Has being a geek been hard on your love life?

[Creativemind]

As a geek/nerd I have been finding it difficult to meet a woman who is willing to date a guy who collects toys and watches cartoons/ reads comic books. I've had women try to change me and it really hurts. My first girlfriend/fiance left me because I refused to change to her standard of manly and sell off my collectibles and stop watching anime. The last girl I dated back in 2012 basically had the same plan even though she collected dolls.

It's rough out here in the real world for a nerd. :tsad:

Anyone else have similar issues?

[Slade]

Nope. Can't say it has. Though just from looking at me, you wouldn't tell I liked any of this stuff at all.

Like, I have sentimental reasons for being a Superman fan. I usually get a bunch of awws when females here it. :lol:

[Katie]

Nope. I've had plenty of boyfriends of all types. From preppy ken doll guys to fellow geeks. From jocks to insanely smart guys.

No one ever had a problem with my geeky interests.

[Cure]

It's rough out here in the real world for a nerd. :tsad:



No, it isn't. It might be just you, breh.

[Creativemind]

No, it isn't. It might be just you, breh.

Maybe its an age and generation thing. I'm not sure how old everyone is here but I'm 30. Back in 1997 to 2003 being a teenager who liked things like comic books and anime was a death sentence, or at least it was here in western Michigan. And that has seemed to follow me through my twenties. I'm not a very tall or athletic guy though so I have that against me too but I am outgoing.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Hmm, can't say it has since I left high school. Maybe back then it was a minor hurdle, but it actually HELPED me find my mate, and it certainly hasn't stopped me from finding friends- though oddly enough, most of my friends have been not only fellow nerds, but GUYS. Yup, I have had very few female friends since school, in fact most of them have been guys. (And a disproportionate number of them are/were gay, too....) But my hubby is one, too, to an extent. In fact part of the reason we got together is because we both love fantasy and sci-fi books, anime, and gaming!

[sdp]

A relationship is about making sacrifices and the bad news is very few normal girls who aren't geeks are going to be ok with a huge figure/comic/videogame collection that looks like you will be in the next episode of Hoarders. You really have to balance things out, I myself will be getting rid of a lot of my geek collectibles because I just don't have enough space and it's off putting to guests since it overwhelms them. Now these things are a part of your life and I like my geek stuff I'm just learning not to over do it and when it comes down to it when you have so much stuff you don't even enjoy half the stuff you have and sometimes we as collectors do show hoarder traits like putting emotional value in things, and that's when you have to decide what you prefer, your army of 3 3/4" stormtroopers, marathoning anime with subs or a relationship. Now of course if your SO wants you to get rid of everything or just doesn't like your geeky things as then yeah she isn't right for you but there's a difference between having a few figures and watching shows she doesn't enjoy and making it all your life. Just how you have to make sacrifices to be with her by not going overboard she needs to make sacrifices and allow you to like what you like. Of course if you find someone who is into the same stuff you are then you have no problem since she probably does it too, but that doesn't work for me since I'm usually more attracted to girls who are different than me. It's hard to give you better advice since you don't provide enough details.

[pennydreadful]

I'm a geek who met another geek - we just live in our geekiness together. I respect my partner too much to ever tell them to get rid of their collection; I really don't care how big it gets as long as I have a little space in the house that's mine. We have separate things that we're into and some that we're both into - it's really a non-issue.

I'm not the kind of person who'd ever be appealing to a "normal" person anyway, so no amount of nookie from anyone would ever make me ditch a hobby that meant a lot to me. I'd rather be alone than be with someone that shallow and judgmental. If someone wants to downsize of their own choice, that's another story and is fine, but giving up something you love just to please someone who can't like you for who you are - hell no.

I couldn't care less what someone's into, or how many comics/action figures they have - if I like someone, I like them for them. Are they gonna hold my head when I'm sick and puking? Can they make me laugh when I'm feeling down? Do I enjoy spending time with them? Will they still want to hang around with me when I'm a wrinkled old raisin? That's the sh*t that's important, IMO.

[Powder]

Hasn't been a problem at all. As a matter of fact, I've had better luck making friends & linking up with chicks once I went full geek-mode. For one thing, it helps to stick to your own kind, you know? A partner who is either into the same things or has their own geeky passions is gonna respect & maybe even share in your interest/hobbies. Maybe you're not being realistic with your expectations/choices or something. I mean, as a geek, I'm not gonna go after the Abercrombie wearing sports fan who's heavily into cosmetics, clothes, & pop radio, or whatever. I'm gonna seek those who are into the arts, books, technology, internet culture, comics/cartoons/etc.

& for what it's worth, I'm 24 years old & a fat bastard. But I've still managed to do pretty well for myself over the years.

[Peanut]

Never. I'll be 30 in November and never once have my interests had an adverse effect on a relationship I've had. I'm also not a socially inept slob who covers their house in toys either, so there's that. There's a line to everything, no matter how much you love something, that should never be crossed. I could never imagine putting posters or figures in my living room and not because my significant other thinks they're stupid, but because I'm a fully functioning adult first and an insufferable nerd second.

I'm not saying there aren't completely shallow people out there who will judge you based solely on your interests and write you off immediately. People still judge based on race and sexual preference, so of course they can sh*t on someone who owns a Hatsune Miku Nendoroid. However, I find that quite often there's a point where the so-called "nerd" label is used a scapegoat by the physically unattractive and emotionally stunted to justify their hatred for a woman who turned them down. If you're dating normal, decent people, you're generally going to have to do a lot more wrong than own an action figure and watch anime on the weekend to drive them away. It's the same issue I have with the "girls don't like nice guys" mentality out of the same group of people. They don't get that there are far greater issues at hand than "girls like jocks who treat them like sh*t" or whatever other nonsense they tell themselves at night.

It's a harsh reality, but it's true.

I mean, as a geek, I'm not gonna go after the Abercrombie wearing sports fan who's heavily into cosmetics, clothes, & pop radio, or whatever. I'm gonna seek those who are into the arts, books, technology, internet culture, comics/cartoons/etc.

