Iron Man 3 Graded Review

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

So as I mentioned over on the Bebop & Rocksteady discussion thread, I've been planning to do a graded critical review and comparison between the two main TMNT movies, the 1990 original and the 2014 reboot. But first, I had to beta test my grading system, so I picked a controversial movie I've been meaning to reevaluate since first seeing it in theaters... hope you enjoy!

FINAL SCORE: -66

≤ -30 F-
-29 to -11 D-
-10 to 10 C
11 to 29 B+
≥ 30 A+

F-

Final Opinion:

This movie is the "Wolverine" of the X-Men Franchise. Such a promising start, such a terrible ending with a misused villain we were all looking forward to seeing.

I feel like Extremis could've been made more believable, because this is the same film universe that has a Hulk. But fire-breathing human firecrackers. After realizing that Hulk and Iron Man are in the same universe, I tried to be generous in reevaluating what fits in this movie and what doesn't. But fire-breathing dudes IS JUMPING THE SHARK. And not just a little nurse shark, this is jumping a Megalodon.

So, my final opinion? I got over the Extremis, but there is no getting over the Mandarin debacle. It sucked, and even though you may have liked it, it is a disservice to good writing as well as to the fans. So much wasted potential.

I buy good movies for my DVD shelf. Occasionally, I buy sub-par movies if for some bizarre reason I enjoyed it anyway—or if it's part of a series and I just have to have the overarching narrative. I do have all of the X-Men movies, but I do not have Men in Black 2. A man has his limits.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

The Evaluation, Part 1 (sorry so long)

+2 Appreciative Grin
Open with blowing up Iron Man suits? Good stakes.

-2 Annoyance
Where is AC/DC? This is an Iron Man movie, right?

+10 Adherence to Continuity
Yinsen flashback!

+5 Good Acting
Ah, drunk Tony Stark... still a douche.

-2 Annoyance
Doctor Who? I mean, Doctor Wu? You're going to be important later, right?

-2 Cringe
Did they have to make pre-Extremis Killian so cringe-worthy? I am cringing so hard.

+15 Good Adaptation of Source
Advanced Idea Mechanics reference and utilization

+2 Appreciative Grin
Kicking this puppy dog of a nerd on the cold roof will have unfortunate consequences years later... sad face of sympathy

+2 Appreciative Grin
Dummy the robot! Wearing a dunce hat!

-2 Annoyance
Still no AC/DC!? And horrible Christmas carols instead!?

-10 Poor Writing
Tony's armor not working well is a funny gag the first few times... but having it happen throughout the entire movie is like when your kid learns one knock-knock joke and will never stop telling it. Shut up, you're not funny.

+2 Good CGI
Great CGI of the Mk42 armor assembling

+5 Good Acting
Sir Ben Kingsley is a chilling badass... until he's not

+10 Adherence to Continuity
Ten points for the Ten Rings!

+10 Good Writing
+10 Good Race/Gender Change
Chilling first look at the Mandarin and his first "lesson." Oh, Mandy... you'll be disappointing me much later in this movie. I never saw it coming.

+15 Good Adaptation of Source
Iron Patriot reference, updated for the MCU.

+10 Good Writing
The whole concept of propaganda and rebranding War Machine is pretty genius. This was very well done; the government wants a visible Captain America-type hero for the 21st century.

+2 Appreciate Grin
LOL I'm not trying to be a dick (sees kids) dic... tator.

+10 Good Characterization
Great characterization of Rhodey still trying to look out for Tony

+2 Impressive Detail
I found the little kid annoying, but the whole depiction of PTSD was pretty cool and for what I know, pretty well done as well

-5 Plot Hole
Is Pepper supposed to be CEO again? Didn't she resign at the end of IM2?

+2 Appreciative Grin
Overeager security chief, Happy, taking complaints as a compliment

+2 Good CGI
CGI brain is well done

-2 Cringe
Cringeworthy Happy being tech-challenged... a little much

+2 Appreciative Grin
'Course you don't remember him, he wasn't a blonde with a big rack. LOL

+2 Appreciative Grin
Now you're off with the super-friends

+2 Appreciative Grin
There's a girl trying to steal printer ink

-2 Cringe
Cringing at a giant bunny... is that Shane Black humor?

