing (if you can get past that dudes voice) but felt a little late to the party. All these flaws/nitpicks have been flogged to death on the internet since August. They were even wrong on a few things. Though the Vern-knowing-it-was-April-calling-from-a-payphone thing made me feel real stupid for not noticing :lol:

Autbot_Benz

01-15-2015, 08:35 PM

http://i905.photobucket.com/albums/ac252/benman011/TMNT_ILM_VFX_09.jpg

Vid is amusing (if you can get past that dudes voice) but felt a little late to the party. All these flaws/nitpicks have been flogged to death on the internet since August. They were even wrong on a few things. Though the Vern-knowing-it-was-April-calling-from-a-payphone thing made me feel real stupid for not noticing :lol:

interesting I had no idea Raph brought Mikey's rocket board along

IndigoErth

01-15-2015, 08:42 PM

Phine, I take it back.

Wtf Raph, really? Next movie he'll bring a change of pants, too.

ToTheNines

01-15-2015, 08:43 PM

I just wanna say: Vern was listening to the George Michael classic "Careless Whisper". Not Kenny G.

Galactus

01-15-2015, 08:57 PM

I guess a better question is why Raph would bring Mikey's skateboard?

It's not like it's an essential piece of equipment to do battle and if he was bringing along stuff other than their standard weapons like shuriken and I'm sure that version of Donatello would have had a bunch of other preposterous gadgets that would help. Now this is major nitpicky I know but in live action I've always preferred the turtles with weapons carried on their backs to use scabbards, it adds to the realism which kinda brings up a design element that is small compared to their overall designs flaws but why do the turtles all have straps? Surely it should only be the ones aforementioned weapons. Why do none of them have proper belts? Particularly the ones that need to holster their weapons by their sides.

IndigoErth

01-15-2015, 10:00 PM

I guess a better question is why Raph would bring Mikey's skateboard?
Hence my "change of pants" comment. Raph might be impulsive, but he's no dummy and can't see him normally wanting to bother to have time for nonsense like making sure to bring Mikey's skateboard. lol Really, that thing can't be light, why weigh yourself down with it. (Oh yeah, plot device. Literally speaking.)

Seriously, your brothers are in trouble. Assuming you're able to save them... packing snacks might be more worthwhile. :lol:

but why do the turtles all have straps?
My theory has always been shell support. :trazz: All that weight on a biped...

Why do none of them have proper belts? Particularly the ones that need to holster their weapons by their sides.
Makes too much sense, we can't have too much of that in summer blockbusters.

Candy Kappa

01-16-2015, 12:19 AM

I think too that the straps are fr shell support, since the collection of scutes stuck together labeled as a shell don't seem to be a part of their spine and ribcage, which a turtle shell is.

It's probably sticking to their skin like a huge piece of scab, and probbaly can't be properly supported by the size those scab-shells are.

Shark_Blade

01-16-2015, 02:41 AM

Every movie has its sins so this is a treat to watch. :D

neatoman

01-16-2015, 04:55 AM

It was funny, they did miss some things though.

massakre

01-16-2015, 10:53 AM

some of those "sins" were pretty legit.. some i felt Cinema Sins were reaching a bit.. pretty good vid overall though, definitely room for improvement in the sequel

Amaranthus

01-16-2015, 12:52 PM

I just don't understand what there is to like about this at all.

What's not to like?
It has Megan Fox, explosions and fart jokes, man!
What more can you want? Jesus.

Bry

01-16-2015, 01:18 PM

What's not to like?
It has Megan Fox, explosions and fart jokes, man!
What more can you want? Jesus.

Oh, I got this, I got this. Here's the TMNT 2 ending: Megan Fox defeats Bebop and Rocksteady by farting an explosion (being sure to stick her butt out for the camera first). Mikey yells "boom goes the dynamite!" because that was a thing about seven years before the movie's release date. Then they all celebrate with Taco Bell® Mexican Pizzas and delicious Orange Crush®.

You can private message me for my direct deposit info, Platinum Dunes.

IndigoErth

01-16-2015, 01:48 PM

:lol: Fox butt assault weapon. The toy version will be epic. And cause outrage.

ernesth100

01-16-2015, 02:58 PM

The sad thing is every single thing in this video is true. It's also hilarious. :D

The Boston Ninja Turtle

01-16-2015, 03:51 PM

i would actually pay to see that

Whatswiththeheadbands?

01-16-2015, 04:11 PM

I'm sure someone will be in shortly to tell you.

Should it be me, or...

Purse Grabbin Puke

01-16-2015, 04:37 PM

Should it be me, or...