Ehhhhh...I don't know if this is strictly the best advice to go by. I've dated very few people in "my scene" or whatever, but it always felt like a suffocating echo chamber. Sickness breeds sickness and being trapped in that space, needing that specific type of person to co-exist with, is dangerous during the dating phase of your life. To each their own, of course. Some people really do need that exact match to be happy, or to even have a chance at a happy relationship, but limiting yourself is never the answer. I think it's a good idea for this dude to run in his own circle a bit more, but to say maybe he shouldn't be looking for a partner outside of it is something I can't agree with, especially when he's in this situation where he'd rather call off a marriage than get rid of some toys.

My fiance is, outside of moral values and life goals, my complete opposite. It's because we're so different that I changed my tune at 19 and actually did something with my life. I wouldn't be as well rounded and successful as I am today without that view to the world outside my little comfort bubble of video games and bullsh*t on the Internet. Dealing outside of your comfort zone is the absolute best way to grow as a person.

[Creativemind]

A relationship is about making sacrifices and the bad news is very few normal girls who aren't geeks are going to be ok with a huge figure/comic/videogame collection that looks like you will be in the next episode of Hoarders. You really have to balance things out, I myself will be getting rid of a lot of my geek collectibles because I just don't have enough space and it's off putting to guests since it overwhelms them. Now these things are a part of your life and I like my geek stuff I'm just learning not to over do it and when it comes down to it when you have so much stuff you don't even enjoy half the stuff you have and sometimes we as collectors do show hoarder traits like putting emotional value in things, and that's when you have to decide what you prefer, your army of 3 3/4" stormtroopers, marathoning anime with subs or a relationship. Now of course if your SO wants you to get rid of everything or just doesn't like your geeky things as then yeah she isn't right for you but there's a difference between having a few figures and watching shows she doesn't enjoy and making it all your life. Just how you have to make sacrifices to be with her by not going overboard she needs to make sacrifices and allow you to like what you like. Of course if you find someone who is into the same stuff you are then you have no problem since she probably does it too, but that doesn't work for me since I'm usually more attracted to girls who are different than me. It's hard to give you better advice since you don't provide enough details. My collection is quite small actually. Mostly it's been because I like things at all. Though the area I live in is quite conservative. Most girls around here like country guys who rather get dirty and go offloading in big trucks. there really wasn't any nerd girls in my town until a few years ago but all the nerd geeky types around here are all in their teens and early twenties. Dang, I was really hoping this thread would make me feel not so alone and misunderstood but it's actually making me feel worse. :tcry:

[Leo656]

Dang, I was really hoping this thread would make me feel not so alone and misunderstood but it's actually making me feel worse. :tcry:

I was gonna say, I had a bad feeling it was gonna go that way for one reason or other. Even though some folks are just sharing their own experiences I can see how it can feel like "piling on".

My advice? Don't worry about it so much. One of my best buds has been in similar straights - even having a kid with a woman he shouldn't have even been with, just because he was so desperate to hang onto a relationship after being alone for so long... that ended in disaster - but now he's finally met "the right one", is happier than he's ever been, and is getting married soon. He's almost 35. And if anything, he's MORE of a geek now than when he was a kid (he does LARP and stuff like that, which probably would've gotten his ass kicked in high school if he wasn't captain of the wrestling team).

There's no blueprint for these things. Don't let a relationship, or lack of one, be the sole barometer of happiness in your life. Chin up, brother.

[pennydreadful]

Don't feel bad, dude.

Look, opinions are like @ssholes - everyone's got 'em and they usually stink. You won't find two people in this thread who have the exact same opinion on the matter regardless - I, for example, don't think it matters at all whether someone has posters or figures in their living room. YMMV. Some prefer action figures as decor, some prefer a bowl of waxed fruit. Neither one is right or wrong - it's your living space, you should do what the hell you want with it.

Within reason, of course - I wouldn't recommend taking decorating tips from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. :lol:

Seriously though, do what makes you happy. And don't be ashamed of your hobbies or passions, because that's part of what makes you you. If everyone were exactly the same, the world would be very boring.

Have you tried internet dating? Cuz that's how I met my partner - some folks here will doubtless laugh at that but hey, I'm antisocial and never go out - I was never going to meet anyone any other way. :P Nonetheless, there are plenty of normal, functional folks on online dating sites - why not take a crack at it?

[shuriken]

Hasn't been a problem at all. As a matter of fact, I've had better luck making friends & linking up with chicks once I went full geek-mode. For one thing, it helps to stick to your own kind, you know? A partner who is either into the same things or has their own geeky passions is gonna respect & maybe even share in your interest/hobbies. Maybe you're not being realistic with your expectations/choices or something. I mean, as a geek, I'm not gonna go after the Abercrombie wearing sports fan who's heavily into cosmetics, clothes, & pop radio, or whatever. I'm gonna seek those who are into the arts, books, technology, internet culture, comics/cartoons/etc.

& for what it's worth, I'm 24 years old & a fat bastard. But I've still managed to do pretty well for myself over the years.
:lol:
yes. I agree with all of this, its pretty much how I feel. Only that I'm not a fat bastard, but its refreshing to hear someone say that about themselves.

[Cure]

Maybe its an age and generation thing. I'm not sure how old everyone is here but I'm 30. Back in 1997 to 2003 being a teenager who liked things like comic books and anime was a death sentence, or at least it was here in western Michigan. And that has seemed to follow me through my twenties. I'm not a very tall or athletic guy though so I have that against me too but I am outgoing.

I'm only two years younger than you, homie. Also short and sickly. Soooo that's not it.

I'm gonna seek those who are into the arts, books, technology, internet culture, comics/cartoons/etc.

So be realz with me, if you met this fine honey who was super into you but she kept quoting memes incessantly, you'd be alright with that? If yes, it's cool, but I wouldn't, man.

[Peanut]

So be realz with me, if you met this fine honey who was super into you but she kept quoting memes incessantly, you'd be alright with that? If yes, it's cool, but I wouldn't, man.

"Oh, Powder! OOOH! So touch! Much sex! Y U NO talk!?"
"Uh...um...I..uh...zer...zerg?...Uh...sperm!? Sperm rush!? KEKEKE....ke..?"
"Powder...i am disapoint!"

[Leo656]

Have you tried internet dating? Cuz that's how I met my partner - some folks here will doubtless laugh at that but hey, I'm antisocial and never go out - I was never going to meet anyone any other way. :P Nonetheless, there are plenty of normal, functional folks on online dating sites - why not take a crack at it?