+10 Good Writing
+5 Good Dialogue
Tony opening up to Pepper and being real is well written

+5 Good Action Sequence
Nightmare and scary robot armor

-10 Poor Writing
-10 Disconnect from Continuity
Did people really blow up from Extremis in the comics? And human bodies do not withstand those kind of temperatures in a grounded movie. Iron Man is supposed to be the grounded Marvel movies. This is beyond even Hulk. 3000 degrees C is 5432 degrees F. People die from fevers of 115 degrees F, which is the max temperature humans can reach before brain death. Going with such a huge number is unbelievable and sloppy.

+10 Good Writing
+5 Good Dialogue
The fortune cookie lesson is very well written rhetoric... sounds exactly like a real terrorist's theatrical rant

-2 Cringe
Downtown Abbey. They are really working to make Hogan a complete idiot, aren't they?

-10 Disconnect from Continuity
Christine Everhart should have been included in the news conference. It would have been a perfect callback to the first two movies.

+5 Good Dialogue
Tony calling out the Mandarin was a pretty awesome speech

-2 Annoyance
SHIELD reference... but the only one we get, too

+2 Impressive Detail
Crime scene CSI reconstruction (I'll give Tony's ability to obtain this info a pass)

-10 Poor Writing
Humans do not withstand 3000 degrees Celsius EVER. Not in an Iron Man movie. Probably not even in a Hulk movie.

+2 Appreciative Grin
Committed relationship... right as the bags drop from upstairs

+2 Appreciative Grin
The bunny doesn't look bosomy to my eyes on my second viewing of this movie. This is a good thing.

-10 Poor Writing
Tony's security system doesn't notice the incoming missile and helicopters? And the news crews do?

+5 Good Action Sequence
Saving Pepper with the "Rescue" armor is cool

+5 Good Action Sequence
Pepper returning the favor is also cool

+2 Appreciative Grin
"Stop stopping" LOL

+2 Appreciative Grin
Offensive piano

-10 Poor Writing
JARVIS flies Tony all the way to Tennessee because poor script. Seriously, it's called Artificial INTELLIGENCE. You don't need to retreat that far, especially when Pepper could still be in danger. Just because you put a lampshade on it doesn't mean that makes it okay. Why did JARVIS malfunction? Never explained. The suit is a prototype, but JARVIS is NOT.

-10 Poor Writing
"Cute" or "precocious" child sidekicks are not okay anymore. This is not the 80s or 90s, Shane Black!

-2 Cringe
I really want to take away more points for Tony giving the kid that weapon, but I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible. Cringe.

-2 Annoyance
This movie's soundtrack sounds nothing like the first two movies, even without the horrendous lack of AC/DC.

+2 Appreciative Grin
The Mandarin is still badass, but I can't give it any more points than this because I know what's coming...

-2 Cringe
Man I hate this frakking child sidekick.

+5 Good Acting
Ellen Brandt is pretty threatening...

-2 Annoyance
This action sequence in the town square deserves a better film score

-10 Poor Writing
Flame retardant clothing because modesty Part 1

+5 Good Action Sequence
Blowing up the building with the dog tags, gas line, and microwave was pretty well done

+2 Appreciative Grin
Tony being mean to the kid is therapeutic because I want to be mean to the kid

+10 Good Writing
Shooting the oil guy and not picking up the phone was awesome

-10 Poor Writing
Tony Stark's biggest fan... or what I can only assume is Shane Black's abysmal attempt at humor

-5 Plot Hole
Iron Patriot's suit being modified by AIM is never touched on again even though this should be a big plot point later when Rhodey is captured. Why is it never followed up on?

-10 Poor Writing
Selling faulty Extremis technology to the Mandarin would've been better than what is actually gonna happen in another ~20 minutes

+5 Good Dialogue
Maya's monologue on the purity of science and Nazi rockets is pretty good

-10 Poor Writing
Iron Patriot went down like a wimp. Seriously? A little hot handshake and down for the count?

-2 Cringe
Kid. Feelings of hatred. Kid counsels Tony. Feelings of hatred increase.

-10 Poor Writing
Tony's hardware store takedown... Shane Black, I assume. I get they were trying to show Tony is formidable because of his mind and determination, not his armor. But this felt way too 80s.

