Star Wars spoof.

[Jarrah White]

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Well actually it was only thirty years ago, on America a guy called George Lucas decided to make a film called Star Wars. Then he made another one. Then another one. And then he just sat on his rich fat ass for fifteen years and did sweet f*** all. But all those Mansions don't pay for themselves so he's back with Episodes One, Two and...

Star Warz: Episode Three, The Clamer for Merchandise.

It is a time of galactic upset. The Imperial forces have flooded the market with crap Star Wars merchandise. This has pissed off the Rebal Forces no end.


Chapter 1

Deep in space, the Death Star floats, I giant Coka Cola billboard rotates in top. Deep within, a major battle rages on between the Storm Troopers and Rebal forces. A Storm Trooper's ray gun runs out of ammo, so he removes another from it's original packages. Meanwhile, R2-D2 and C-3PO run through out the fortress.

R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Bop, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: No, R2, I am not running like a big girly droid!
R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Same to you, little robotic terd.

The two make it to Princess Leia's cell.

C-3PO: Your royale highness, thank heavens your safe and well.
Princess Leia: Don't patronise me, RoboBoy. Just because you were built like a man and you think like a man does not mean you are a man. Your more like a cross between Elton John and a vaccum cleaner. Your made of tin and you suck.
C-3PO: Do you have to rescue her?
R2-D2: Beep, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Beep.
C-3PO: Yes, I suppose she is in The Empire Strikes Back.
R2-D2: Ah, but she's not in The Phantom Menace, Liam Neeson plays the princess in that one.
Princess Leia: Are you quite finished, Tin Man and Dexter from perfect match?
R2-D2: Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Princess there isn't just time, what have you found out about The Death Star?
Princess Leia: Well 3POQ or whatever your called, it's like a huge factory pumping out low quality Star Wars merchandise twenty-four hours a day. This for example is the R2-D2 action figure.

Leia holds up what appears to be an empty VB Beer can with half a tennis ball stuck to the top and two plastic eyeball keychains glued to either side.

C-3PO: Good lord.
Princess Leia: I don't suppose your interested in seeing yours...

Leia holds up C-3PO's action figure (Trust me, you don't wanna know what it looks like.)

C-3PO: Ahhh!

(More coming soon!)

[Taloniss]

Where are those mighty robots from Battlestar Galactica when you need them?

[Splinter]

You do realize that while he didn't do any more Star Wars films for many years, that he's responsible for many many other movies. That he either wrote or produced. And the money that the Star Wars saga made, was also used to create things that made making movies easier for other directors.

Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere effects company in Hollywood. Their track record is all thanks to Lucas that had the company started so he could do the effects for the first Star Wars film. Just look at how many other films have used the tools and work that Lucas pioneered. Not to mention their Computer Effects work in the late 80's and early 90's. The kind of effects WETA delievered for LOTR's may have been years off, if not for the early work by Lucasfilm.

THX Sound. Digital Cameras. Hunders of other things that all came about thanks to Lucas. So while you may think he just sat on his ass for 15 years, you would be very very wrong in that assumption. Without Lucas the film technology that we have today would not be possible. So, even if your being spoofy, just remember that Star Wars is not the only thing that Lucas is responsible for.

[That Matt Guy]

Lucas gave the world Howard the Duck.

[Barkworm]

Actually it was Marvel comics who gave birth to Howard.

[That Matt Guy]

Well, Lucas produced that mess. There's Howard on his hands too.

[sensei#me]

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Well actually it was only thirty years ago, on America a guy called George Lucas decided to make a film called Star Wars. Then he made another one. Then another one. And then he just sat on his rich fat ass for fifteen years and did sweet f*** all. But all those Mansions don't pay for themselves so he's back with Episodes One, Two and...

Star Warz: Episode Three, The Clamer for Merchandise.

It is a time of galactic upset. The Imperial forces have flooded the market with crap Star Wars merchandise. This has pissed off the Rebal Forces no end.


Chapter 1

Deep in space, the Death Star floats, I giant Coka Cola billboard rotates in top. Deep within, a major battle rages on between the Storm Troopers and Rebal forces. A Storm Trooper's ray gun runs out of ammo, so he removes another from it's original packages. Meanwhile, R2-D2 and C-3PO run through out the fortress.

R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Bop, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: No, R2, I am not running like a big girly droid!
R2-D2: Beep, Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Same to you, little robotic terd.

The two make it to Princess Leia's cell.