That's actually not bad advice. I've never done it, so I can't really speak to it, but I do know quite a few people who are in happy, long-term relationships that started through dating sites. I think some of the stigma surrounding it has mostly gone away. The old "go to a bar/club and pick up a conversation with whoever catches your eye, and expect that to lead to a healthy relationship" way of doing things has proven to be full of holes at best, and a recipe for disaster at worst. I mean, I've seen it work, but I've also seen cases where the bloom falls off the rose pretty damn quick.

Meanwhile, more and more people are finding out that, even though it's a little bit of a sterile and impersonal way of meeting people, being matched up with someone who has literally everything in common with you definitely has a lot of advantages and eliminates a lot of the guesswork. Obviously, there's intangibles like chemistry, but it seems like at the very least it would narrow the field a little bit.

I imagine it would be easier for a guy trying to find a partner that way than a girl. A guy is less likely to get inundated with creepy "So, wanna f***?" messages, for one thing.

[Cure]

"Oh, Powder! OOOH! So touch! Much sex! Y U NO talk!?"
"Uh...um...I..uh...zer...zerg?...Uh...sperm!? Sperm rush!? KEKEKE....ke..?"
"Powder...i am disapoint!"

Uuuuuuuuuuugh you're killing me!

[MsMarvelDuckie]

I'm not the kind of person who'd ever be appealing to a "normal" person anyway, so no amount of nookie from anyone would ever make me ditch a hobby that meant a lot to me. I'd rather be alone than be with someone that shallow and judgmental. If someone wants to downsize of their own choice, that's another story and is fine, but giving up something you love just to please someone who can't like you for who you are - hell no.

I couldn't care less what someone's into, or how many comics/action figures they have - if I like someone, I like them for them. Are they gonna hold my head when I'm sick and puking? Can they make me laugh when I'm feeling down? Do I enjoy spending time with them? Will they still want to hang around with me when I'm a wrinkled old raisin? That's the sh*t that's important, IMO.


Penny hit the nail on the head, here. It's a matter of respect and understanding that counts, no matter what a person enjoys or is into. I know my other half has teased me off and on over the years for my level of "geek-ness" being much higher than his. (My love of comics developed after we got together, and has grown since then, while he's kind of eased off his geek-ness.) But he still respects and appreciates me for who I am, even if he ribs me about my "obsessions" with turtles and dark elves on occasion. I take it in stride as the light poke it's intended as. And it reminds me to try to keep it in check- most of the time.

[Powder]

Have you tried internet dating?

I was gonna suggest that in my next post. Even if you're just looking (online) locally, it can make things SO much easier. Alternately, if you're really in need of the emotional connection more than the physical, there's always long distance dating. I've given that a whirl, too. Limitations aside, it can be pretty fulfilling so long as the person is right for you.

its refreshing to hear someone say that about themselves.

What, my admitting to being big? Do people try to act as if they're not? I sure as hell couldn't pull that off, at least not in person. :tlol:


So be realz with me, if you met this fine honey who was super into you but she kept quoting memes incessantly, you'd be alright with that? If yes, it's cool, but I wouldn't, man.

Noooooooooo, dear God, no. That's not at all what I meant. When I said internet culture I guess I just meant that they'd be involved in online fan communities or hang out on the same sites as me. Guess I should have been more specific. I can't stand people who use memespeak, online or otherwise. :dead: I can't even tolerate "XD" & excessive abbreviations, let alone that stuff.

[Netkeeper]

I'm invisible to the opposite sex. Well this part is true, but that's because I'm gay. :V Remember kiddies, not everyone wants the opposite gender.

I only make friends, much less date, with people that have similar interests. I don't know how to communicate if interests aren't shared. I don't think this dampens my love life at all, though.

[Creativemind]

Yeah, I've tried dating sites for ten years now. It goes great until they meet me In person.

[Netkeeper]

I don't know you, but generally people that actively seek relationships but have trouble tend to have personality aspects that romantic interests don't like for one reason or another. It rarely has anything to do with interests and hobbies.

[Leo656]

Yeah, I've tried dating sites for ten years now. It goes great until they meet me In person.

Without prying too deeply, any idea why that might be? Just curious.

[TheBlueTurtle1]

If so one judges you so harshly then find someone else.

[Creativemind]

Without prying too deeply, any idea why that might be? Just curious.

Most I just never hear from again others say it's because we didn't have enough in common and the there are a few that have told me I am too fat. The kicker of it is the girls who rejected me for my weight were just as overweight as myself. But the few that stick around long enough and date me for weeks eventually leave because they find out things about me they find embarrassing like one girl after two weeks found out I play D&D and stopped talking to me. I ran m into her at a bar years later, she was drunk and confessed to me that she thought I was a loser when she found out.

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Most I just never hear from again others say it's because we didn't have enough in common and the there are a few that have told me I am too fat. The kicker of it is the girls who rejected me for my weight were just as overweight as myself. But the few that stick around long enough and date me for weeks eventually leave because they find out things about me they find embarrassing like one girl after two weeks found out I play D&D and stopped talking to me. I ran m into her at a bar years later, she was drunk and confessed to me that she thought I was a loser when she found out.


That is sad. Sounds like that chick has a shallow view of what it means to be a loser. Though perhaps you might be more upfront about that in your hobbies/interests part of your dating profiles? Heck, there ARE gamer-chicks out there- I'm one of 'em- so it may just be a matter of adjusting your profile to include those things. Trust me, the right one is out here, and you'll find 'em eventually- it just takes a little patience and sometimes, the right kind of help. BTW, I'm good with love-spells!!! (ie, finding or blossoming, not forcing it, just to be clear here. I'm a witch-LOVE-doctor, LOL!!)

[Powder]

Not to excuse shallow behavior, but if people can't tell that you're a hardcore geek based on your self-descriptions or that you're fat from your photos, they're not entirely at fault. Plus, if you're trying to date people that aren't into the same things as you, a personality clash is to be expected, & again, that's on you. Sounds to me like you're not going about things the right way.

[Candy Kappa]

being a geek have not been any dampener om my love life. The way I asked my partner out was "My Charisma versus Will" and I rolled a d20 die.

[Leo656]

Honestly it does sound like you could stand to do a little self-improvement. In part, it sounds like you may not always be as upfront with people beforehand as you should be, which I understand if you're worried about scaring them off before they even meet you, but it's deceptive and self-defeating.

