Joss Whedon quips

[CyberCubed]

What are the best and worst quips in Joss Whedon scripts?

[Jester]

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[TheSkeletonMan939]

The award for 'worst quip' might have to go to Age of Ultron:

*Iron Man shoots bad guys*
IRON MAN: Good talk.
BAD GUY: No it wasn't!

[snake]

None.

Inb4 Plastron with more quips than a Joss Whedon script

[Cure]

The award for 'worst quip' might have to go to Age of Ultron:

*Iron Man shoots bad guys*
IRON MAN: Good talk.
BAD GUY: No it wasn't!

I dunno, bad ADR is funnier to me than the most of the actual dialogue.

[Jephael]

Sadly I'm not familiar with much of the guy's work, though one of my favorite episodes of Angel (which I didn't get into until the final season) was the one where the title character became a puppet. I think there were some funny Sesame Street references in that one, but I haven't watched it in ages.

[plastroncafe]

"Do you know what happens when a toad is struck by lightning?"

[Commenter 42]

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Ha. Perfect.

[Spike Spiegel]

Even though I like some aspects of its visual style, the script for Alien Resurrection feels like one really long string of bad quips.

https://filmplanetasylum.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/resurrection2.jpg

[ToTheNines]

Mewling. Quim.

[TheSkeletonMan939]

Mewling. Quim.

Lol, that's what happens when the MPAA review board doesn't have some sort of linguist on the team: you get a very naughty slang word past the censors.

[snake]

Mewling. Quim.

That's actually a great one. Very clever :lol:

[Editor's Note Comics]

How did your brain even learn human speech?

[THGhost]

Pretty much anything from Buffy or Firefly/Serenity:

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This one instantly comes to mind; right at the end of the video.

One quip from him personally that I remember from Serenity's commentary track when he was talking about River's big fight scene on Miranda. Something like, "Now, we could have done this with a stunt double. But we didn't have a stunt double - we had a ballerina." (i.e. Summer Glau)

Even though I like some aspects of its visual style, the script for Alien Resurrection feels like one really long string of bad quips.

https://filmplanetasylum.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/resurrection2.jpg

Wasn't his script for that movie changed a lot after the fact? I swear I read that somewhere.

[ProactiveMan]

"Do you know what happens when a toad is struck by lightning?"

Hahaha amazing. I heard some place that that line made sense in an earlier cut, as it was a reference to a running Toad gag that they excised for some reason. Ray Park's acing?

[plastroncafe]

Hahaha amazing. I heard some place that that line made sense in an earlier cut, as it was a reference to a running Toad gag that they excised for some reason. Ray Park's acing?

Whedon has said in interviews he was not expecting that particular line read. That it was supposed to be a whimsical off-the-cuff statement, but that Halle Barry instead said it as if she was in a Greek tragedy.

[TheSkeletonMan939]

Whedon's critical mistake was that he thought that line could ever be funny at all.

[plastroncafe]

Whereas I think the blame rests more on the shoulders of the casting director.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Whereas I think the blame rests more on the shoulders of the casting director.

How can you hate on the lead actress of Catwoman!?

[plastroncafe]

How can you hate on the lead actress of Catwoman!?

Every movie can't be a winner.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Every movie can't be a winner.

They can be a winner in their heart...

[plastroncafe]

They can be a winner in their heart...

Don't worry, we're not taking away anyone's Participation Trophy.

...


Not yet.

[ProactiveMan]

Whedon has said in interviews he was not expecting that particular line read. That it was supposed to be a whimsical off-the-cuff statement, but that Halle Barry instead said it as if she was in a Greek tragedy.

That makes sense. She did the same thing towards the end of Die Another Day with what I assume was supposed to be a double entendre "looks like we're going down together" but she put the emphasis on "together" for some reason and read it like one would say "here we go again!", with a goofy grin on her face.

It was Die Another Day thought, so nobody was still watching at that point.

[THGhost]

On the commentary track the people on it say the punchline for the Toad quote should have been "It croaks!"

That makes sense. She did the same thing towards the end of Die Another Day with what I assume was supposed to be a double entendre "looks like we're going down together" but she put the emphasis on "together" for some reason and read it like one would say "here we go again!", with a goofy grin on her face.

It was Die Another Day thought, so nobody was still watching at that point.

Man, I remember thinking that movie was the coolest thing ever when it came out. How silly was I.

[ProactiveMan]

Man, I remember thinking that movie was the coolest thing ever when it came out. How silly was I.

I'm not gonna lie, I did too. Everyone was crapping on it at the time, but I thought it was great. I watched it again six months later and realized that everyone was right. It's embarrassing bad.

Funnily enough, the one with Denise Richards that was also lambasted is actually not that bad.

[THGhost]

the one with Denise Richards that was also lambasted is actually not that bad.

The World Is Not Enough. That one's okay. The Brosnan Bonds seemed to get worse and worse and they went on. GoldenEye was great, Tomorrow Never Dies was pretty good, The World Is Not Enough was okay and Die Another Day was garbage.

[ProactiveMan]

The World Is Not Enough. That one's okay. The Brosnan Bonds seemed to get worse and worse and they went on. GoldenEye was great, Tomorrow Never Dies was pretty good, The World Is Not Enough was okay and Die Another Day was garbage.

I would have agreed until the last time I watched them. The World is not Enough hasn't aged well, and I think TND edges it out slightly. On that subject, check out Jonathan Price's tablet PC acting next time you watch TWINE. Hilarious.

[THGhost]

I would have agreed until the last time I watched them. The World is not Enough hasn't aged well, and I think TND edges it out slightly.

I'm slowly collecting them all on Blu-ray, so I'll get round to watching them eventually. I'm fully prepared for them to have not aged well.

On that subject, check out Jonathan Price's tablet PC acting next time you watch TWINE. Hilarious.

Don't you mean TND?

[ProactiveMan]

Don't you mean TND?

Lol! Yes I do. I mix their names up all the time... I have to think about the theme songs to figure it out.

Tomorrow Never Dies is the one I was trying to say hasn't aged well, mostly because the conventional wisdom was that The World Is Not Enough was way worse, but last time I watched them I found the opposite to be true.

None of them have aged brilliantly; even GoldenEye, which is definitely the best of the Brosnan movies, has that funky industrial synth score and the nonsensical computer hacker stuff that reeks of the 1990s.

[Allio]

Some of the AoU lines were funny

[Andrew NDB]

The World Is Not Enough. That one's okay. The Brosnan Bonds seemed to get worse and worse and they went on. GoldenEye was great, Tomorrow Never Dies was pretty good, The World Is Not Enough was okay and Die Another Day was garbage.

I liked all of those. Die Another Day was pretty fun. The opening sequence with the fight with the Kim Jong Il clone on the hovercraft was pretty sweet, and I have no idea what people's problem was with the invisible car.

[ProactiveMan]

I have no idea what people's problem was with the invisible car.
The invisible car was cool; so were the ice palace, the sword fighting and the guy with diamonds in his face. The cgi laser chase on the other hand...

[THGhost]

Damn that movie was silly. And I loved it. :lol: