Quote:
Originally Posted by ToTheNines
Being Christmastime and all, I just watched Batman Returns today... what a ****ing piece of pig poo that movie is. It's not really Burton's fault I guess, the script is a God damned train wreck on paper. So yeah, that didn't be my vote.
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I want to love
Returns, I really, really do. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I still adore the music, the set designs, the effects, the cinematography, the atmosphere, the way it's a gothic winter wonderland, the crazy circus gang, and even the cast and acting.
But, as you say, the script is so friggin' awful, and I see that so much more now than I did as a young'un. And agreed with your later post: the penguin march just
really kills all enjoyment I could receive from that film. It's hard for me to ever want to rewatch this movie again. I know I will, and I know I will several times. (And I really wish the Blu-ray transfer weren't a steaming pile of poo.) But I don't know how much I'll enjoy it. There are pretty visuals, there's an amazing score, but the whole thing is so empty.
And two little details that really put this high on the Stupid scale: when Batman is playing for the people the audio of Penguin insulting them and he does a record scratch...on a f***ing CD; and the other is when Bruce rips off his mask at the end, saying they should turn Shreck in—but if Shreck had lived, he would know Batman's true identity. Those two details murder me.
Burton's first Batman flick, while I don't love, it's loads better in so many ways. It doesn't look very gothic, but it has this different visual style that I find really appealing. It, too, has some fantastic set designs, matte paintings, effects, and all that good stuff. It's a beautiful film (and thankfully, the Blu-ray for
this one
doesn't look like a turd), and that's...pretty much all I like about the movie, music score aside, although it's overall far more tolerable than the sequel.
But
Batman also has a really aggravating detail (well, a lot of them, really, but this one chafes my pole the most): Bruce sleeping upside down. Like he were a bat. Haw haw. Real funny, Burton. For that and all the other stupid things in the first film, I'm convinced you could've had the best writer in the world for
Returns and Burton still would have mucked it up. If he loved
The Killing Joke so much and hated everything else Batman, why couldn't he have played either of his B'man films straight with great characters and dialog like the comic and not added in all the retarded crap? And Nicholson's Joker sucks. He just does. Can't understand the people who say he's a great Joker. It's just Jack Nicholson playing Jack Nicholson in clown paint with a hint of Cesar Romero. It sucks.
Nolan Batman... There's some retarded stuff in those films, too, but nothing nearly as camp and outrageously bad, and they're really good movies overall, so I can forgive the weak spots.