C-3PO: Your royale highness, thank heavens your safe and well.
Princess Leia: Don't patronise me, RoboBoy. Just because you were built like a man and you think like a man does not mean you are a man. Your more like a cross between Elton John and a vaccum cleaner. Your made of tin and you suck.
C-3PO: Do you have to rescue her?
R2-D2: Beep, Bop, Bop, Bop, Bop, Beep.
C-3PO: Yes, I suppose she is in The Empire Strikes Back.
R2-D2: Ah, but she's not in The Phantom Menace, Liam Neeson plays the princess in that one.
Princess Leia: Are you quite finished, Tin Man and Dexter from perfect match?
R2-D2: Beep, Beep.
C-3PO: Princess there isn't just time, what have you found out about The Death Star?
Princess Leia: Well 3POQ or whatever your called, it's like a huge factory pumping out low quality Star Wars merchandise twenty-four hours a day. This for example is the R2-D2 action figure.

Leia holds up what appears to be an empty VB Beer can with half a tennis ball stuck to the top and two plastic eyeball keychains glued to either side.

C-3PO: Good lord.
Princess Leia: I don't suppose your interested in seeing yours...

Leia holds up C-3PO's action figure (Trust me, you don't wanna know what it looks like.)

C-3PO: Ahhh!

(More coming soon!)





BLASPHEMER!!!!! the sith shall punish you.....

[Voltron]

Don't pay attention to him...maybe he'll go away.

[ThirdMarioBro]

You do realize that while he didn't do any more Star Wars films for many years, that he's responsible for many many other movies. That he either wrote or produced. And the money that the Star Wars saga made, was also used to create things that made making movies easier for other directors.

Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere effects company in Hollywood. Their track record is all thanks to Lucas that had the company started so he could do the effects for the first Star Wars film. Just look at how many other films have used the tools and work that Lucas pioneered. Not to mention their Computer Effects work in the late 80's and early 90's. The kind of effects WETA delievered for LOTR's may have been years off, if not for the early work by Lucasfilm.

THX Sound. Digital Cameras. Hunders of other things that all came about thanks to Lucas. So while you may think he just sat on his ass for 15 years, you would be very very wrong in that assumption. Without Lucas the film technology that we have today would not be possible. So, even if your being spoofy, just remember that Star Wars is not the only thing that Lucas is responsible for.

and only a true fan would know that. Thank you.

[Hyper Metal Sonic]

You do realize that while he didn't do any more Star Wars films for many years, that he's responsible for many many other movies. That he either wrote or produced. And the money that the Star Wars saga made, was also used to create things that made making movies easier for other directors.

Industrial Light and Magic, the premiere effects company in Hollywood. Their track record is all thanks to Lucas that had the company started so he could do the effects for the first Star Wars film. Just look at how many other films have used the tools and work that Lucas pioneered. Not to mention their Computer Effects work in the late 80's and early 90's. The kind of effects WETA delievered for LOTR's may have been years off, if not for the early work by Lucasfilm.

THX Sound. Digital Cameras. Hunders of other things that all came about thanks to Lucas. So while you may think he just sat on his ass for 15 years, you would be very very wrong in that assumption. Without Lucas the film technology that we have today would not be possible. So, even if your being spoofy, just remember that Star Wars is not the only thing that Lucas is responsible for.

Don't forget that he funded Lucasfilm Games (Which his "interactive entertainment" section of his empire. ;-)), which turned into Lucasarts which gave us such classics as Dark Forces, Jedi Knight, Sam & Max, and more!

[Stone Ill]

Star Wars is a spoof in itself.. :o

[ThirdMarioBro]

No it's not. It's one of the foundations of Sifi culture.

[Mars-Chan]

Amen, TMB. :)

Artoo-Detoo: *chirps*
Seethreepio: I am not a dork, Artoo! Stop calling me that!
Artoo: *chirps again*
Seethreepio: *turns away* Oh...buzz off.
*Artoo then proceeds to zap the crud out of him*

:lol: Heh...joke a guy friend and I do every time we call each other.

[Eye of Sarnath]

As a die-hard Star Wars fan, I must say this topic was born of ignorance.

[愛]

Well, it is a spoof, so I'm not saying anything. :D

[TigerClaw]

Lets not forget, Lucas also made the Indiana Jones Trilogy with the help of Steven Spielberg

[Barkworm]

No it's not. It's one of the foundations of Sifi culture.
The first three movies were, but the new ones are... well they are just not good, or at least not as good as some people like to believe. Just remember the first reviews of Episode 2, when a lot people said that it was the best Star Wars movie ever. Sorry but that's ********.

[Peanut]

I enjoy the new ones but they don't even come close to the old ones. Honestly they don't even FEEL like Star Wars movies to me.

