View Single Post
Old 02-08-2004, 07:55 AM   #28
That Matt Guy
Honey Bunches
 
That Matt Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Lone Star State
Posts: 5,840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo656
The long awaited speech about Tokka being banned......by Sean Milek



I wasn't sure exactly what to say when I heard that Tokka had been banned, that "the bunny" would no longer be a part of our beloved forum. So I decided to think about it over a beer....and another beer....What? I said I had another beer. What? You heard I like to drink beer? What? I said I had another beer. We ran out of Pabst Blue Ribbon, so I started on a case of Busch. Then my father and I started a conversation that started off being about wrestling, segued into video games and the decline of the arcade in the 21st century, then into how you just don't see and Roy Rogers restaurants these days, into music, and finally, which of us left a worse smell in the bathroom. At about 3:20 am, as I sat down to take my prescribed dose of "Pain-go-bye-bye Medicine" , I realized I'd forgotten Tokka completely.
And really, isn't that the legacy Tokka leaves behind? Any of his posts could easily be replaced with the words "I'm still here, and I'm still more annoying than Tom Arnold and Richard Simmons locked in a closet full of Cocaine and party favors". He never seemed to contribute much; rather, he preferred to instigate and start fights and flame wars and accuse people of racism if they dared to spew any verbal acid of their own his way.
Imagine someone accusing me of being racist. I've gone on record stating the the only people I actively dislike are those wacky Canucks... unless they're good wrestlers, like Bret Hart..... or sexy, like Caster_Troy... or both, like Chris Jericho..... Come to think of it, I'm not fond of the French, either..... And I have no use for anyone who's less than 1/3 Irish.... Come to think of it, I'm effectlively racist against anyone who isn't part -Irish-Polish-Black-Chippewa Indian-Female-Mr. T. So unless you're a black Polish chick with a mohawk, 100-lbs of gold chains, tribal headdress, a kilt, a drinking problem, a great love of Haggis, and a tendancy to say "I pity the fool!", rest assured I'm planning to perform a hate crime directed towards you very soon.
In case you couldn't tell, I don't really have much to say about Tokka. I think he was the first person here to call me a moron, and I admit that GK and I used to kick around funny ways to get him banned, but on the whole he's been a rather dead issue in my mind for quite some time. I pretty much considered it over when I told him way back in the beginning , "We don't breathe the same air, we don't exist in the same reality, the blood in my veins is better than you, so don't even try to start a verbal war with me." Like my boy John Cena would say... "You can't see me!" time passed, other nuisances came and went... I even defended the guy during the infamous Easter Flame Wars that broke out last Spring. Ah, those were the days. A case of Guinness, BIC_Donie flaming Tokka over religion, No Mod supervision, and Machi telling me and GK, basically, "Here are the keys to the store. Try anot to kill anyone, lock up when you're done." Definitely a classic nWo-Tech moment. Hey GK....."Lets get that porno music playin'!" See, I guess I can afford a few good thoughts about people like Tokka.
People like him, MZ,PW, They're why nWo-Tech exists. Sure, Cas, GK and myself would be loud, obnoxious, perverted, drink beer and smoke ..."candy"... on our own, but as a group, with a never-ending supply of noobs, nitwits, and Rock fans to torment, we have more than a group....we have a calling. I guess I can thank Tokka, in part, for that.

....No, F**k that, he can go suckle on his momma's teat. Y'know at one point I was so impressed with Tokka's never-ending supply of bulls**t that I attempted to create a device for my computer that would attach to my genitals and vibrate heavily every time Tokka posted something asinine. At times, I lay awake and smiled, safe in the knowledge that while Tokka may in fact be dummer'n a rock covered in dirt, at least the odds of him ever breeding are pretty slim. And now that he's gone, he should take some solace, should he read this, that his bunny rabbit avatar still finds it's way into my dreams. Yeah, usually it's when I'm about to cop a feel on Jessica Alba, the bunny pops out of her chest and bites her head off.

Y'know, thats a pretty sick visual. And y'know what? It's still sexier than Kathy Bates's nude scene last year. The hell was she thinkin'?

((Raises beer)) Here to ya, Tokka. We always knew it'd be one of us sooner or later. Now that it's finally happened, well.....it's just a damn shame I didn't have anything to do with it.

Survey SAYS: ONE MORE for the GOOD GUYS!

"So.....should we give him a proper burial?"
"Ah, what the hell, why not....((kicks dirt on the corpse))"
-"Young Guns II", 1990


Dang...

It's just some internet jerkoff, no need to get so worked up.
That Matt Guy is offline