This is hilarious! Rather sick, but hilarious!
Kameko:
Yea, verily: Who is that, skulking along the steppes! It is Kameko, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a spectacular bellow, her voice cometh:
"I'm going to pound you until you're a Dungeons & Dragons statistic!!"
Emerald (Mighty Ducks):
Skulking over the wasteland, clutching a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Emerald! And she gives a bloodthirsty bellow:
"I'm going to [bleep] you into the danger zone, and throw you out the airplane door!!"
Ink (see sig):
Zang! Who is that, stalking amidst the terrain! It is Ink, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a vengeful howl, her voice cometh:
"In the name of Thor the Mighty, I tear into the enemy until Satan himself emerges from the pit to thank me!!!"
Real Name:
Who is that, rampaging through the freeway! It is Jessica, hands clutching a meaty axe! She grunts gutterally:
"I'm going to contort you with such wanton cruelty, Buddha will explode!!"
Full (Real) Name:
Rampaging amidst the hotel lobby, clutching a vorpal blade, cometh [Full Name]! And she gives a mighty scream:
"I'm going to [bleep] you until the sun burns out, and add a notch to my bedpost!!"
That last one scares me...