Secondly, regardless of whether or not the girl is overweight, very few girls are super-attracted to heavier guys. I don't know you or what you look like, but if that's a common complaint, you may want to do something about that. Not trying to sound harsh, but with most girls, personality and common interests only go so far when it comes to what kind of guys they go for. Lots of girls are a little bit more shallow than they're willing to admit, that's just a fact of life.

Not trying to be a jerk or anything, just going off of the little info you've shared it sounds like you could tighten up your game a little bit.

[pennydreadful]

Do you think maybe you're trying to hide some parts of yourself - like your hobbies - because you feel ashamed of them? That could be part of the problem.

I don't think that someone's life is meaningless unless they're in a relationship - it's nice to meet someone, sure, but it's not essential to a fulfilling life.

That being said... if someone like me can end up in a long-term relationship, anyone can.

My advice is to be yourself, warts and all. Because I promise you, there are women out there who like D&D, and TMNT, and comics - hell, we've got several of them here. Geekery and relationships aren't mutually exclusive, and people of all weights are in relationships.

[pandaderek]

For some people, it's convenient that their significant other shares similar interests. For me, it's boring. All my hobbies are done at my own pace or are dependent on my situation; I'm never in competition with anyone, I'm very private with my hobbies. Like, I don't try to keep up with the latest episodes of Ninja Turtles to discuss it with others. I'll watch it when I feel like it. I'm willing to put my interest on hold, to tour through other people's interests, especially, food.

Honestly, from my experience, when you meet a lot of people, your interests will change because you will be introduced to a lot more things. Eventually, you'll lose interests in old hobbies. I used to build computers, for fun, and loved playing old video games on my 386 (*high five* to my computer nerds know who know what a 386 is). Now, I watch a lot of movies, especially, chick flicks with my girl. I even let her put make-up on me, so that she could practice for school (no pictures will be provided).

So, you have to make a choice in how social you want to be. If you just want to be social with people with similar interests, then, you're decreasing your chances to be in a relationship. But, if you're willing share new interests, you're opening your chances to be with more people. I prefer the latter, because I've experienced and shared so many things with many great people, that I would've given up a lot more of my hobbies, earlier, if I knew ahead of time.

But, that's just my experience.

[Katie]

I don't think it's necessarily true that girls tend to gravitate away from heavy guys. I have found that looking back on the guys I've dated that it's actually my type for a guy to be shorter and heavier (not muscely though. I don't like muscely guys)

And in my life I have ranged from overweight to anorexic small so it really never is a reflection of my size.

For every body type out there, there is someone who finds it attractive.

And I agree with not limiting to similar hobbies. Just be honest about who you are (because nothing is more of a turn off than someone hiding something) and be a regular somewhere. You'll find someone.

[Creativemind]

Well this part is true, but that's because I'm gay. :V Remember kiddies, not everyone wants the opposite gender. Oops. Yeah, sorry. Didn't think that through.

[ShelleyQuick]

Nope, my husband is just as much of a geek as I am. He won't admit though:D

[Creativemind]

Do you think maybe you're trying to hide some parts of yourself - like your hobbies - because you feel ashamed of them? That could be part of the problem.

I don't think that someone's life is meaningless unless they're in a relationship - it's nice to meet someone, sure, but it's not essential to a fulfilling life.

That being said... if someone like me can end up in a long-term relationship, anyone can.

My advice is to be yourself, warts and all. Because I promise you, there are women out there who like D&D, and TMNT, and comics - hell, we've got several of them here. Geekery and relationships aren't mutually exclusive, and people of all weights are in relationships.

I'd say I'm pretty upfront about things. I just think women skim my profile. When it comes to my weight though it's usually something they thought they could see past but then decided later that they can not. Here is one of my photos that leaves nothing out.
https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t31.0-8/1926082_10205297886869455_3145066894067677193_o.jp g

[Netkeeper]

You've got a cute face, honestly. I've known bigger guys that have found people. Patience, my friend.

[TheBlueTurtle1]

Honestly it does sound like you could stand to do a little self-improvement. In part, it sounds like you may not always be as upfront with people beforehand as you should be, which I understand if you're worried about scaring them off before they even meet you, but it's deceptive and self-defeating.

Secondly, regardless of whether or not the girl is overweight, very few girls are super-attracted to heavier guys. I don't know you or what you look like, but if that's a common complaint, you may want to do something about that. Not trying to sound harsh, but with most girls, personality and common interests only go so far when it comes to what kind of guys they go for. Lots of girls are a little bit more shallow than they're willing to admit, that's just a fact of life.

Not trying to be a jerk or anything, just going off of the little info you've shared it sounds like you could tighten up your game a little bit.

I agree with this for the most part. I guess it's about balance. You need to make some effort, because most people are shallow to some degree. If your weight is an issue, make it better! You don't need to become Slim Jim of the year, but it would be better for your health.

I think the main part of being in a relationship, is comparise.

Talk out your problems and see if you can meet in the middle.

[Creativemind]

I agree with this for the most part. I guess it's about balance. You need to make some effort, because most people are shallow to some degree. If your weight is an issue, make it better! You don't need to become Slim Jim of the year, but it would be better for your health.

Trust me, I've been working on it. I'm actually scheduled for weight loss surgery, which I'm terrified of.

[shuriken]

^^That's sounds pretty heavy. Pardon the pun. I had a friend of mine get her stomach stapled. She lost like a fifty pounds in a year but slowly gained it all back and then some. Wish you luck and wellness man.



What, my admitting to being big? Do people try to act as if they're not? I sure as hell couldn't pull that off, at least not in person. :tlol:


Well I've met quite a few people that are in denial. Although it's mostly women that I've heard. Guys don't have as much pressure to fit the societal mold as much as women I suppose. Not saying its like that everywhere, just going by personal experience.

[TheBlueTurtle1]

I am sure you will be fine:)

[Leo656]

Just curious but what exactly have you done to work on it so far? I ask because typically, that's a last-resort kind of solution. In that respect, your trepidation is understandable.

Keep in mind - as I'm sure you've been advised already - that in a sadly large number of cases, most of the recipients gain most if not all of the weight back within a few years. Especially if they don't undertake some radical lifestyle changes... which, ironically enough, would in some cases have prevented the need for surgery in the first place had they made those changes sooner.

Not putting heat on you or anything, I'm sure (or I'd hope) they've gone over all of this with you already. It's just literally my job to help nudge people in the right direction on things like this.