-15 Poor Adaptation of Source
-10 Poor Writing
-10 WTF Plot Twist!
Trevor Slatterly instead of the Mandarin. Wrong on so many levels. Plot twists should not infuriate your audience, and your fake R'as al Ghul (because you’re totally not taking a page out of the Batman Begins script) should not be laughable. The ONLY way this will ever be forgivable is if the REAL Mandarin appears in a future Iron Man 4 or Avengers movie.

-10 Poor Writing
I'd make fun of this movie ripping off The Incredibles, but Honest Trailers already beat me to it.

+10 Good Writing
Guy Pearce does a good Killian. The whole "desperation" bit of dialogue is pretty good.

+10/-10 Good Writing/Poor Writing
The whole anonymity of the true evil and using the Mandarin for the face of evil is brilliant... but making a laughingstock out of it is not.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

The Evaluation, Part 2 (sorry so long)

+10/-10 Good Writing/Poor Writing
Killian torching Rhodey out of the suit was actually really well done, a nice grounded flame power... then the dude turns into a dragon and breathes fire , the shark is jumped, and that lovely moment we just shared is completely gone.

-2 Cringe
Tony's counting for the armor is just cringeworthy. The joke went on for too long.

-10 Poor Writing
Tony's armor being unable to open a barn door is pathetic and insulting. Oh, and I still hate the kid.

+5 Good Action Sequence
Tony's fighting with just a gauntlet and a boot is pretty epic

+2 Appreciative Grin
The last henchman disowning his bosses and running is actually funny to me.

-10 Poor Writing
"This is the Mandarin?" "It's embarrassing." Yes... yes, it is. I've already docked points for the Mandarin plot twist, but if Shane Black is gonna address it through dialogue, I'm gonna penalize him again. Bad Shane Black! Bad director!

+10 Good Writing
The Vice-President betrayal is well done. Also believable based on his motivation.

+5 Good Action Sequence
The Air Force One rescue is awesome. Also good fakeout with Tony remote-controlling the suit.

-10 Poor Writing
Tony and Rhodey on the boat trying to be 80s buddy cops... of course, Shane Black again

+5 Good Action Sequence
House Party Protocol

+5 Good Action Sequence
Rhodey rescuing the President is great

-5 Plot Hole
Didn't Tony and Rhodey say there were only 5 Extremis soldiers to take down? Either there are a lot more of them, or they are putting up much more of a fight than we really see.
-10 Poor Writing
Pepper ain't dead. If you wanted your audience to believe characters can die, Agent Coulson would still be dead.

+5 Good Dialogue
Killian mocking Tony's inability to save Pepper is pretty spiteful.

-2 Cringe
So Extremis not only cures physical disabilities, it gives you advanced hand-to-hand combat skills?

-2 Cringe
Who exactly repaired the Mark 42? And really? It falls apart AGAIN?

+5 Good Action Sequence
Trapping Killian in the suit and blowing it up was a great idea. I would've made it actually work and find a different scene for Pepper to be the heroine.

-15 Poor Adaptation of Source
"I am the Mandarin!" No, you're not. You're just a Caucasian scientist with dragon tats and severe burns.

-10 Poor Writing
Flame retardant clothing because modesty Part 2

+5 Good Action Sequence
Pepper finally does something interesting.

-5 Plot Hole
Tony prematurely blows up all the suits. How does he really know the danger is past?

-2 Cringe
Clean Slate Protocol does not involve an epic crossover with The Dark Knight Rises

-10 Poor Writing
Tony fixes Extremis and cures Pepper in one line of off-screen dialogue. Rule #1 of Successful Writing: "Show, Don't Tell."

-15 Poor Adaptation of Source
Oh, yeah! Doctor Wu! Who cures an incurable condition because WHY!? In ten seconds of wrapping up the movie? Maybe if Iron Man 3 was the final last ever appearance of Tony Stark, but we all know he's in Avengers 2, Captain America 3, and Avengers 3...

-2 Cringe
Oh yeah, the kid. Still can't get rid of him.

+2 Appreciative Grin
Haters gonna hate, but I loved the Bruce Banner end credits scene.