SHHHHHHHH this thread is amazing....please just SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bloodsucker

01-16-2015, 05:01 PM

SHHHHHHHH this thread is amazing....please just SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You are right! If only they could understand it! Just like your avatar, they need to SHUT IT! It's better we get something than nothing. I want them to use the idea that Bry said before. It would be so much funny! I always kkkk when I make a fart.

Bry

01-16-2015, 05:16 PM

Damn right! Set that bar so low you could trip over it! We'll take literally anything! :tgrin:

:lol: Fox butt assault weapon. The toy version will be epic. And cause outrage.

Best/worst use of a spring-loaded action feature ever!?

i would actually pay to see that

Y'hear that, Hollywood? I want my money!

Bloodsucker

01-16-2015, 05:21 PM

Damn right! Set that bar so low you could trip over it! We'll take literally anything! :tgrin:

Best/worst use of a spring-loaded action feature ever!?

Y'hear that, Hollywood? I want my money!

Pursegrabbingpuke will be so happy to see farting jokes! You are an artist, can you make the picture?

IndigoErth

01-16-2015, 05:21 PM

I always kkkk when I make a fart.
:teek:
Can't think of anything to add, laughing too hard.

Purse Grabbin Puke

01-16-2015, 07:26 PM

You are right! If only they could understand it! Just like your avatar, they need to SHUT IT! It's better we get something than nothing. I want them to use the idea that Bry said before. It would be so much funny! I always kkkk when I make a fart.

Pursegrabbingpuke will be so happy to see farting jokes! You are an artist, can you make the picture?

Well I'm not sure what you're saying, but at least I'd be able to understand a fart.

Bloodsucker

01-16-2015, 08:01 PM

Well I'm not sure what you're saying, but at least I'd be able to understand a fart.

What does it mean you said you don't. I am in agreement with you. We both speak fart. Right? kkkkkkkkkk!

Bry

01-16-2015, 09:49 PM

Deleted for off-topic trolling.

Alternately: the movie's fans getting angry whenever anyone pokes a little fun at it. S'all relative. Maybe if certain folks didn't get all cranky-pants whenever someone shares an opinion they don't like, we wouldn't get locked down every other week?

Besides - it's a thread about an "Everything Wrong With" video. Everyone should know what they're in for with this one, right?

http://media.giphy.com/media/y65VoOlimZaus/giphy.gif

Purse Grabbin Puke

01-16-2015, 10:03 PM

What does it mean you said you don't. I am in agreement with you. We both speak fart. Right? kkkkkkkkkk!

Google translate can't even figure out what you are saying.

Autbot_Benz

01-16-2015, 10:19 PM

Google translate can't even figure out what you are saying.

Donnatello couldn't build something to translate Bloodsuckers bad english.

Autbot_Benz

01-16-2015, 10:20 PM

Google translate can't even figure out what you are saying.

Donatello couldn't build something to translate Bloodsuckers bad english.

IndigoErth

01-16-2015, 10:26 PM

I'm kind of impressed so far no one has gotten defensive over it. Ya gotta have a sense of humor, I mean it really does fit into the "funny because it's true" category. :P And any movie is bound to have at least some... (Granted some details are still poorly thought out, and now funny in this format... others are simply minor and funny.) Heck, I saw that they did one for Tangled, which I love, and that was rather funny as well. (Although they missed pointing out/asking where she'd been keeping the satchel all day before she gives it back to Flynn! At least Mikey's similar skateboard mystery is solved. lol)

Think my fave part is the mention about them surely not spending what little money they have on excessive boomboxes. :lol: And picking on poor Leo a couple minutes later... (I'm sorry, buddy, it was only because of the way they said it. :trazz:) Making me laugh at electrocution parts of the movie that I otherwise don't care for... totally going to turtle hell now.

Amaranthus

01-17-2015, 03:19 AM

What does it mean you said you don't. I am in agreement with you. We both speak fart. Right? kkkkkkkkkk!

Why do you keep posting "kkkkkkkkkk!"?
Are you having a seizure?
Is there anything we can do to help?

Leo656

01-17-2015, 04:00 AM

I took an internet break for a couple days and I didn't see this yet. Luckily I have a day off from work. I expect the wife and I to have a grand old time watching this one later.

Powder

01-17-2015, 07:09 AM

Watched this in full when it debuted, pretty good stuff. Could easily knock the number up to 250-275 myself, based on things that don't click with the characters more so than general movie flaws, but I give them props for picking up on things that even the most angry & observant of fans didn't notice.

Leo656

01-17-2015, 07:20 AM

Also, people riding bikes in car lanes totally do deserve to become squish puddles. April, keep your toys at home, there's grown-ups trying to get to work. Nitwit.