^^That's sounds pretty heavy. Pardon the pun. I had a friend of mine get her stomach stapled. She lost like a fifty pounds in a year but slowly gained it all back and then some. Wish you luck and wellness man.


Exactly. In a lot of cases, the person thinks they are "magically" thin now and can go back to the same lifestyle habits that got them in trouble in the first place without consequence. It's not just people who have the surgery, either. At the gym, tragically often I have people ask me, "So once I hit my goal, when can I STOP doing all this stuff?" Uhhh, NEVER? Some people somehow think their bodies are morphing statues that stay frozen in one place once they hit a magical, genetically predetermined "target" at one extreme or the other. I don't know what gives them that idea, but it's depressingly common.

[Amaranthus]

I have no love life.

[Creativemind]

Just curious but what exactly have you done to work on it so far? I ask because typically, that's a last-resort kind of solution. In that respect, your trepidation is understandable.

Keep in mind - as I'm sure you've been advised already - that in a sadly large number of cases, most of the recipients gain most if not all of the weight back within a few years. Especially if they don't undertake some radical lifestyle changes... which, ironically enough, would in some cases have prevented the need for surgery in the first place had they made those changes sooner.

Not putting heat on you or anything, I'm sure (or I'd hope) they've gone over all of this with you already. It's just literally my job to help nudge people in the right direction on things like this.



Exactly. In a lot of cases, the person thinks they are "magically" thin now and can go back to the same lifestyle habits that got them in trouble in the first place without consequence. It's not just people who have the surgery, either. At the gym, tragically often I have people ask me, "So once I hit my goal, when can I STOP doing all this stuff?" Uhhh, NEVER? Some people somehow think their bodies are morphing statues that stay frozen in one place once they hit a magical, genetically predetermined "target" at one extreme or the other. I don't know what gives them that idea, but it's depressingly common.
I've been exercising and calorie counting but unfortunatley I am now unable to exercise due to a Knee injury. I have severe inflammation that is going to require surgery but they won't do surgery until I lose at least 80 lbs so I was referred to a surgeon by the rheumatologist. Don't misunderstand though. I haven't given up on exercise I just can't do this on exercise alone. I don't even eat more than the average person I just absorb sugar differently than most is how my doctor put it. When I eat bread or something else with added sugars my body stores it as fat where as someone like my brother who eats candy all the time yet is 130 lbs absorbs very little of the sugar and just dumps the rest out of his system when he goes to the bathroom. The surgery will n ot only limit how much I can eat but can change how my body processes sugar also.

[Toitlefan]

Have no shame for who/what you are CreativeMind. I used to hide my geeky side but realized one day that if you don't embrace it no one will appreciate the real you. If they don't appreciate the real you then they don't deserve a place in your life. My girlfriend will joke around about me being a turtle nerd but I wear it with pride. Confidence goes a long way.

One other very important thing to remember (and something you can use as an argument), EVERYONE is some type of geek. There are music geeks, car/truck geeks, computer geeks and yes, even sports geeks. My girlfriend has a passion for geology and collects rocks. She calls me a turtle nerd, I call her a rock nerd. Ive been to multiple horror conventions and they are no less geeky than comic conventions. It's all a matter of perspective.

[ssjup81]

I was gonna say, I had a bad feeling it was gonna go that way for one reason or other. Even though some folks are just sharing their own experiences I can see how it can feel like "piling on".

My advice? Don't worry about it so much. One of my best buds has been in similar straights - even having a kid with a woman he shouldn't have even been with, just because he was so desperate to hang onto a relationship after being alone for so long... that ended in disaster - but now he's finally met "the right one", is happier than he's ever been, and is getting married soon. He's almost 35. And if anything, he's MORE of a geek now than when he was a kid (he does LARP and stuff like that, which probably would've gotten his ass kicked in high school if he wasn't captain of the wrestling team).

There's no blueprint for these things. Don't let a relationship, or lack of one, be the sole barometer of happiness in your life. Chin up, brother.You know, I didn't know what LARP was until the Nick turtles show. I'd never heard of it.

Going back on-topic, Leo, as usual, is right. You shouldn't stress over it.

[Leo656]

Gotcha brother. Just had to ask.

[Amaranthus]

Nope. I've had plenty of boyfriends of all types. From preppy ken doll guys to fellow geeks. From jocks to insanely smart guys.

No one ever had a problem with my geeky interests.

That's because men don't have standards.
Nah, just kidding.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

That being said... if someone like me can end up in a long-term relationship, anyone can.

My advice is to be yourself, warts and all. Because I promise you, there are women out there who like D&D, and TMNT, and comics - hell, we've got several of them here. Geekery and relationships aren't mutually exclusive, and people of all weights are in relationships.

Have you tried finding or joining a community of people with similar interests? Comics stores, book stores (Barnes & Noble, et al), gaming stores all sometimes host community-type events or groups, where you might be able to find some people of similar interest. Become friends, and then see if it can go anywhere deeper. My two cents.

Myself, my wife and I share some of the same geeky interests (Pixar/Dreamworks, Captain America, Guardians of the Galaxy, Narnia, Tolkien, the Flash) but some of it I'm on my own (TMNT, Batman, Arrow). It's like a Venn diagram; I like some stuff exclusively, she likes some stuff exclusively, and we have some shared fandoms.

[Dirty Blond]

I would be legit embarrassed if my girlfriend was into Cosplay, and I don't mean she dated Bill Cosby.

[Prowler]

It's fine as long as you're confident and not obsessed with your hobby. It's not so much about being a "geek". It will only hold you back if you go overboard and act awkward. Adult life isn't high school.

There's shallow people yes... but don't waste time on them.

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

No not at all.

That's because I don't have a Love life :tcry:

[Amaranthus]

No not at all.

That's because I don't have a Love life :tcry:

I totally ninja'd you.
Let's be sad together.

[plastroncafe]

My geekery has never negatively impacted my love life.

My social ineptness, insecurities, and neuroses...on the other hand...
Those take time and hard work to overcome. But man...lemme tell you, so worth it. So so worth it.

My suggestion: Paging Dr NerdLove. (http://www.doctornerdlove.com/)

I would be legit embarrassed if my girlfriend was into Cosplay, and I don't mean she dated Bill Cosby.

Really? Well we all have our deal breakers.
Takes all kinds to make a world.

