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I am Frank-Zappa-as-imagined-by-the-editor-of-a-famous-rock-&-roll-magazine. I am an anachronism who makes the ugliest music on the planet. I have no right to call myself a member of the human race. I am tasteless, untalented, pompous, arrogant, cruel, insensitive, vulgar and not a fun guy because I don't use drugs.
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