I can foresee that years from now, I will have seen this video a few hundred times more than the actual movie. :lol: I like these guys, I've only seen a few of their vids but they're always pretty on point. I even really like it when they do ones of movies I really enjoy, part of me actually likes it better. Sometimes it just reminds me of jokes I've often made, or it'll point out something I missed before and actually get me to think.

This one was just begging for it, though. It's like they made the movie JUST to eventually have the longest "Everything Wrong With..." video ever made. :lol:

THGhost

01-17-2015, 07:45 AM

What's not to like?
It has Megan Fox, explosions and fart jokes, man!
What more can you want? Jesus.

We could do without Megan Fox, that's what. :roll: And the fart jokes. :P

Galactus

01-17-2015, 11:07 AM

What's not to like?
It has Megan Fox, explosions and fart jokes, man!
What more can you want? Jesus.

Some racial stereotypes and giant testicles obviously and we need to see one the turtles pee on the Foot in the sequel.

Slade

01-17-2015, 11:22 AM

Though the Vern-knowing-it-was-April-calling-from-a-payphone thing made me feel real stupid for not noticing :lol:

I noticed this the other day watching it with my son for the second time. :lol:

Can't see the video yet, I'm sure I'll love it.

IndigoErth

01-17-2015, 02:16 PM

and giant testicles
Suddenly I'm very afraid of the inclusion of a warthog and rhino. :lol: They'll prob leave the peeing to Casey...

Candy Kappa

01-17-2015, 02:18 PM

I am so glad there are no Tanuki mutants...

Commenter 42

01-17-2015, 02:24 PM

I am so glad there are no Tanuki mutants...

Googled that and came up with nothing but cute little raccoons. What is a Tanuki mutant?

Candy Kappa

01-17-2015, 02:27 PM

Googled that and came up with nothing but cute little raccoons. What is a Tanuki mutant?

Tanuki are Japanese racoon dogs, they are just superficial similar to actual racoons.

The males are known for having very large visible testicles. And in Japanese folklore Tanuki can shape-shift (just like foxes can) and males can even shape-shift the balls

Commenter 42

01-17-2015, 02:48 PM

Tanuki are Japanese racoon dogs, they are just superficial similar to actual racoons.

The males are known for having very large visible testicles. And in Japanese folklore Tanuki can shape-shift (just like foxes can) and males can even shape-shift the balls

OH! I see it now... LOLOLOLOLOL.

Jesus, that must be painfull!

Leo656

01-17-2015, 02:57 PM

They must not have ported that part over for the American version of Super Mario Bros. 3.

"IT'S-AH ME, MARIO! I GOTTA DE HUGE-A BALLS-AH!" :lol:

Candy Kappa

01-17-2015, 03:02 PM

luckily Mario uses the tail to fly... In the movie Pom Poko the racoon dogs uses their balls as hang gliders/parachutes (among other things) :lol:

Purse Grabbin Puke

01-17-2015, 08:07 PM

I'm kind of impressed so far no one has gotten defensive over it.

I know right? It's almost as if the people who like it, also have the ability to show restraint and respect? Interesting for sure!

Leo656

01-17-2015, 08:16 PM

luckily Mario uses the tail to fly... In the movie Pom Poko the racoon dogs uses their balls as hang gliders/parachutes (among other things) :lol:

Are we SURE that's his tail? 8-bit graphics were pretty primitive, after all. :tlol:

IndigoErth

01-17-2015, 08:24 PM

The males are known for having very large visible testicles. And in Japanese folklore Tanuki can shape-shift (just like foxes can) and males can even shape-shift the balls
Is it possible to unlearn something I learned today? No? lol

I know right? It's almost as if the people who like it, also have the ability to show restraint and respect? Interesting for sure!
What's this, bait? Casting it in the wrong direction, sorry. ;)

TrickOrTreater

01-17-2015, 08:25 PM

What's this, bait? Casting it in the wrong direction, sorry. ;)

It sure is.

Purse Grabbin Puke

01-17-2015, 11:21 PM

What's this, bait? Casting it in the wrong direction, sorry. ;)

I was simply making an observation.

THGhost

01-19-2015, 09:39 AM

I know Jeremy makes the odd mistake here and there, but forgetting about Mikey's "skateboard" being seen inside the lair was pretty careless of him. :P

IndigoErth

01-20-2015, 04:20 PM

Think we see it at least three times, he's also got it with him when they first meet April.

Never leave home without your rocketboard.™

Ignoring the fact that the loss of blood should have rendered him incapable of using it, let alone do anything else. lol