[BubblyShell22]

Not at all. My BF loves TMNT just like I do, and though he watches the show, he's not nearly as obsessed as I am about it, and that's okay. He's also a huge Star Wars fan, and though I've never gotten into that particular fandom per se, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't want to. I'd be willing to give the movies a chance just to see what they're like. We like some things together and some things on our own, but that's okay. It's all about balance and respecting each other, and that's the key to a good relationship no matter what you like or don't like. If a woman/man can't see that, then they're all wrong for you. And as others have said, you don't have to be in a relationship to be happy. Just keep your chin up and when you're not looking, the right one will come along. That's what happened to me, and we've been together for eleven years.

[pennydreadful]

I'd say I'm pretty upfront about things. I just think women skim my profile. When it comes to my weight though it's usually something they thought they could see past but then decided later that they can not. Here is one of my photos that leaves nothing out.
https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t31.0-8/1926082_10205297886869455_3145066894067677193_o.jp g

This is kind of a long post, but bear with me! I've seen people much heavier than you in relationships. It seems that you're unhappy with your weight and you're working on it, which is great - but don't by any means think that you need to look like a supermodel to attract someone.

I think what a lot of people forget is that looks fade - personality is forever. When you're 60 and you've wrinkled up to the point that your entire body feels like so much elbow skin, you need to be able to still enjoy talking to your partner. Of course looks matter (anyone who says otherwise is lying), but they matter more to some people than others. For me, I don't care how hot someone is - if they're a douchebag, I'm not going to be attracted them.

Conversely, someone who is not a chiseled monument to the beauty of the human form will still be attractive to me if they've got a good personality. My partner's a bigger dude - hell, I never thought that I'd ever be in a relationship with a man anyway; I always pictured my life partner as being a woman. But I met someone whose meat-suit just happened to be in the shape of a big hairy Irish dude with a shaved head and lo and behold - we clicked. Sometimes the shape of the container doesn't matter so much, y'know? It's what's inside it.

And based on your photo, you look like a person who would be interesting to talk to - I'd be more inclined to strike up a conversation with you based on your cosplay, because I think it looks awesome (and medieval stuff just rocks). Just because some people are put off by cosplay or D&D or comics does not mean that everyone is. Some people like to seek out partners who are different from them - some like to stick with those who are similar. Like I said earlier, we're all different.

Don't worry so much about how you're perceived, or about what others think of you. Just be yourself and you'll probably be surprised by how many people end up liking you just the way you are, whether they're friends or lovers. Sure, you can go through life worrying about whether you're "socially acceptable" in other peoples' eyes, but it seems like a lot of effort for something that doesn't matter a whole lot, IMO. We only get one life on this miserable dustball - spend it doing what makes you happy, not trying to fit into what people think you should be.

http://www.thecraftynerd.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/smdub.jpg

Trust me, I've been working on it. I'm actually scheduled for weight loss surgery, which I'm terrified of.

The surgery will n ot only limit how much I can eat but can change how my body processes sugar also.

What kind of surgery are you going for - is it going to be gastric banding? I don't know what your diet's like but I'd suggest upping your protein and lowering your carbs as well, if sugar is a problem.

[XERO]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10301513_824593250903346_7201435729006397958_n.jpg ?oh=0b2d2a4fe54c415dd4899fa81afe763f&oe=5567D3D3&__gda__=1431660378_d4ca34691141f7e77cac8141f224c9f 3

I'm not the greatest looking person on the planet, and I can't move around as good as I used to due to my muscle condition, but I take what I do have and what I can offer. Believe it or not, what I have, my "charisma" or whatever you want to call it, it attracts people. Back then, I used to consider myself a geek-ish type. I even have a TMNT poster (that I got at an convention) on my closet door, along with a Scott Pilgrim poster on my main door.

I'm also 30 years old and just had my first kiss last month by one of my closest female friends. I'm not gonna f*ck that up and say she's my girlfriend, but it has to mean something if she always comes over just to hang out with me. No other girl has done that, let alone come over. And she accepts me for who and what I am, so that obviously means a lot to me, too.

So, either I'm paranoid as f*ck, or I have the patience of a snail. I already have the speed of one, haha. Either way, I think that answers this thread's question, somewhat.

[Netkeeper]

Having sex burns calories...

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10301513_824593250903346_7201435729006397958_n.jpg ?oh=0b2d2a4fe54c415dd4899fa81afe763f&oe=5567D3D3&__gda__=1431660378_d4ca34691141f7e77cac8141f224c9f 3

I'm not the greatest looking person on the planet, and I can't move around as good as I used to due to my muscle condition, but I take what I do have and what I can offer. Believe it or not, what I have, my "charisma" or whatever you want to call it, it attracts people. Back then, I used to consider myself a geek-ish type. I even have a TMNT poster (that I got at an convention) on my closet door, along with a Scott Pilgrim poster on my main door.

I'm also 30 years old and just had my first kiss last month by one of my closest female friends. I'm not gonna f*ck that up and say she's my girlfriend, but it has to mean something if she always comes over just to hang out with me. No other girl has done that, let alone come over. And she accepts me for who and what I am, so that obviously means a lot to me, too.

So, either I'm paranoid as f*ck, or I have the patience of a snail. I already have the speed of one, haha. Either way, I think that answers this thread's question, somewhat.

Genuinely happy for you, bro!

[lindz247]

Having sex burns calories...
Umm... :lol:

Not really interested in love life yet but I still crush...I'm not crazy.
When I see a boy I like I freeze up and put on the awkward mode haha
I have plenty of friends too (most girls) and almost all know I like TMNT no problem.
I like being single anyway and it's fun to flirt sometimes but not too hard

[Slade]

^^ How old are you again though?

[snake]

So be realz with me, if you met this fine honey who was super into you but she kept quoting memes incessantly, you'd be alright with that? If yes, it's cool, but I wouldn't, man.

Damnit Cure! I was going to post that!


Anyone who quotes memes is automatically ignored by me.

[B-Man]

This has been a real interesting thread. Good to see everyones take on love & geekdom. Good on you, Xero. Be patient, Creativemind. You're clearly a good dude so it's just a matter of time. If you don't mind, I hope you both keep us updated. Anything I'd add, Leo has already said. Best dating advice I can give is one thats never failed me. I've had failed relationships but not a single failed first date - Go to dinner, have a wine or maybe two (very important) to get rid of those first date nerves so she's not getting a scared/muted/boring version of you (which may have been whats messed up previous dates). She'll get the Real you. Take initiative, get a fun convo going where you're swapping what your hobbies & interests are so it's all being layed out on the table. You could do the favourites game, where you're swapping what your favourite *blank*'s are. Just through conversation you'll know pretty fast whether this person is for you. Then go see a movie together. There's something about being in a dark theater sat next to eachother that is inherently romantic. By default, you already look like a couple. By the end of the night you should have an idea about what she thinks of you so far and it's all based on the real you :)

[lindz247]

^^ How old are you again though?
Thirteen-going-on-fourteen. :)

[Slade]

Thirteen-going-on-fourteen. :)

Yeah, don't worry about love for a while then..matter of fact, when you think you found it, run away. :lol:

I'm messing with you.

[lindz247]

Yeah, don't worry about love for a while then..matter of fact, when you think you found it, run away. :lol:

I'm messing with you.
Thanks for the advice. Besides, we can't go on dates right so what's the point?

[Creativemind]

This is kind of a long post, but bear with me! I've seen people much heavier than you in relationships. It seems that you're unhappy with your weight and you're working on it, which is great - but don't by any means think that you need to look like a supermodel to attract someone.

I think what a lot of people forget is that looks fade - personality is forever. When you're 60 and you've wrinkled up to the point that your entire body feels like so much elbow skin, you need to be able to still enjoy talking to your partner. Of course looks matter (anyone who says otherwise is lying), but they matter more to some people than others. For me, I don't care how hot someone is - if they're a douchebag, I'm not going to be attracted them.

Conversely, someone who is not a chiseled monument to the beauty of the human form will still be attractive to me if they've got a good personality. My partner's a bigger dude - hell, I never thought that I'd ever be in a relationship with a man anyway; I always pictured my life partner as being a woman. But I met someone whose meat-suit just happened to be in the shape of a big hairy Irish dude with a shaved head and lo and behold - we clicked. Sometimes the shape of the container doesn't matter so much, y'know? It's what's inside it.

And based on your photo, you look like a person who would be interesting to talk to - I'd be more inclined to strike up a conversation with you based on your cosplay, because I think it looks awesome (and medieval stuff just rocks). Just because some people are put off by cosplay or D&D or comics does not mean that everyone is. Some people like to seek out partners who are different from them - some like to stick with those who are similar. Like I said earlier, we're all different.

Don't worry so much about how you're perceived, or about what others think of you. Just be yourself and you'll probably be surprised by how many people end up liking you just the way you are, whether they're friends or lovers. Sure, you can go through life worrying about whether you're "socially acceptable" in other peoples' eyes, but it seems like a lot of effort for something that doesn't matter a whole lot, IMO. We only get one life on this miserable dustball - spend it doing what makes you happy, not trying to fit into what people think you should be.

http://www.thecraftynerd.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/smdub.jpg





What kind of surgery are you going for - is it going to be gastric banding? I don't know what your diet's like but I'd suggest upping your protein and lowering your carbs as well, if sugar is a problem.

Interesting story about my cosplay. It was for a stage performance. I act in plays from time to time. I had that costume made for less than $40. As for the surgery you asked, it's a gastric sleeve. They cut 70% of the stomach out.

[Cure]

I don't think it's right to baby this guy. Listen, man, you probably ruined the best thing you were gonna get by not being able to compromise. I'm sure if you spoke with this chick at the time, you could have come to some agreement.

"Aight, baby, chill. I'll give up my ish, just lemme keep the ones that mean the most to me, lemon drop".

Unless she was an awful person, she would have probably agreed.

Anyway, going forward, don't be a nerd first. Don't open with goddamned cosplay and anime; be a human being first. Your hobbies are not your identity.

[Sage Ninja]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10301513_824593250903346_7201435729006397958_n.jpg ?oh=0b2d2a4fe54c415dd4899fa81afe763f&oe=5567D3D3&__gda__=1431660378_d4ca34691141f7e77cac8141f224c9f 3


holy crap man, you look so much like my ex it's not even funny....:o

[MsMarvelDuckie]

Anyway, going forward, don't be a nerd first. Don't open with goddamned cosplay and anime; be a human being first. Your hobbies are not your identity.

Actually, just be YOURSELF first. If a nerd you be, then OWN it, baby! And nerd are human beings, too, so I have no idea what the heck Cure's point even was with that. Just put yourself out there as you are, and if a person can't accept you for YOURSELF, they aren't worth your time anyway. Hobbies may not be our identities, but they say a LOT about who we are as people and what we love and value.

[Netkeeper]

Anyone who quotes memes is automatically ignored by me.
http://i.imgur.com/8VASwZf.jpg

[pennydreadful]

Last I checked, nerds are human beings.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m55lgwOVYX1qj2oa8.gif

OP, as I said - you're going to get different opinions from everyone on this. But as you've tried hiding your hobbies and it hasn't worked for you - I say try not hiding them and see how it goes.

I think it's a waste of time judging someone else based on their hobbies. At the end of the day, everyone gets out of bed and puts on their pants one leg at a time, just like the rest of the planet. What makes someone better than someone else isn't how nerdy they are or aren't - it's their character. Things like kindness, honesty, a sense of humor - that's what's important.

[Leo656]

Having sex burns calories...

Actually I think there was a study done recently that said any kind of "exercise" benefit only kicks in if a person's "sessions" are upwards of an hour, and frequent. Common stats say most folks only kick if for anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes. So anyone looking to burn calories through coitus is better off just going for a brisk jog. Just sayin'.

Xero: Hope it works out for you man. I now you've been dealt a crummy hand in life and have been beyond patient. You know my feelings on relationships in general, but everybody deserves to be happy, so I hope it all works out.
-------------------------------------------

As for other comments of various degrees of judgmental-ness: Honestly, I think the weight issue is the real one, not the "nerd" issue. Most girls I know don't care what a guy is into, so long as he pays attention to her and goes along with what she's into as well. Just like most girls don't care about "nerd stuff", lots of them don't care about sports, either, but they'll either play along or just ignore it, so long as they get their fair share of attention.

