Jason Statham in "The Meg"

[Andrew NDB]

bsLk0NPRFAc

Jason Statham vs. a PG-13 megalodon. I can't wait to see a movie about a giant shark eating a lot of people that... can't actually show any of that. Pass!

[TigerClaw]

It's actually based on a novel.

[ProphetofGanja]

I'm a little bit ashamed of how much I want to see this. Sharks scare the sh!t out of me but I love cheesy shark movies.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Jason Statham vs. a PG-13 megalodon. I can't wait to see a movie about a giant shark eating a lot of people that... can't actually show any of that. Pass!

Why can't it?

A Meg would be so big, it wouldn't really be tearing chunks up... just swallowing whole. No blood'n'guts, no problem for a PG13 rating.

Right?

[plastroncafe]

Because when I see a Statham movie what I expect is 100% realism.
....said no sane person ever.

[Andrew NDB]

Why can't it?

A Meg would be so big, it wouldn't really be tearing chunks up... just swallowing whole. No blood'n'guts, no problem for a PG13 rating.

Right?

Right. But in a world where we have tons of gratuitous stuff like the "Sharknado" movies on TV with tons of blood and gore... what exactly is the purpose in a PG-13 shark movie that can't even show a drop of blood?

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Right. But in a world where we have tons of gratuitous stuff like the "Sharknado" movies on TV with tons of blood and gore... what exactly is the purpose in a PG-13 shark movie that can't even show a drop of blood?

I'm assuming it's just the spectacle of "giant shark."

Which MAY have some blood and gore... squid blood and gore, maybe. Which probably doesn't register for the ratings systems.

But yeah, the amount of thought that went into this is summed up by four words:

"GIANT SHARK" and "JASON STATHAM." :trazz:

[Ninjinister]

sni55NW3tTo

Right. But in a world where we have tons of gratuitous stuff like the "Sharknado" movies on TV with tons of blood and gore... what exactly is the purpose in a PG-13 shark movie that can't even show a drop of blood?

Why put that much stock in blood and viscera? It's not what makes any piece of entertainment well... entertaining. At least not the crux. And I say that not only as someone who loves Fatalities in Mortal Kombat, but had rotten.com and bestgore as home pages and once spent 7 hours on r/watchpeopledie

[Andrew NDB]

Which MAY have some blood and gore... squid blood and gore, maybe. Which probably doesn't register for the ratings systems.

Yeah, it can have all the shark and squid gore they want to put in there by the same way the PG-13 AVP has Predator blood and Alien gore. But who cares about that?


Why put that much stock in blood and viscera? It's not what makes any piece of entertainment well... entertaining. At least not the crux.

I'm just saying... you make a big, dumb "giant shark killing people" movie and put Jason Statham in it, you're going to need to at least go full-on bloody or don't come to the table at all. It's not quite apples to apples with something like, say, "Rampage," with the Rock. That's just some monsters running roughshod on buildings and each other.

[plastroncafe]

I'm with Patton Oswalt on this:

Jason Statham has never been in a great movie.

He's also never been in a boring one.

Statham's imdb.com profile, collectively, is a promise to you, the weary filmgoer. It's a promise that says, "I promise that you will not FOR ONE SECOND be bored during one of my movies. You won't learn **** about the human condition, or feel a collective connection with the brotherhood of man. But if you give me $10, I will **** an explosion while a Slayer song plays".

GAY-THAM FOR STATHAM (http://www.pattonoswalt.com/index.cfm?page=spew&id=89)

[Andrew NDB]

I was going to contest that but looking at his IMDB credits... no, no boring movies on there. Maybe "Spy."

[Krutch]

Adding Bobby Darin to the soundtrack was a stroke of genius. If it had a typical "epic" score it would have been cringy. "Under The Sea" lets you know it's not taking itself too seriously.

[ProphetofGanja]

Adding Bobby Darin to the soundtrack was a stroke of genius. If it had a typical "epic" score it would have been cringy. "Under The Sea" lets you know it's not taking itself too seriously.

Yeah, I think that musical choice was what sold me

[Cure]

Spy wasn't boring but it sure was infuriating.

[Andrew NDB]

Adding Bobby Darin to the soundtrack

It's probably just for the trailer, man.

[plastroncafe]

Spy wasn't boring but it sure was infuriating.

I found spy really uneven.
They were parts of it that I thought were really very funny, and other parts that just really didn't work for me at all.

The one part that consistently work for me, was Jason Statham.

[ProactiveMan]

I was going to contest that but looking at his IMDB credits... no, no boring movies on there. Maybe "Spy."

The Mechanic was pretty dull. So was Death Race.

I don't know why, but I really want to see this dumb-ass giant shark movie. I'll probably have to see it alone though - I don't think I will be able to convince anyone I know into going with me.

[Andrew NDB]

The Mechanic was pretty dull. So was Death Race.

Can't speak to those as I haven't seen. I mean, they don't look boring. Also didn't see the one with him and J Lo.

[AT-Man]

Looks way too cartoonish, so I'll wait until I can watch it at home.

[Andrew NDB]

I'll just watch Deep Blue Sea again. Come to think of it, part 2 is coming out soon.

jCKJzC87qlY

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

The Mechanic was pretty dull. So was Death Race.

I don't know why, but I really want to see this dumb-ass giant shark movie. I'll probably have to see it alone though - I don't think I will be able to convince anyone I know into going with me.

Aw man, no way. I loved The Mechanic.

Didn't bother watching the sequel, though.

[Andrew NDB]

Aw man, no way. I loved The Mechanic.

Didn't bother watching the sequel, though.

I've seen the original The Mechanic... the only one that matters. :)

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[plastroncafe]

Aw man, no way. I loved The Mechanic.

Didn't bother watching the sequel, though.

I think the only Statham movie I wasn't at very least entertained by was Expendables.
What a wasted opportunity that flick was.

[Andrew NDB]

I think the only Statham movie I wasn't at very least entertained by was Expendables.
What a wasted opportunity that flick was.

They were all wasted opportunities. Part 1 may have been the one that felt most like a movie (it's also the only one of them to bother giving Statham a sideplot) but it took itself waaaay too seriously. All I can remember now is Stone Cold Steve Austin being thrown into a fiery pit and Mickey Rourke grinding the movie to a halt for 10 minutes to tell some lame story. Part 2 is the closest one in my mind that at least... sort of attempted to realize its potential. Didn't take itself seriously (I feel like the tone and scope of these should be somewhere between "Tango & Cash" and "Demolition Man"), was still R-rated (though fun fact, they shot it as PG-13, then came back and did a couple of tiny reshoots and added digital blood to en-R-ify it), Van Damme was having a lot of fun and it showed. Part 3 f***ed the pooch, Snipes, Banderas, and Ford or not.

I have no idea why they kept trying to make "The Expendables" accessible for 13 year-olds.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

I think the only Statham movie I wasn't at very least entertained by was Expendables.
What a wasted opportunity that flick was.

I was entertained for about 10 minutes in that movie.

Terry Crews, and Jason Statham playing basketball. That was it.

[plastroncafe]

I was entertained for about 10 minutes in that movie.

Terry Crews, and Jason Statham playing basketball. That was it.

I wanted to like that, but then they lost me with the abusive...excuse me, romantic side plot of Statham's.

[Andrew NDB]

I wanted to like that, but then they lost me with the abusive...excuse me, romantic side plot of Statham's.

The impetus from a writing standpoint was clearly twofold: "We need to give Statham's character a reason to kick someone's ass and acquire a love interest while he's at it." While there was probably a thousand things they could have done other than have Statham come to the defense of a physically abused Charisma Carpenter, I didn't have a problem with that sideplot as-is. I mean, domestic abuse happens. Quite a bit. Should it be a mark against the movie because it features something that actually happens a lot that we don't like hearing about? I don't think so. Now, should Mickey Rourke's 10 minute lame story and lack of any point to being in the movie, tame action, lame villain, boring plot and lackluster climax be marks against it? Absolutely.

[ProactiveMan]

[QUOTE=Andrew NDB;1755524]I've seen the original The Mechanic... the only one that matters. :)

Charles Bronson was cool. He's so wooden; like a tree-trunk wearing a toupee but somehow he's extremely charismatic.

[Andrew NDB]

Did a little more research. Noooow I understand what's going on here. This is just like "Pacific Rim: Uprising"... an "American film" with a lot of Chinese money behind it and a Chinese partner studio designed to get a large amount of Chinese box office. Half the cast even appears to be Chinese. They aren't worried about an R-rating because that would never get by the Chinese censors, which is all they care about.

[Andrew NDB]

Despicable. They filmed it hard-R and were told to sanitize it for 13 year-olds later on.

http://www.darkhorizons.com/initial-cut-of-the-meg-was-very-r-rated/

I feel really bad for the director who signed on to deliver something that he was literally forced not to.

[CylonsKlingonsDaleksOhMy]

Despicable. They filmed it hard-R and were told to sanitize it for 13 year-olds later on.

http://www.darkhorizons.com/initial-cut-of-the-meg-was-very-r-rated/

I feel really bad for the director who signed on to deliver something that he was literally forced not to.

Yeah, that's too bad. Not sure which will make more money... hardcore R-rated chompfest, or light summer fare?

Either way, I don't see this one making much bank.

[Andrew NDB]

Now, predicted to fail unless overseas box office saves it (read: China, who funded it) and cast/crew are flabbergasted they shot an R movie and it was cut to PG-13:

http://www.darkhorizons.com/the-meg-heads-for-a-soft-20m-opening/

[Vegita-San]

bsLk0NPRFAc

Jason Statham vs. a PG-13 megalodon. I can't wait to see a movie about a giant shark eating a lot of people that... can't actually show any of that. Pass!

we saw this movie already
https://alchetron.com/cdn/land-shark-saturday-night-live-fd447467-ff9b-4582-8f29-07b9bd10aa9-resize-750.jpg

[TigerClaw]

Saw the movie today. It was a lot of fun. You know this was based on a series of books?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meg:_A_Novel_of_Deep_Terror

[Andrew NDB]

Big surprise. Refashioned for Chinese.

https://www.abacusnews.com/digital-life/global-box-office-smash-meg-pandering-china/article/2160008?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=GME-I-Alwayson_US_abacus