[That Matt Guy]

Lets not forget, Lucas also made the Indiana Jones Trilogy with the help of Steven Spielberg

Lucas helped write the movies, but Spielberg directed them. It was a mutual effort by both.

[Barkworm]

BTW, has anyone already seen this (BIG SPOILER AHEAD):
http://cgi.theforce.net/theforce/image.cgi?Image=/episode3/newspics/anakin_uk_paper.jpg
Looks promising! :)

[ThirdMarioBro]

Amen, TMB. :)

Artoo-Detoo: *chirps*
Seethreepio: I am not a dork, Artoo! Stop calling me that!
Artoo: *chirps again*
Seethreepio: *turns away* Oh...buzz off.
*Artoo then proceeds to zap the crud out of him*

:lol: Heh...joke a guy friend and I do every time we call each other.

:lol: :lol: Okay, THATS funny!!!

[Peanut]

BTW, has anyone already seen this (BIG SPOILER AHEAD):
http://cgi.theforce.net/theforce/image.cgi?Image=/episode3/newspics/anakin_uk_paper.jpg
Looks promising! :)

:o YOWZA! My Hype-O-Meter has just reached critical mass.......after saying that so has my Geek-O-Meter. :sweatdro:

[MW8979]

The new Star Wars films are pretty good. Well, Episode 2 is pretty good. Episode I is a very terrible piece of crap - Star Wars or otherwise. Completely overrated.

[Barkworm]

The new Star Wars films are pretty good. Well, Episode 2 is pretty good. Episode I is a very terrible piece of crap - Star Wars or otherwise. Completely overrated.
The scenes with Obi Wan in Episode 2 were pretty good, as well as the final light sabre battle. The scenes with Anakin and Padme were so bad I wanted to shoot myself. :dead:

[Taloniss]

The only thing I've liked about the new Star Wars movies was Yoda finally getting off his muppet butt and whooping somebody. Everything else seems like an excuse to cash in on the name value.

[Voltron]

The only thing I've liked about the new Star Wars movies was Yoda finally getting off his muppet butt and whooping somebody. Everything else seems like an excuse to cash in on the name value.

The actors so far who have played Anakin Skywalker have been so ridiculously bad that I refuse to call the new movies Star Wars.

[Dr. Doom]

I don't care much for Hayden Christiansen's consant angst and whineyness, but I suppose that very well could just be what they were going for. If that's the case, it's Lucas' fault he pisses me off so much.

[Voltron]

I don't care much for Hayden Christiansen's consant angst and whineyness, but I suppose that very well could just be what they were going for. If that's the case, it's Lucas' fault he pisses me off so much.

What gets me though is that the Anakin in the new trilogy is so different from Vader. If the Vader had the same characteristics in the old episodes as Anakin does now, Vader would have been a joke.

Piet-"My Lord, I trust your meeting with the Emporer went well. Lord Vader..are...are you crying?"

Vader-"It's not fair Piet!! Alls I want is to be the Emporer and the Emporer is holding me back!! It's all his fault!! I'm going to my room! I hate you all forever!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"


and why it would be hysterical to see a spin off of that, Star Wars would have sucked! Why couldn't they have just made Anakin a badass, like Vader, instead of that light saber toting turd?

[MW8979]

He's going to get that way eventually you know. I think it would be tacky if they just made him go straight from a troubled child right into a homicidal dictator, with nothing in between. Granted, some points of the film are corny, but I think it's necessary for character development, just so it doesn't look like too much of a suddent jump. But yeah, I'm waiting for the real Vader to arise as well.

[That Matt Guy]

My only problem with the prequels...


Not enough Jar Jar Binks.

[Mars-Chan]

Originally posted by Mars:
Amen, TMB. :)

Artoo-Detoo: *chirps*
Seethreepio: I am not a dork, Artoo! Stop calling me that!
Artoo: *chirps again*
Seethreepio: *turns away* Oh...buzz off.
*Artoo then proceeds to zap the crud out of him*

:lol: Heh...joke a guy friend and I do every time we call each other.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



:lol: :lol: Okay, THATS funny!!!


You want to know how it REALLY goes, TMB? PM me and I'll tell ya! :lol: :D

[Hyper Metal Sonic]

YIKES that picture is CREEPY.

[raphael_is_cool]

The scenes with Obi Wan in Episode 2 were pretty good, as well as the final light sabre battle. The scenes with Anakin and Padme were so bad I wanted to shoot myself. :dead:

Haha yeah, at the end of every one of their scenes I was cringing

[Voltron]

DAMMIT! I SHOULDN'T HAVE LOOKED!