BUT, at the same time, girls travel in packs, and are generally hyper-sensitive to what their "friends" think of any guy they're with. And girls care more about looks than guys do, on the whole. There's only so much "He's a nice guy, but... isn't he a little... big?" that most girls would be willing to listen to. To some degree - and it varies, for sure - but to some degree, we all want a "trophy" we can show off, if for no other reason than most people are shallow.

Again, I'm not trying to make a blanket statement, this is simply what I've ascertained over a lifetime of most of my closest friends being girls. Looks and money are the two biggest deal-breakers, not at all how a guy spends his free time. Most girls care just as little about football as they do about Final Fantasy, but they WILL put up with it either way... IF the guy has abs.

Obviously "exceptions" etc. etc. I just feel like some folks are putting too much emphasis on hobbies and I genuinely do not think that's what the issue is.

[Creativemind]

Actually, just be YOURSELF first. If a nerd you be, then OWN it, baby! And nerd are human beings, too, so I have no idea what the heck Cure's point even was with that. Just put yourself out there as you are, and if a person can't accept you for YOURSELF, they aren't worth your time anyway. Hobbies may not be our identities, but they say a LOT about who we are as people and what we love and value.

Right? That's what I thought when I read that. And when it comes to hobbies my art is my hobbie and my art is most definitely part of who I am.

[Katie]

I disagree, Leo.

It's a choice to chase after those vapid females who are shallow. ever heard of love shies and PUA's? They think like that. 99% of those people's problems involve wanting a girl like that and ignoring better quality girls. Because they aren't "10's" or whatever.

I know there are girls out there who are shallow like that. Everyone needs to stay away from them anyway. Who needs em.

For every body type there are people who will be attracted to it. No whether you are attracted to them is a different problem.

Not all girls who aren't shallow are ugos either. We just don't hang out at bars and clubs and places where those kinds do.

[Leo656]

I did, if you notice, mention "exceptions" etc. etc.

I also waste lots of time reading about relationship studies and things like that and what people self-report that they look for or value in relationships. On the female end, most women self-report that looks and money are huge factors and don't care what their guy is into, so long as he at least pays attention to her and her interests as well. So I doubt they're lying, is all. Takes a certain type of bravery to admit, "Yes, I'm shallow, I value looks over common interests", and yet, lots of them do admit it, albeit anonymously.

So, again, I know there are lots of women who don't care about looks. But I'm still pretty sure they're the exception, not the rule.

Keep in mind, lots of guys can be shallow, too, but shockingly enough, a lot of that in my experience is pretense. Lots of guys' standards are way looser than they'd ever admit. I've seen guys, in a group, pass a reasonably-hot girl on the street, and claim "Nah, no way, she's not hot, b/c face/ass/breasts (too much, not enough, take your pick)", and yet, their wives/girlfriends look like the bus driver on South Park. It's that pack mentality, not wanting to be judged by others based on what they're willing to "settle" for. By and large, though, most guys will "settle for less" while lots of girls won't.

And again, that's not everyone, that's just statistically.

[Katie]

I saw you said exception. My stance is that in the circles this guy might be traveling in, he's more likely to run into the non shallow group. If hes LARPing my guess is girls in that circle aren't too hung up on looks

Again, it's a choice to chase that type. Just like girls can choose to pursue better guys.

Those shallow "looks and money" girls will only end up divorcing you down the road. Why bother?

[Leo656]

All fair points. Again, I mostly just speak in the broad sense. Obviously there's always going to be mitigating circumstances.

And absolutely, most of those types find out way too late that they should have had better priorities to begin with. Sure doesn't seem to make anyone learn anything, though.

[Katie]

I will say, though, that even though looks and money mean nothing to me, you do have to be hygienic. Nothing turns me off more than someone who smells bad with BO or dirty clothes for days on end or bad breath.

don't have to be a Greek god. Do have to shower and be clean.

[The Stryker]

Yeah. Probably don't wanna LEAD with the cloak and magic stuff homie.

[plastroncafe]

Ugh, PUAs need to go away. Forever.

[Leo656]

Care to translate for the abbreviation-impaired?

[Whatswiththeheadbands?]

Care to translate for the abbreviation-impaired?

A pickup artist (commonly abbreviated PUA) is a person who practices finding, attracting, and seducing sexual partners. Such a person purportedly abides by a certain system deemed effective by that community in their attempts to seduce partners.

Here, you go^^

[Leo656]

Ah, k thanks, I really should've known that. Although I'm also kind of medicated at the moment.

[XERO]

holy crap man, you look so much like my ex it's not even funny....:o

Sad thing is, I look like a lot of girls' exes. Just call me an Ex-Man. Haha.

And Leo, I do know your stance in relationships, which is why I choose not to follow it. I'm finding happiness in just being with the girl I like being around with, and she at least shows the same feelings back. And I didn't have to be a PUA or friggin' LARP to attract her. All I know is, she means a lot to me right now, and I'll be damned if I lose her because I took some advice that could potentially alter that.

[Leo656]

For your sake, I'll just hope for the best and that she doesn't change.

They usually do. BUT, you're a good guy so I hope she doesn't.

[Netkeeper]

Actually I think there was a study done recently that said any kind of "exercise" benefit only kicks in if a person's "sessions" are upwards of an hour, and frequent. Common stats say most folks only kick if for anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes. So anyone looking to burn calories through coitus is better off just going for a brisk jog. Just sayin'.
Yeah, but having sex is much more fun than jogging. :V

On the female end, most women self-report that looks and money are huge factors and don't care what their guy is into, so long as he at least pays attention to her and her interests as well. So I doubt they're lying, is all. Takes a certain type of bravery to admit, "Yes, I'm shallow, I value looks over common interests", and yet, lots of them do admit it, albeit anonymously.
I'm not a woman, but I will say that money is a big factor for me. But then again, I need a doctor, so of course I'm going to gold-dig.

[Mayhem]

Yeah, but having sex is much more fun than jogging. :V
Horizontal jogging? :P

[snake]

http://i.imgur.com/8VASwZf.jpg

Stop. Stop it.

[BubblyShell22]

Good luck with that relationship, XERO. I say take it slow and see how things come along. Just don't go too fast with it and let it happen on its own time. That's the best way to approach things.

[senpai]

Well...Considering that now it's cool to be "a geek" (whatever that means) I'd say it hasn't been hard at all. In the past though, I was super secret about my interests and would always hide it from boyfriends. It's sad, I know. I put that life behind me now. Not because it's now hip to be a nerd but because it's too exhausting.